View source for Fools in April/transcript

{{EpisodeTranscript}}{{L|''[the episode begins with Gary snoring and meowing]''}}
{{L|SpongeBob|Wake up, Gary.}}
{{L|Gary|''[wakes up]'' Meow?}}
{{L|SpongeBob|We're moving today!}}
{{L|Gary|''[quizzically]'' Meow?}}
{{L|SpongeBob|That's right! We're leaving home. We're going to become peasants! ''[puts on a hat and fake beard]''}}
{{L|Gary|Meow.}}
{{L|SpongeBob|''[He takes away Gary's bowl]'' No more food. ''[gives Gary a plate with clams on it]'' Sorry, Gary. Peasants only eat mashed-up clamshells. ''[SpongeBob puts salt in the shells, and Gary starts crying]'' April Fools! ''[takes off the outfit and puts Gary's food bowl back onto the floor]'' There ya go, pal!}}
{{L|Gary|Meow. ''[eats]''}}
{{L|SpongeBob|''[goes into the kitchen]'' Whew, I'm thirsty! ''[takes a big glass of lemonade out of the fridge]'' ''[deep voice]'' This is an extreme thirst! ''[sets the lemonade down on the floor; bubble transition to him putting all the lemonade into a lot of small glasses with umbrellas]''}}
{{L|SpongeBob|''[normal voice]'' Whew, I'm exhausted. I sure can't wait to drink all of these drinks! April Fools! ''[holds up a mirror]'' To me! ''[laughs obnoxiously and walks outside and towards work. Squidward sees him]''}}
{{L|Squidward|What's he so happy about? ''[walks by the calendar and notices it's April Fools Day. He panics]'' April 1st? ''[screams]'' April Fools Day is SpongeBob's favorite holiday! ''[puts a heating pad on his head and dials the number for the Krusty Krab]'' Mr. Krabs, I can't come in today. I caught something terrible.}}
{{L|Mr. Krabs|''[over phone]'' What'd you catch?}}
{{L|Squidward|I caught sight of the calendar.}}
{{L|Mr. Krabs|Oh, hold on, Squidward, there's someone here to see you. He says he's from the Barnacle Bay Art Museum and he wants to honor you as artist of the month.}}
{{L|''[Squidward runs to the Krusty Krab with an artist uniform on]''}}
{{L|Squidward|I have arrived. ''[SpongeBob and Mr. Krabs laugh]'' What's so funny? Where's the art dealer?}}
{{L|''[SpongeBob and Mr. Krabs laugh more]''}}
{{L|Mr. Krabs|You just missed him.}}
{{L|SpongeBob|Yeah, but he told us to tell you...}}
{{L|Squidward|Tell me what?}}
{{L|SpongeBob|''[whispers into Squidward's ear]'' He told me to tell you... April Fools.}}
{{L|Squidward|''[lays his hat on the table]'' Well, it's been nice working here. ''[he walks off]'' Thanks for everything, Mr. Krabs.}}
{{L|SpongeBob|Squidward, wait!}}
{{L|Squidward|Just send my last check to the P.O. box, Mr. Krabs!}}
{{L|SpongeBob|Wait, Squidward! ''[grabs Squidward's legs]'' It was just a joke! No more jokes on you today, I promise!}}
{{L|Squidward|You do?}}
{{L|SpongeBob|Sure, there are lots of other willing participants. Right, Mr. Krabs?}}
{{L|''[Mr. Krabs sits on a whoopee cushion and it "farts." SpongeBob laughs]''}}
{{L|Squidward|Well, as long as it's not me.}}
{{L|''[bubble transition to SpongeBob carrying a tray of burger patties when an old lady comes by]''}}
{{L|Cora|Excuse me, could you tell me where the forks are?}}
{{L|SpongeBob|They're right here, lady! ''[leads her to the utensils]''}}
{{L|Cora|''[picks up a spoon]'' But this is a spoon.}}
{{L|SpongeBob|April Fools! ''[laughs; Squidward stares at SpongeBob and he runs away; bubble transition to SpongeBob behind the register; a customer comes up to him]'' Welcome to the Krusty Krab. How may I help you?}}
{{L|Nat|''[raises up his left arm]'' Yeah, give me two large fries and a Jumbo Krabby Patty.}}
{{L|SpongeBob|''[points at something]'' Hey, what's that?}}
{{L|''[Nat turns around; SpongeBob turns around and has a smiley face on his back]''}}
{{L|Nat|Well, I didn't see anything. ''[notices that SpongeBob is gone]'' Hey, where'd that other guy go?}}
{{L|''[SpongeBob turns around]''}}
{{L|SpongeBob|April Fools! I'm right here!}}
{{L|Nat|''[laughs]'' Hey, that was pretty good.}}
{{L|''[SpongeBob laughs obnoxiously; Squidward notices SpongeBob behind the register]''}}
{{L|Squidward|What are you doing behind the counter?}}
{{L|''[Bubble transition to SpongeBob wiping the floor; Tom comes by with a cup of soda]''}}
{{L|Tom|Excuse me, can I get a couple of ice cubes in here, please?}}
{{L|SpongeBob|Sure! A couple of ice cubes coming up! ''[fills the cup with ice and comes back whistling]'' Here you go.}}
{{L|Tom|Thanks. ''[he takes a sip of his drink; SpongeBob titters and Tom looks at him, but SpongeBob stops before Tom turns around]'' Huh? ''[SpongeBob is silent, so Tom takes another sip of his drink; SpongeBob starts giggling again and then Tom turns around and looks at him, but SpongeBob stops before he turns around]'' Huh? ''[SpongeBob is silent, so Tom finishes his drink]'' Ah.}}
{{L|SpongeBob|''[laughs loudly and obnoxiously]'' April Fools! ''[Tom grabs SpongeBob by the collar, suddenly panicked]''}}
{{L|Tom|What did you do to my drink?!}}
{{L|SpongeBob|I... ''[giggles]'' I... ''[giggles]''}}
{{L|Tom|You what?!?!}}
{{L|SpongeBob|You asked for a couple of ice cubes in your drink, and I only put in one! ''[laughs]''}}
{{L|Tom|I guess that is pretty funny. ''[laughs as he walks off]''}}
{{L|SpongeBob|''[laughs so hard his tongue pops off]'' Hey, your shoes untied. ''[tongue looks down]'' April Fools! You're not wearing shoes! ''[laughs and hugs his tongue, which smiles. Then they laugh into the microphone; everyone hears it; in the kitchen, Squidward tries to mute the sound with tissues, but he can still hear it]'' April Fools! ''[Squidward drops a plate]''}}
{{L|Squidward|That does it! SpongeBob and his stupid pranks! I'm going to show him what a ''real'' prank is all about! ''[bubble transition to him squirting some mustard inside a rope circle then he chuckles and shows SpongeBob the mess]''}}
{{L|SpongeBob|Oh, boy! Something for me to clean up! ''[starts cleaning it and Squidward is standing next to a rope which he is about to cut]''}}
{{L|Squidward|April Fools! ''[laughs as he cuts the rope which grabs SpongeBob]''}}
{{L|SpongeBob|Whooaahh! ''[the rope sends him into a bag of flour. Squidward is laughing through all of this. Then SpongeBob is taken around a bar]'' Whoa! Blblblblblblblblblblblbl... ''[screams as he is sent slamming face-first into the wall]''}}
{{L|Customers|Oh, no!}}
{{L|''[Squidwards eyes pop out as he laughs hysterically. SpongeBob screams and flies into Bubble Bass' rear]''}}
{{L|SpongeBob|Whoooooooooooooooooooooooooooaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa! ''[Cut to Squidward cheerleading, laughing, and jumping into the air. Then SpongeBob smashes into the ceiling]''}}
{{L|Squidward|''[runs and holds out his arms to catch SpongeBob]'' I'll catch you, SpongeBob! ''[he giggles to himself. SpongeBob screams as he plummets toward Squidward, who quickly  sets out a garbage can in front of him, and SpongeBob falls into the goop in the can]'' Oops. ''[dumps SpongeBob, who is now the shape of the can, out of the garbage can]'' April Fools, you little sausage! ''[he laughs; SpongeBob sobs hysterically and runs out of the Krusty Krab]'' SpongeBob! I was just kidding! C'mon, c'mon. You all know I was just kidding… Right?}}
{{L|Martin|Aww, man, poor kid.}}
{{L|Shubie|That guy has definitely got some issues to work out. ''[The customers angrily glare at Squidward as they begin to leave]''}}
{{L|Francis|April Fools... jerk. ''[All the customers storm out the door in disgust]''}} 
{{L|Squidward|Wait, don't go!}}
{{L|Man|Hey, you stink!}}
{{L|Squidward|Wait, wait, it was a joke! Uh huh... ''[looks around at the mess he has made and winces, then he looks at Bubble Bass, who has a hole in his bottom due to the "prank" and Squidward starts to feel ashamed of himself]'' Why is it whenever I'm having fun, it's wrong? I didn't mean to make him cry. I guess this means I'd better tell SpongeBob I'm sor-eaach. ''[makes silly face]'' Huh? I guess this means I'd better apolo- ''[throat goes haywire]'' gii! This is gonna be tougher than I thought.  ''[bubble transition to Squidward going to SpongeBob's pineapple; he knocks on SpongeBob's door]'' SpongeBob? Uh, SpongeBob, come out! I've got something to tell you! SpongeBob? ''[notices a Krusty Krab hat and goes over there to talk to the man who is wearing it]'' Uhh, I was thinking about today and uh… and it just seems that I may owe you some sort of… This isn't something I normally do, so, listen carefully SpongeBob, because I am about to tell you that I am... What? ''[notices that the guy with the hat on is Patrick]'' Patrick? What are you doing here?}}
{{L|Patrick|Digging.}}
{{L|Squidward|Why are you wearing that hat?}}
{{L|Patrick|Hmm, I don't know. ''[takes off the hat]''}}
{{L|Squidward|''[growls]'' Where's SpongeBob?}}
{{L|Patrick|He's in the house. He's impressed.}}
{{L|Squidward|With what?}}
{{L|Patrick|I don't know, but it must've been pretty good to make him cry like that.}}
{{L|Squidward|''[shivers then goes back to SpongeBob's house]'' SpongeBob, SpongeBob, let me in there! ''[tries to turn the handle, but SpongeBob's arm comes from under the door and pulls it inside; Squidward grabs his clarinet]'' SpongeBob, you'd better let me in there! I don't want to have to use this! ''[plays clarinet horribly. SpongeBob opens the door]''}}
{{L|SpongeBob|What do you want?}}
{{L|Squidward|SpongeBob, I just wanted to say that I'm sorr-yyyy. ''[sticks out tongue while talking]''}}
{{L|SpongeBob|What?}}
{{L|Squidward|I'm trying to say I'm ''[turns into a donkey and starts braying]'' hee-haw-hee-haw!}}
{{L|SpongeBob|What?}}
{{L|Squidward|I'm just trying to say that I'm... ''[head explodes]'' There's gotta be an easier way to do this. ''[bubble transition to Squidward writing a note; he puts it in a bottle and rolls it to SpongeBob where he picks it up]'' Well, aren't you going to open it?}}
{{L|SpongeBob|I can't. I don't have a bottle opener.}}
{{L|Squidward|Doh! ''[Squidward hands SpongeBob a can and Squidward drives to the other side of the road]'' SpongeBob, I'm... ''[whispers into the can, then puts the can up to his ear but hears some sort of noise; Patrick is flossing his teeth with the cord; Squidward growls and throws the binoculars down on the ground]'' SpongeBob, all I am trying to say is that I am... ''[waves tentacles in the air and bubbles form, puts a big bubble on his head and then talks]'' ...sorry. ''[pops the bubble]'' There you go.}}
{{L|SpongeBob|But I couldn't... ''[Squidward slams the door in his face]''}}
{{L|Squidward|I don't care! I said it! My conscience is clear! ''[Starts to walk away, when an image of Patrick appears in the air]''}}
{{L|Patrick|Must've been pretty good to make him cry like that. ''[Squidward nervously continues walking and runs into a ghost image of a guy at the Krusty Krab]''}}
{{L|Tom|April Fools... jerk. ''[Squidward frantically starts running again, but this time his mother appears]''}}
{{L|Mama Tentacles|''[male voice]'' You stink!}}
{{L|Squidward|Mother? ''[runs back to SpongeBob's house to apologize]'' All right, all right! I'm sorry, I'm sorry! I admit it, I'm sorry! I didn't mean to hurt you, in fact, SpongeBob, I like you! I like living next door, I like hearing your foghorn alarm in the morning and your high-pitched giggling at night! I also like Gary, Patrick, Sandy, Mr. Krabs, and all the other people I'm forced to be in contact with! And, and, and... ''[SpongeBob opens the door slightly]''}}
{{L|SpongeBob|Squidward! Is all that true?}}
{{L|Squidward|Yes, SpongeBob. Yes, it's all true.}}
{{L|SpongeBob|Even the part about the lima beans and the car chase?}}
{{L|Squidward|What the...? Yes, whatever! But you have to promise not to tell anybody.}}
{{L|SpongeBob|I promise.}}
{{L|Squidward|Really? ''[SpongeBob opens the door all the way, revealing the citizens of Bikini Bottom inside]''}}
{{L|Everyone|April Fools!}}
{{L|Squidward|''[twitches eye]'' April Fools! You're right, April Fools! I just fooled you all! ''[laughs hysterically while going back into his house]''}}
{{L|SpongeBob|What would we do without Squidward?}}