Bummer Jobs/transcript: Difference between revisions
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{{PatrickStarShow EpisodeTr}} | |||
{{PatrickStarShow EpisodeTr | {{L|''[The episode begins with Squidward appearing to be fishing for something on what seems like a dock.]''}} | ||
}} | |||
{{L|''[The episode begins with | |||
{{L|Squidward|''[sighs happily]'' Nothing like a relaxing morning fishing... ''[The camera zooms out to reveal Squidward fishing on the roof of the star house.]'' ...for a deadbeat! ''[laughs evilly]''}} | {{L|Squidward|''[sighs happily]'' Nothing like a relaxing morning fishing... ''[The camera zooms out to reveal Squidward fishing on the roof of the star house.]'' ...for a deadbeat! ''[laughs evilly]''}} | ||
{{L|''[He appears to be moving the line up and down, and someone is straining to catch it. Then, when he reels it up...]''}} | {{L|''[He appears to be moving the line up and down, and someone is straining to catch it. Then, when he reels it up...]''}} | ||
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{{L|''[Bunny and Cecil blow deeply into some balloons which turn into suitcases. Then, the door opens. Bunny and Cecil sit on the balloon suitcases which deflate and take them to work.]''}} | {{L|''[Bunny and Cecil blow deeply into some balloons which turn into suitcases. Then, the door opens. Bunny and Cecil sit on the balloon suitcases which deflate and take them to work.]''}} | ||
{{L|Patrick|Where can I get a job and find my porpoise?}} | {{L|Patrick|Where can I get a job and find my porpoise?}} | ||
{{L|He bonks into the wall and falls on the floor. Then, a porpoise appears.]''}} | {{L|''[He bonks into the wall and falls on the floor. Then, a blue porpoise in a red shirt, appears.]''}} | ||
{{L|Porpoise|Don't look at me. I ain't got it.}} | {{L|Porpoise|Don't look at me. I ain't got it.}} | ||
{{L|Squidina|I already have ''my'' dream job. ''[Cloud letters then appear above Squidina]'' Producing ''The Patrick Show''.}} | {{L|Squidina|I already have ''my'' dream job. ''[Cloud letters then appear above Squidina]'' Producing ''The Patrick Show''.}} | ||
{{L|Patrick|''[destroys cloud letters]'' That | {{L|Patrick|''[destroys cloud letters]'' That show's a hoot. The pink guy is so dumb!}} | ||
{{L|Squidina|Come on, brother. It's time to start the show!}} | {{L|Squidina|Come on, brother. It's time to start the show!}} | ||
{{L|''[The scene then changes to the TV, where Slappy Laszlo and the little boy are watching the show.]''}} | {{L|''[The scene then changes to the TV, where Slappy Laszlo and the little boy are watching the show.]''}} | ||
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{{L|Patrick|Yeah, I'm looking for a job.}} | {{L|Patrick|Yeah, I'm looking for a job.}} | ||
{{L|SpongeBob|Oh, what a coincidence. I could also use a job. ''[Popeye impression]'' Myeh, 'cause I'm a little low on lettuce and I need some scratch for spatulas, see?}} | {{L|SpongeBob|Oh, what a coincidence. I could also use a job. ''[Popeye impression]'' Myeh, 'cause I'm a little low on lettuce and I need some scratch for spatulas, see?}} | ||
{{L|Patrick|It's not a coincidence, SpongeBob. It's just two similar things happening at the same time.}} | {{L|Patrick|It's ''not'' a coincidence, SpongeBob. It's just two similar things happening at the same time.}} | ||
{{L|''[The two then walk off, and Squidina follows them on her bike.]''}} | {{L|''[The two then walk off, and Squidina follows them on her bike.]''}} | ||
{{L|Squidina|''[wearing a Pat TV camera]'' Oof, I guess "The Patrick Show" is goooing mobile today.}} | {{L|Squidina|''[wearing a Pat TV camera]'' Oof, I guess "The Patrick Show" is goooing mobile today.}} | ||
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{{L|Incidental 104| Oh, one more box.}} | {{L|Incidental 104| Oh, one more box.}} | ||
{{L|''[She then puts him in a boat trunk.]''}} | {{L|''[She then puts him in a boat trunk.]''}} | ||
{{L| | {{L|SpongeBob|That tickles.}} | ||
{{L|Incidental 104|I'm so sorry. I thought you were a box of cereal.}} | {{L|Incidental 104|I'm so sorry. I thought you were a box of cereal.}} | ||
{{L|SpongeBob|Oh, I wish.}} | {{L|SpongeBob|Oh, I wish.}} | ||
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{{L|SpongeBob|That we should become bag boys!}} | {{L|SpongeBob|That we should become bag boys!}} | ||
{{L|Patrick|No, it's just this darn rash. You gotta see this!}} | {{L|Patrick|No, it's just this darn rash. You gotta see this!}} | ||
{{L|''[He pulls up his shirt to show a rash that says "Be a Bag Boy" | {{L|''[He pulls up his shirt to show a rash that says "Be a Bag Boy." Bubble transition to Patrick and SpongeBob at the grocery store practicing their first job as bag boys.]''}} | ||
{{L|SpongeBob|''[slightly nervous]'' Ah, okay, here we go. My very first bag boy duty.}} | {{L|SpongeBob|''[slightly nervous]'' Ah, okay, here we go. My very first bag boy duty.}} | ||
{{L|''[He carefully attempts to put the eggs, flour, and watermelon in the bag, but the customer is impatient. Meanwhile, Patrick is doing it really fast.]''}} | {{L|''[He carefully attempts to put the eggs, flour, and watermelon in the bag, but the customer is impatient. Meanwhile, Patrick is doing it really fast.]''}} | ||
{{L|Patrick|''[in a quick tone]'' You're going too slow, SpongeBob. Bagging is all about | {{L|Patrick|''[in a quick tone]'' You're going too slow, SpongeBob. Bagging is all about speed, baby!}} | ||
{{L|''[He adds more and more items in the bag. The customer comes to get the bag, but it seems to be really heavy.]''}} | {{L|''[He adds more and more items in the bag. The customer comes to get the bag, but it seems to be really heavy.]''}} | ||
{{L|Patrick|Oh no, I missed one.}} | {{L|Patrick|Oh no, I missed one.}} | ||
{{L|''[Patrick gets an anvil and puts it in the bag, causing the man to crash through the floor.]''}}{{L|SpongeBob|''[clapping]'' Nice job, Patrick. Now watch me.}} | {{L|''[Patrick gets an anvil and puts it in the bag, causing the man to crash through the floor.]''}} | ||
{{L|SpongeBob|''[clapping]'' Nice job, Patrick. Now watch me.}} | |||
{{L|''[He stuffs the bag, and smashes it with a mallet.]''}} | {{L|''[He stuffs the bag, and smashes it with a mallet.]''}} | ||
{{L|SpongeBob|Ka-pow! There.}} | {{L|SpongeBob|Ka-pow! There.}} | ||
{{L|''[He then folds the smashed-up bag into a paper sailor hat, and puts it on the customer's head.]''}}{{L|SpongeBob|Ooh, très chic.}} | {{L|''[He then folds the smashed-up bag into a paper sailor hat, and puts it on the customer's head.]''}} | ||
{{L|SpongeBob|Ooh, très chic.}} | |||
{{L|Customer|''[sarcastic]'' Thanks.}} | {{L|Customer|''[sarcastic]'' Thanks.}} | ||
{{L|''[Patrick is then seen juggling a box of Kelpo cereal, two tomatoes, mayo, and an orange juice bottle, but he is blindfolded.]''}} | {{L|''[Patrick is then seen juggling a box of Kelpo cereal, two tomatoes, mayo, and an orange juice bottle, but he is blindfolded.]''}} | ||
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{{L|Porpoise|''[angrily]'' It's pronounced "purpose."}} | {{L|Porpoise|''[angrily]'' It's pronounced "purpose."}} | ||
{{L|''[The traffic light turns green, and they arrive at Incidental 82's household. When they knock down a part of her fence, they see a rainbow of "Opportunity."]''}} | {{L|''[The traffic light turns green, and they arrive at Incidental 82's household. When they knock down a part of her fence, they see a rainbow of "Opportunity."]''}} | ||
{{L|SpongeBob|''[as a | {{L|SpongeBob|''[as a salesman]'' Psst, hey, lady. We're lookin' for a job. You think we could, uh, paint that fence for you?}} | ||
{{L|Incidental 82|Oh, of course. What sweet boys.}} | {{L|Incidental 82|Oh, of course. What sweet boys.}} | ||
{{L|Patrick|We could touch up a few of your wrinkles, too.}} | {{L|Patrick|We could touch up a few of your wrinkles, too.}} | ||
{{L|''[He takes out a putty knife. It then shows an odd closeup of the old lady, and she is offended by Patrick's comment and walks away. Then, Patrick and SpongeBob attempt their second job: fence painters. But, they do it messily.]''}}{{L|SpongeBob and Patrick|♪Oh, this is the way we paint the fence. Paint the fence, paint the fence. This is the way we paint the fence. For the nice old lady.♪}} | {{L|''[He takes out a putty knife. It then shows an odd closeup of the old lady, and she is offended by Patrick's comment and walks away. Then, Patrick and SpongeBob attempt their second job: fence painters. But, they do it messily.]''}} | ||
{{L|SpongeBob and Patrick|♪Oh, this is the way we paint the fence. Paint the fence, paint the fence. This is the way we paint the fence. For the nice old lady.♪}} | |||
{{L|SpongeBob|Perfect!}} | {{L|SpongeBob|Perfect!}} | ||
{{L|''[It shows that they are done, and the fence is rainbow colored. The camera then moves up to the old lady's house, and a part of the house falls off.]''}} | {{L|''[It shows that they are done, and the fence is rainbow colored. The camera then moves up to the old lady's house, and a part of the house falls off.]''}} | ||
{{L|Patrick|This house could use some help too.}}{{L|French Narrator|Two idiots later...}} | {{L|Patrick|This house could use some help too.}} | ||
{{L|French Narrator|Two idiots later...}} | |||
{{L|''[The old lady then reappears, and the house is covered with a giant white cloth.]''}} | {{L|''[The old lady then reappears, and the house is covered with a giant white cloth.]''}} | ||
{{L|Incidental 82|''[slightly confused]'' Oh, it's, uh, lovely. Thank you.}} | {{L|Incidental 82|''[slightly confused]'' Oh, it's, uh, lovely. Thank you.}} | ||
{{L|''[SpongeBob then opens the fence door for the lady.]''}} | {{L|''[SpongeBob then opens the fence door for the lady.]''}} | ||
{{L|Patrick|''[to Incidental 82]'' You haven't seen anything yet. Ta-da! We gave your house a makeover.}} | {{L|Patrick|''[to Incidental 82]'' You haven't seen anything yet. Ta-da! We gave your house a makeover.}} | ||
{{L|''[It shows the house now sporting a blonde wig, black eyelashes, blue eyeshadow, pink blush, and red lipstick.]''}}{{L|Incidental 82|''[mumbles incoherently]''}} | {{L|''[It shows the house now sporting a blonde wig, black eyelashes, blue eyeshadow, pink blush, and red lipstick.]''}} | ||
{{L|Incidental 82|''[mumbles incoherently]''}} | |||
{{L|Patrick|Isn't she beautiful?}} | {{L|Patrick|Isn't she beautiful?}} | ||
{{L|''[The house then winks, making all of the other houses gain a crush on her. The old lady then faints.]''}}{{L|Patrick|A job well did.}} | {{L|''[The house then winks, making all of the other houses gain a crush on her. The old lady then faints.]''}} | ||
{{L|''[They then get fired from the second job. | {{L|Patrick|A job well did.}} | ||
{{L|''[They then get fired from the second job. Bubble transition to Incidental 118C paying his fare to a taxi driver.]''}} | |||
{{L|Incidental 118C|''[paying the taxi driver]'' Thanks for the ride in your stinky cab.}} | {{L|Incidental 118C|''[paying the taxi driver]'' Thanks for the ride in your stinky cab.}} | ||
{{L|Cab driver|Your money makes this job tolerable.}} | {{L|Cab driver|Your money makes this job tolerable.}} | ||
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{{L|''[It then shows Snapper and Gills interrogating Fred.]''}} | {{L|''[It then shows Snapper and Gills interrogating Fred.]''}} | ||
{{L|Gills|Now, where was your leg on Tuesday night?}} | {{L|Gills|Now, where was your leg on Tuesday night?}} | ||
{{L|Fred|My leg?}}{{L|Snapper|We knows it was you.}} | {{L|Fred|My leg?}} | ||
{{L|Snapper|We knows it was you.}} | |||
{{L|Fred|''[gulps]'' M-m-m-my leg?}} | {{L|Fred|''[gulps]'' M-m-m-my leg?}} | ||
{{L|Gills|Myeh, so you won't talk, eh? Hey, Snapper, show him what we'll do to his leg if he don't make with the chin-waggin'.}} | {{L|Gills|Myeh, so you won't talk, eh? Hey, Snapper, show him what we'll do to his leg if he don't make with the chin-waggin'.}} | ||
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{{L|Gills|And also some of this. ''[He painfully twists his leg.]'' Oh!}} | {{L|Gills|And also some of this. ''[He painfully twists his leg.]'' Oh!}} | ||
{{L|Fred|''[confused]'' My leg?}} | {{L|Fred|''[confused]'' My leg?}} | ||
{{L|Snapper|How 'bout a little of this?}} | |||
{{L|''[He shaves his leg in a form of torture.]''}} | |||
{{L|Gills|Ah! He's shavin' against the grain!}} | |||
{{L|''[Snapper and Gills keep torturing themselves, while Fred appears to have a sly grin on his face.]''}} | |||
{{L|Fred|''[happily]'' I confess, I did do it! With my leg.}} | |||
{{L|''[He then shuts the door on his leg while leaving.]''}} | |||
{{L|Fred|''[screaming]'' My leg!}} | |||
{{L|''[The episode of "Noir-Sense" ends just as Cecil gets home from work, and he is dressed in a football outfit. Cecil is humming, then Squidward knocks on the door.]''}} | |||
{{L|Cecil|Hey! It's that weird guy who wants my money again.}} | |||
{{L|''[In an attempt to get away, Cecil hides his face in the lampshade.]''}} | |||
{{L|Squidward|I can see you, Mr. Star.}} | |||
{{L|Cecil|''[through a megaphone]'' Nobody's home!}} | |||
{{L|''[Squidward sighs, and then sees Patrick and SpongeBob Patsy-ing Squidina and a worm.]''}} | |||
{{L|Squidward|That moron lives with this moron. Maybe HE can get the cash. Hey! How would you two like a job?}} | |||
{{L|''[The two hear him, fling off Squidina and the worm, and run over.]''}} | |||
{{L|Patrick|Sure. I'm still looking for a porpoise.}} | |||
{{L|Porpoise|What do you want from me? Hmph!}} | |||
{{L|''[The porpoise then walks away.]''}} | |||
{{L|Squidward|It's very simple. Just collect my newspaper money from Mr. Star.}} | |||
{{L|Patrick|Who's Mr. Star?}} | |||
{{L|Squidward|''[slightly annoyed]'' Cecil. Your father?}} | |||
{{L|Patrick|Oh, ''him''! Oh, but his name's not Seashell. It's Dad.}} | |||
{{L|SpongeBob|That's my dad's name, too!}} | |||
{{L|Patrick|No way! ''[high-fives SpongeBob]''}} | |||
{{L|SpongeBob|Yeah!}} | |||
{{L|Patrick|Jinx!}} | |||
{{L|Squidward|Do you think you can possibly handle this job?}} | |||
{{L|Patrick|Of course. You're not talking to a couple of noobs.}} | |||
{{L|SpongeBob|Yeah, we've had ''[raises three fingers]'' three jobs since breakfast.}} | |||
{{L|''[Bubble transition to Patrick and SpongeBob on their first attempt: just knocking on the door.]''}} | |||
{{L|Cecil|''[muttering]''}} | |||
{{L|''[Cecil then slams the door shut on SpongeBob and Patrick.]''}} | |||
{{L|Squidward|Well, did you get the money?}} | |||
{{L|Patrick|Nope, he sent us packing.}} | |||
{{L|''[Patrick and SpongeBob hold up suitcases.]''}} | |||
{{L|Squidward|''[angrily]'' Try harder!}} | |||
{{L|Patrick|Harder?}} | |||
{{L|SpongeBob|What do we do?}} | |||
{{L|Patrick|Uhh...}} | |||
{{L|''[Squidina clears her throat, and shows the two a sign that says "We gotta be like those tough guys on TV."]''}} | |||
{{L|Patrick|Oh, we gotta be like those tough guys on TV.}} | |||
{{L|''[Bubble transition to Patrick and SpongeBob as detectives for their second attempt: getting the newspaper wet.]''}} | |||
{{L|SpongeBob|''[like a detective]'' That's an interestin' newspaper you get delivered.}} | |||
{{L|Cecil|''[peeking out the door]'' Wha–?}} | |||
{{L|''[Patrick then is shown holding a glass of water, and he is about to pour it on the newspaper.]''}} | |||
{{L|Patrick|Be a shame if it was to get all wet and soggy.}} | |||
{{L|''[A woman is then heard screaming in the background.]''}} | |||
{{L|Cecil|''[gasps]'' Not the Sunday edition!}} | |||
{{L|''[He then uses the vacuum through the mail slot, sucks up the newspaper, and gets it inside the house.]''}} | |||
{{L|Cecil|''[angry]'' You ain't getting my money!}} | |||
{{L|''[Bubble transition to their third attempt: putting their feet down, literally. Patrick then knocks on the door.]''}} | |||
{{L|Patrick|''[shouting]'' We're gone now! ''[giggles]''}} | |||
{{L|''[Cecil then opens the door.]''}} | |||
{{L|Cecil|Oh!}} | |||
{{L|''[He attempts to close the door, but Patrick's foot is in the way. He tries again, but then both Patrick and SpongeBob's feet are in the way. He then puts his foot on the top. Shoes then start piling up on the feet, until SpongeBob and Patrick fall from the shoe tower.]''}} | |||
{{L|SpongeBob|''[like a detective]'' Myeh, looks like we'll have to give this mug the "big tip."}} | |||
{{L|''[Bubble transition to Patrick and SpongeBob operating a crane. They tip the house over, and all the newspapers fall out along with Cecil. SpongeBob and Patrick then walk towards Cecil.]''}} | |||
{{L|Patrick|''[angrily]'' We gotcha now, deadbeat!}} | |||
{{L|Cecil|''[takes a nickel out of his ear]'' Here, take my filthy lucre!}} | |||
{{L|SpongeBob|''[takes the nickel]'' Yoink. Thanks.}} | |||
{{L|Squidward|Ahem. I'll collect my money now.}} | |||
{{L|Patrick|And I'll collect our pay.}} | |||
{{L|''[He then splits the nickel in half and gives one half to SpongeBob.]''}} | |||
{{L|SpongeBob|Ooh!}} | |||
{{L|SpongeBob and Patrick|''[laughing]''}} | |||
{{L|Squidward|Huh? ''[He then puts his newspaper bag on his head and starts screaming.]''}} | |||
{{L|''[Bubble transition to Patrick and Squidina in the production room.]''}} | |||
{{L|Squidina|So, what did we learn today, Patrick?}} | |||
{{L|Patrick|I don't want any more jobs. They're too much work. I have found my true porpoise: doing my TV show!}} | |||
{{L|Squidina|''[slightly disappointed]'' Really? Then what do I do with this?}} | |||
{{L|''[She pulls a blanket off of the porpoise.]''}} | |||
{{L|Porpoise|''[angrily]'' Let me go, you little– ''[dolphin chirp, as he says bad word #11]''}} | |||
{{L|Squidina|Hey, watch your language! This is a family show.}} | |||
{{L|''[Patrick then walks over and pulls up his shirt, revealing his rash that says "The End," and starts scratching it.]''}} | |||
{{L|Patrick|The End is so itchy.}} | |||
{{L|''[The episode then ends with Patrick still scratching his rash.]''}} | |||
Latest revision as of 21:07, 25 June 2025
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