View source for Arrgh!/transcript

{{EpisodeTranscript}}
{{L|''[The episode opens with Mr. Krabs, not shown, peeking with a telescope outside the Krusty Krab, looking for the customers.]''}}
{{L|Mr. Krabs|''[looks around]'' Where could they be? They should've been here hours ago! Arrgh. ''[a paper blows away]'' Not a customer in sight. If I don't make any money today, I'll surely break out in a rash! ''[hears SpongeBob cheering]''}}
{{L|SpongeBob|Yippee! I'm rich! Look, Patrick! ''[Patrick gasps in joy]'' Eight gold doubloons!}}
{{L|Mr. Krabs|Wait! I saw it first! Hyah! ''[jumps onto the gameboard on the table and sweats]'' Mine, mine! ''[gets confused]'' Huh?!}}
{{L|SpongeBob|Boy, Mr. Krabs, you sure are sweaty.}}
{{L|Mr. Krabs|What's this? Where are the doubloons?}}
{{L|SpongeBob|''[laughs]'' There are no real doubloons, Mr. Krabs! It's a game: "The Flying Dutchman's Treasure Hunt." ''[the camera pans to the gaming board]''}}
{{L|Patrick|Based on a ''[camera zooms at the packaging of the game he's holding]'' real treasure map.}}
{{L|SpongeBob|Take a break and play around with us.}}
{{L|Patrick|Yeah! C'mon, sweaty.}}
{{L|Mr. Krabs|Have you finished cleanin' the tables?}}
{{L|SpongeBob|I cleaned the tables, Mr. Krabs!}}
{{L|Mr. Krabs|''[holding one of the tables]'' Aye, but did you scrape all the gum off the underside? ''[the table is squeaky clean]''}}
{{L|SpongeBob|''[chewing gum along with Patrick]'' I already took care of it. ''[Patrick makes a bubble out of gum and pops it right away]''}}
{{L|Mr. Krabs|''[chuckles]'' All right, lads. Looks like you've shanghaied me. ''[sits down and joins the game]''}}
{{L|Patrick|My turn. ''[rolls the dice]'' Five. ''[makes a raspberry noise while moving piece, then reads a card]'' "One of your shipmates has been a bad pirate! Send him to the brig!" ''[starts to think, SpongeBob turns his eyes toward Mr. Krabs]'' It's off to jail for ''you'', Mr. Krabs.}}
{{L|Mr. Krabs|Patrick, you're fired.}}
{{L|Patrick|But I don't even work here!}}
{{L|Mr. Krabs|Would you like a job, startin' now? ''[puts a Krusty Krab employee hat on Patrick's head]''}}
{{L|Patrick|Boy, would I?!}}
{{L|Mr. Krabs|''[takes the hat off Patrick's head]'' You're fired.}}
{{L|SpongeBob|My turn. ''[rolls the dice and moves the piece]'' One, two, three, four. ''[picks up the card and reads it]'' "Look for the Deacon's Goose thru the fork in the old tree and head that way." ''[leans slightly to look through the hole in the green tree]'' Well, I see Mr. Krabs' zipper is undone.}}
{{L|Mr. Krabs|''[gasps]'' Shiver me timbers!}}
{{L|SpongeBob|''[laughs]'' Just kidding, Mr. Krabs. ''[now off-screen]'' I'm almost to the treasure. ''[gives Mr. Krabs the dice]'' Your turn again, Mr. Krabs.}}
{{L|Mr. Krabs|''[rolls the dice]'' Ooh, fish eyes! ''[moving the piece in front of SpongeBob's eyes]'' One, two.}}
{{L|SpongeBob|''[picks up card and reads it]'' "You are a real pirate. Go straight to the 'X' that marks the spot." ''[points at the 'X']'' You get to dig for treasure, Mr. Krabs!}}
{{L|Mr. Krabs|Treasure... ''[SpongeBob gives him a small toy shovel and digs a hole with it to reveal a mini plastic treasure chest in the middle of the board]'' There it is. ''[getting more excited]'' It's the Flying Dutchman's Treasure! ''[picks up the tiny chest]'' Gold, gold, gold! Mine, mine, mine, mine, mine! ''[starts sweating profusely]''}}
{{L|SpongeBob|Hey, Mr. Krabs is getting all sweaty again.}}
{{L|Fred|''[walks into the Krusty Krab]'' Rev up those fryers, 'cause I am sure hungry for one-- ''[Mr. Krabs picks him up, holds him over his head and heads for the door]'' Help! Help! ''[Mr. Krabs throws him out the door]'' My leg!}}
{{L|Mr. Krabs|Can't you see we're closed?! ''[rushes back to the game table]'' Ready for another round? This is my kind of game! ''[cut to the exterior of The Krusty Krab]''}}
{{L|SpongeBob and Patrick|''[off-screen]'' Hooray!}}
{{L|Mr. Krabs|Six! One, two... I win again! Oh, that's seventeen times in a row. ''[scene changes from day to night. SpongeBob and Patrick look tired; Patrick is even asleep on the table]''}}
{{L|SpongeBob|''[in a very tired voice, Patrick is snoring, Mr. Krabs is rolling the dice again]'' I think we oughta call it a night, Mr. Krabs. I really gotta get some sleep.}}
{{L|Mr. Krabs|Oh, you can't walk out on me now.}}
{{L|SpongeBob|I'm sorry, Mr. Krabs. ''[yawns, then slings Patrick over his shoulder and carries him out]'' See you tomorrow...}}
{{L|''[The scene wipes to a tired SpongeBob, after taking Patrick home, walking to the front door of his house.]''}}
{{L|SpongeBob|''[opens door, rattling noises heard]'' Huh? Who's there? ''[notices Mr. Krabs playing the treasure game, turns light on]''}}
{{L|Mr. Krabs|Come on, SpongeBob. One more game. I can smell the treasure.}}
{{L|SpongeBob|''[pushes Mr. Krabs outside]'' Mr. Krabs, it's late. Go to bed! Good night, Mr. Krabs. ''[slams the door, but Mr. Krabs is inside the house once again]''}}
{{L|Mr. Krabs|Wind is perfect, the tide is right. Let's hunt for treasure.}}
{{L|SpongeBob|Mr. Krabs, you gotta... ''[opens the door, and Mr. Krabs is now outside]''}}
{{L|Mr. Krabs|Tread softly, lad. If the Dutchman hears you, we'll never get his treasure.}}
{{L|SpongeBob|But, Mr. Krabs...}}
{{L|Mr. Krabs|I'll roll for you, boy.}}
{{L|SpongeBob|But, Mr...}}
{{L|Mr. Krabs|''[rolls the dice]'' 8 paces, north, that's a good start, lad.}}
{{L|SpongeBob|But, Mr...}}
{{L|Mr. Krabs|One, two, three...}}
{{L|SpongeBob|''[yelling in frustration]'' Mr. Krabs! I wanna go to bed! ''[pauses]'' Mr. Krabs, I'm sorry, but it's just a game, ya know?}}
{{L|Mr. Krabs|A game. That's... right. Of course it is, my mistake. ''[picks up the game board and folds it in half]'' I guess I got a little carried away, eh? Though it is treasure we're dealin' with here. Sorry, for disturbin' ya, lad.}}
{{L|''[Mr. Krabs walks away while SpongeBob shuts the door. Morning arrives, and then the clam "rooster" crows everyone up. SpongeBob is still snoring.]''}}
{{L|Mr. Krabs|''[off-screen]'' Avast! Pineapple, ho. ''[rings bell as SpongeBob wakes up]'' Heave two, and prepare to be boarded. ''[rings bell again]''}}
{{L|SpongeBob|Aw, go home already. ''[gets out of bed and looks out the window]'' I'm done playing that game, Mr. Krabs.}}
{{L|Mr. Krabs|That's ''Captain'' Krabs to you, ''[shows a real pirate ship]'' and this is ''no game''. We're gonna be pirates.}}
{{L|SpongeBob|''[excited]'' Pirates?}}
{{L|Mr. Krabs|Aye! How'd you like to go on a ''real'' treasure hunt, with a ''real'' treasure map?}}
{{L|SpongeBob and Patrick|''[Patrick appears from the side of SpongeBob's house]'' Treasure? ''[dancing around]'' We're gonna be pirates, we're gonna be pirates!}}
{{L|Mr. Krabs|Ay, ay, ay. Belay that skippin'. Pirates don't skip. ''[throws them a bag of pirate stuff]'' Put on this pirate garb, so I won't be embarrassed to be seen with ya. Arrgh.}}
{{L|SpongeBob|Oh, Patrick. Look! Peg legs and eye patches.}}
{{L|Mr. Krabs|Now, don't you feel ''more'' like pirates?}}
{{L|SpongeBob|''[walks towards the plank using two peg legs]'' Look, I'm Peggy the Pirate! ''[loses his balance and falls on the plank]''}}
{{L|Patrick|''[walks towards the plank with two separate eye patches covering his eyes]'' I'm Blindbeard the Pirate. ''[falls on SpongeBob]''}}
{{L|SpongeBob|Ow.}}
{{L|Mr. Krabs|Arrgh!}}
{{L|''[The scene wipes to Mr. Krabs, SpongeBob, and Patrick on the ship in midair. Patrick rows the ship in reverse.]''}}
{{L|Mr. Krabs|''[reads the map]'' Keep a sharp lookout, SpongeBob. Accordin' to the map, we're close to the first landmark.}}
{{L|SpongeBob|Really? Can we see the map?}}
{{L|Mr. Krabs|Uh... no! Only the captain can lay eyes on the map.}}
{{L|SpongeBob|Okie dokie, then. ''[salutes]''}}
{{L|Mr. Krabs|Arrgh, a pirate doesn't say, "okie dokie, then." A pirate says, "''arrgh''!"}}
{{L|SpongeBob|Oh. Okie... oops. ''[laughs while a jellyfish flies by him]'' I mean... ''[standing up]'' arrgh! Captain Krabs. ''[as he looks backwards, his eyes widen as a giant rock is nearby]'' Captain, we're about to hit... uhh... I mean... arrgh, Capt., arrgh, we're, arrgh, about, arrgh, to hit, arrgh...}}
{{L|Mr. Krabs|Out with it man, arrgh!}}
{{L|Patrick|I, arrgh, think, arrgh, he's trying, arrgh, to say...! ''[crashes into the rock]'' land...}}
{{L|Mr. Krabs|Arrgh! From now on, only the captain says, arrgh! Status report, Mr. SquarePants?}}
{{L|SpongeBob|The whole ship is underwater, captain.}}
{{L|Mr. Krabs|Arrgh, we're marooned then. Our treasure hunt will have to continue on foot.}}
{{L|''[Bubble transition to the crew approaching a seaweed plant.]''}}
{{L|Mr. Krabs|This is it, boys, from the seaweed with two leaves on it. ''[the seaweed actually has three leaves]'' 10,000 paces east.}}
{{L|SpongeBob|But, Mr. Krabs, that seaweed has... ''[Mr. Krabs pulls a leaf off, leaving with two as he mentioned earlier]'' Which way, cap'n?}}
{{L|Mr. Krabs|Ensign Patrick, which way is east?}}
{{L|Patrick|Uhh... let's see, uhh... ''[examines the compass needle, which shakily points north. He points what is presumably the wrong direction.]'' That way, captain!}}
{{L|''[Bubble transition to the crew walking the final few steps.]''}}
{{L|Mr. Krabs|9,997... 9,998... 9,999... 10,000! ''[no "X" is present]'' Where's the "X"? Supposed to be right here! 10,000 paces ''east''.}}
{{L|Patrick|Ooh! East? I thought you said "weast"!}}
{{L|Mr. Krabs|Weast? What kind of compass you readin', lad?}}
{{L|Patrick|This one, sir.}}
{{L|Mr. Krabs|''[examines the compass]'' That's west, Patrick. You're fired again.}}
{{L|''[The scene fades to the crew walking again in the opposite direction, which they should've done in the first place thanks to Patrick's misreading.]''}}
{{L|Mr. Krabs|9,551... 9,552...}}
{{L|SpongeBob|Mr. Krabs, we're tired.}}
{{L|Patrick|And hungry.}}
{{L|Mr. Krabs|Oh, so this is my crew. You get a little tired, and a wee bit hungry, and ''you'' wanna shove off for home. Arrgh! That sickens me. ''[holds a wooden cutlass]'' A pirate is not judged by the notches in his cutlass, or the size of his booty. A pirate is judged by the loyalty ''[his eyes fill up with tears]'' of his crew. And without a loyal crew... ''[one of SpongeBob's eyes fill up with tears also]'' what am I captain of? Just a... bunch of sand! ''[cries]''}}
{{L|Patrick|Don't cry, Captain Krabs.}}
{{L|SpongeBob|''[sniffles and crying]'' Yeah, we'll be your loyal crew. ''[both cry too]''}}
{{L|Mr. Krabs|You'll stay with me then?}}
{{L|SpongeBob and Patrick|We'll be the most loyal pirate crew ever!}}
{{L|Mr. Krabs|I knew I could count on you boys. ''[shows his claw]'' One for all!}}
{{L|SpongeBob and Patrick|''[place their hands on top of Mr. Krabs's claw]'' And all for one!}}
{{L|''[Bubble transition to nighttime as SpongeBob and Patrick sleep outside the tent, shivering.]''}}
{{L|SpongeBob|I'm so loyal, I don't even mind sleeping on the cold, hard ground while Captain Krabs sleeps in his w-warm, dry tent.}}
{{L|Patrick|I'm so loyal, I haven't bathed in weeks.}}
{{L|SpongeBob|But we've only been out for a few hours.}}
{{L|Patrick|I know. ''[chuckles. SpongeBob moves away]''}}
{{L|SpongeBob|I'm so loyal, I don't wanna sleep till we find the treasure. Let's go see if the captain will go now!}}
{{L|SpongeBob and Patrick|''[entering the tent]'' Captain Krabs?}}
{{L|SpongeBob|He's not here.}}
{{L|Patrick|Look! The treasure map.}}
{{L|SpongeBob|Only the ''captain'' can look at the map, Patrick.}}
{{L|Patrick|''[walks toward the map]'' Yeah...}}
{{L|SpongeBob|Patrick, what are you doing?}}
{{L|Patrick|Nothing.}}
{{L|SpongeBob|Patrick, you're not supposed to look at the map. ''[Patrick pokes at the map]''}}
{{L|Patrick|I'm not looking, I'm ''touching''. There's no rule against that, is there?}}
{{L|SpongeBob|No, guess there isn't. ''[both poking the map, until it opens]'' Oops! Patrick, it opened by itself. ''[both giggle. Their eyes enlarge and search the map]''}}
{{L|SpongeBob and Patrick|The map, the map, the map, I gotta see it, I gotta look at it. ''[their eyes freeze for a second and then pop back in their heads; their eyes become black]''}}
{{L|Patrick|SpongeBob?}}
{{L|SpongeBob|Yeah?}}
{{L|Patrick|Did you notice something familiar about this map?}}
{{L|SpongeBob|You mean, like that it's our game board taped to a piece of paper?}}
{{L|Mr. Krabs|''[appearing right behind them and angry]'' Do you think this is a problem?}}
{{L|SpongeBob and Patrick|''[scream]'' Mr. Krabs!}}
{{L|Mr. Krabs|So, sneakin' peeks at me treasure map?}}
{{L|Patrick|We're sorry.}}
{{L|Mr. Krabs|That's mutiny on my ship. So you think ol' Captain Krabs has gone crazy, do ye?}}
{{L|SpongeBob|Not at all, Captain Krabs. We don't think that at all!}}
{{L|Patrick|I think that.}}
{{L|Mr. Krabs|I'm gonna throw ya overboard for sayin' that!}}
{{L|''[SpongeBob and Patrick both kneel and beg for mercy, before realizing that the "X" symbol is underneath them.]''}}
{{L|SpongeBob|''[gasps]'' Look! It's the "X."}}
{{L|Mr. Krabs|''[eyes go into "X" like symbol]'' "X" marks the spot!}}
{{L|SpongeBob|Wow! That game really is based on a real treasure map.}}
{{L|Mr. Krabs|Well, what are you waitin' for, lads? ''[SpongeBob and Patrick both start digging]'' Dig! Dig! ''[the scene fades to minutes later]'' Dig, dig, dig, dig, dig, dig, dig, dig.}}
{{L|SpongeBob|We got it, Captain Krabs.}}
{{L|Mr. Krabs|Ha, ha. Hand it up to me, lads. Heave! ''[brings the treasure up]'' We finally found it. ''[opens up the treasure chest]''}}
{{L|Female Chorus|The Dutchman's Treasure!}}
{{L|SpongeBob and Patrick|Wow!}}
{{L|SpongeBob|What are you gonna do with your share, Patrick?}}
{{L|Patrick|I don't know. How are you gonna spend your share, SpongeBob?}}
{{L|Mr. Krabs|What shares? You're not gettin' any of ''my'' treasure!}}
{{L|SpongeBob|We found it together. So ''we'' deserve a share!}}
{{L|Mr. Krabs|Well, ''I'm'' the captain. And I say it's ''mine''!}}
{{L|SpongeBob|What about loyalty?}}
{{L|''[All three are now fighting over the treasure chest.]''}}
{{L|Mr. Krabs|All for one.}}
{{L|SpongeBob|And one for all.}}
{{L|Mr. Krabs|All for one.}}
{{L|SpongeBob|And one for all.}}
{{L|Mr. Krabs|All for one.}}
{{L|SpongeBob|And one for all.}}
{{L|Flying Dutchman|''[sleeping]'' I'm the Flyin' Dutchman.}}
{{L|Mr. Krabs|All for one.}}
{{L|SpongeBob|And one for all.}}
{{L|Flying Dutchman|''[sleeping]'' I'm the Flyin' Dutchman. ''[wakes up]'' Who dares wake the Flyin' Dutchman? Keep it down will ya? I'm tryna get some sleep. ''[noticing them fighting over the treasure chest]'' Huh?}}
{{L|Mr. Krabs|All for one.}}
{{L|SpongeBob and Patrick|One for all. ''[lightning strikes]''}}
{{L|Flying Dutchman|Who dug up the Dutchman's treasure?}}
{{L|Mr. Krabs|''[shoves the chest toward SpongeBob and Patrick]'' They did!}}
{{L|Flying Dutchman|Arrgh! ''[picks up the treasure chest]'' So you two scallywags dug up me treasure?}}
{{L|SpongeBob and Patrick|''[hugging each other in fear]'' Uh-huh!}}
{{L|Flying Dutchman|Well, you saved me a lot of diggin' you did. So here's a reward for the two of ya's.}}
{{L|''[The Flying Dutchman gives them two gold doubloons.]''}}
{{L|SpongeBob|Wow!}}
{{L|Female Chorus|Two gold doubloons!}}
{{L|''[SpongeBob and Patrick take the doubloons and the Flying Dutchman puts away his treasure chest in his pocket.]''}}
{{L|Mr. Krabs|Wait! I'm captain of this crew! Where's ''my'' reward?}}
{{L|Flying Dutchman|Hmm, I guess you're right. A little somethin' for your trouble. ''[flicks something to Mr. Krabs]''}}
{{L|Mr. Krabs|Gold, gold, gold, gold, gold! ''[a tiny plastic treasure chest]'' Huh? Why, it's just a little plastic treasure chest!}}
{{L|Female Chorus|Plastic!}}
{{L|Flying Dutchman|Aye, but it's based on a ''real'' treasure chest. ''[laughs]''}}
{{L|Patrick|Gee, Mr. Krabs, you're lookin' all sweaty again.}}
{{L|''[The Flying Dutchman turns into green smoke and vanishes, ending the episode.]''}}