A Fool Schooled/transcript: Difference between revisions
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{{PatrickStarShow EpisodeTr}} | |||
{{PatrickStarShow EpisodeTr | |||
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{{L|''[Patrick bounces and drops onto his desk.]''}} | {{L|''[Patrick bounces and drops onto his desk.]''}} | ||
{{L|Patrick|Welcome back to ''The Patrick Show''. Next up, we have a little segment called ''[points]'' "You Can't Do That." ''[throws his desk to reveal he was on a diving board, the desk lands on the lawnies]'' Today, I'll be jumping from this diving board into that pitcher of water below.}} | {{L|Patrick|Welcome back to ''The Patrick Show''. Next up, we have a little segment called ''[points]'' "You Can't Do That." ''[throws his desk to reveal he was on a diving board, the desk lands on the lawnies]'' Today, I'll be jumping from this diving board into that pitcher of water below.}} | ||
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{{L|Squidina|And we only got one letter. [holds letter, chuckles nervously]'' So let's hope it's good. ''[Patrick strains to get the pitcher off of his head; opens a letter]'' It's from the Bikini Bottom Bureau of Education.}} | {{L|Squidina|And we only got one letter. [holds letter, chuckles nervously]'' So let's hope it's good. ''[Patrick strains to get the pitcher off of his head; opens a letter]'' It's from the Bikini Bottom Bureau of Education.}} | ||
{{L|Lawnies|Ohh?}} | {{L|Lawnies|Ohh?}} | ||
{{L| | {{L|Squidina|"Dear Patrick Star, this is to inform you that you never passed behavioral skills in kindergarten"? "We suggest you complete your education right away and debit from any current professional activity such as surgery, emergency rescue, and TV hosting." ''[rips letter in half]'' TV hosting?}} | ||
{{L|Lawnies|They can't do that!}} | {{L|Lawnies|They can't do that!}} | ||
{{L|Squidina|''[reading half of letter]'' It says here they can. ''[holds up both halves with her hands]'' "Since you're older than the average kindergartner, we recommend that you be homeschooled"?}} | {{L|Squidina|''[reading half of letter]'' It says here they can. ''[holds up both halves with her hands]'' "Since you're older than the average kindergartner, we recommend that you be homeschooled"?}} | ||
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{{L|Granny Tentacles|''[holds up her hand]'' For 20 Bucks! ''[Patrick gives her a dollar bill]'' Hmm. ''[sniffs the dollar and puts it under her shirt]'' All right, big boy, what'll it be?}} | {{L|Granny Tentacles|''[holds up her hand]'' For 20 Bucks! ''[Patrick gives her a dollar bill]'' Hmm. ''[sniffs the dollar and puts it under her shirt]'' All right, big boy, what'll it be?}} | ||
{{L|Patrick|I'll take everything!}} | {{L|Patrick|I'll take everything!}} | ||
{{L| | {{L|Bunny|Uh, uh, uh. You forgot the magic words.}} | ||
{{L|Patrick|''[gasps]'' Oh, yeah. With cheese?}} | {{L|Patrick|''[gasps]'' Oh, yeah. With cheese?}} | ||
{{L|Granny | {{L|Granny Tentacles|Ah, close enough.}} | ||
{{L|''[Granny Tentacles gives Patrick all of the food.]''}} | {{L|''[Granny Tentacles gives Patrick all of the food.]''}} | ||
{{L|Patrick|''[laughs as he sits at a table and eats the food with his hands]''}} | {{L|Patrick|''[laughs as he sits at a table and eats the food with his hands]''}} | ||
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{{L|''[Patrick opens the door, crushing GrandPat.]''}} | {{L|''[Patrick opens the door, crushing GrandPat.]''}} | ||
{{L|Patrick|Wait, Sir Got It! How many times do I knock?}} | {{L|Patrick|Wait, Sir Got It! How many times do I knock?}} | ||
{{L| | {{L|GrandPat|''[weakly]'' Twice.}} | ||
{{L|Patrick|Okay. ''[uses GrandPat's tongue to knock on the door]'' One, two.}} | {{L|Patrick|Okay. ''[uses GrandPat's tongue to knock on the door]'' One, two.}} | ||
{{L| | {{L|GrandPat|''[breaks free, grunts and gets in front of Patrick]'' Now, what is the appropriate way to greet an elder?}} | ||
{{L|Patrick|Um... ''[grabs GrandPat and shakes him]'' What's shaking, old timer?}} | {{L|Patrick|Um... ''[grabs GrandPat and shakes him]'' What's shaking, old timer?}} | ||
{{L|''[Patrick slaps GrandPat's back so hard, his hat, eyes, and teeth come out]''}} | {{L|''[Patrick slaps GrandPat's back so hard, his hat, eyes, and teeth come out]''}} | ||
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{{L|''[Patrick kicks the ball straight into Incidental 186, sending him into space, and laughs. Incidental 186 goes out into space and crashes into a satellite and falls back to earth with an explosion. He comes back with satellite parts on his arms, and falls over.]''}} | {{L|''[Patrick kicks the ball straight into Incidental 186, sending him into space, and laughs. Incidental 186 goes out into space and crashes into a satellite and falls back to earth with an explosion. He comes back with satellite parts on his arms, and falls over.]''}} | ||
{{L|Patrick|Anyone else wants to play? ''[everyone else mutters and scream as they run]'' You're it! ''[throws ball to Nat and his butt moves to his front]'' You're it! ''[throws the ball to the old lady and her teeth fly out and ended in a kid's mouth; laughs and throws the ball to Tina and two other fish as they get knocked over like bowling pins]'' You're it! ''[throws the ball to the screen and it breaks, then laughs]''}} | {{L|Patrick|Anyone else wants to play? ''[everyone else mutters and scream as they run]'' You're it! ''[throws ball to Nat and his butt moves to his front]'' You're it! ''[throws the ball to the old lady and her teeth fly out and ended in a kid's mouth; laughs and throws the ball to Tina and two other fish as they get knocked over like bowling pins]'' You're it! ''[throws the ball to the screen and it breaks, then laughs]''}} | ||
{{L|Squidina|Okay, let's see here. ''[ | {{L|Squidina|Okay, let's see here. ''[sees the Lawnies in pain with trees around them on fire]''}} | ||
{{L|Patrick|It is I, Patrick, ravager of playtime, conqueror of recess!]}} | {{L|Patrick|''[comes up with an anchovy as a scarf]'' It is I, Patrick, ravager of playtime, conqueror of recess!]}} | ||
{{L| | {{L|Anchovy|Meep.}} | ||
{{L|Squidina|Patrick, how can anyone fail recess?}} | {{L|Squidina|Patrick, how can anyone fail recess?}} | ||
{{L|Patrick|Ugh. So I got one F. What about the rest of my grades?}} | {{L|Patrick|Ugh. So I got one F. What about the rest of my grades?}} | ||
{{L|Squidina|Well, the F was actually your highest grade. The rest were | {{L|Squidina|Well, the F was actually your highest grade. ''[shows the grades on her clipboard]'' The rest were Z's. ''[pan down to show a drawn wild sea monkey eating an arm]'' You're basically a wild animal. ''[Patrick literally does the drawing pose by biting his arm]''}} | ||
{{L|''[Bunny, Cecil, and GrandPat shake their heads.]''}} | |||
{{L|Squidina|''[hangs her head and sighs]''}} | |||
{{L|''[Fade to the Star family driving through the kelp forest at night.]''}} | |||
{{L|Patrick|Hey, where are we going?}} | {{L|Patrick|Hey, where are we going?}} | ||
{{L|Cecil|D- | {{L|Cecil|D-D-D-Don't worry, son. We're almost there.}} | ||
{{L|Squidina| | {{L|Squidina|Sorry, Patrick. We just can't keep you. You're not domesticated.}} | ||
{{L|''[ | {{L|Patrick|''[sniffs like a dog and gets into the mud]''}} | ||
{{L|Bunny|This is your natural habitat. You'll be free here. You'll love it.}} | {{L|Bunny|This is your natural habitat. You'll be free here. ''[Patrick uses his tongue to clean his face like an animal]'' You'll love it.}} | ||
{{L|Cecil|I'm sorry, son. Y- | {{L|Cecil|''[all three crying]'' I'm sorry, son. Y-You're just not fit to live among us civilized folk.}} | ||
{{L| | {{L|Patrick|''[whimpers like a dog]''}} | ||
{{L|Squidina|Just go! | {{L|Squidina|Just go! ''[throws a rock onto Patrick's head]''}} | ||
{{L|Patrick|Okay! ''[laughs wildly away]''}} | |||
{{L|Patrick| Okay! ''[ | {{L|''[Squidina whimpers as the car drives away, leaving Patrick alone as eyes pop out from the trees.]''}} | ||
{{L|Cecil|Huh-- What the? ''[ | {{L|Patrick|Hm?}} | ||
{{L|Bunny|What a gentleman and handsome too.}} | {{L|''[Cut to black, then back to the Star house, and Patrick is seen returning home to open the car door.]''}} | ||
{{L|Squidina, Cecil, and Bunny|''[ | {{L|Cecil|Huh-- ''[Patrick holds out his hand]'' What the? ''[Patrick is seen wearing fancy clothes]'' Patrick? But, how did you-- ''[Patrick grabs Cecil, dances with him, and wipes his head; rolls red carpet from his mouth in front of the door]''}} | ||
{{L|Bunny| | {{L|Bunny|''[as the Star family walks inside]'' Wow, thank you. What a gentleman, ''[tugs on Patrick's cheek]'' and handsome too.}} | ||
{{L|Cecil|Well, in light of these recent developments, a new grade in order... if you can pass the final test. ''[Patrick digs in the litterbox and grabs a toilet]'' He's housebroken. ''[Patrick grabs | {{L|Squidina, Cecil, and Bunny|Oh ''[they see the house is clean]''}} | ||
{{L|''[ | {{L|Bunny| ''[gasps]'' You cleaned the whole house!}} | ||
{{L|Squidina|Oh, congratulations, big brother. Now we can do your show again!}} | {{L|Cecil|Well, in light of these recent developments, ''[holds up his clipboard]'' a new grade in order... if you can pass the final test. ''[Patrick digs in the litterbox and grabs a toilet]'' He's housebroken. ''[Patrick grabs a bathroom stall door and flushes]'' A-plus.}} | ||
{{L|Bunny| But how did you learn to behave so quickly?}} | {{L|''[Patrick comes out of the door.]''}} | ||
{{L|''[Three | {{L|Squidina|''[hugs Patrick]'' Oh, congratulations, big brother. Now we can do your show again!}} | ||
{{L| | {{L|Bunny|But how did you learn to behave so quickly?}} | ||
{{L| | {{L|''[Three sea werewolves outside are seen.]''}} | ||
{{L|''[The | {{L|Mother werewolf|Oh, do you think he'll be all right? He was pretty wild when we got him.}} | ||
{{L|Father werewolf|We taught him well. He needs to be with his own kind now.}} | |||
{{L|''[The werewolves leave.]''}} | |||
{{L|Cecil|Time for bed. Good night, everyone.}} | {{L|Cecil|Time for bed. Good night, everyone.}} | ||
{{L|Star family|Good night.}} | {{L|Star family|Good night. ''[the lights inside the house turn off]''}} | ||
{{L|''[Patrick climbs to the top of the house and howls at the moon.]''}} | {{L|''[Patrick climbs to the top of the house naked and howls at the moon.]''}} | ||
{{L|Granny Tentacles|Aw, shut up! ''[throws a shoe at Patrick to knock him over]''}} | {{L|Granny Tentacles|Aw, shut up! ''[throws a shoe at Patrick to knock him over]''}} | ||
[[Category:The Patrick Star Show episode transcripts]] | [[Category:The Patrick Star Show episode transcripts]] | ||
[[Category:The Patrick Star Show season 3 transcripts]] | [[Category:The Patrick Star Show season 3 transcripts]] | ||
Latest revision as of 00:57, 28 July 2025
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