View source for Deep Sea Despot/transcript

{{KampKoral EpisodeTr}}
{{L|''[One morning, the campers are getting their food from the canteen.]''}}
{{L|French Narrator|Ah, summer camp. Another day, another terrible meal.}}
{{L|''[Kevin pushes his bowl of slop away in disgust. Harvey pokes his with his spoon.]''}}
{{L|Female camper|''[cries]''}}
{{L|''[A female camper is pulled in by her slop.]''}}
{{L|French Narrator|''[gasps]'' Sacrebleu!}}
{{L|''[SpongeBob, Patrick, and Sandy are eating together at the same table.]''}}
{{L|Sandy|''[hears something]'' Quiet, y'all! ''[jumps on table]'' You hearing this?}}
{{L|''[Noisy eating sounds are heard from behind the canteen.]''}}
{{L|SpongeBob|''[with an ear]'' That's the sound of people eating... and liking it! It's coming from over there! ''[points]''}}
{{L|''[Patrick licks his bowl. He turns around and it lands on his head. Sandy and SpongeBob jump behind the canteen. Patrick spins around, shaking the bowl off, and follows them.]''}}
{{L|Sandy|Huh?}}
{{L|''[Nurse Helga, Krabs, and Mrs. Puff are eating behind the canteen, served a wide array of delicious-looking food. Plankton dumps some ice cream onto a sundae.]''}}
{{L|Krabs|''[wipes mouth with napkin]'' Plankton, you've outdone yourself!}}
{{L|''[Plankton is struggling to open a bottle of kelp juice with a corkscrew.]''}}
{{L|Plankton|''[grunts, then]'' Why, thank you, o signer of my checks! ''[bottle explodes]'' Ahh!}}
{{L|''[The kelp juice opens and lands in Krabs' glass. Plankton flies off into a plate of jello. Krabs and Mrs. Puff clink glasses.]''}}
{{L|Krabs|A toast to Chef Plankton, who gave us all--}}
{{L|''[They all suddenly feel ill and turn green.]''}}
{{L|Krabs|--food poisoning!}}
{{L|''[They vomit off-screen. Plankton gets up from the jello with whipped cream on his head and a cherry in his eye. He throws the cherry away and wipes the whipped cream off.]''}}
{{L|Plankton|How dare you? There's nothing wrong with my food. ''[bites a drumstick and chews it]'' See? ''[turns green, clutches his stomach, and faints]''}}
{{L|''[In the nurse's office, Mrs. Puff, Plankton, Krabs, and Nurse Helga are sick and lying in beds. Lady Upturn, Chovy, Larry, Bubble Bass, and Squidward stand in the room. Krabs vomits in a bucket.]''}}
{{L|Krabs|We're all too sick. So one of you junior counselors will have to take the helm.}}
{{L|''[Krabs' vision blurs. He sees everyone as gross monsters.]''}}
{{L|Krabs|Huh? Oh, my. Oh! Oh, you better get that checked. Ooh, you got a condition there, I think.}}
{{L|''[He sees Squidward, who has a handsome face and winks.]''}}
{{L|Krabs|You, handsome! ''[points and groans]'' You're in charge! ''[faints]''}}
{{L|Squidward|''[touched]'' Me?}}
{{L|''[The other junior counselors mutter and walk away, disappointed.]''}}
{{L|Squidward|I'm glad Mr. Krabs sees the importance of leaving someone responsible in charge. ''[shuts the door, then shoves Pearl in and gives her a nurse hat]'' Now take good care of them, Pearl. ''[quickly]'' Bye-bye.}}
{{L|''[Pearl coos, poops her diaper, and sucks on her bottle.]''}}
{{L|''[Squidward, with the rest of the junior counselors, addresses the campers in front of the canteen.]''}}
{{L|Squidward|Attention, campers! The adults are all sick! But in their infinite wisdom, they put me in charge! So have no fear! I will run a tight ship!}}
{{L|Bubble Bass|Oh, please. Krabs was delusional, or he wouldn't have picked a nerd like ''you'' to be in charge.}}
{{L|Larry|Bro, only a loser wouldn't take this opportunity to ''[raises hands]'' full-on party!}}
{{L|''[The campers cheer and throw confetti, then run off.]''}}
{{L|French Narrator|''[over time card]'' One minute later...}}
{{L|''[The camp is lit on fire. Squidward stays with his arm crossed. Campers scream, panic, and run past.]''}}
{{L|Bubble Bass|Krabs put you in charge! Do something!}}
{{L|''[Three campers run around screaming, then a group of anchovies on fire runs past.]''}}
{{L|Squidward|So you guys messed up and now you want ''me'' to fix everything?}}
{{L|Larry|Yes, anything you say! Just lead us, bro!}}
{{L|Squidward|Alright, I'll fix your mess. I've come here to kick butt and play clarinet, and I left my clarinet in my cabin. ''[smacks fists]''}}
{{L|''[A group of anchovies send some tied-up campers into a boat to the kraken.]''}}
{{L|Squidward|Hey!}}
{{L|Kraken|Huh?}}
{{L|Squidward|No sacrifices to the kraken!}}
{{L|''[The anchovies meep in disappointment and walk off. The kraken goes back into the water.]''}}
{{L|Tied-up camper|Hey, guys, come back!}}
{{L|''[Other campers are prepared to launch a canoe into Krabs' office.]''}}
{{L|Squidward|No catapulting canoes!}}
{{L|Camper #1|Ohh!}}
{{L|Camper #2|Oh, shucks!}}
{{L|Harvey|''[leans out of canoe]'' Awww.}}
{{L|''[Craig and Mo are roasting two anchovies on a pizza, with Tall Tail holding a marshmallow on a stick.]''}}
{{L|Squidward|No anchovies on pizza!}}
{{L|Anchovies|Meep! ''[jump off]'' Meep, meep, meep--}}
{{L|Mo|''[groans]''}}
{{L|''[Craig crosses his arms. Tall Tail eats his marshmallow. Patrick walks past the outside, which is on fire, while drinking water.]''}}
{{L|Squidward|Put out that fire!}}
{{L|''[Patrick sprays water on the outhouse to put out the fire. He drinks some more. Another kid comes out of the outhouse, also on fire. Patrick sprays water on him.]''}}
{{L|Camper|Hmph. ''[goes back into the outside and takes toilet paper]''}}
{{L|Squidward|Straighten the stack!}}
{{L|''[The campers are fixing the stack on the canteen's roof. Tall Tail tilts it, pushing off another camper who was adjusting it, who falls and screams.]''}}
{{L|Squidward|Shore up the tower!}}
{{L|''[Perch is hanging from his watchtower. The Frigate Cabin members run in.]''}}
{{L|Larry and Mo|We'll save you! ''[push the tower upright]''}}
{{L|Perch|Whoa! Phew!}}
{{L|Squidward|''[through megaphone]'' Paint the cabins!}}
{{L|''[Two girl campers are painting the lighthouse yellow. Elwood licks his paintbrush.]''}}
{{L|Elwood|This is fun! ''[licks paintbrush]''}}
{{L|''[A camper drills a screw in. Larry pounds a stake with a hammer twice. Bubble transition to Gary slithering past with a hammer in his mouth and tools on his shell.]''}}
{{L|Gary|Meow, meow, meow...}}
{{L|''[Zoom out to show the camp repaired, jellyfish swimming by, and a rainbow in the sky.]''}}
{{L|Campers|''[relieved sigh]''}}
{{L|''[The general store, the canteen, and the outhouse all sparkle.]''}}
{{L|SpongeBob|''[laughs]''}}
{{L|''[At sunset, Squidward, Bubble Bass, and Larry walk on top of Krabs' cabin.]''}}
{{L|Sandy|I can't believe it! Counselor Squidward really pulled it off!}}
{{L|SpongeBob|We believe in you, Mr. Tentacles!}}
{{L|Squidward|Thank you. Thank you. Yes, it's true. I did something amazing here today! And tomorrow I shall make this camp the greatest camp ever!}}
{{L|Campers|Hooray! Yay!}}
{{L|''[Bubble transition to some campers throwing a Squidward-themed parade. Squidward walks on top of the cabin and hoists a flag with his face on it. Militaristic music plays.]''}}
{{L|Squidward|''[sips coffee]'' Ah. What a glorious day in Camp Squidward, the perfect camp.}}
{{L|''[Squidward walks past a flower garden decorated to look like his face.]''}}
{{L|Squidward|A rose by any other name. Ha, ah-ha, ah-ha!}}
{{L|''[One of the campers tries to make him slip on water and blows a raspberry. Squidward comes out of a yellow outhouse with his face on it. It flushes and Squidward comes out.]''}}
{{L|Squidward|Ah, my own personal outhouse that I ''don't'' have to share. ''[chuckles]''}}
{{L|''[Campers are urgently waiting in line. A girl comes out with black gunk on her head. The next camper to go in pulls out an umbrella. Other campers work on a gold statue of Squidward. Squidward supervises construction with a megaphone and hard hat.]''}}
{{L|Squidward|Ah, the statue. It may be of me, but it's really for the people. Huh? ''[sees Elwood floating past and picks him up]'' Hey, loafer! Report for statue construction! ''[unplugs his seahorse inner tube and sends him off]''}}
{{L|Elwood|Not fun!}}
{{L|''[Patrick, Sandy, and SpongeBob move items out of Krabs' cabin.]''}}
{{L|SpongeBob|Excuse me, Mr. Tentacles.}}
{{L|Squidward|That's ''Camp Master'' Tentacles to you.}}
{{L|SpongeBob|Uh, Camp Master Tentacles, why are we throwing out all of Mr. Krabs's stuff?}}
{{L|''[Patrick finds a donut and eats it.]''}}
{{L|Squidward|How else will I be able to move my far superior furniture ''in''?}}
{{L|''[Larry, Craig, and Mo move a chair and table from a truck.]''}}
{{L|Sandy|''[groans]'' Squidward's head is getting more swole than an unmilked udder. I never thought I'd miss an adult in charge.}}
{{L|''[Cut to Krabs flailing in his hospital bed.]''}}
{{L|Krabs|Wah! Wah! Wah!}}
{{L|''[Pearl gives him a bottle. Mrs. Puff, Plankton, and Helga are also sleeping and drinking from bottles. Bubble transition to the canteen whistle blowing. A sign leads "Cafe Le Squid."]''}}
{{L|SpongeBob|Oh, I really worked up an appetite with all that hard labor.}}
{{L|Squidward|''[opens canteen window]'' Welcome, Squampers. I've made my specialty-- baked broccoli loaf a la Squidward. ''[shoves it in SpongeBob's hands]'' ''Now eat it!''}}
{{L|Sandy|Huh?}}
{{L|Squidward|Enjoy.}}
{{L|''[A close-up of the gross broccoli loaf is shown with a dramatic music sting. Patrick tries to put it in his mouth, but is repulsed.]''}}
{{L|Patrick|I don't understand! I can fit it in my mouth, but I don't want to eat it! What madness is this!?}}
{{L|Kevin|Excuse me, Mr. Tentacles! Can we maybe get some apples or at least some milk?}}
{{L|Squidward|Only loyal Squampers get apples and milk. In fact, let me introduce you to them! My new Squid Guard! ''[blows whistle]''}}
{{L|''[Larry, Bubble Bass, and Chovy jump in, all wearing spiked collars and barking like dogs.]''}}
{{L|SpongeBob and Sandy|''[scared noises]''}}
{{L|Squidward|Now, back to work!}}
{{L|''[SpongeBob, Patrick, and Sandy run away.]''}}
{{L|Sandy|''[to Mo, Harvey, and an anchovy]'' The cheese has slipped off his cracker. Pass it on.}}
{{L|''[That night, the Squid Guard are still patrolling outside. A pink camper looks out from under a cabin.]''}}
{{L|Camper|Huh? ''[runs up stairs]'' D'yoo! ''[stomps on floorboard]'' The cheese has slipped off his cracker. ''[falls through floor]'' Whoop!}}
{{L|''[Many of the campers have gathered underneath the cabin, around a lantern.]''}}
{{L|Sandy|Campers of the revolution, it's time to take our camp back.}}
{{L|Patrick|Revolution? I thought we were here for cheese and crackers...}}
{{L|Harvey|All the campers are fed up with Squidward's ironfisted rule!}}
{{L|Sandy|Don't worry! I have a plan that'll free us all, but I'm gonna need y'all's help! ''[pulls them together]''}}
{{L|French Narrator|''[over time card]'' The next morning...}}
{{L|''[Squidward overlooks the camp and sees someone carrying something and running to the flagpole.]''}}
{{L|Squidward|Aha! There's a loyal Squamper raising my glorious flag.}}
{{L|''[It's Patrick, who waves to Squidward and unfurls the flag.]''}}
{{L|Squidward|Patrick, of all my Squampers, I didn't think you would remember my flag. Raise it high so everyone can see their illustrious leader.}}
{{L|''[Patrick gestures to the flag, then throws it on the ground. He stomps on it and rubs it between his legs.]''}}
{{L|Patrick|Kamp Koral rules! Camp Squidward drools!}}
{{L|Squidward|What!? I'll show you who drools! ''[blows whistle]''}}
{{L|''[The Squid Guard reappear.]''}}
{{L|Patrick|''[screams and runs, then hides behind the cafe.]''}}
{{L|SpongeBob|''[holding ball]'' Who wants it? Who wants the ball?}}
{{L|Squid Guard|''[panting]''}}
{{L|SpongeBob|Fetch!}}
{{L|''[They dive after the ball and land in the lake. Squidward uses a spyglass to survey the camp.]''}}
{{L|Squidward|Hmm. Now, where did they go? ''[looks in spyglass]'' Huh? ''[sees flowers with a "No" symbol over Squidward's face]'' My flower bed? ''[sees his outhouse demolished]'' My powder room! ''[sees his statue with a clown wig and makeup]'' ''My statue!'' ''[growls]'' How dare they? My camp! Someone's going to pay!}}
{{L|''[He hears clarinet music and looks for the source. His clarinet is playing "Pop Goes the Weasel" behind the general store.]''}}
{{L|Squidward|My clarinet! You monsters! ''[runs behind the general store]'' Yaah! Gotcha! ''[nobody is there]'' What?}}
{{L|''[The clarinet plays inside a clam. Squidward chases it, but it plays inside a piece of coral. He chases it, but it again appears behind some kelp. It plays inside a cabin, but when he tries to approach it, the door slams in his face.]''}}
{{L|Squidward|''[bangs on door]'' Give me my clarinet!}}
{{L|''[The clarinet plays the SpongeBob theme song. Squidward sees it on a pile of leaves.]''}}
{{L|Squidward|''[picks it up]'' My baby! ''[hugs it, then notices the ground crackling]'' Uh-oh. ''[falls]'' Aaah!}}
{{L|Sandy|''[twirling lasso]'' We finally caught us a tyrant.}}
{{L|''[The Squid Guard, SpongeBob, Patrick, and Sandy look down in the hole and laugh.]''}}
{{L|Squidward|Uh-- ''[chuckles]'' Maybe I went a little too far?}}
{{L|Patrick|Not as far as you're gonna go! ''[laughs]''}}
{{L|''[Squidward has been tied up and placed in a catapult outside the camp.]''}}
{{L|SpongeBob|"A" for effort, Mr. Tentacles!}}
{{L|Sandy|But fail on the follow-through. Camp Squidward ends in 3, 2--}}
{{L|Krabs|''[off-screen]'' Wait!}}
{{L|''[Krabs, Nurse Helga, Mrs. Puff, and Plankton, all in hospital gowns, run up.]''}}
{{L|Krabs|What in blazes is going on here? Plankton, get up there and untie Counselor Squidward! ''[throws him]''}}
{{L|Plankton|Whoa! ''[unties Squidward]'' There you go.}}
{{L|''[Squidward leaps into Krabs' lap.]''}}
{{L|Squidward|Oh, thank you! Thank you! ''[crying]''}}
{{L|Krabs|''[pats his back]'' There, there. This happens every time I put a camper in charge. Whew, let us never forget the horrors of Camp Bubble Bass.}}
{{L|''[Cut to a desert landscape with a Bubble Bass Sphinx and a statue of two legs, as a bird squawks.]''}}
{{L|Krabs|Alright, enough of this nonsense! Kamp Koral is back in business!}}
{{L|''[The sign flips from "Kamp Squidward" to "Kamp Koral." The campers cheer.]''}}
{{L|Campers|Hooray!}}
{{L|Krabs|''[picks up catapult string]'' Oh, Plankton...}}
{{L|Plankton|What?}}
{{L|Krabs|This is for the food poisoning!}}
{{L|Plankton|Wait! ''[gets flung]'' Ahh! ''[burns up from the sun]''}}
{{L|''[Krabs takes a bow as the rest of the campers cheer.]''}}