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{{EpisodeTranscript}}
{{EpisodeTranscript}}
{{L|''[SpongeBob is sitting inside of his mailbox, happily humming. He checks his watch. The Mailfish arrives, opens the mailbox, and SpongeBob suddenly pops out.]''}}
{{L|''[SpongeBob is sitting inside of his mailbox, happily humming. He checks his watch. Incidental 154 arrives, opens the mailbox, and SpongeBob suddenly pops out.]''}}
{{L|SpongeBob|Hi, mailman!}}
{{L|SpongeBob|Hi, mailman!}}
{{L|''[Mailfish drops his mail, screams in terror, and runs away.]''}}
{{L|''[Incidental 154 drops his mail, screams in terror, and runs away.]''}}
{{L|SpongeBob|Okay, ''[gets out of the mailbox]'' see you tomorrow!}}
{{L|SpongeBob|Okay, ''[gets out of the mailbox]'' see you tomorrow!}}
{{L|Patrick|''[walks up]'' Hey, the mail's here! What did you get?}}
{{L|Patrick|''[walks up]'' Hey, the mail's here! What did you get?}}
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{{L|''[SpongeBob and Patrick walk up to a house.]''}}
{{L|''[SpongeBob and Patrick walk up to a house.]''}}
{{L|SpongeBob|Okay, Patrick, this is it! The first step on our road to living fancy! Just follow my lead.}}
{{L|SpongeBob|Okay, Patrick, this is it! The first step on our road to living fancy! Just follow my lead.}}
{{L|''[SpongeBob runs up and knocks on the door. Tom opens the door.]''}}
{{L|''[SpongeBob runs up and knocks on the door. Incidental 6 opens the door.]''}}
{{L|SpongeBob|Good afternoon, sir, could we interest you in some ''[holds up a chocolate bar]'' chocolate?}}
{{L|SpongeBob|Good afternoon, sir, could we interest you in some ''[holds up a chocolate bar]'' chocolate?}}
{{L|Tom|Chocolate? Did you say, chocolate?}}
{{L|Tom|Chocolate? Did you say, chocolate?}}
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{{L|Incidental 49|Oh, what can I do for you two nice young men?}}
{{L|Incidental 49|Oh, what can I do for you two nice young men?}}
{{L|SpongeBob|We're selling chocolate bars. Would you like to buy one?}}
{{L|SpongeBob|We're selling chocolate bars. Would you like to buy one?}}
{{L|Incidental 49|That sounds heavenly! I'll take one.}}
{{L|Incidental 49|That sounds heavenly! I'll take one!}}
{{L|SpongeBob|One chocolate bar, coming up! ''[opens up a bag, only to find another bag]'' Huh? Eh... Huh? Huh? Uh, uh, uh... ''[attempts to pull out a chocolate bar, but keeps pulling more bags, while Patrick is zipping and unzipping his pants]''}}
{{L|SpongeBob|One chocolate bar, coming up! ''[opens up a bag, only to find another bag]'' Huh? Eh... Huh? Huh? Uh, uh, uh... ''[attempts to pull out a chocolate bar, but keeps pulling more bags, while Patrick is zipping and unzipping his pants]''}}
{{L|SpongeBob|I know they're in here somewhere!}}
{{L|SpongeBob|I know they're in here somewhere!}}
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{{L|Tom|Chocolate!}}
{{L|Tom|Chocolate!}}
{{L|SpongeBob|—lady.}}
{{L|SpongeBob|—lady.}}
{{L|Tom|Chocolate! Chocolate! Chocolate! ''[He chases SpongeBob and Patrick.]''}}
{{L|Tom|Chocolate! Chocolate! Chocolate! ''[He chases SpongeBob and Patrick as the chocolates fly out of the latter two's bags and run for their lives.]''}}
{{L|''[Bubble transition to SpongeBob and Patrick sitting in a diner.]''}}
{{L|''[Bubble transition to SpongeBob and Patrick sitting in a diner.]''}}
{{L|SpongeBob|We're not doing so well, Patrick. We need a new approach, a new tactic.}}
{{L|SpongeBob|We're not doing so well, Patrick. We need a new approach, a new tactic.}}
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{{L|Incidental 37B|''[freaks out]'' Back up, Jack! ''[slams the door on Patrick's eyes]''}}
{{L|Incidental 37B|''[freaks out]'' Back up, Jack! ''[slams the door on Patrick's eyes]''}}
{{L|Patrick|Oof! ''[moves his eyes around]'' Nice place you got in here.}}
{{L|Patrick|Oof! ''[moves his eyes around]'' Nice place you got in here.}}
{{L|''[Bubbles come up and cut to the next scene. Patrick is eating a chocolate bar.]''}}
{{L|''[Bubble transition to the next scene. Patrick is eating a chocolate bar.]''}}
{{L|SpongeBob|I can't understand what we're doing wrong.}}
{{L|SpongeBob|I can't understand what we're doing wrong.}}
{{L|Patrick|I can't understand anything.}}
{{L|Patrick|I can't understand anything.}}
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{{L|Patrick|The kill!}}
{{L|Patrick|The kill!}}
{{L|''[SpongeBob uses the doorbell. Mary answers.]''}}
{{L|''[SpongeBob uses the doorbell. Mary answers.]''}}
{{L|Mary|Yes?}}
{{L|Incidental 87|Yes?}}
{{L|''[Cut to SpongeBob and Patrick.]''}}
{{L|''[Cut to SpongeBob and Patrick.]''}}
{{L|SpongeBob|Hello, young lady. ''[winks at Patrick, who chuckles]'' We're selling chocolate. ''[gets a closer look at Mom]'' Is your mother home?}}
{{L|SpongeBob|Hello, young lady. ''[winks at Patrick, who chuckles]'' We're selling chocolate. ''[gets a closer look at Baby Prunes]'' Is your mother home?}}
{{L|''[Cut to Mary.]''}}
{{L|''[Cut to Incidental 87.]''}}
{{L|Mary|Mom!}}
{{L|Mary|Mom!}}
{{L|Mom|''[enters from the right side of the house in a wheelchair. She is seen shriveled up to the point where she appears to be merely a head and a spine]'' What, what, what's all the yelling?}}
{{L|Baby Prunes|''[enters from the right side of the house in a wheelchair. She is seen shriveled up to the point where she appears to be merely a head and a spine]'' What, what, what's all the yelling?}}
{{L|''[Cut to SpongeBob and Patrick who have stunned looks on their faces. Cut back to the mom.]''}}
{{L|''[Cut to SpongeBob and Patrick who have stunned looks on their faces. Cut back to mom.]''}}
{{L|Mom|You just can't wait for me to die, can you?}}
{{L|Baby Prunes|You just can't wait for me to die, can you?}}
{{L|''[Cut to SpongeBob and Patrick.]''}}
{{L|''[Cut to SpongeBob and Patrick.]''}}
{{L|Mary|They're selling chocolate.}}
{{L|Incidental 87|They're selling chocolate.}}
{{L|Mom|Chocolate?}}
{{L|Baby Prunes|Chocolate?}}
{{L|Mary|Yeah!}}
{{L|Incidental 87|Yeah!}}
{{L|''[Cut to Mary and her mom.]''}}
{{L|''[Cut to Incidental 87 and Baby Prunes.]''}}
{{L|Mom|What, what are they selling?}}
{{L|Baby Prunes|What, what are they selling?}}
{{L|Mary|Chocolates!}}
{{L|Incidental 87|Chocolates!}}
{{L|Mom|What?}}
{{L|Baby Prunes|What?}}
{{L|Mary|Chocolates!}}
{{L|Incidental 87|Chocolates!}}
{{L|Mom|I can't hear you!}}
{{L|Baby Prunes|I can't hear you!}}
{{L|Mary|They're selling chocolates!}}
{{L|Incidental 87|They're selling chocolates!}}
{{L|Mom|They're selling chocolate?}}
{{L|Baby Prunes|They're selling chocolate?}}
{{L|Mary|Yeah!}}
{{L|Incidental 87|Yeah!}}
{{L|''[Cut to a close-up of mom smiling.]''}}
{{L|''[Cut to a close-up of mom smiling.]''}}
{{L|Mom|Chocolate. I remember when they first invented chocolate. Sweet, sweet chocolate.}}
{{L|Baby Prunes|Chocolate. I remember when they first invented chocolate. Sweet, sweet chocolate.}}
{{L|''[Cut back to view Mary and her mom.]''}}
{{L|''[Cut back to view Incidental 87 and Baby Prunes.]''}}
{{L|Mom|I always hated it!}}
{{L|Baby Prunes|I always hated it!}}
{{L|''[Cut to SpongeBob sweating.]''}}
{{L|''[Cut to SpongeBob sweating.]''}}
{{L|SpongeBob|Oh, but this chocolate's not for eating. It's for...}}
{{L|SpongeBob|Oh, but this chocolate's not for eating. It's for...}}
{{L|Patrick|''[comes from the top left]'' You rub it on your skin and it makes you live forever.}}
{{L|Patrick|''[comes from the top left]'' You rub it on your skin and it makes you live forever.}}
{{L|''[Cut to Mary and her mom, Mary is heard constantly saying "No!"]''}}
{{L|''[Cut to Incidental 87 and Baby Prunes, Incidental 87 is heard constantly saying "No!"]''}}
{{L|Mom|Live forever, you say? I'll take one. ''[Mary slaps her face]''}}
{{L|Baby Prunes|Live forever, ya say? I'll take one. ''[Incidental 87 slaps her face]''}}
{{L|''[Cut to the outside. Mary pays SpongeBob a dollar.]''}}
{{L|''[Cut to the outside. Incidental 87 pays SpongeBob a dollar.]''}}
{{L|Mom|''[from inside the house]'' Come on, you lazy Mary! ''[cut to Mary]'' Start rubbing me with that chocolate!}}
{{L|Baby Prunes|''[from inside the house]'' Come on, you lazy Mary! ''[cut to Incidental 87]'' Start rubbing me with that chocolate!}}
{{L|Mary|''[looks at SpongeBob and Patrick angrily]'' I hate you. ''[slams the door. Cut to SpongeBob and Patrick]''}}
{{L|Incidental 87|''[looks at SpongeBob and Patrick angrily]'' I hate you. ''[slams the door. Cut to SpongeBob and Patrick]''}}
{{L|SpongeBob|If we keep exaggerating the truth, we'll be fancy living in no time!}}
{{L|SpongeBob|If we keep exaggerating the truth, we'll be fancy living in no time!}}
{{L|Patrick|''[raises his fist]'' Hooray for lying!}}
{{L|Patrick|''[raises his fist]'' Hooray for lying!}}
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{{L|''[Cut to SpongeBob and Patrick, who are completely stunned.]''}}
{{L|''[Cut to SpongeBob and Patrick, who are completely stunned.]''}}
{{L|SpongeBob|''[nervously]'' Uh... We've got some head trauma and eternal bleeding.}}
{{L|SpongeBob|''[nervously]'' Uh... We've got some head trauma and eternal bleeding.}}
{{L|''[Cut to the "customer".]''}}
{{L|''[Cut to the "customer."]''}}
{{L|Incidental 118C|Ah, some guys have all the luck.}}
{{L|Incidental 118C|Ah, some guys have all the luck.}}
{{L|''[A violin begins playing.]''}}
{{L|''[A violin begins playing.]''}}
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{{L|''[Cut to SpongeBob and Patrick.]''}}
{{L|''[Cut to SpongeBob and Patrick.]''}}
{{L|SpongeBob|Quick, Patrick, let's help him!}}
{{L|SpongeBob|Quick, Patrick, let's help him!}}
{{L|''[Cut to the inside of the house. SpongeBob and Patrick enter from the left, carrying the "customer".]''}}
{{L|''[Cut to the inside of the house. SpongeBob and Patrick enter from the left, carrying the "customer."]''}}
{{L|SpongeBob|Careful, put him down gently.}}
{{L|SpongeBob|Careful, put him down gently.}}
{{L|''[Patrick drops the "customer"'s head. A glass breaking sound is heard. Cut close to the "customer".]''}}
{{L|''[Patrick drops the "customer"'s head. A glass breaking sound is heard. Cut close to the "customer."]''}}
{{L|Incidental 118C|''[in pain]'' Ow...}}
{{L|Incidental 118C|''[in pain]'' Ow...}}
{{L|''[Cut to SpongeBob.]''}}
{{L|''[Cut to SpongeBob.]''}}
{{L|SpongeBob|Poor, poor man. If there's anything, anything we can do to help you?}}
{{L|SpongeBob|Poor, poor man. If there's anything, anything we can do to help you?}}
{{L|''[Cut to the "customer".]''}}
{{L|''[Cut to the "customer."]''}}
{{L|Incidental 118C|There is one thing... as you can well imagine, my medical bills are extremely high, but luckily, I am able to keep myself alive by selling... chocolate bars. ''[gestures his head over to a massive stack of chocolate bar boxes.]''}}
{{L|Incidental 118C|There is one thing... as you can well imagine, my medical bills are extremely high, but luckily, I am able to keep myself alive by selling... chocolate bars. ''[gestures his head over to a massive stack of chocolate bar boxes.]''}}
{{L|''[Bubbles come up and cut to the next scene. Cut to the "customer" looking out his window as SpongeBob and Patrick walk by]''}}
{{L|''[Bubble transition to the next scene. Cut to the "customer" looking out his window as SpongeBob and Patrick walk by]''}}
{{L|Incidental 118C|Such nice boys, ''[Cut to a close-up of the "customer" laughing while looking at his cash, zipping his costume off to reveal himself as Incidental 118C from earlier who sold SpongeBob and Patrick the bags to hold the chocolate bars.]'' it does my heart good to con a couple of Class A sucker-roonies like those two! Ha ha ha!}}
{{L|Incidental 118C|Such nice boys, ''[Cut to a close-up of the "customer" laughing while looking at his cash, zipping his costume off to reveal himself as Incidental 118C from earlier who sold SpongeBob and Patrick the bags to hold the chocolate bars.]'' it does my heart good to con a couple of Class A sucker-roonies like those two! Ha ha ha!}}
{{L|''Cut to the street.]''}}
{{L|''Cut to the street.]''}}
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{{L|SpongeBob|''[simultaneously with Patrick]'' No, no! Don't hurt us. Please don't hurt me. No no. Please...}}
{{L|SpongeBob|''[simultaneously with Patrick]'' No, no! Don't hurt us. Please don't hurt me. No no. Please...}}
{{L|Patrick|''[simultaneously with SpongeBob]'' No! Have mercy on me! Please spare me!}}
{{L|Patrick|''[simultaneously with SpongeBob]'' No! Have mercy on me! Please spare me!}}
{{L|''[Cuts to Incidental 6 laughing manically.]''}}
{{L|''[Cuts to Tom laughing manically.]''}}
{{L|Tom|Finally! I've been tryna catch you boys '''''all day'''''! Now that I got you right where I want you... ''[turns back to normal]'' I'd like to buy all your chocolate. ''[holds up a large amount of cash]''}}
{{L|Tom|Finally! I've been tryna catch you boys all day! Now that I got you right where I want you... ''[turns back to normal]'' I'd like to buy all your chocolate. ''[holds up a large amount of cash]''}}
{{L|''[Cut to SpongeBob and Patrick looking shocked, chocolate bars fall out of Patrick's shorts, along with a Hershey's kiss. Cut back to Incidental Tom, SpongeBob, and Patrick. SpongeBob and Patrick are melting.]''}}
{{L|''[Cut to SpongeBob and Patrick looking shocked, chocolate bars fall out of Patrick's shorts, along with a Hershey's kiss. Cut back to Tom, SpongeBob, and Patrick. SpongeBob and Patrick are melting.]''}}
{{L|SpongeBob|Thank you for your patronage.}}
{{L|SpongeBob|Thank you for your patronage.}}
{{L|''[Bubbles come up and cut to the next scene. Patrick is pushing a wheelbarrow full of cash.]''}}
{{L|''[Bubble transition to the next scene. Patrick is pushing a wheelbarrow full of cash.]''}}
{{L|Patrick|Are we living the fancy life yet, SpongeBob?}}
{{L|Patrick|Are we living the fancy life yet, SpongeBob?}}
{{L|''[Cut to the money in the barrel. SpongeBob pops out.]''}}
{{L|''[Cut to the money in the barrel. SpongeBob pops out.]''}}
{{L|SpongeBob|Not yet, pally! First, we got to spend all the money.}}
{{L|SpongeBob|Not yet, pally! First, we got to spend all the money.}}
{{L|''[Cut to the two.]''}}
{{L|''[Cut to SpongeBob and Patrick.]''}}
{{L|Patrick|But what are we going to spend it on?}}
{{L|Patrick|But what are we gonna spend it on?}}
{{L|SpongeBob|''[thinking]'' Hmm...}}
{{L|SpongeBob|''[thinking]'' Hmm...}}
{{L|''[Bubbles come up and cut to the next scene, a boat in a bottle with "Fancy!" on top is seen at night. Cut to the inside of the boat.]''}}
{{L|''[Bubble transition to the next scene, a boat in a bottle with "Fancy!" on top is seen at night. Cut to the inside of the boat.]''}}
{{L|Squidward|''[walking in from the left]'' Good evening, sir. Table for one, please.}}
{{L|Squidward|''[walking in from the left]'' Good evening, sir. Table for one, please.}}
{{L|Teen 5|Sorry, but the whole restaurant has been rented to a private party.}}
{{L|Teen 5|Sorry, but the whole restaurant has been rented to a private party.}}
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{{L|Squidward|But it's my only night to be fancy! Oh, who could afford to rent out the whole restaurant?}}
{{L|Squidward|But it's my only night to be fancy! Oh, who could afford to rent out the whole restaurant?}}
{{L|Teen 5|Oh, a couple of rich entrepreneurs ''[leans over to Squidward]'' and their dates.}}
{{L|Teen 5|Oh, a couple of rich entrepreneurs ''[leans over to Squidward]'' and their dates.}}
{{L|''[Cut to SpongeBob, Patrick, Incidental 87, and the mom; Incidental 87 is seen holding a glass.]''}}
{{L|''[Cut to SpongeBob, Patrick, Mary, and her mom; Mary is seen holding a glass.]''}}
{{L|SpongeBob|So, how long have you two ladies known each other?}}
{{L|SpongeBob|So, how long have you two ladies known each other?}}
{{L|''[Pause]''}}
{{L|Baby Prunes|What? What did he say?}}
{{L|Mom|What? What did he say?}}
{{L|''[The screen fades to black.]''}}
{{L|''[The screen fades to black, ending the episode.]''}}
[[ru:Шоколад с орешками/Стенограмма]]
[[ru:Шоколад с орешками/Стенограмма]]
[[Category:Transcripts]]

Latest revision as of 22:42, 1 May 2025

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