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{{ITranscript}}
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{{EpisodeTr
{{EpisodeTranscript}}
|title = A Friendly Game
{{L|''[SpongeBob's alarm rings, his house blows toward Squidward's house, Squidward wakes up in dread, sand hands then cover the house's ears, then SpongeBob, in brown plaid, poses for one second then runs to Patrick's house.]''}}
|titlecard = A Friendly Game.jpg
{{L|SpongeBob|Patrick! Tee time, Patrick! Patrick! ''[cuts to Squidward]'' Tee time, Patrick! ''[cuts to Patrick's house]'' Patrick! Wake up!}}
|seasonnumber = 8
{{L|Patrick|''[laughs]'' Ready to lose? Weather permitting, of course. ''[there is a rumbling sound then storm clouds move in and start rain and thunder]''}}
|episodenumber = 155a
{{L|SpongeBob|Aw, how are we supposed to golf in this downpour? Our putters are getting waterlogged. ''[twists his putter]''}}
|airdate = [[March 26]], [[2011]]
{{L|Patrick|Dumb rain! Doesn't it know I'm the sheriff in these parts? ''[points to sky with his putter]'' Hey, rain! You better stop that! ''[gets shocked by lightning then screams. Cuts to Squidward grumbling in annoyance and covers his head with a blanket]''}}
}}
{{L|Patrick|''[continues screaming then gets burned to ashes]'' Aah!}}
[SpongeBob's alarm rings, his house blows toward Squidward's house, Squidward wakes up in dread, sand hands then cover the house's ears, then SpongeBob, in brown plaid, poses for one second then runs to Patrick's house]
{{L|Squidward|''[opens the window]'' If you two don't mind, could you keep it down to a low rumble?}}
 
{{L|SpongeBob and Patrick|Sorry, Squidward.}}
•SpongeBob:Patrick! Tee time, Patrick! Patrick! ''[cut to Squidward]'' Tee time, Patrick! ''[cut to Patrick's house]'' Patrick! Wake up!
{{L|SpongeBob|I guess we were just too upset about the rain and how...}}
•Patrick:(laughs)Ready to lose?Weather permitting,of course.{There is a rumbling sound then storm clouds move in and start rain & thunder)
{{L|Squidward|Don't care. ''[closes the window, cuts to SpongeBob's house]''}}
 
{{L|SpongeBob|''[sighs]'' I was really looking forward to a day of sportsmanship and male bonding. Thanks a lot, rain! ''[slams his fist onto the table and makes his golf ball ricochet off of the door then Gary into Gary's food bowl]'' Say, ''[raises his finger]'' that gives me an idea. ''[a Brief Construction Montage time card appears]''}}
•Spongebob:Aw,how are we supposed to golf in this this downpour?Our putters are getting waterlogged.(twist putter)
{{L|French Narrator|What follows is a brief construction montage.}}
Patrick:Dumb rain!Doesn't anybody know I'm the sheriff in these parts?(points to sky with putter)Hey,rain!You better stop that! (Patrick gets shocked by lightning then screams)•Squidward:(grumbles & covers head with blanket)
{{L|''[The montage shows SpongeBob and Patrick hammering on boards, ripping a sofa, pouring sand, drilling holes, filling holes with water, making holes, and taking Gary's shell off. The Brief Construction Montage time card reappears.]''}}
 
{{L|French Narrator|We hope you enjoyed this brief construction montage.}}
•Patrick:(continues screaming then gets burned to ashes)
{{L|''[Cuts to outside of house, with sounds and SpongeBob's house shaking. Cuts to inside of Squidward's house.]''}}
 
{{L|Squidward|''[grumbles, then gets so angry as his sleep mask burns off, puts three pillows on a desk, ties them to his face with a rope, still hears them, then rips the pillows off and screams in a rage. He storms to SpongeBob's house with umbrella, cuts to inside, where SpongeBob and Patrick are constructing]'' Hey! Hello? Nitwit, morons. ''[Patrick accidentally hits Squidward with a hammer. At this point, he screams in anger and annoyance]''}}
•Squidward:(opens window)If you two don't mind,could you keep it down to a low rumble?•
{{L|SpongeBob|Oh, hi, Squidward. Up from your slumber, I see. Well, you're just in time to indulge in a friendly game of ''[shows course]'' indoor miniature golf!}}
Spongebob & Patrick:Sorry,Squidward.
{{L|Squidward|I will not indulge in anything friendly or otherwise with the likes of you two. And presently, I am heading back to enjoy a well-deserved morning nap.}}
 
{{L|Patrick|But we sculpted your likeness out of butter on hole five. ''[cuts to sculpture]''}}
•Spongebob:I guess we were just do upset about the rain and how-- •Squidward:Don't care.(closes window) (cuts to Spongebob's house)
{{L|Squidward|''[irritated]'' I don't care! Listen up, I will not be woken from my nap again, and if I am, I'm gonna...}}
•Spongebob:(sigh)I was really looking forward to a day of sportsmanship and male bonding.Thanks a lot,rain!(slams fist onto table and makes golf ball ricochet off of door then Gary into Gary's bowl)Hey,(ding)(raises finger)that gives me an idea.(card comes up saying:BRIEF CONSTRUCTION MONTAGE)
{{L|Patrick|Join us on the back nine?}}
 
{{L|Squidward|Just don't let it happen again! Or else. ''[angrily leaves]''}}
•Man with French accent:What follows is a brief construction montage.(shows Spongebob and Patrick hammering on boards,ripping a sofa,pouring sand,drilling holes,filling holes with water,making holes,& taking Gary's shell off)(cuts back to card)
{{L|SpongeBob|Let's get this game teed off. ''[balls come out of his head, he catches them, places a ball and tee on grass]'' You're up first, my good man.}}
 
{{L|''[Patrick stretches, yawns, stomps, ululates.]''}}
•Man with French accent:We hope you enjoyed this brief construction montage.(cuts to outside of house,with sounds and house shaking)(cuts to inside of Squidward's house)•Squidward:(grumbles then gets so angry his sleep mask burns off)(puts three pillows on a desk,ties them to his face with a rope,still hears them,then rips pillows off and screams)(walks to Spongebob's house with umbrella,cuts to inside,where spongebob and Patrick are constructing)Hey!Hello?!Nitwit morons.(Patrick hits Squidward with a hammer,Squidward screams)
{{L|Squidward|I am warning you two, keep it down!}}
 
{{L|SpongeBob|Better tone down the calisthenics, Patrick. Don't wanna upset Squidward.}}
•Spongebob:Oh,hi,Squidward.Up from your slumber,I see.Well,you're just in time to endure in a friendly game of (shows course) indoor miniature golf!
{{L|Patrick|Can't wait to lose, huh? ''[aims, pulls back, and shoots. Ball rolls back to tee]'' No! Ooh. If you had just let me finish my stretches, I wouldn't have missed my first shot!}}
 
{{L|SpongeBob|Oh, don't worry, Patrick, I'm sure you'll get the hang of it. ''[places ball on tee]'' Besides, we're just playin' for fun, right? And back, and- ''[makes it]''}}
•Squidward:I will not endulge in anything friendlyor otherwise with the likes of you two!Presently,I am heading to enjoy a well-deserved morning nap!
{{L|Patrick|Nice shot. ''[moves his ball]''}}
 
{{L|SpongeBob|What are you doing?}}
•Patrick:But we sculpted your likeness out of butter on hole five.(cuts to sculpture)
{{L|Patrick|Moving my ball.}}
 
{{L|SpongeBob|Patrick, you have to play it where it lands.}}
•Squidward:I don't care!Listen up,I will not be woken from my nap again,and if I am,I'm gonna-
{{L|Patrick|Fine. Have it your way. ''[moves the ball back to original place, shoots, makes it]'' Ready to give up?}}
 
{{L|''[Cuts to a hole.]''}}
•Patrick:Join us on the back nine?
{{L|Patrick|Ha! Let's see how you do against the windmill. You haven't got a chance.}}
 
{{L|SpongeBob|You know, Patrick, this is just a game.}}
•Squidward:Just don't let it happen again! Or else.(leaves)
{{L|Patrick|Oh, it is just a game, which I am gonna win.}}
 
{{L|SpongeBob|I think you're missing the point. ''[aims, practice shots]''}}
•Spongebob:Let's get this game teed off.[[music]] (balls come out of his head,he catches them,places a ball and tee on grass)You're up first,my good man.
{{L|Patrick|Speaking of m-m-missing! ''[SpongeBob shoots by accident, startled by Patrick]'' Ha! Gotta play it where it lands. Watch and learn, SquarePants. Watch and learn. ''[shoots and makes it]'' Yes! See if you can top that!}}
 
{{L|SpongeBob|''[uneasily]'' Okay.}}
•Patrick:(stretches,yawns,stomps,ululates)
{{L|Patrick|''[with microphone and headphones]'' SpongeBob readies the approach shot. He's gotta be very careful he doesn't hook the shot here, because this would certainly be an inopportune time for a bogey. ''[SpongeBob swings but stops]'' A pressure-packed shot to be sure. ''[leaves]''}}
 
{{L|''[SpongeBob sweats and wipes his forehead, shoots, ball stops right before it is about to go in.]''}}
•Squidward:Would you two KEEP IT DOWN?!
{{L|Bikini Bottomites|Aw. ''[all whisper]''}}
 
{{L|''[Cuts to a hole.]''}}
•Spongebob:Better tone down the calisthenics,Patrick.Don't wanna upset Squidward.
{{L|Patrick|Looks like we're tied, three shots to three.}}
 
{{L|SpongeBob|Shots. ''[chuckles]'' They're called strokes in golf, Patrick. Not shots.}}
•Patrick:Can't wait to lose,huh?(aims,pulls back,and shoots) (ball ricochets back to tee)NO!Ooh.If you would just let me finish my stretches,I wouldn't have missed my first shot!
{{L|Patrick|Whatever. ''[shoots and makes it]'' And he sinks another hole in one! That's two in a row!}}
 
{{L|SpongeBob|All right. You wanna play competitive, eh? Observe. ''[shoots and makes it]'' Right between the old wickets. Come on bally, don't fail me now.}}
•Spongebob:Oh,don't worry,Patrick,I'm sure you'll get the hang of it.(places ball on tee)Besides,we're just playin' for fun,right?And back,and-(makes it)
{{L|Patrick|Watch out for the water hazard.}}
 
{{L|SpongeBob|Patrick, the only hazard I can see is you standing in my shot.}}
•Patrick:Nice shot.(moves ball)
{{L|Patrick|I have no idea what you're talking about.}}
 
{{L|SpongeBob|Fine. Be that way. I'll just go around you. ''[shoots the ball an ball ricochets off of a picture, through the head of the Squidward butter sculpture and out the window]'' Oops.}}
•Spongebob:What are you doing?
{{L|Patrick|Show-off. I can do that. ''[shoots, SpongeBob ducks and goes out the window]''}}
 
{{L|SpongeBob|Oh, where did our balls go?}}
Patrick:Moving my ball.
{{L|Patrick|Well, how do I know? I was just copying you.}}
 
{{L|SpongeBob|''[shows the side of Squidward's house and broken window]'' Uh-oh. Oh well, I guess that's game point.}}
Spongebob:Patrick,you have to play it where it lands.
{{L|Patrick|Oh-ho-ho-ho-ho, hold on there, fella. It's not over yet.}}
 
{{L|SpongeBob|But remember what Squidward said? We can't make any noise!}}
Patrick:Fine.Have it your way.(moves ball back to original place,shoots,makes it)Ready to give up?
{{L|Patrick|Who said anything about noise? We're just gonna get outta the rough and back to the course!}}
 
{{L|SpongeBob|Hey! Patrick. Patrick! ''[Patrick is shown eating Squidward's kelp salad]'' What's the big idea? I thought we were in here to play golf, remember?}}
(cuts to a hole)
{{L|Patrick|Okay, okay!}}
 
{{L|SpongeBob|Now where is that darn ball?}}
Patrick:Ha!Let's see how you do against the windmill.You haven't got a chance.
{{L|Patrick|Ooh!}}
 
{{L|SpongeBob|Patrick, have you seen my ball?}}
Spongebob:You know,Patrick,this is just a game.
{{L|Patrick|Was it a red one?}}
 
{{L|SpongeBob|Mm-hmm.}}
Patrick:Oh,it is just a game,which I am gonna win.
{{L|Patrick|It might have been in the kelp salad.}}
 
{{L|SpongeBob|Patrick, you ate my ball?}}
Spongebob:I think you're missing the point.(aims,practice shots)
{{L|Patrick|Don't worry, I'll get it.}}
 
{{L|SpongeBob|Patrick, no!}}
•Patrick:Speaking of m-m-MISSING!
{{L|Patrick|No?}}
(Spongebob shoots by accident,startled by Patrick)
{{L|SpongeBob|I have to play the ball where it lies. ''[goes inside Patrick and opens his mouth]'' We'll need to leave this open. ''[goes back inside]'' Now, let's see, if I was a golf ball, where would I-oh! Next to the gallbladder, of course. Fore! ''[the ball goes through wall and hits the lamp]'' Where's your ball?}}
Ha!Gotta play it where it lands.Watch and learn,SquarePants.Watch and learn.
{{L|Patrick|I don't know. Gotta be around here somewhere. ''[the ball is seen on Patrick's butt on the outside of his pants]''}}
(shoots and makes it) YES!See if you can top that!
{{L|SpongeBob|There it is!}}
 
{{L|Patrick|Uh-oh.}}
Spongebob:(uneasily)Okay.
{{L|SpongeBob|Play it where it lies.}}
 
{{L|Patrick|''[angrily grumbling. Cuts to him shooting it and ricocheting off a cabinet to a overhead desk lamp, picture, and through a wall]'' Hole in one! Top that!}}
Patrick:(with microphone and headphones)
{{L|SpongeBob|I could do that blindfolded. ''[Patrick hands him a blindfold]''}}
Spongebob readies the approach shot.He's gotta be very careful he doesn't hook the shot here,
{{L|''[Cuts to blind SpongeBob. He hits a door. Feels around to identify it and slams the door.]''}}
because this would certainly be an inopportune time for a bogey.(Spongebob swings but stops)A
{{L|Patrick|Hey, wait up! Warmer. Warmer. Red hot!}}
pressure-packed shot to be sure.(leaves)
{{L|SpongeBob|''[slams a door]'' Aha!}}
 
{{L|Patrick|Warmer. Warmer. Colder. Colder. Warmer. Warmer. Warmer. Hot. Hotter. Red hot! Red hot! ''[SpongeBob splits a table]'' No, wait. My mistake. You're ice cold. Oh, Warmer. Warmer. Hot. Hot. Red hot. Red hot! Smoking hot! ''[kills a plant]'' Wrong again.}}
Spongebob:(dramatic music)(sweats and wipes his forehead,shoots,ball stops right before it's about to go in)
{{L|SpongeBob|Patrick... ''[peeks out]''}}
 
{{L|Patrick|Stop peeking! Hotter. ''[wrecks Squidward's house along the way]'' Colder! Hotter! Hot! Cold. Hot! Cold. Hot! Cool. Hot! Cold.}}
Bikini Bottomites:Aw. (all whisper)
{{L|SpongeBob|Patrick! ''[takes the blindfold off]'' This is ridi- ''[sees Squidward's wrecked house]'' -culous. Wow. Squidward's really let this place go. Patrick!}}
 
{{L|Patrick|''[in shower]'' Aah!}}
(cuts to hole)
{{L|SpongeBob|What are you doing?}}
 
{{L|Patrick|I was just freshening up. But these fancy fixtures are touchy. ''[turns fixture. Steam builds up around him]'' Hot! Red hot! Ah! Cold! Cold! Cold!}}
Patrick:Looks like we're tied,three shots to three.
{{L|SpongeBob|Would you please get back in the game?}}
 
{{L|Patrick|But I wanted to try his loofah.}}
Spongebob:(chuckles)They're called strokes in golf,Patrick.
{{L|SpongeBob|Those balls have gotta be around here somewhere. Oh, Patrick.}}
 
{{L|Patrick|Uhh, look a little closer, buddy.}}
Patrick:Whatever.(shoots an makes it)AND HE SINKS ANOTHER HOLE IN ONE!That's two in a row!
{{L|SpongeBob|''[uneasily]'' Play it where it lies?}}
 
{{L|Patrick|Play it where it lies.}}
Spongebob:All right.You wanna play competitive,eh?Observe.(shoots and makes it)
{{L|SpongeBob|But how are we gonna hit our balls back to my house from here?}}
Right between the old wickets.Come on bally,don't fail me now.
{{L|Patrick|All it takes is a little finesse, SpongeBob. All it takes is a little finesse.}}
 
{{L|SpongeBob|Okay, you're good to go.}}
Patrick:Watch out for the water hazard.
{{L|Patrick|Fore! ''[wrecks top front of house]'' It's all yours.}}
 
{{L|SpongeBob|This one's for all the marbles.}}
Spongebob:Patrick,the only hazard I can see is you standing in my shot.
{{L|Patrick|I thought we weren't betting.}}
 
{{L|SpongeBob|No, I mean whoever wins this hole wins the game. ''[Squidward wakes up and takes off his blindfold to see SpongeBob and Patrick talking]''}}
Patrick:I have no idea what you're talking about.
{{L|Squidward|''[muffled]'' What's going on here? ''[screams]''}}
 
{{L|''[SpongeBob and Patrick shoot, landing Gary's food bowl, spilling on him.]''}}
Spongebob:Fine.Be that way.I'll just go around you.(shoots ball an ball ricochets off of picture,
{{L|SpongeBob and Patrick|Hole in one! ''[Squidward sits up]''}}
through sculpture an out the window)Oops.
{{L|SpongeBob|''[softly]'' Good morning.}}
 
{{L|Patrick|Sorry we woke you.}}
Patrick:Show-off.I can do that.(shoots,Spongebob ducks and goes out the window)
{{L|Squidward|''[muffled and stammering]'' Wha-What? ''[his mouth is shown, with no dentures]''}}
 
{{L|SpongeBob|Hey, Squidward, what happened to your dentures?}}
Spongebob:Oh,where did our balls go?
{{L|''[Cuts to Gary, with dentures in his bowl.]''}}
 
{{L|Patrick|Good game, pal.}}
Patrick:Well,how do I know?I was just copying you.
{{L|SpongeBob|Rematch next Saturday?}}
 
{{L|Patrick|Rain or shine, SpongeBob. Rain or shine.}}
Spongebob:(shows side of Squidward's house and broken window)Uh-oh.
{{L|''[It stops raining, focusing on Squidward's house, which collapses.]''}}
Oh well,I guess that's game point.
{{L|Squidward|''[muffled angrily]'' SpongeBob?!}}
 
Patrick:Oh-ho-ho-ho-ho,hold on there,fella.It's not over yet.
 
Spongebob:But remember what Squidward said?We can't make any noise!
 
Patrick:Who said anything about noise?We're just gonna get outta the rough and back to the course!
 
Spongebob:Hey!Patrick.Patrick!What's the big idea?I thought we were in here to play golf,
remember?
 
Patrick:Okay,okay!
 
Spongebob:Now where is that darn ball?
 
Patrick:Oh!
 
Spongebob:Patrick,have you seen by ball?
 
Patrick:Was it a red one?
 
Spongebob:M-hmm.
 
Patrick:It might have been in the kelp salad.
 
Spongebob:Patrick,you ate my ball?
 
Patrick:Don't worry,I'll get it.
 
Spongebob:Patrick,no!
 
Patrick:No?
 
Spongebob:I have to play the ball where it lies.(goes inside Patrick and opens his mouth)You'll  
need to leave this open.(goes back inside)Now,let's see,if I was a golf ball,where would I-oh!
Next to the gallbladder,of course.Fore!(ball goes through wall and hits lamp
Where's your ball?
 
Patrick:I don't know.Gotta be around here somewhere.(ball seen in Patrick's butthole on outside of
pants)
 
Spongebob:There it is!
 
Patrick:Uh-oh.
 
Spongebob:Play it where it lies.
 
Patrick:(angrily grumbling)(cuts to him shooting it and ricocheting off a cabinet to a overhead desk
lamp,picture,and through a wall)Hole in one!Top that!
 
Spongebob:I could do that blindfolded.(Patrick hands him a blindfold)
 
(cuts to blind Spongebob)
Spongebob:(he hits a door)(Thunk!)(feels around to identify it)(slams door)
 
Patrick:Wait up!Warmer.Warmer.Red hot!
 
Spongebob:(slams a door)Aha!
 
Patrick:Warmer.Warmer.Colder.Colder.Warmer.Warmer.Warmer.Hot.Hotter.
Red hot!Red hot!(Spongebob splits a table)Wait,My mistake.You're right.Oh.Warmer.Warmer.
Hot.Hot.Red hot.Red hot!Spongebob,red hot!(Kills a plant)Wrong Again.
 
Spongebob:Patrick-(peeks out)
 
Patrick:Stop peeking!Hotter.(wrecks Squidward's house along the way)
Hotter!Hot!Hot!Cold.Hot.Cold.Hot!Cold.
 
Spongebob:Patrick!This is ridic-(sees Squidward's wrecked house)
-ulous.Wow.Squidward's really let this place go.Patrick!
 
Patrick:(in shower)(screams)
 
Spongebob:What are you doing?
 
Patrick:I was just freshening up.These fancy fixtures are touchy(steam builds up around
Patrick)Hot!Red hot!Ah!Cold!Cold!
 
Spongebob:Would you please get back in the game?
 
Patrick:But I wanted to try his loofah.
 
Spongebob:Those balls have gotta be around here somewhere.Oh,
Patrick.(ding)
 
Patrick:Uhh,look a little closer,buddy.
 
Spongebob:(uneasily)Play it where it lies?
 
Patrick:Play it where it lies.
 
Spongebob:But how are we gonna hit our balls back to my house from here?
 
Patrick:All it takes is a little finesse,Spongebob.All it takes is a little finesse.
 
Spongebob:Okay,you're good to go.
 
Patrick:Fore!(wrecks top front of house)It's all yours
 
Spongebob:This one's for all the marbles.
 
Patrick:But I thought we weren't betting.
 
Spongebob:No,I mean whoever wins this hole wins the game.(Squidward
wakes up and takes off his blindfold to see spongebob and Patrick talking)
 
Squidward:(muffled)What's going on here?(screams)
(Spongebob and Patrick shoot,landing Gary's food bowl,spilling on him)
 
Spongebob and Patrick:(together)Hole in one!(Squidward sits up)
 
Spongebob:Good morning.
 
Patrick: Sorry we woke you.
 
Squidward:(muffled)(stammering)Wha-What?(his mouth is shown,with no denchers)
 
Spongebob:Hey,Squidward,what happened to your denchers?
 
(cuts to Gary,with denchers in his bowl)
 
Patrick:Good game,pal.
 
Spongebob:Rematch next Saturday?
 
Patrick:Rain or shine,Spongebob.Rain or shine.
 
(stops raining,focusing on Squidward's house,which collapses)
 
Squidward:(muffled)Guys?You guys?
 
(episode ends)
[[Category:Transcripts]]

Latest revision as of 03:43, 29 July 2025

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