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{{CTranscript}}
{{EpisodeTranscript}}
 
{{L|''[The camera zooms in on SpongeBob sitting sobbing in the area between his pineapple and Squidward's house. He lies down face-down and his tears send him up and down off the ground. He goes back to normal sobbing while sitting, he then bends his top half in towards his bottom half. Patrick walks up, picks SpongeBob up, and gives him a hug.]''}}
{{ITranscript}}
{{L|Patrick|There, there, SpongeBob. No need to cry.}}
 
{{L|SpongeBob|''[He pops off Patrick's shoulder]'' Yes, there is, Patrick. Sandy's been gone for two whole days.}}
[''view of Patrick’s rock, Squidward and SpongeBob’s home. Zoom in to Spongebob bawling, sitting in the area between his pineapple and Squidward’s home. Patrick walks up and picks Spongebob up, holding him over his shoulder'']<br />'''Patrick:''' [''patting Spongebob’s back''] There, there, Spongebob. No need to cry.<br />[''view of the back of Patrick’s head and shoulder, Spongebob pops his head up off of Patrick'']<br />'''Spongebob:''' Yes there is, Patrick. [''Spongebob turns so that his body faces forward and his eyes line up with Patrick’s, who is still holding him up''] Sandy’s been gone for two whole days! [''Patrick drops him'']<br />'''Patrick:''' Two whole days?! [his eyes pop out from their sockets and he begins to wail, camera zooms out to show Spongebob standing next to him]<br />Spongebob: Oh, why’d she have to go to that science convention in Tejas?<br />Patrick: Tejas!<br />Spongebob: [sniffs, lifts left arm and looks at his watch] She won’t be back for one more hour, twenty-six minutes and forty-seven seconds.<br />Patrick: Oh, forty-seven seconds! [Spongebob and Patrick begin to cry tears back and fourth into each other’s faces several times, zoom to Patrick] Oh, I miss her so much; her tentacles [waves arms, zoom back out to show Spongebob], the way she plays clarinet - her massive nose! [a nose like Squidward’s pops onto his face, Patrick’s arms in the air as if pointing to it]<br />Spongebob: Patrick, that’s Squidward. [Patrick’s Squidward-like nose disappears] He’s not gone, he’s right here. [He points to the left. Pan to show Squidward next to him, planting a flower]<br />Squidward: [looks at Spongebob] No, I’m not. [He drops the flower into the ground. Camera zooms out to show Squidward’s house and part of Spongebob’s, Pat and Bob still in the area between the two houses. Squidward stands and walks into his home, slamming the door behind him. Zoom back to Spongebob and Patrick]<br />Spongebob: I sure do miss that squirrel. [sniff] Her karate chopping, [does chopping motion with his left arm] that ten gallon glass dome over her dome [lifts arms, partly shaping a circle around his head. Zoom to just Spongebob‘s face, smiling slightly]. And who can forget those buck teeth? [his buck teeth show, sparkling. Zoom back to Pat and Bob] After Sandy gets back, we’re gonna let her know just how much we miss her!<br />Patrick: [scratching head, confused] Is Sandy the one I call ‘mom’?<br />Spongebob: No, Patrick, that’s your mother. [appears to cheer up] But that does give me an idea! We'll throw Sandy the mother of welcome home parties! Patrick, to the treedome! [runs off, distorted trumpet fanfare plays]<br />Patrick: Wa-hey! [runs after Spongbob]<br />[Bubbles transition the screen to a view of Sandy’s dome-house. Zoom to the entrance, Spongebob and Patrick sneaking near it. Spongebob twirls the handle open and the two run in. View of Spongebob and Patrick painting on a blue banner with white paint, Spongebob writing from left to right, Patrick the opposite - they run out of space on the banner, and it reads “WELCOMANDY“. Balloons transition to the next screen, Patrick breathing in deeply. He holds an uninflated balloon to the fishbowl around his head and tries to blow it up, failing. He gasps for air and Spongebob walks over, knocking on Patrick‘s bowl to get his attention. Zoom out to the two of them, Sandy‘s tree behind Spongebob. Spongebob points up, Patrick looks to that direction. A ground-view of the tree‘s leaves is shown, Patrick and Spongebob appear from the leaves, jumping out and holding balloons. The balloons fill with air as they float down. They stop, floating in midair just above the ground and start to kick their legs trying to reach it. Balloons float across the screen, transitioning to Spongebob icing a cake which reads ‘WELCOME HOME SANDY!‘.]<br />Spongebob: [satisfied] Ah! <br />[A zoom of the cake is shown, two red hearts on either side of the word ‘WELCOME‘ decorate the cake. Zoom out to show Spongebob, setting the icing down. The cake is missing from the tray. Spongebob gasps - pan to show Patrick next to him, his bowl sitting on the table with his hand resting in it as he chews. He notices Spongebob glaring at him and pulls the cake out of his mouth - rather than it‘s former round shape, it is in the shape of Texas. He sets it back on the tray. ]<br />Spongebob: Huh?<br />[Veiw of the cake. The two red hearts are at the top of the Texas-shaped cake, followed by the words ‘Welcome Home Sandy’ written in cursive. The ‘y’ in ‘Sandy’ curls down to a waving Spongebob and Patrick decoration. Zoom back out to Spongebob and Patrick, the two smile. Another bubble-transition to Patrick and Spongebob pulling ropes - a zoom out reveals that it was to hang a blue “WELCOME ‘DOME’ SANDY’ banner in the branches of the tree. A sign points out from the top of the tree that reads “WE MISSED YOU!in green letters on what appears to be wood. Various colored balloons are hung in the tree’s branches (a group is tied to the end of Sandy’s picnic table)  as well as pink banners. Zoom to Spongebob.]<br />Spongebob: We’ve readied this place for Sandy’s arrival [looks to watch, camera pans slightly to the right as Patrick walks over] which should be about - WHOO! [he points toward the door] Right now! [A view of the entrance to the treedome is shown as is a road in front of it. A red bus pulls up and stops, the door opens and Sandy walks out, carrying a blue suitcase. Patrick and Spongebob run out from the treedome, flinging the door off the entrance. They stop in front of Sandy]<br />Spongebob:  [singing, arms in the air] Welcome home Sandy, you know that we missed ya’! [jumps onto Sandy, holding on to her helmet]<br />Bus driver: No! [a view of the bus’ is shown, a green fish wearing a blue-green hat sits at the wheel covering his ears] No one wants to hear you sing! [Zoom to Sandy, Spongebob still hanging onto her helmet]<br />Sandy: Sorry, Spongebob. [she looks towards the bus] He’s got a fierce ‘no-singing’ policy.<br />Spongebob: [he points a finger towards Sandy, smiling] It’s quite alright, Miss Cheeks, as long you don’t have a fierce ‘no-partying’ policy! [Sandy laughs. A view of the entrance from inside the treedome is shown as Patrick and Spongebob lead Sandy inside, Spongebob holding onto her arm] First, cake! Then we’ll karate-chop, and then -<br />Sandy: Wow, guys! [A view of the tree and decorations is shown] You two - ah [she scratches at her neck, all of her suit but her helmet is on] really know [she scratches the back of her head]  how to - ah! [scratches her neck again, zoom out to show all three of them]<br />Spongebob: I knew it! [Zoom to him and Sandy, who is still itching her neck] You have been itching to see us! [View of the trio]<br />Sandy: Well, something’s making my skin crawl.<br />Spongebob: Maybe a slice of cake will take your mind off of your crawling hide.<br />[Bubbles float across the screen, transitioning to a view of the trio sitting at Sandy’s picnic table; Sandy on the side closest to the camera, Spongebob and Patrick on the opposite side]<br />Spongebob: Patrick and I made this cake especially for your return. [Zoom to Spongebob and Patrick. Spongebob passes a slice of the cake to Patrick]<br />Patrick: This is gonna taste so good again.<br />Spongebob: Dig in, Sandy! [Zoom to just Sandy, who is scratching her back with a fork. Spongebob and Patrick are shown again.] Uh… [Zoom to Sandy.]<br />Sandy: Looks … tasty, Spongebob! [Pat &amp; Bob are shown.]<br />Spongebob: Are you okay, Sandy? [Pan to the right to show Sandy scratching her back on the table]<br />Sandy: I’m fine! My skin just hasn’t adjusted to this here underwater air. [Sandy’s fur begins to be pulled out with her scratching, it floats onto Spongebob’s plate and slice of cake. He moves the plate away with his fork, looking disgusted; he looks over to Patrick and the camera pans to show him combing the hair on his cake, formed into a moustache and hairdo. View of the three again, Sandy still scratching her back.]<br />Spongebob: [still watching Patrick comb his cake] Uh, hey Sandy … Sandy! [he pokes her back, and holds up a pink box with a red ribbon on it] Surprise! [He sets it on the table] Patrick and I chipped in and got ya’ a little something-something. [view of Sandy, back in her seat, now scratching herself with her hands]<br />Sandy: Aw, you guys, you shouldn’t have! [she rips the wrapping off of the box, and lifts up a purple snowboard] A new itch board - I mean, a new snowboard? [She is itching again] Boy, I sure can’t wait to scratch this down chafe mountain! [Veiw of Pat and Bob]<br />Spongebob: Don’t you mean ride this down Scab Mountain?
{{L|Patrick|Two whole days?! ''[tears pour out of his eyes like a hose as he begins to wail]''}}
[[Category:Episode transcripts]]
{{L|SpongeBob|Oh, why'd she have to go to that science convention in Texas?!}}
{{L|Patrick|Tejas! ''[sobbing]''}}
{{L|SpongeBob|''[sniffles, looks at his watch]'' She won't be back for 1 more hour, 26 minutes and 47 seconds!}}
{{L|Patrick|Oh, 47 seconds! ''[SpongeBob and Patrick cry tears in each others faces]'' I miss Sandy so much. Her tentacles, ''[waves his arms]'' the way she plays clarinet, her massive nose! ''[a nose like Squidward's pops onto his face]''}}
{{L|SpongeBob|Patrick, that's Squidward. ''[Patrick's Squidward-like nose disappears]'' He's not gone, he's right here. ''[pan over to Squidward planting a flower]''}}
{{L|Squidward|''[He is shown wearing a gardening hat and holding a shovel and holding a flower in one hand and a trowel in the other. He is also digging a hole. He finishes digging the hole and looks at SpongeBob.]'' No, I'm not. ''[drops the flower into the ground and walks into his home, slamming the door behind him in annoyance]''}}
{{L|SpongeBob|I sure do miss that squirrel. ''[sniff]'' Her karate chopping, ''[karate chops ground]'' that ten-gallon glass dome over her dome. And who can forget those buck teeth? ''[his buck teeth come together and sparkle. They return to normal]'' After Sandy gets back, we're gonna let her know just how much we miss her.}}
{{L|Patrick|Is Sandy the one I call Mom?}}
{{L|SpongeBob|No, Patrick, that's your mother. But that does give me an idea. We'll throw Sandy the mother of all welcome home parties! Patrick, to the treedome! ''[runs off, distorted trumpet fanfare plays]''}}
{{L|Patrick|Wa-hey! ''[Patrick runs after SpongeBob.]''}}
{{L|''[The scene changes to show Sandy's house. SpongeBob and Patrick sneak into it with party supplies. SpongeBob twirls the handle open and the two run in and start painting on a blue banner with light blue paint. SpongeBob writes from left to right, and Patrick does the opposite. They run out of space on the banner, and it reads "WELCOMANDY." Balloons rise up, transitioning to Patrick inhaling deeply. He holds an un-inflated balloon to his water helmet and tries to blow it up, failing. SpongeBob walks over, knocking on Patrick's Helmet to get his attention. He looks up at the tree. Patrick and SpongeBob jump out of the tree holding balloons. The balloons fill with air as the two float down. They stop, floating in mid-air just above the ground and start to kick their legs trying to reach it. There is another balloon transition to SpongeBob icing a cake which reads "WELCOME HOME SANDY!"]''}}
{{L|SpongeBob|Ah. ''[cake is shown, with two red hearts on the both sides of the of the word "Home." SpongeBob sets the icing down. The cake is missing from the tray and SpongeBob gasps. Patrick is next to him eating the cake. His water helmet is sitting on the table. He notices SpongeBob glaring at him, pulls the cake out of his mouth and sets it on the tray. The cake is now in the shape of Texas]'' Huh? ''[View of the cake. The two red hearts are at the top of the Texas-shaped cake, above the words "Welcome Home Sandy!" written in cursive. The 'y' in 'Sandy' curls down to a waving SpongeBob and Patrick decoration. The two smile, SpongeBob has a "good job" type smile and Patrick has a reluctant smile. There is another balloon transition to Patrick and SpongeBob pulling ropes to hang a blue "WELCOME 'DOME' SANDY" banner in the branches of the tree. A wooden sign points out from the top of the tree that reads "WE MISSED YOU!" Balloons are hung in the tree's branches as well as pink banners.]'' We've readied this place for Sandy's arrival, which should be in about... ''[He looks at his watch]'' ...Whoo! Right now! ''[The normal submarine-like bus comes down the road, pulls up to Sandy's house and stops. The door opens and Sandy walks out, carrying a suitcase. Patrick and SpongeBob run out from the treedome and stop in front of Sandy. SpongeBob sings]'' Welcome home, Sandy, you know that we missed ya!}}
{{L|Incidental 41|''[off-screen]'' No! ''[on-screen]'' No one wants to hear you sing!}}
{{L|Sandy|Sorry, SpongeBob, he's got a fierce no-singing policy. ''[bus drives off]''}}
{{L|SpongeBob|That's quite alright, Miss Cheeks. As long you don't have a fierce no-partying policy! ''[Sandy giggles. The three go inside the treedome]'' First, cake, then we'll karate-chop, and then...}}
{{L|Sandy|''[She notices the decorations the two had put up earlier]'' Wow, guys! You two, uh... ''[she scratches her neck. All but her helmet is off]'' Really know how to, uh.. ''[scratches her back]'' Throw a party.}}
{{L|SpongeBob|I knew it! You have been itching to see us!}}
{{L|Sandy|Well, something's making my skin crawl.}}
{{L|SpongeBob|Maybe a slice of cake will take your mind off of your crawling hide. ''[The scene changes to show the three at the picnic table with cake.]'' Patrick and I made this cake especially for your return. ''[SpongeBob passes a slice of the cake to Patrick]''}}
{{L|Patrick|This is gonna taste so good again.}}
{{L|SpongeBob|Dig in, Sandy! ''[Sandy is scratching her back with a fork]'' Uh...}}
{{L|Sandy|Looks... Tasty, SpongeBob.}}
{{L|SpongeBob|''[He drops his fork]'' Are you okay, Sandy?}}
{{L|Sandy|I'm fine! My skin just hasn't adjusted to this here underwater air. ''[Sandy's fur begins to be pulled out with her scratching, it floats onto SpongeBob's plate and slice of cake. He moves the plate away with his fork, looking disgusted. He looks over to Patrick and sees him combing the hair on his cake, formed into a mustache and hairdo]''}}
{{L|SpongeBob|Uh.. Hey, Sandy. Sandy. ''[he pokes her back, and holds up a pink box with a red ribbon on it]'' Surprise! ''[He sets it on the table]'' Patrick and I chipped in and got ya a little somethin' somethin'.}}
{{L|Sandy|Aww, guys, you shouldn't have. ''[she rips the wrapping and lid off of the box, and lifts up a purple sandboard]'' A new itch board? I mean, a new snowboard? Boy, I sure can't wait to scratch this down chafe mountain.}}
{{L|SpongeBob|Don't you mean ride this down Scab Mountain?}}
{{L|Sandy|Thank you very rawness, SpongeBob and Pat.}}
{{L|SpongeBob|Uh, you're welcome, Sandy. Hey, uh, are you still up for some karate chops?}}
{{L|Sandy|''[Still scratching her neck]'' Rashy sore! I mean, sure.}}
{{L|SpongeBob|''[The scene changes to show SpongeBob and Sandy in their karate gear]'' Ya ready? ''[Sandy scratches her back with her karate gloves on]'' And how 'bout now? You ready?}}
{{L|Sandy|''[Sandy gets on the floor and scratches her head like a dog, then gets up and scratches her arm]'' Creepin' critters! Feels like somethin's bitin' me. ''[She looks at her arm closely, her eyes move back and forth, she spots a flea. The flea is biting Sandy's skin. The flea looks up and screeches]'' I've got a flea? Well, I ain't gonna take that without a fight! ''[She karate chops her arm]'' Hi...yah! ''[The flea jumps off Sandy's arm and lands on her leg]'' I'll get ya! ''[She chops her leg three times and tosses her gloves away. She starts biting her leg. SpongeBob and Patrick stare at her, then look at each other. Sandy scratches her leg and her back with her hands, then turns over to scratch her back. SpongeBob walks over]'' SpongeBob, my suitcase! Hurry! ''[SpongeBob brings over a blue suitcase. Sandy opens it]'' I'm ashamed to say this, SpongeBob, but while I was in Texas, I seem to have picked up a flea. ''[She digs around for something]''}}
{{L|SpongeBob|What's a flea?}}
{{L|Sandy|A flea is a dastardly little vermin that bites us air breathers. But this here flea collar will send the critter a-runnin'. ''[Flea jumps off Sandy and lands on SpongeBob's hand. The flea screeches]''}}
{{L|SpongeBob|''[laughs]'' He tickles! Oh, this isn't so bad! ''[flea bites him]'' Ow! ''[gasps]'' He bit me! Got any more of those fancy collars, Sandy?}}
{{L|Sandy|No, but you can use this one right quick. ''[She puts the collar on SpongeBob's wrist. The flea jumps off SpongeBob and lands on Patrick's belly]''}}
{{L|Patrick|Ow! Ah, ooh, ow, ooh, ah, yah, aah! ''[Breathes heavily and then laughs]'' Connect the dots. ''[pulls out a pencil and draws lines between the bite marks]'' I drawed a horsey. ''[we see the "horse" he drew for a moment and the flea still bites him]'' Ouch! Why does this flea keep biting me?}}
{{L|Sandy|'Cause he's hungry. When a flea bites ya, it's 'cause he's sucking up your blood for nutrition.}}
{{L|Patrick|I've been bit by a vampire flea! ''[He looks up into the air]'' No! ''[kneels and looks down]'' I'm gonna turn into a vampire now! ''[lies on the ground and starts pulling out grass]'' It's already happening! Ah, ah! ''[growls, blows raspberry, his tongue goes around his mouth, then opens and closes mouth and has a squirrel nose]''}}
{{L|Sandy|Patrick, ''[Patrick's nose disappears]'' there ain't no such thing as vampires.}}
{{L|Patrick|''[scratches side like a dog]'' Augh! Doesn't matter! ''[Grabs flea collar off SpongeBob]'' Oh, this itch is killing me! Yagh! ''[puts the collar on like a belt. The flea jumps off Patrick screeching and lands back on Sandy. She starts scratching]''}}
{{L|Sandy|Aah! Gimme that! ''[She takes the collar and puts it on her neck]'' Phew! ''[The flea jumps back on SpongeBob and goes under his tie]''}}
{{L|SpongeBob|Nyahh! Oh! Sandy, please! Help me! ''[Scratches]''}}
{{L|Sandy|''[holds onto the collar]'' I need this!}}
{{L|SpongeBob|I need it more! ''[takes the collar and wears it like a belt. The flea jumps of of him and onto Patrick.]''}}
{{L|Patrick|Eee! ''[He grabs the collar]''}}
{{L|Sandy|Yah! ''[The flea jumps and goes in Sandy's nose. At this point, the flea passes by both eyes and scratches the inside. Sandy screams and takes the collar. They all fight for it and at one point, Patrick throws SpongeBob aside. Sandy is exhausted from scratching. Then, the flea lays eggs. The eggs hatch and two fleas emerge screeching. The three fleas jump off of Sandy's head. The fleas land on SpongeBob and he spins around on the floor scratching]'' Enough! I will not take this anymore! ''[She wraps the collar around SpongeBob, Patrick, and herself]'' Whatcha gonna do now, punks? ''[The fleas jump off of them]'' Looky, it worked! Phew. I'm glad that's over.}}
{{L|SpongeBob|Um, is that what over looks like? ''[points to an increasing amount of fleas]''}}
{{L|Sandy|Tarnation! They're multiplyin' like mad! ''[The flea "pile" comes over and eats away the flea collar. Sandy, SpongeBob, and Patrick scream]'' Run!}}
{{L|SpongeBob and Patrick|Okay! ''[A flea "cannon" shoots flea "cannonballs." They hit the glass and go back into a pile. The "cannon" shoots "cannonballs" at the three but they dodge them]''}}
{{L|Patrick|Wah!}}
{{L|SpongeBob|Whoa!}}
{{L|Sandy|Hey! ''["cannonballs" hit the glass and the flea pile grows bigger]'' Y'all got the aim of a cross-eyed armadilla! ''[the flea pile grows even bigger and makes the shape of an ocean wave. The three scream]'' Run again!}}
{{L|SpongeBob & Patrick|Okay! ''[The flea wave hits the three of them. SpongeBob looks at his arms and they swell with flea bites. Sandy and Patrick swell, too.]''}}
{{L|SpongeBob|Aah!}}
{{L|Patrick|Mraah!}}
{{L|Sandy|Aah!}}
{{L|SpongeBob|Uh, thanks for having us, Sandy, but we gotta go!}}
{{L|Patrick|Yeah, good to see ya. ''[They run toward the door, but a flea tornado beats them there. The tornado then chases after them]''}}
{{L|SpongeBob and Patrick|Raah! ''[Squidward is seen walking and listening to some music]'' Help! Help! Help!}}
{{L|Squidward|Just ignore them, Squidward, and continue your power walk. Heel, toe, heel, toe, heel, toe, heel, toe.}}
{{L|Sandy|Back off! ''[Sandy is squishing the fleas by stepping on them, but they overpower her and run her over. SpongeBob and Patrick rush over]''}}
{{L|SpongeBob|Sandy! Oh, no! Are you okay? ''[Sandy gets up and spits out fleas]''}}
{{L|Sandy|Them varmints is tough. They're from Texas, phew!}}
{{L|Patrick|It's gonna be all right. ''[picks her up]'' We will help you. ''[Fleas come down like planes. SpongeBob and Patrick scream]'' Okay, you know what? None of this would have happened if you didn't come back with your infestation! All you've brought us is fleas and trouble and pain and itching and a rash! And pain and fleas and itching and... pain! So... much... pain! So much pain... ''[He looks at SpongeBob]'' And as for you! If you hadn't thrown this party, we wouldn't be in this mess!}}
{{L|SpongeBob|Wait a minute! You had as much to do with this party as I did!}}
{{L|Patrick|You call this a party? I'm beginning to question ''[He taps on SpongeBob's helmet]'' our friendship!}}
{{L|SpongeBob|Stop smudging my helmet!}}
{{L|Patrick|Oh, I've got half a mind, buddy!}}
{{L|Sandy|''[Gets between the two]'' Would you two men stop yelling at each other?! ''[Pushes them to the ground]'' What does that prove?! If we're gonna get out of this, we gotta work together.}}
{{L|Patrick|You're right. I have an idea. SpongeBob, you get on Sandy's shoulders. ''[SpongeBob does so]'' Uh-huh. Good. Now, I'll get on top of you...! ''[Straining to get on top of SpongeBob's shoulders. He sits down]'' Ah... ''[Munches on an apple, then burps]'' Ahhh... Much better. ''[the "tower" topples over]'' Whoa!}}
{{L|Sandy|''[annoyed at Patrick's stupidity]'' I do not play games! ''[The fleas assemble to make an evil face, then laugh maniacally. SpongeBob and Patrick hold each other in fright]'' Quick! Get in the tree house! It's the only safe place left. ''[Shuts the door behind her]'' We should be protected here. ''[SpongeBob and Patrick look shocked as the tree house rumbles and shakes and fleas enter through the window]'' Hold on! ''[Sandy throws an acorn on a button labeled "Emergency Escape Hatch." The floor opens and leads them back outside. Fleas start to take over the treedome, and break the picnic table, and start to cover SpongeBob, Patrick, and Sandy]''}}
{{L|SpongeBob|Is this how we're gonna spend the rest of our lives? Living in fleas instead of water?}}
{{L|Sandy|''[Her mind pings with an idea]'' SpongeBob! That's it! Water! ''[She puts on her helmet and karate chops her way to the door. She opens it, and water starts to fill the dome. Patrick and SpongeBob start to cry. Their helmets come off]''}}
{{L|SpongeBob & Patrick|Water! ''[Fish are being sucked into the dome]''}}
{{L|SpongeBob|It sure is good to have you back, Sandy! ''[As the episode irises out, the ocean is empty, with all the citizens stuck in Sandy's treedome.]''}}

Latest revision as of 02:30, 11 July 2025