Chopping Spree/transcript: Difference between revisions

Latest revision as of 19:51, 12 June 2025

Template:PatrickStarShow EpisodeTr Template:L Template:L Template:L Template:L Template:L Template:L Template:L Template:L Template:L Template:L Template:L Template:L Template:L Template:L Template:L Template:L Template:L Template:L Template:L Template:L Template:L Template:L Template:L Template:L Template:L Template:L Template:L Template:L Template:L Template:L Template:L Template:L Template:L Template:L Template:L Template:L Template:L Template:L Template:L Template:L Template:L Template:L Template:L Template:L Template:L Template:L Template:L Template:L Template:L Template:L Template:L Template:L Template:L Template:L Template:L Template:L Template:L Template:L Template:L Template:L Template:L Template:L Template:L Template:L Template:L Template:L Template:L Template:L Template:L Template:L Template:L Template:L Template:L Template:L Template:L Template:L Template:L Template:L Template:L Template:L Template:L Template:L Template:L Template:L Template:L Template:L Template:L Template:L Template:L Template:L Template:L Template:L Template:L Template:L Template:L Template:L Template:L Template:L Template:L Template:L Template:L Template:L Template:L Template:L Template:L Template:L Template:L Template:L Template:L Template:L Template:L Template:L Template:L Template:L Template:L Template:L Template:L Template:L Template:L Template:L Template:L Template:L Template:L Template:L Template:L Template:L Template:L Template:L

@@ Line 1: / Line 1: @@
-{{EpisodeTranscript}}
+{{PatrickStarShow EpisodeTr}}
+{{L|''[The episode opens with Patrick, wearing a robe in a chair near a campfire in his house. He is eating chocolate ice cream.]''}}
-*'''Patrick:''' Hello, didn't see you there.
+{{L|Patrick|''[looks at the camera]'' Hmm? ''[swallows]'' Hello. Didn't see you there. ''[tosses spoon, puts ice cream tub on like a cap]'' Welcome to Patrick's Reading Hour. ''[grabs a comic book]'' Tonight's selection is the comic book classic, "Pat the Hapless and the Search to Slaughter the Smell." ''[licks finger to turn the page]'' Our journey begins in the mystical land of Patgar.}}
-*'''Patrick:''' Welcome to Patrick's Reading Hour, tonight's selection is the comic book classic, "Pat The Hapless and The Search to Slaughter The Smell". (smacking lips) our journey begins in the mystical island of Patgar.
+{{L|''[A comic book panel is shown, where Pat the Hapless is holding a sword in front of a three-headed bird monster.]''}}
-*'''Bubble Bass:''' Give up, Pat the Sapless, you cannot defeat me now that I have control over the mind of the Jabbersquawky!
+{{L|Beelzebass|''[in the air]'' Give up, Pat the Sapless. You cannot defeat me now that I have control over the mind of the Jabbersquawky.}}
+{{L|Jabbersquawky|''[middle head roars, left head whistles]'' ''[right head speaks]'' Polly wanna crack your skull!}}
+{{L|Pat the Hapless|''[holds up sword]'' Puny parrot no match for Pat the Hapless. We'll make into excellent poultry feast.}}
+{{L|Beelzebass|Not if I send you to your alaka-doom! ''[controls the Jabbersquawky to go after Pat the Hapless]''}}
+{{L|Pat the Hapless|''[leaping in the air]'' Leedle, leedle, leedle, lee! ''[slices the heads off of the Jabbersquawky]''}}
+{{L|Beelzebass|Wha?}}
+{{L|''[The Jabbersquawky's remains fall to the ground, getting goo on Pat the Hapless.]''}}
+{{L|Pat the Hapless|People of Patgar, you are now safe from the beast.}}
+{{L|Civilians|''[cheering and applauding]''}}
+{{L|Beelzebass|Yeah, yeah, victory is yours, again. ''[snaps fingers to vanish]''}}
+{{L|Villagers|''[a stench hits their noses, disgusting them]''}}
+{{L|Pat the Hapless|''[covered in the stench, sniffs and sighs]'' That's the smell of victory, fragrance of champions. ''[jumps onto a Puffsaur]'' Ha-ha!}}
+{{L|Puffasaur|''[roars, retracts trunk as it smells the stench, a tear coming out of its eye]''}}
+{{L|Pat the Hapless|''[points ahead]'' Homeward, mighty Puffasaur. ''[rides through the town]'' You can all thank me later.}}
+{{L|Civilians|''[disgusted from the stench]''}}
+{{L|''[The stench envelops the screen as the Puffasaur has arrived at Pat the Hapless' home.]''}}
+{{L|Puffasaur|''[stops, then angrily tosses the stench away]''}}
+{{L|Pat the Hapless|''[still covered in the stench, enters his house and puts away his sword]'' Dragon, sweet dragon. ''[lounges in his chair and sighs]''}}
+{{L|''[The stench from his armpits spreads all throughout the house, and leaks outside.]''}}
+{{L|Pat the Hapless|''[sips drink]'' Hmm. Beverage more pungent than usual. ''[knocking is heard at the door]'' Who dares disturb Pat's quality time? ''[holds ax, then answers the door to see some people in cloaks]'' Have at thee! ''[lowers ax]'' Oh, it's just you, Dragon Carcass Owners Association.}}
+{{L|Middle DCOA member|We've been getting complaints.}}
+{{L|Left DCOA member|From the coven of neighbors.}}
+{{L|Right DCOA member|About ''[points]'' you.}}
+{{L|Pat the Hapless|What is it this time? ''[pulls down rope to show holiday lights]'' Crogsmas lights out of season? ''[holds lawn gnome]'' Lawn gnomes too tacky?}}
+{{L|Left DCOA member|''[holds hand up]'' Nah. The issue at hand is, ''[lowers cloak to reveal his face, nose clenched with a clothespin]'' you absolutely reek, dude.}}
+{{L|Middle DCOA member|Everyone's complainin'.}}
+{{L|Right DCOA member|''[both lower cloaks]'' Yeah, you gotta take a bath.}}
+{{L|Pat the Hapless|''[blows raspberry]'' Pat the Hapless don't have products for bath. Only products for ''[holds several bloody weapons]'' bloodbath.}}
+{{L|Middle DCOA member|''[holds out piece of paper]'' Here, take this.}}
+{{L|Pat the Hapless|''[drops weapons and picks up the paper]'' Huh? ''[reading]'' One free bath bomb at Bath & Bludgeon Works?}}
+{{L|Middle DCOA member|''[all pull up their cloaks]'' Clean up before tomorrow.}}
+{{L|Left DCOA member|Or you shall incur.}}
+{{L|DCOA members|''[moving backwards]'' A strongly worded letter! ''[leaves fly by in the wind as they fade out]''}}
+{{L|Patrick|''[narrating as Pat the Hapless jumps on his Puffasaur]'' So Pat the Hapless boarded his Puffasaur ''[scene transitions to Pat the Hapless riding his Puffasaur]'' and rode through the searing desert until he reached his final destination, ''[Pat the Hapless stops before a sign]'' the Shopping Maul.}}
+{{L|Pat the Hapless|''[rides Puffasaur to the front desk]''}}
+{{L|Buff guy|''[points down]'' Pay the parking fee to get in.}}
+{{L|Pat the Hapless|''[takes out two heads, which groan; tosses them into the container]''}}
+{{L|Buff guy|Is this some kind of sick joke? ''[points to a sign with a 3 and a fish head]'' It costs three heads to get in, or are you some kind of dummy that can't read? ''[laughs, then Pat the Hapless slides his head off]'' Oy! Happy shopping.}}
+{{L|''[The hand gate lifts up, and Pat the Hapless enters the building. Several other creatures are already inside.]''}}
+{{L|Pat the Hapless|Crog-darn it. Mall parking packed today. ''[points ahead]'' Hark on yonder, the compact parking! ''[squeezes between two creatures, which pushes both sides of them completely out of the way]'' Perfect. ''[lets go of the Puffasaur's ropes and slides down, then presses a remote to lock it in place like a car]''}}
+{{L|''[Two men with ski masks each crank a wheel to open a door. Pat the Hapless walks through.]''}}
+{{L|Pat the Hapless|Bellowing barnacles, mall vast. It will take eons to find bath bomb... bomb... ''[gasps, approaches a floating map and takes it]'' An enchanted mall map. ''[fist bangs the hand that held the map]'' Many thanks. ''[map extends along the floor]''Huh. Mall really is vast. ''[map ends near Beelzebass]''}}
+{{L|Beelzebass|''[holding action figure packages of him and Pat the Hapless]'' Which of these would look better on my collector's shelf? I don't have enough allowance to get both. Ooh, ''[drops figures]'' you.}}
+{{L|Pat the Hapless|My mortal--}}
+{{L|Beelzebass|Enemy.}}
+{{L|Pat the Hapless|''[holds his ax and yells, lunging at Beelzebass]''}}
+{{L|Beelzebass|''[lunges at Pat the Hapless]''}}
+{{L|''[Both scream again, then suddenly stop.]''}}
+{{L|Beelzebass|Wait a minute. We're not on the clock.}}
+{{L|Pat the Hapless|Oh, yeah. Sorry. Force of habit.}}
+{{L|Beelzebass|''[puts arm on Pat's shoulder]'' You're too dedicated to your job, my friend.}}
+{{L|Pat the Hapless|Pat struggles with work-life balance. Therapist say it no good.}}
+{{L|''[Both stand in silence for a moment.]''}}
+{{L|Beelzebass|''[clears throat]''}}
+{{L|Pat the Hapless|So, uh, Pat kind of in middle of quest here.}}
+{{L|Beelzebass|''[holds out hands]'' Yes, yes. Well, I-- I'm also on an important quest.}}
+{{L|Pat the Hapless|''[both cross paths]'' Oh, and since I didn't get to do this earlier. ''[slices Beelzebass' head off]''}}
+{{L|Beelzebass|Ooh. ''[chuckles, Pat leaves]'' You always were a thorough one. ''[sighs, picks up his head and leaves]'' At least I have something for my collector's shelf.}}
+{{L|Jabbersquawky|''[squawks past the screen as the scene transitions to Pat the Hapless looking at a map, which moves ahead as he walks.]''}}
+{{L|Pat the Hapless|''[narrating over himself]'' To get bath bomb, Pat must traverse the Court of Food.}}
+{{L|''[A smell pulls on Pat's face and gestures ahead, where a mermaid holds out corn dog samples.]''}}
+{{L|Mermaid #1|♪ Free. ♪}}
+{{L|Mermaid #2|''[holding plates of newt eyes]'' ♪ Free. ♪}}
+{{L|Mermaid #3|''[holding plates of chicken legs]'' ♪ Free. ♪}}
+{{L|Mermaids|♪ Free samples! ♪ ''[blink repeatedly]''}}
+{{L|Pat the Hapless|The food sample sirens. ''[walks ahead]'' Must not get distracted by their savory wiles.}}
+{{L|Mermaid #2|''[holds up a newt eye to Pat's face]'' Deep-fried eye of newt? ''[screams as Pat grabs her face to throw her aside]'' Whoa!}}
+{{L|Pat the Hapless|''[eats the samples]''}}
+{{L|Mermaid #3|''[holding up a philly cheese snake]'' Philly cheese snake? ''[gets tosses aside by Pat and screams]''}}
+{{L|Pat the Hapless|''[eats the samples]''}}
+{{L|Mermaid #4|''[holding a beverage]'' Boneba tea? ''[gets spun and tossed by Pat]'' Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa!}}
+{{L|Mermaid #2|''[holding up a centipede]'' Boiled centipede?}}
+{{L|Mermaid #3|''[holding up a dead lizard]'' Lizard kebab?}}
+{{L|Mermaid #4|''[holding up two pieces of cheese with eyes]'' Eye cheese?}}
+{{L|Mermaids|''[all speaking simultaneously]''}}
+{{L|Pat the Hapless|''[screams while holding his ax, then slices the free samples and the mermaids' hands to catch them with his mouth]'' Mmm, finger food. ''[walks away]''}}
+{{L|''[A video game style map appears, and Pat's character moves to the right.]''}}
+{{L|Patrick|''[narrating]'' Thus, Pat the Hapless continued on his quest, ''[Pat moves past a room indicated by a sword and shield]'' searching for the Bath & Bludgeon Works. ''[the Pat character moves back to where he started and gets frustrated]'' But he got a little lost, and he ended up back where he started.}}
+{{L|Pat the Hapless|''[reading map, groans]'' Pat grows ''[tosses map]'' weary of this mall. ''[to a fountain]'' Oh, almighty Crog, bestow such luck upon Pat the Hapless that he might complete his journey to Bath & Bludgeon Works. ''[turns around]'' While you work on that miracle, Pat the Hapless shall make camp. ''[falls asleep, snoring]''}}
+{{L|''[Two goblin-like figures appear, cackling. They carry Pat away, who wakes up.]''}}
+{{L|Pat the Hapless|''[wakes up, his limbs tied to a metal board]'' Huh? What's this? Torture chamber? ''[strains to try to break free, groans]'' Huh?}}
+{{L|Fred|''[stretches his legs out on a torture chamber, yelling]''}}
+{{L|Woman|''[walking along a spiky treadmill]'' Oh! Ow! Ow!}}
+{{L|Man|''[climbing wall of hot coals]'' Whoo! hot! Whoo! Oh, feel the burn. Feel the burn.}}
+{{L|Pat the Hapless|This worse than torture chamber. This Health and Fitness Center.}}
+{{L|Goblins|''[cackling, step out of the shadows to reveal themselves]''}}
+{{L|Blue goblin|That's right.}}
+{{L|Green goblin|''[shakes protein shake]'' Would you like a protein shake? ''[drinks shake, burps, then crushes it with his head, tossing it away]'' Or a complimentary stretch? ''[cranks a lever to make Pat's limbs stretch]''}}
+{{L|Pat the Hapless|''[groans]'' Why am I here? Pat the Hapless in peak physical condition.}}
+{{L|Green goblin|Are you sure? If you sign up today, ''[points to clipboard]'' you'll get a 20% discount off our ''[rubs clipboard in Pat's face]'' lifetime membership.}}
+{{L|Pat the Hapless|''[groans, breaking free as his muscles grow]'' Ahh! Ahh! Time to cancel your membership to ''[holds ax]'' life.}}
+{{L|Goblins|''[scream off-screen as slicing is heard]''}}
+{{L|''[The double doors are destroyed, and Pat comes out with the goblins' heads.]''}}
+{{L|Pat the Hapless|''[groans]''}}
+{{L|Green goblin|Okay, okay. How about we throw in a free water bottle? ''[both scream as Pat tosses their heads away]''}}
+{{L|Pat the Hapless|''[looks at map]'' Now, where that bath bomb? Huh?}}
+{{L|Blue fish|''[up above, opens a scroll]'' Hear ye, hear ye.}}
+{{L|Civilians|''[gathering around]'' Huh?}}
+{{L|Blue fish|There is but one bath bomb left in ''[the bath bomb is seen on a store tower in the store]'' Bath & Bludgeon Works.}}
+{{L|Pat the Hapless|''[off-screen]'' Bath bomb.}}
+{{L|Blue fish|''[off-screen]'' This last bomb is now 50% off!}}
+{{L|All but Pat the Hapless''[run off]''}}
+{{L|Pat the Hapless|Oh, no, you shan't! ''[throws ax]'' Hee-yah!}}
+{{L|''[The ax chops the four civilians' heads off. Pat catches his ax and the heads are tossed to the side.]''}}
+{{L|Pat the Hapless|''[runs and climbs up the tower]'' Finally, at long last, Pat the Hapless journey comes to its triumphant end. ''[tries to grab the bath bomb]''}}
+{{L|Patrick|''[grabs the bath bomb]'' Oh, boy!}}
+{{L|Pat the Hapless|Huh?}}
+{{L|Patrick|I forgot this comic came with a free jawbreaker. ''[puts the bath bomb in his mouth, slides his teeth, and swallows, making soap come out of his ears]'' Mm, lavender-flavored.}}
+{{L|Pat the Hapless|''[growls]'' All this for nothing? ''[eyes turn into bombs that explode; wields axe as lightning strikes]'' Leedle-leedle-leedle! ''[runs, turning into a giant saw blade, slicing off three customers' heads]''}}
+{{L|''[The three heads land on a kid's ice cream cone.]''}}
+{{L|Perfume lady|''[to Pat]'' Hello, welcome to the perfume department. ''[Pat comes by to slice her head off; her body sprays perfume on her head]''}}
+{{L|Pat the Hapless|''[shouts, then slices cobra heads off of three vases, which spill perfume on his body; exhales]'' Ooh, that feel better. ''[sniffs, perfume takes over his body]'' Hmm, stench of failure more pleasant than stink of victory. Hmm, ''[shrugs]'' call that a win. ''[walks off]''}}
+{{L|Heads|''[groaning as a janitor sweeps them up]''}}
+{{L|''[A head sweeps by the screen as the scene transitions back to Pat's house.]''}}
+{{L|Pat the Hapless|''[still having perfume stench, sips drink as a knock is heard at the door; growls, tossing drink, answers the door with arms crossed]'' Hmph.}}
+{{L|''[The DCOA members are seen.]''}}
+{{L|Left DCOA member|Well, have you done as we requested?}}
+{{L|Pat the Hapless|Pat cover with perfume, Death Knell Number Five.}}
+{{L|''[The perfume covers the DCOA members' faces, making their eyes red and tear up.]''}}
+{{L|DCOA members|''[scream]''}}
+{{L|Left DCOA member|It's somehow even worse than before! ''[all swell and blow up, collapsing]''}}
+{{L|Pat the Hapless|Huh. ''[closes door, sits in chair with glass]'' Ah, finally. Nothing else can ruin day. ''[his house tilts, making him fall onto the camera]''}}
+{{L|Patrick|''[snoring in his chair as the comic book falls]'' Huh? ''[sits up]'' Oh, sorry, folks. Sometimes reading bores me to sleep. ''[reaches for the comic book]''}}
+{{L|Pat the Hapless|''[growls, chops Patrick's head off with his ax]''}}
+{{L|Patrick|''[head falls on his body]'' I guess this is where we part. ''[camera irises out on his head]''}}