View source for As Seen on TV/transcript

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{{EpisodeTranscript}}
{{L|''[Mr. Krabs' pet worm Mr. Doodles is sniffing some coral.]''}}
{{L|Mr. Krabs|C'mon, Mr. Doodles. ''[pulls Mr. Doodles away, choking him briefly]'' We haven't got all day. We've gotta get down to me favorite restaurant. Mine. Where we're shootin' our first ever Krusty Krab commercial. After this commercial airs, we'll be swarmin' with customers. I can already feel myself sweatin' money.}}
{{L|''[Mr. Doodles barks.]''}}
{{L|Mr. Krabs|No, I got Squidward organizin' the whole thing. He's... y'know... artsy. ''[sees something he does not like]'' What the...? This looks expensive. Out of my way. Comin' through. Move it or lose it. Squidward!}}
{{L|Squidward|''[descending]'' What?}}
{{L|Mr. Krabs|What in Neptune's name is goin' on?}}
{{L|Squidward|We're making the commercial, Mr. Krabs.}}
{{L|Mr. Krabs|What you're doin' is throwin' away me money! I told you to rent, only what is absolutely necessary.}}
{{L|Squidward|This ''is'' all necessary.}}
{{L|Mr. Krabs|Well what's all this useless junk? ''[the junk is shown]''}}
{{L|Squidward|That's the useless junk for scene, uh, 28.}}
{{L|Mr. Krabs|Oh, well, then how do you explain that? ''[Pointing to 2 Krusty Krabs]'' A second Krusty Krab?}}
{{L|Squidward|Mr. Krabs, everyone needs an understudy. ''[showing Mr. Krabs' double]''}}
{{L|Mr. Krabs|Well, you got me there. But why do we need ''him?'' ''[pointing to a clown]''}}
{{L|Squidward|''[whispers]'' This job gets very stressful, Mr. Krabs.}}
{{L|Mr. Krabs|''[to the commercial crew]'' All right, get lost, all of ya! ''[everyone leaves angrily]'' You're fired! Go on! Scram! Get outta here, ya moochers. That's right, keep movin'.}}
{{L|Incidental|You know what? You know what? Yeah.}}
{{L|Mr. Krabs|''[stops the clown from leaving]'' Except you. You stay.}}
{{L|''[The clown smiles and a horn honks.]''}}
{{L|Squidward|Well, this is just great. Now we've got no crew to make the commercial.}}
{{L|Mr. Krabs|What are you talkin' about, Squidward? We got the cheapest crew in the world. You, me, and SpongeBob. Speakin' of which, where is the little barnacle?}}
{{L|SpongeBob|''[muffled, as his nose pokes from underground]'' I'm down here, sir.}}
{{L|Mr. Krabs|What are you doin', lad?}}
{{L|SpongeBob|Squidward said I could help by burying myself!}}
{{L|Mr. Krabs|Quit foolin' and come on out. ''[pulls SpongeBob out]'' I need you to be in the commercial!}}
{{L|SpongeBob|''[gasps]'' Me? In the Krusty Krab commercial? Me?! ''[we see a background of him smiling ecstatically]''}}
{{L|Squidward|''[stammers]'' But, but, but, but, but, but, but...}}
{{L|Mr. Krabs|''[SpongeBob is still smiling]'' Don't throw your buts at me, Mr. Squidward. We got a timetable to keep. This thing airs tonight.}}
{{L|SpongeBob and Squidward|Tonight?!}}
{{L|Mr. Krabs|Yup, I got a sweet deal on a prime-time slot.}}
{{L|French Narrator|''[reading timecard]'': 3:28 am.}}
{{L|SpongeBob|It's almost on, Gary. ''[Gary yawns]'' Yeah, I got butterflies, too. This is the most exciting thing to happen in the history of history. ''[the TV displays a wild west show, then shows the Krusty Krab commercial]'' Look, Gary! It's on! ''[the commercial starts]''}}
{{L|Pearl|''[as Amy]'' Oh, Jen. I've got a real problem.}}
{{L|Squidward|''[as Jen]'' What's your problem, Amy?}}
{{L|Pearl|''[as Amy, holding a wad of cash in her flippers]'' I've got all this ''money'' and I don't know what to do with it and I'm hungry.}}
{{L|''[Mr. Krabs is laughing offscreen.]''}}
{{L|Pearl|''[as Amy]'' Who's there?}}
{{L|Squidward|''[as Jen]'' Where's that coming from?}}
{{L|''[Purple smoke appears, revealing Mr. Krabs.]''}}
{{L|Amy and Jen|Yippee, it's Mr. Krabs!}}
{{L|Mr. Krabs|That's right, Amy. I heard all about your little problem and I'm here to help. Follow... me!}}
{{L|''[Transitions to the Krusty Krab.]''}}
{{L|Amy and Jen|Where are we?}}
{{L|Mr. Krabs|Why, we're at none other than the Krusty Krab.}}
{{L|Amy|Did you say "Krusty Krab?"}}
{{L|Mr. Krabs|''[speakphone appears all of a sudden]'' That's right! Krusty Krab! Home of the world famous... Krabby Patty!}}
{{L|Jen|What's a Krabby Patty?}}
{{L|''[Mr. Krabs' jaw drops, the camera zooms in and out, and a bouncing spring noise plays.]''}}
{{L|Mr. Krabs|Why, it's only the most mouthwaterin', appetizin' food in the seven seas.}}
{{L|SpongeBob|''[he is shown from the neck down at the grill, holding the spatula with a patty on the grill]'' There I am, Gary! There I am!}}
{{L|Mr. Krabs|''[the ingredients appear on the bun as he says this]'' We start with a fresh patty, grilled and juicy. Add some crisp undersea veggies and cheese. Topped off with secret sauce and some buns. Voila! A Krabby Patty.}}
{{L|Amy|I want a Krabby Patty.}}
{{L|Jen|Me, too.}}
{{L|Mr. Krabs|How do you like them Krabby Patties, girls? ''[laughs]''}}
{{L|Amy and Jen|''[give a thumbs up as they are eating]''}}
{{L|''[Mr. Krabs is still laughing.]''}}
{{L|SpongeBob|''[his hat is showing through the order window as Krabs puts his claw up to look like he is holding up two fingers]'' Look, Gary, there I am again! Look!}}
{{L|Mr. Krabs|Two more satisfied customers. So why don't you come on in, and have yourself a Krabby Patty today?}}
{{L|All|''[words appear on screen]'' ♪ The Krusty Krab: Come Spend Your Money Here! ♪}}
{{L|''[The commercial ends.]''}}
{{L|SpongeBob|That was the best 60 seconds of my life! Well, time for bed. ''[cut to the clam rooster crowing. SpongeBob wakes up and the alarm goes off]'' Time to go do my favorite thing at my favorite place. ''[humming]''}}
{{L|Old Man Jenkins|Hey, you!}}
{{L|SpongeBob|Top of the mornin', oldster.}}
{{L|Old Man Jenkins|Hey! I saw you on TV last night. ''[cut to flashback showing that Old Man Jenkins was actually watching a bran flakes commercial and saw the yellow box]''}}
{{L|Announcer|New Bran Flakes. Bold new taste. Bran Flakes. ''[screen fades back to Spongebob]''}}
{{L|SpongeBob|You did?}}
{{L|Old Man Jenkins|Yeah. You were on a commercial.}}
{{L|SpongeBob|You're right! Wow, he recognized me.}}
{{L|Old Man Jenkins|Yup. See ya later, Bran Flakes. What a nice cereal box.}}
{{L|SpongeBob|''[talking to himself]'' "Weren't you that guy on TV?" Yes! I am that guy. ''[laughs]'' How kind of you to notice. Weren't you that guy on the television last night? Yes, that was me. I... ''[bumps into Nat Peterson]''}}
{{L|SpongeBob|Oh, please excuse me, sir.}}
{{L|Nat Peterson|''[reading SpongeBob's nametag]'' Oh, that's quite all right, uhh... SpongeBob.}}
{{L|SpongeBob|Wow. I'm getting recognized all over. Why, next thing ya know, people are gonna start doing things like holding doors open for... ''[gasps as Nat opens the door to enter the restaurant]'' Why, sir, I'm flattered.}}
{{L|Nat Peterson| ''[waving his flipper up and down in front of his face]'' Really? I don't smell anything.}}
{{L|SpongeBob|''[laughs]'' You're on your way, kid!}}
{{L|Fred|Excuse me, sir, can I get a napkin?}}
{{L|SpongeBob|Why, of course, good sir. And next time, feel free to approach me. It most be so degrading to ask from across the room. And who am I making this bad boy out to?}}
{{L|Fred| ''[sarcastically]'' To my tail fin. I'll get it myself. ''[gets up and walks away]''}}
{{L|SpongeBob|F-I-N. There we are, darling. Hmph. Shyness got the best of him.}}
{{L|Squidward|There you are, SpongeBob. I need you to...}}
{{L|SpongeBob|No problem, Squidward. I got one already made out. Enjoy.}}
{{L|Squidward|''[holding a napkin reading, "To my tail fin; Love, SpongeBob]'' To my tail fin? ''[checks to see if he has one]''}}
{{L|SpongeBob|Yes, I am that guy on TV.}}
{{L|Tyler|''[walking up to the condiment table with his friend]'' Hey, look!}}
{{L|SpongeBob|Please, good people, no photos at work.}}
{{L|Tyler|Here's the ketchup. ''[squirts ketchup on his Krabby Patty]''}}
{{L|SpongeBob|Well, maybe just one. ''[poses]'' Another one? Okay. Limbo. ''[limboes under the mop]'' And now, the, uh, oh, I got it.}}
{{L|Mr. Krabs|There you are, SpongeBob!}}
{{L|SpongeBob|Jet pilot.}}
{{L|Mr. Krabs|Now I need you to... ''[SpongeBob spins the mop like an airplane propeller and hits him]'' ...Ow! ''[his claw breaks]'' Alright, boy! Get in there and scrub the head and stop actin' so predictable!}}
{{L|SpongeBob|I'm so misunderstood. Alas, good people, even the brightest of stars grow weary, and I am no exception. But I will shine again after a quick break in my quarters. Stay beautiful. ''[we cut to Dale and Lou in the restroom]''}}
{{L|Dale|Hey, were you able to catch Glandy McPinkfish on Flounderman last night?}}
{{L|Lou|No. How was he?}}
{{L|Dale|Well, I knew that this guy's acting was good, but his singing was phenomenal. ''[SpongeBob is listening to their conversation while cleaning a urinal]'' I'm tellin' you, Vendor, if that guy was to cut a solo record, he'd be a hit! ''[both close stall doors]''}}
{{L|SpongeBob|''[pupils change into stars as he wipes the inside of the urinal]'' Solo record...}}
{{L|''[Cuts to Mr. Krabs' office, where he is writing a resignation notice.]''}}
{{L|Mr. Krabs|So, if I fire him and make his successor do twice the work, and... ''[knock on door]'' ...eh, come in. ''[in walks SpongeBob and poses like a model]'' Oh, it's just you, SpongeBob. Those heads better be beautiful.}}
{{L|SpongeBob|They are, Mr. Krabs, and so is mine. And now I gotta lay somethin' on ya, Krabs baby.}}
{{L|Mr. Krabs|The only thing you <big>'''''better lay'''''</big> is some patties on the grill, Fry Boy.}}
{{L|SpongeBob|Nah, I can't take that gig, Krabber. That phase in my career is over. I'm an entertainer now.}}
{{L|Mr. Krabs|What in blazes are you talkin' about?}}
{{L|SpongeBob|Come on, Krabs. Let's think outside the box for a second. Commercials are old-hat. The people want music. If I could change fate I would, Krabsy. And I'm an entertainer deep down. A people's person. We're on the same page here, aren't we?}}
{{L|''[Mr. Krabs briefly stares at SpongeBob dumbfounded, his eyes inflated to a comically large size.]''}}
{{L|Mr. Krabs|Boy, those Krabby fumes must've gotten to your head. Borrow Squidward's gas mask and get ''right'' back to work.}}
{{L|SpongeBob|''[snaps fingers twice]'' I knew you'd understand. Well, thanks for the start. I'm outta here. ''[snaps his fingers outside his office]''}}
{{L|Mr. Krabs|Oooooh... I've never felt such a strange combination of pity... and indigestion. ''[goes back to writing notice]''}}
{{L|''[SpongeBob continues snapping his fingers as he walks out, then is stopped by a crowd of angry customers.]''}}
{{L|Bill|There he is! Hey! We've been waiting for you!}}
{{L|Nazz|Where have you been? ''[SpongeBob makes an O-shaped mouth wiggling]''}}
{{L|Bill|How long are you going to keep us standing here?}}
{{L|Squidward|Well, SpongeBob? Are you just gonna stand there like a half-wit, mouth agape? Or are you gonna fill these peoples' orders?}}
{{L|SpongeBob|Pipe down, Squidward. This crowd looks angry. They're not gonna wait any longer. I think I better give them what they need, and fast.}}
{{L|Squidward|I think so, too, or Krabs will fire both of us. ''[smiling]'' On second thought, keep 'em waiting.}}
{{L|SpongeBob|No can do, Squidward. These people demand entertainment.}}
{{L|Squidward|Enter-what?!}}
{{L|''[SpongeBob grabs the order microphone.]''}}
{{L|SpongeBob|How you doin', folks?}}
{{L|All|Hungry!}}
{{L|SpongeBob|That's no problem, ladies and germs. 'Cause SpongeBob is here to satisfy. ''[turns down the lights]''}}
{{L|Squidward|Hey!}}
{{L|Bill|''[to his friend]'' Eating here was ''your'' idea.}}
{{L|SpongeBob|I'd like to call this little number "Striped Sweater." ♪ The best time to wear a striped sweater is all the time. One with a collar, turtleneck, ''[pinches Bill's sweater. Bill is staring angrily at him]'' that's the kind ''[screeching]'' 'Cause when you're wearing... ♪ ''[the lights turns back on and they start complaining]''}}
{{L|Bill|We're starving!}}
{{L|SpongeBob|♪ That one... special... sweater... ♪ ''[yelling continues]'' Squidward, this crowd is insatiable.}}
{{L|Squidward|Then why don't you go back in the kitchen, and grab some patties, and give them what they <big>'''''came here for?'''''</big>!}}
{{L|SpongeBob|Juggling! Thanks, Squiddy. ''[crowd is booing]''}}
{{L|Nancy|Is this some kind of joke?!}}
{{L|SpongeBob|They want juggling and jokes at the same time? Tough crowd. ''[juggling patties]''}}
{{L|Bill|Oh, now what's he doing?!}}
{{L|SpongeBob|Uh, what do you call a vampire whose car breaks down three miles from a blood bank? A cab! ''[rimshot]''}}
{{L|Bill|We're losing our appetites!}}
{{L|SpongeBob|Uh, okay. There's a nun, an astronaut, and a hairdryer.}}
{{L|All|We want patties!}}
{{L|SpongeBob|Well, the most I can juggle is three, but the show must go on. Whoa! ''[slips on grease and patties flip in the air]''}}
{{L|''[In slow motion, cut between SpongeBob slipping, the patties flying, and the crowd booing at the ordering window; the same sequence is shown again before SpongeBob is shown.]''}}
{{L|SpongeBob|''[screaming]'' No! ''[in his head]'' My career is over. All those years clawing my way up. All the people I've stepped on, wasted.}}
{{L|''[The patties land on the grill; normal speed resumes as the crowd smiles.]''}}
{{L|Bill|Hey! Finally!}}
{{L|Nancy|That's what we've been waiting for!}}
{{L|SpongeBob|''[dotted lines form from his eyes to point to patty]'' They seem to like it when I put this patty on the grill. I may be able to save this act, yet! Roll with it, SpongeBob. Roll with it. There's more where that came from, folks! ''[puts a ton of patties on the grill]''}}
{{L|All|Yay!}}
{{L|SpongeBob|You like that?!}}
{{L|Bill|It's what we wanted all along!}}
{{L|SpongeBob|''[thinking]'' It's working! But how do I follow it up? Think on your feet, SpongeBob, it'll get you this far. ''[notices a bag of buns on the table]'' Buns! ''[speaking]'' It's a stretch, but we've all gotta try to push the envelope sometime! ''[shakes the buns out of the sack]'' Okay, folks, how do you like this? ''[flips patties inside buns]''}}
{{L|All|Yeah!}}
{{L|SpongeBob|I'm breaking new ground. Time to get edgy!}}
{{L|Customers|We want onions! Cheese! Yay!}}
{{L|SpongeBob|Ready for the grand finale? ''[customers ready their trays as SpongeBob throws their Krabby Patties at their respective trays. Squidward is shown sleeping]''}}
{{L|All|Whoopee! Krabby Patties! ''[Squidward wakes up as Mr. Krabs exits his office]''}}
{{L|Mr. Krabs|Well, SpongeBob, looks like you've finally found your calling. ''[gives SpongeBob his hat back]''}}
{{L|SpongeBob|I'll say. ''[flips a patty that stays in midair]'' I'm so glad I gave up fry cooking for this. ''[the screen quickly fades to black, ending the episode]''}}
[[es:Como lo vio en TV(Transcripcion)]]