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{{Transcript-cleanup}}
{{EpisodeTranscript}}
{{EpisodeTranscript}}{{L|''[Mr. Krabs walks outside of his house, opens his mailbox, and then sticks his claw into it.]''}}
{{L|''[The episode opens with Mr. Krabs walking outside of his house, opening his mailbox, and then sticking his claw into it.]''}}
{{L|Mr. Krabs|''[With his eyes closed]'' Please be money, please be money. ''[Pulls out postcard from mailbox.]'' Oh! That's not money. It's from SpongeBob. ''[Puts on his glasses, and reads the postcard]'' "Dear Mr... Krabs, please come to my house tonight. I am having a free money party." Free money party!? This sounds too good to be true!}}
{{L|Mr. Krabs|''[with his eyes closed]'' Please be money, please be money. ''[pulls out postcard from mailbox]'' Oh! That's not money. It's from SpongeBob. ''[puts on his glasses, and reads the postcard]'' "Dear Mr... Krabs, please come to my house tonight. I am having a free money party." Free money party!? This sounds too good to be true!}}
{{L|''[Cuts to scene to show Squidward by his mailbox]''}}
{{L|''[Bubble transition to Squidward reading a postcard by his mailbox.]''}}
{{L|Squidward|''[Reads postcard]'' "Dear Squidward, come to my house tonight I am having a... ''[surprised]'' ...latte sipping contest?" This sound too good to be true!}}
{{L|Squidward|"Dear Squidward, come to my house tonight, I am having a... ''[surprised]'' ...latte sipping contest?" This sounds too good to be true!}}
{{L|''[Cuts to inside of Sandy's treedome]''}}
{{L|''[Bubble transition to Sandy reading a postcard.]''}}
{{L|Sandy|''[Reading postcard]'' "Please come by my house tonight. I'm having a science fair!" Oh, SpongeBob, this sounds too good to be true!" ''[Her science experiment fizzes]''}}
{{L|Sandy|"Please come by my house tonight. I'm having a science fair!" Oh, SpongeBob, this sounds plumb too good to be true! ''[her science experiment fizzes]''}}
{{L|''[Cuts to Larry lifting weights]''}}
{{L|''[Bubble transition to Larry reading a postcard while lifting.]''}}
{{L|Larry|''[Reading postcard]'' "I am having a weight lifting competition!?" This sounds too good to be true!}}
{{L|Larry|"I am having a weight lifting competition!?" This sounds too good to be true!}}
{{L|''[Cuts to Mrs. Puff at boating school]''}}
{{L|''[Bubble transition to Mrs. Puff at boating school reading a postcard.]''}}
{{L|Mrs. Puff|''[Gasps as she reads postcard]'' "A quiet evening studying the rules of the road!?" ''[Laughs]'' Oh! Ahem... That sounds too good to be true.}}
{{L|Mrs. Puff|''[gasps]'' "A quiet evening studying the rules of the road!?" ''[laughs]'' Oh! Ahem... That sounds too good to be true.}}
{{L|''[Cuts to the inside of the Chum Bucket]''}}
{{L|''[Bubble transition to the Chum Bucket.]''}}
{{L|Plankton|''[Reading postcard]'' "A meeting of the minds to discuss the ultimate downfall of the Krusty Krab!?" This sounds too good to be true!}}
{{L|Plankton|''[reading postcard]'' "A meeting of the minds to discuss the ultimate downfall of the Krusty Krab!?" This sounds too good to be true!}}
{{L|''[Cuts to Mr. Krabs knocking on SpongeBob's door]''}}
{{L|''[Bubble transition to Mr. Krabs knocking on SpongeBob's door.]''}}
{{L|SpongeBob|''[opens the door]'' Welcome, friends! Please come in!}}
{{L|SpongeBob|''[opens the door]'' Welcome, friends! Please come in!}}
{{L|''[Everyone walks inside]''}}
{{L|''[Everyone walks inside]''}}
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{{L|Plankton|And diabolical conspiracies?}}
{{L|Plankton|And diabolical conspiracies?}}
{{L|Sandy|And let's not forget the science fair!}}
{{L|Sandy|And let's not forget the science fair!}}
{{L|SpongeBob|The real reason I called you here was to watch this slideshow of photos from my family vacation!}}
{{L|SpongeBob|The ''real'' reason I called you here was to watch this slideshow of photos from my family vacation!}}
{{L|Squidward, Sandy, Mr. Krabs, Plankton, Mrs. Puff, Larry, and Pearl|I knew it was too good to be true!}}
{{L|Squidward, Sandy, Mr. Krabs, Plankton, Mrs. Puff, Larry, and Pearl|''[angrily]'' I knew it was too good to be true!}}
{{L|''[Patrick then bursts through the crowd]''}}
{{L|''[Patrick, wearing a popcorn sipping hat, then bursts through the crowd.]''}}
{{L|Patrick|Ahaha! Ahaha! Sorry I'm late, SpongeBob! I had to find my movie watching hat!}}
{{L|Patrick|Ahaha! Ahaha! Sorry I'm late, SpongeBob! I had to find my movie watching hat!}}
{{L|Plankton|That does it... I'm gone. ''[Plankton starts to leave, but the others exit, and Larry squishes him, followed by Pearl, Mrs. Puff, and Sandy, all stepping on him]'' Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow!}}
{{L|Plankton|That does it... I'm gone. ''[Plankton starts to leave, but the others exit, and Larry squishes him, followed by Pearl, Mrs. Puff, and Sandy, all stepping on him]'' Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow!}}
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{{L|SpongeBob|Where?}}
{{L|SpongeBob|Where?}}
{{L|Squidward|See, right there on the entire thing!}}
{{L|Squidward|See, right there on the entire thing!}}
{{L|SpongeBob|Oh! That's because Patrick keep spraying the camera with Cheese Fizz!}}
{{L|SpongeBob|Oh! That's because Patrick kept spraying the camera with Cheese Fizz!}}
{{L|''[Ripples to SpongeBob taking picture]''}}
{{L|''[Ripples to SpongeBob taking picture]''}}
{{L|SpongeBob|Patrick! You're spraying the camera with Cheese Fizz! The pictures will come out all orange and blurry.}}
{{L|SpongeBob|Patrick! You're spraying the camera with Cheese Fizz! The pictures will come out all orange and blurry.}}
{{L|Patrick|I can't help it, SpongeBob! I'm so excited about going on a family vacation with you and your parents that my aim is off! ''[Patrick sprays himself in the eye with Cheese Fizz.]'' See? ''[Patrick blinks, squirting the Cheese Fizz into his mouth and then lick his lips.]'' There we go...}}
{{L|Patrick|I can't help it, SpongeBob! I'm so excited about going on a family vacation with you and your parents that my aim is off! ''[Patrick sprays himself in the eye with Cheese Fizz.]'' See? ''[Patrick blinks, squirting the Cheese Fizz into his mouth and then licks his lips.]'' There we go...}}
{{L|SpongeBob|I know what you mean. Sometimes it feels like I've been waiting my entire life to go on this trip!}}
{{L|SpongeBob|I know what you mean. Sometimes it feels like I've been waiting my entire life to go on this trip!}}
{{L|Patrick|Really? Why is that?}}
{{L|Patrick|Really? Why is that?}}
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{{L|Margaret|SpongeBob! Don't leave your luggage behind! ''[points to Patrick]''}}
{{L|Margaret|SpongeBob! Don't leave your luggage behind! ''[points to Patrick]''}}
{{L|SpongeBob|''[laughs]'' That's not luggage, it's Patrick! He's coming with us, remember?}}
{{L|SpongeBob|''[laughs]'' That's not luggage, it's Patrick! He's coming with us, remember?}}
{{L|Harold|Well, shake a leg boys. The Great Barrier Reef isn't gonna visit itself!}}
{{L|Harold|Well, shake a leg, boys. The Great Barrier Reef isn't gonna visit itself!}}
{{L|Margaret|Your father's right son!}}
{{L|Margaret|Your father's right, son!}}
{{L|Harold|''[Muttering]'' They know I'm right...}}
{{L|Harold|''[Muttering]'' They know I'm right...}}
{{L|''[Cuts to the family driving.]''}}
{{L|''[Cuts to the family driving.]''}}
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{{L|Patrick|''[Drooling]'' And forts...}}
{{L|Patrick|''[Drooling]'' And forts...}}
{{L|SpongeBob|And ropes to swing on...}}
{{L|SpongeBob|And ropes to swing on...}}
{{L|Patrick|''[Still drooling]'' And forts.}}
{{L|Patrick|''[Still drooling]'' And forts.}}
{{L|SpongeBob|And a water park! ''[Camera zooms out, pans to Patrick drooling on map.]'' Oh wait, that's just where you drooled on it. ''[Closes brochure]'' I can't wait to get there! How about you?}}
{{L|SpongeBob|And a water park! ''[Camera zooms out, pans to Patrick drooling on map.]'' Oh wait, that's just where you drooled on it. ''[Closes brochure]'' I can't wait to get there! How about you?}}
{{L|Patrick|No, I can't.}}
{{L|Patrick|No, I can't.}}
{{L|SpongeBob|''[With his eyes closed]'' Yeah...}}
{{L|SpongeBob|''[With his eyes closed]'' Yeah...}}
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{{L|Harold|''[Singing]'' "And she threw it all away..."}}
{{L|Harold|''[Singing]'' "And she threw it all away..."}}
{{L|Patrick|''[Flies into windshield]'' Okay find me!}}
{{L|Patrick|''[Flies into windshield]'' Okay find me!}}
{{L|Harold| Egad!}}
{{L|Harold|Egad!}}
 
{{L|''[Car spins out of control, crashing into a sign for The Great Barrier Reef. The car crashes in the Outskirts Outlet Mega Mall, bouncing through. The car goes down the escalator, while a tan female fish looks over at the car, and doesn't seem to care. The car then crashes out of the mall, flying through the air, and landing on a race track.]''}}
(Car spins out of control, crashing into a sign for The Great Barrier Reef. The car crashes in the Outskirts Outlet Mega Mall, bouncing through. The car goes down the escelator, while a tan female fish looks over at the car, and doesn't seem to care. The car then crashes out of the mall, flying through the air, and landing on a race track. The car bounces off of a siren, and then circles the track. The car crosses the finish line, and wins the race. The crowd cheers, and the car crashes through the trophies, exiting the race. The car leaves the ocean, and flies into the air, eventually flying through space. The car hits the cow that jumped over the moon, and falls back down into the ocean. The car crashes between a multitude of rocks, before landing back on the road, and driving away with Patrick now inside.)
{{L|Announcer|There's the green flag and the race is underway. ''[The car bounces off of a siren, and then circles the track. The car crosses the finish line, and wins the race.]'' And we have a new winner!}}
 
{{L|''[The crowd cheers, and the car crashes through the trophies, exiting the race. The car leaves the ocean, and flies into the air, eventually flying through space. The car hits the cow that jumped over the moon, and falls back down into the ocean. The car crashes between a multitude of rocks, before landing back on the road, and driving away with Patrick now inside.]''}}
{{L|Spongebob: Maybe we should just sing the road song.
{{L|SpongeBob|Maybe we should just sing the road song.}}
{{L|Patrick: Road. Road. Road. Road.
{{L|Patrick|♪Road! Road! Road! Road!♪ ''[Continues for rest of song]''}}
{{L|Spongebob: (Continues for rest of song) When I'm on the road, I see stuff going by When I'm on the road.
{{L|SpongeBob|♪When I'm on the road, I see stuff going by. When I'm on the road,♪}}
{{L|Patrick:I got a bug in my eye.
{{L|Patrick|♪I got a bug in my eye!♪}}
{{L|Spongebob: When I'm on the road.
{{L|SpongeBob|♪When I'm on the road,♪}}
{{L|Margaret: Looks like clear skies ahead.
{{L|Margaret|♪Looks like clear skies ahead.♪}}
{{L|Spongebob: When I'm on the road
{{L|SpongeBob|♪When I'm on the road,♪}}
{{L|Harold|: Please stop touching my head
{{L|Harold|♪Please stop touching my head.♪}}
 
{{L|All|♪Let's all sing the road song!♪}}
{{L|All|: Let's all sing the road song.
{{L|SpongeBob|♪I wanna sing it all day long!♪}}
{{L|Spongebob: I want to sing it all day long.
{{L|All|♪Let's all sing the road song! Let's all sing along!♪}}
{{L|All|:Let's all sing the road song. Let's all sing along!
{{L|''[Song ends abruptly when fire starts on top of car. Cuts to show car from the outside.]''}}
 
{{L|SpongeBob|Um... anybody know any other good road tunes?}}
(Song ends abruptly when fire starts on top of car. Cuts to show car from the outside.)
{{L|''[Cut to the gang pushing the car, sans Patrick who thinks he is pushing the car, but is not pushing anything.]''}}
 
{{L|SpongeBob|How much farther to the nearest service station?}}
{{L|Spongebob: Um... anybody know any other good road tunes?
{{L|Harold|Probably pretty far son.}}
 
{{L|''[Cuts to show road sign that shows that the nearest service station is "Probably pretty far."]''}}
(Cut to the gang pushing the car, sans Patrick who thinks he is pushing the car, but is not pushing anything.)
{{L|SpongeBob|Oh, you're right!}}
 
{{L|''[Gang continues to push car, cut to them at a service station.]''}}
{{L|Spongebob: "How much farther to the nearest service station?"
{{L|Harold|So, uh, how's it lookin'?}}
{{L|Harold: "Probably pretty far son."
{{L|Service Station Worker|''[Pointing to objects in car]'' Well, it's got a cracked timing case cover, you've broken a couple teeth off the timing gear, your radiator is damaged at the core, you got a cracked water pump, and a fractured injector line.}}
 
{{L|Margaret|And what does all that mean?}}
(Cuts to show road sign that shows that the nearest service station is "Proabably pretty far.")
{{L|Service Station Worker|Well, little missy, in technical terms... if she don't wanna run, she don't wanna run!}}
 
{{L|''[Cuts to Margaret and Harold staring blankly.]''}}
{{L|Spongebob: "Oh, you're right!"
{{L|Harold|Uh-huh. So what are we looking at time wise?}}
 
{{L|Service Station Worker|Well, now, that depends... how much time ya got? ''[Service Station Worker starts laughing]''}}
(Gang continues to push car, cut to them at a service station.)
{{L|Patrick|''[Laughing]'' How much time ya- ''[All stare at Patrick]'' Not funny.}}
{{L|Harold: "So, uh, how's it lookin'?"
{{L|''[SpongeBob takes a picture.]''}}
{{L|Service Station Worker: (Pointing to objects in car) "Well, it's got a cracked timing case cover, you've broken a couple keys off the timing gear, your radiator is damaged at the core, you got a cracked water pump, and a fractured injector line."
{{L|SpongeBob|Hey at least they have a cozy-looking waiting room! ''[Points to outhouse.]'' Come on!}}
{{L|Margaret: "And what does all that mean?"
{{L|''[Cut to the gang in the outhouse. Harold is reading the paper and Margaret is knitting. SpongeBob and Patrick are waiting silently.]''}}
{{L|Service Station Worker: "Well little missy, in technical terms... if she don't wanna run, she don't wanna run!"
{{L|SpongeBob|Man, am I bored.}}
 
{{L|Patrick|I am beyond bored. I am... be...yond.}}
(Cuts to Margaret and Harold staring blankly.)
{{L|Margaret|''[Looking out window]'' Oh boys! Is that a playground I see?}}
 
{{L|''[SpongeBob and Patrick stare blankly for a few moments before running to the playground, hollering "Playground!" They slow down upon noticing all the mud around the playground]''}}
{{L|Harold:"Uh-huh. So what are we looking at time wise?
{{L|Patrick|Not the most colorful playground I've seen.}}
{{L|Service Station Worker: Well now that depends... how much time ya got?! (Service Station Worker starts laughing.)
{{L|SpongeBob|Mm-mmm. This looks more like a gray-ground.}}
{{L|Patrick: (Laughing) How much time ya got? (All stare at Patrick.) Not funny.
{{L|''Cuts to swings, slide, and see-saw. SpongeBob takes a picture.''}}
 
{{L|Margaret|Well I'll just let you two amuse yourselves and come back for you when the boat's fixed.}}
(Spongebob takes a picture.)
{{L|SpongeBob|''[Turns to Margaret]'' Actually this place seems a little bit-}}
 
{{L|Margaret|Have fun!}}
{{L|Spongebob: Hey at least they have a cozy-looking waiting room! (Points to outhouse.) Come on!
{{L|Patrick|Well, this is a nasty turn of events.}}
 
{{L|SpongeBob|You're preaching to the choir, Patrick.}}
(Cut to the gang in the outhouse. Harold is reading the paper and Margaret is knitting. Spongebob and Patrick are waiting silently.)
{{L|Patrick|''[Crosses arms]'' I knew it was gonna happen, too.}}
 
{{L|SpongeBob|You did? How?}}
{{L|Spongebob: Man, am I bored.
{{L|Patrick|''[Turns around to reveal Cheese Fizz spread across his shorts, reaches into pocket]'' Because it happens every time I keep my cheese fizz in my back pocket! ''[Sprays remaining cheese fizz into mouth before running out.]'' Darn! It's almost empty!}}
{{L|Patrick: I am beyond bored. I am... be...yord.
{{L|SpongeBob|''[Walking towards see-saw]'' Well, I guess we'll have to make the best of it. ''[Jumps onto see-saw while laughing.]'' This is fun! Hey Patrick, you- ''[SpongeBob's speech becomes incoherent as he sinks into the mud.]''}}
{{L|Margaret: (Looking out window) Oh boys! Is that a playground I see?
{{L|Patrick|''[Spraying Cheese Fizz into mouth]'' Huh? ''[Patrick walks towards the mud that SpongeBob had sunk into.]'' SpongeBob, were you talking to me? ''[SpongeBob reaches his arms out of the mud]'' I could have sworn SpongeBob was calling me from this direction. SpongeBob, where are you?!}}
 
{{L|''[SpongeBob pulls himself out from the mud by grabbing onto Patrick. Patrick is now sitting on top of SpongeBob]''}}
(Spongebob and Patrick stare blankly for a few moments before running to the playground, hollering "Playground!". They slow down upon noticing all the mud around the playground)
{{L|SpongeBob|Hey, Patrick.}}
 
{{L|Patrick|Huh? SpongeBob? Oh come on, where are you hiding? This isn't funny! ''[Looking around]'' Huh. ''[Puts hands on hips]''}}
{{L|Patrick:"Not the most colorful playground I've seen.
{{L|SpongeBob|''[Pokes Patrick]'' Patrick, I'm right here.}}
{{L|Spongebob: (Shaking head) "This looks more like a grey-ground."
{{L|Patrick|''[Looks at SpongeBob]'' Oh, hey SpongeBob! How'd ya get there?}}
 
{{L|SpongeBob|Well, I was on this see-saw-}}
(Cuts to swings, slide, and see-saw. Spongebob take a picture.)
{{L|Patrick|''[Yelling]'' Slide! ''[Bounces off of SpongeBob and onto slide. Patrick laughs and attempts to go down slide, but gets stuck and has to force himself down. The slide gets stuck to his bottom. Patrick tries to pull the slide off, but fails. The slide hits Patrick, and he goes flying.]''}}
 
{{L|SpongeBob|Patrick, do you need help?}}
{{L|Margaret: "Well I'll just let you two amuse yourselves and come back for you when the boat's fixed."
{{L|Patrick|''[Walks up to SpongeBob with side still stuck]'' Huh? With the slide stuck to my bottom? Nah, I want it there. ''[Patrick stands motionless for a second.]'' I hate you slide! ''[Pull slide off, flattening SpongeBob. SpongeBob sits motionless on the sand.]'' Oh, sorry SpongeBob. ''[Patrick pulls the slide off and throws it behind him]''}}
 
{{L|SpongeBob|''[Wobbles back up]'' Hey look, a swingset! ''[Flops over to the swings, pulling himself back up]'' Can't go wrong with this old-time playground favorite. ''[SpongeBob swings on swing set.]'' Weee. Hey, this is almost like being at The Great Barrier Reef, huh? Try it, Patrick.}}
{{L|SpongeBob| [Turns to Margaret) Actually this place seems a little bit-}}
{{L|Patrick|Okay. ''[Patrick sits motionless on swing.]'' It's not working.}}
 
{{L|SpongeBob|''[Swinging]'' Go back and forth like this. ''[Patrick starts swinging]'' There you go! Now you're getting into the... swing of things! ''[Laughing]''}}
{{L|Margaret: Have fun!
{{L|Patrick|''[Starts laughing]'' Hey, watch me go!}}
{{L|Patrick: "Well this is a nasty turn of events.
{{L|''[Patrick breaks the swing set and flies off, screaming]''}}
{{L|Spongebob: You're preaching to the choir, Patrick.
{{L|SpongeBob|Patrick?}}
{{L|Patrick: (Crosses arms) "I knew it was gonna happen, too.
{{L|Patrick|''[Rolls into fence, breaking it and starts falling down a slide]''}}
{{L|Spongebob: You did? How?
{{L|SpongeBob|Patrick! I'm coming!}}
{{L|Patrick: (Turns around to reveal Cheese Fizz spread across his shorts, reaches into pocket) Because it happens every time I keep my cheese fizz in my back pocket! (Sprays remaining cheese fizz into mouth before running out.) Darn! It's almost empty!
{{L|''[SpongeBob and Patrick slide down the water slide, screaming, while going down multiple sharp turns. SpongeBob and Patrick end up in a puddle]''}}
{{L|Spongebob: (Walking towards see-saw) "Well, I guess we'll have to make the best of it. (Jumps onto see-saw while fake laughing.) This is fun! Hey Patrick, you- (Spongebobs speach becomes incoherent as he sinks into the mud.)
{{L|SpongeBob|Patrick?}}
{{L|Patrick: (Spraying Cheese Fizz into mouth) "Huh? (Patrick walks towards the mud that Spongebob had sunk into.) Spongebob were you talking to me? (Spongebob reaches his arms out of the mud) I could have sworn Spongebob was calling me from this direction... Spongebob where are you?!" (Spongebob pulls himself out from the mud by grabbing onto Patrick. Patrick is now sitting on top of Spongebob)
{{L|Patrick|''[Muffled]'' SpongeBob?}}
{{L|Spongebob: "Hey Patrick."
{{L|SpongeBob|Patrick! Are you okay?}}
{{L|Patrick: "Huh? Spongebob? Oh come on, where are you hiding? This isn't funny! (Looking around) Huh." (Puts hands on hips)
{{L|Patrick|No, I'm not okay.}}
{{L|Spongebob: (Pokes Patrick) "Uh, Patrick I'm right here."
{{L|SpongeBob|You're not?}}
{{L|Patrick: (Looks at Spongebob) "Oh, hey Spongebob! How'd ya get there?"
{{L|Patrick|No, I'm great! That was awesome! Let's do it again!}}
{{L|Spongebob: "Well, I was on this see-saw-
{{L|SpongeBob|Yeah, Patrick, wait for me.}}
{{L|Patrick: (Yelling) "SLIDE!" (Bounces off of Spongebob and onto slide. Patrick laughs and attempts to go down slide, but gets stuck and has to force himself down. The slide gets stuck to his bottom. Patrick tries to pull the slide off, but fails. The slide hits Patrick, and he goes flying.)
{{L|''[SpongeBob and Patrick climb up the slide, falls back down]''}}
{{L|Spongebob: Patrick, do you need help?
{{L|SpongeBob|Something tells me that is a one-way drain.}}
{{L|Patrick: (Walks up to Spongebob with side still stuck) Huh? With the slide stuck to my bottom? Nah, I want it there. (Patrick stands motionless for a second.) I hate you slide! (Pull slide off, flattening Spongebob. Spongebob sits motionless on the sand.) Oh, sorry Spongebob. (Patrick pulls the slide off and throws it behind him)
{{L|''[Cut to SpongeBob and Patrick walking through a strange forest.]''}}
{{L|Spongebob: (Wobbles back up) "Hey look, a swingset! (Flops over to the swings, pulling himself back up) Can't go wrong with this old-time playground favorite. (Spongebob swings on swingset.) Weee. Hey, this is almost like being at The Great Barrier Reef, huh? Try it, Patrick.
{{L|SpongeBob|''[Groaning]'' How long have we been walking here, Patrick?}}
{{L|Patrick: Okay. (Patrick sits motionless on swing.) It's not working.
{{L|Patrick|Well, that depends on who you ask.}}
{{L|Spongebob: (Swinging) "Go back and forth like this. (Patrick starts swinging) There you go! Now you're getting into the... SWING of things!" (Laughing)
{{L|SpongeBob|Why?}}
{{L|Patrick: (Starts laughing) Hey, watch me go!
{{L|Patrick|Well, if you ask someone with a watch, they might be able to tell you.}}
(Patrick breaks the swingset and flies off, screaming)
{{L|''[Monster growling]''}}
{{L|Spongebob: Patrick?
{{L|SpongeBob|Are you getting hungry?}}
 
{{L|Patrick|Yeah! How'd you know?}}
{{L|Patrick: (Rolls into fence, breaking it and starts falling down a slide)
{{L|SpongeBob|I could hear your stomach growling. For a second I thought it was some scary monster coming to eat us.}}
 
{{L|''[SpongeBob and Patrick laughing]''}}
{{L|Spongebob: Patrick! I'm coming!
{{L|Patrick|That's funny! Couldn't have been my stomach growling though.}}
 
{{L|SpongeBob|It couldn't?}}
(Spongebob and Patrick slides down the water slide, screaming, while going down multiple sharp turns. Spongebob and Patrick end up in a puddle)
{{L|Patrick|''[Poking stomach]'' Nope. I had its vocal cords removed before the trip.}}
 
{{L|SpongeBob|Well, I could've sworn that I heard-}}
{{L|Spongebob: Patrick?
{{L|''[Monster growling]''}}
 
{{L|Patrick|SpongeBob, I heard it! I heard growling!}}
{{L|Patrick: (Muffled) Spongebob?
{{L|SpongeBob|No, that time it was my stomach. There's got to be something around here to eat. ''[Picks berry and puts it in mouth]'' Patrick, I found some berries we can- ''[SpongeBob inflates, body turns purple]'' not eat!}}
{{L|Spongebob: Patrick! Are you okay?
{{L|Patrick|''[Patrick eating]'' Thanks for the warning.}}
{{L|Patrick: No, I'm not okay.
{{L|SpongeBob|Patrick, where did you get ''[Pulls out needle, pops self]'' the kelp cake?}}
{{L|Spongebob: You're not?
{{L|Patrick|From the vending machine! ''[Camera pans to vending machine]''}}
{{L|Patrick:"No, I'm great! That was awesome! Let's do it again!
{{L|SpongeBob|Oh.}}
{{L|Spongebob: Yeah Patrick wait for me.
{{L|''[Monster growling]''}}
 
{{L|Patrick|Was it your stomach that time too?}}
(Spongebob and Patrick climb up the slide, falls back down)
{{L|SpongeBob|Nope. Run for your life!}}
 
{{L|''[SpongeBob and Patrick run]''}}
{{L|Spongebob: "Something tells me that is a one-way drain.
{{L|''[Small creature appears, growls]''}}
 
{{L|SpongeBob|It's getting closer! ''[SpongeBob and Patrick almost fall of cliff]'' Oh no! It's a sheer drop-off! What do we do?}}
(Cut to Spongebob and Patrick walking through a strange forest.)
{{L|Patrick|Don't ask me! I don't remember "being eaten alive" on this trip's itinerary.}}
 
{{L|SpongeBob|I'm too young to be digested! ''[Jumps onto Patrick, crying]''}}
{{L|Spongebob: (Groaning) How long have we been walking here, Patrick?
{{L|Patrick|Wait, SpongeBob! I know how to get us out of this!}}
{{L|Patrick: Well, that depends on who you ask.
{{L|SpongeBob|You do?}}
{{L|Spongebob: Why?
{{L|Patrick|I saw something like this in a movie once! Now watch closely, and do exactly what I do!}}
 
{{L|SpongeBob|Roger!}}
{{L|Patrick: Well, if you ask someone with a watch, they might be able to tell you."
{{L|''[SpongeBob and Patrick jump off of cliff]''}}
 
{{L|SpongeBob|Okay, now what?}}
(Monster growling)
{{L|Patrick|Uh... I'm not sure, I fell asleep in the second half of the movie!}}
 
{{L|''[Both screaming]''}}
{{L|Spongebob: Are you getting hungry?
{{L|Patrick|Well, I hope that monster's carrying some syrup!}}
{{L|Patrick: Yeah! How'd you know?
{{L|SpongeBob|Yeah, cause if he's eating us, he's having pancakes for lunch!}}
{{L|Spongebob: I could hear your stomach growling. For a second I thought it was some scary monster coming to eat us.
{{L|''[SpongeBob and Patrick land on sea anemone, bounce off and land on plant. SpongeBob and Patrick laughing with heavy breath]''}}
 
{{L|SpongeBob|Patrick, we did it!}}
(Spongebob and Patrick laughing)
{{L|Patrick|We're not gonna be eaten!}}
 
{{L|SpongeBob|Hooray for not being eaten!}}
{{L|Patrick: That's funny! Couldn't have been my stomach growling though.
{{L|Patrick|Hooray! ''[Laughing]''}}
 
{{L|SpongeBob & Patrick|We're not gonna be eaten! We're not gonna be eaten!}}
{{L|Spongebob: It couldn't?
{{L|Patrick|Hey, SpongeBob?}}
 
{{L|SpongeBob|Yeah, Patrick?}}
{{L|Patrick: (Poking stomach) Nope. I had its vocal cords removed before the trip." {{L|Spongebob: Well, I coud've sworn that I heard-
{{L|Patrick|All this not being eaten is making me hungry.}}
 
{{L|SpongeBob|Oh, don't worry. When we get to The Great Barrier Reef, we'll eat like kings!}}
(Monster growling)
{{L|Patrick|Alright!}}
 
{{L|SpongeBob|Alright! Now put 'er there, Patrick!}}
{{L|Patrick: "Spongebob, I heard it! I heard growling!
{{L|Patrick|Put 'er there!}}
 
{{L|SpongeBob|Ooh Patrick, have you been using a different moisturizer? Your hands feel kind of- ''[Screaming]''}}
{{L|Spongebob: No, that time it was my stomach. There's got to be something around here to eat. (Picks berry, puts in mouth) Patrick I found some berries we can- (Spongebob inflates, body turns purple) not eat!
{{L|''[Monster appears behind Patrick]''}}
{{L|Patrick: (Patrick eating) Thanks for the warning.
{{L|Patrick|Oh no, it's just the same old moisturizer I always use.}}
{{L|Spongebob: Patrick, where did you get (Pulls out needle, pops self) the kelp cake?
{{L|''[SpongeBob panicking]''}}
{{L|Patrick: From the vending machine! (Camera pans to vending machine)
{{L|Patrick|Oh, come on, SpongeBob, don't leave me hanging here!}}
{{L|Spongebob: "Oh."
{{L|''[SpongeBob panicking]''}}
 
{{L|Patrick|Let me guess, it's time to start screaming again?}}
(Monster growling)
{{L|SpongeBob|Wait a second. ''[Takes picture]'' Okay now. ''[Both screaming and running]''}}
 
{{L|''[SpongeBob and Patrick fall, SpongeBob grabs onto a vine while Patrick grabs onto SpongeBob's legs]''}}
{{L|Patrick: Was it your stomach that time too?
{{L|Patrick|SpongeBob, as much as I'd like to stay and hang around, I'm not sure now's the time.}}
{{L|Spongebob: Nope. ...Run for your life!
{{L|SpongeBob|I know Patrick, but now it seems to be- ''[Hands slip, SpongeBob starts hyperventilating]'' Our best possible course of action!}}
 
{{L|Patrick|''[Sweating]'' Well, I'd probably be really enjoying the view if I still had some blood flowing in my arms. Ow!}}
(Spongebob and Patrick run)
{{L|''[Vine starts to break]''}}
(Small creature appears, growls)
{{L|SpongeBob|Don't worry, Patrick, your blood flows not the only thing that's wearing thin! ''[Vine breaks, both screaming and swinging on a vine. SpongeBob sees different vine]'' Grab it, Patrick!}}
 
{{L|Patrick|Grabbing! ''[SpongeBob gets sleepy]'' Okay SpongeBob, your turn! SpongeBob!}}
{{L|Spongebob: "It's getting closer! (Spongebob and Patrick almost fall of cliff) Oh no! It's a sheer drop-off! What do we do??
{{L|SpongeBob|''[Snoring, wakes up and grabs vine]'' Oh, I got it!}}
{{L|Patrick: Don't ask me! I don't remember "being eaten alive" on this trips itinerary.  
{{L|''[SpongeBob and Patrick slide through the sand, land behind a rock]''}}
{{L|Spongebob: I'm too young to be digested! (Jumps onto Patrick, crying)
{{L|''[Monster looks around, shrugs and flies away]''}}
{{L|Patrick: Wait Spongebob! I know how to get us out of this!
{{L|SpongeBob|Whew, that was a close one, right Patrick?}}
{{L|Spongebob: You do?
{{L|Patrick|Yeah, but it looks like everything worked out just... fine... ''[Patrick laughing]''}}
{{L|Patrick: I saw something like this in a movie once! Now watch closely, and do exactly what I do!
{{L|''[Ringing noise]''}}
{{L|Spongebob: "Roger!"
{{L|SpongeBob|Patrick... Patrick, did you hear that?}}
 
{{L|Patrick|It sounded like it came from the other side of this big rock!}}
(Spongebob and Patrick jump off of cliff)
{{L|SpongeBob|This isn't a big rock, it's a big wall!}}
 
{{L|''[Camera zooms out to reveal "no parking" sign on brick wall]''}}
{{L|Spongebob: Okay, now what?
{{L|Patrick|Do you think it belongs to that gift shop right there?}}
{{L|Patrick: Uh... I'm not sure, I fell asleep in the second half of the movie!"
{{L|''[Camera pans to gift shop]''}}
 
{{L|SpongeBob|''[Walks up to gift shop]'' What would a gift shop be doing right in the middle of nowhere?}}
(Both screaming)
{{L|Patrick|Uh... selling gifts?}}
 
{{L|''[SpongeBob and Patrick enter gift shop]''}}
{{L|Patrick: Well I hope that monsters carrying some syrup!
{{L|SpongeBob|''[Looking around]'' Wow Patrick, look at all this stuff! ''[Taking multiple pictures]'' You gonna buy something?}}
{{L|Spongebob: "Yeah cause if he's eating us, he's having pancakes for lunch!
{{L|Patrick|No, I'm not in the market for any souvenirs.}}
 
{{L|SpongeBob|Oh, you could never have to many- ''[Gasps]'' Oh no! I just realized what this place is!}}
(Spongebob and Patrick land on sea anemone, bounce off and land on plant. Spongebob and Patrick laughing with heavy breath)
{{L|Patrick|You have?}}
 
{{L|SpongeBob|Patrick, we have walked straight into a ''[whispering]'' tourist trap.}}
{{L|Spongebob: Patrick, we did it!
{{L|Patrick|A trap!}}
{{L|Patrick: We're not gonna be eaten!
{{L|SpongeBob|Shhh...}}
{{L|Spongebob: Hooray for not being eaten!
{{L|Patrick|''[Whispering]'' A trap!}}
{{L|Patrick: Hooray!
{{L|SpongeBob|''[Sweating]'' Come on. Let's escape, before we spend all our money on useless trinkets.}}
{{L|Spongebob & Patrick: We're not gonna be eaten! We're not gonna be eaten!
{{L|''[SpongeBob and Patrick tip-toeing out of gift shop]''}}
 
{{L|SpongeBob|Patrick, wait, I saw a very nice driftwood sculpture over there that would work great as a mantelpiece.}}
{{L|Patrick: Hey Spongebob?
{{L|Patrick|SpongeBob, no! ''[cries, as SpongeBob walks off-screen]''}}
{{L|Spongebob: Yeah Patrick?
{{L|''[Cuts to Patrick spelling his name in the sand, SpongeBob enters crying and carrying multiple shopping bags]''}}
{{L|Patrick: All this not being eaten is making me hungry.
{{L|Patrick|SpongeBob!}}
Spongebob: Oh, don't worry. When ee get to The Great Barrier Reef, we'll eat like kings!"
{{L|SpongeBob|Patrick, that tourist shop took me for everything I had! Now we don't have any money, we're still lost, and we're gonna be in big trouble! Oh, this vacation is a disaster!}}
{{L|Patrick: Alright!
{{L|Patrick|SpongeBob I-}}
{{L|Spongebob: Alright! Now put 'er there, Patrick!"
{{L|''[SpongeBob bursts into tears and speaks gibberish]''}}
{{L|Patrick: Put 'er there!
{{L|Patrick|I don't think this vacation has been a disaster.}}
{{L|Spongebob: Ooh Patrick, have you been using a different moisturizer? Your hands feel kind of- (Screaming)
{{L|SpongeBob|You don't?}}
(Monster appears behind Patrick)
{{L|Patrick|''[Picks up brochure, opens]'' No! Of course not, see?! We did everything we dreamed of doing at The Great Barrier Reef.}}
{{L|Patrick: Oh no, it's just the same old moisturizer I always use.  
{{L|SpongeBob|Patrick, you're right! We went down a sewage pipe...}}
(Spongebob panicking)
{{L|Patrick|Like a slide.}}
{{L|Patrick: Oh come on Spongebob, don't leave me hanging here!
{{L|SpongeBob|Bounced off a huge anemone...}}
(Spongebob panicking)
{{L|Patrick|Like a trampoline.}}
{{L|Patrick: Let me guess, it's time to start screaming again?"
{{L|SpongeBob|Hid in a nest!}}
{{L|Spongebob: Wait a second. (Takes picture) Okay now." (Both screaming and running)
{{L|Patrick|Like a fort!}}
(Spongebob and Patrick fall, Patrick grabs onto Spongebobs legs)
{{L|SpongeBob|And swung on some vines! Which are a lot like ropes! This vacation has it all!}}
{{L|Patrick: Spongebob, as much as I'd like to stay and hang around, I'm not sure nows the time.
{{L|Patrick|''[Closes brochure]'' All except for one thing.}}
{{L|Spongebob: "I know Patrick, but now it seems to be- (Hands slip, Spongebob starts hyperventilating) Our best possible course of action!"
{{L|SpongeBob|What's that?}}
 
{{L|Patrick|A way out of here.}}
{{L|Patrick| (Sweating) "Well, I'd probably be really enjoying the view if I still had some blood flowing in my arms, OW!.}}
{{L|SpongeBob|My poor parents must be worried sick.}}
 
{{L|Patrick|I suggest we take a nap here until they come and find us! That way we'll be well-rested on the way home.}}
*(Vine starts to break)
{{L|SpongeBob|''[Walking away, Leaving his bags.]'' I suggest we start walking.}}
 
{{L|Patrick|I was afraid he was gonna suggest that.}}
{{L|SpongeBob: "Don't worry Patrick, you're patience isn't the only thing that's wearing thin! (Vine breaks, both screaming and swinging on a vine. SpongeBob sees different vine) Grab it Patrick!"
{{L|''[Cuts to SpongeBob and Patrick, singing The Road Song with tired, dry voices]''}}
 
{{L|SpongeBob|''[With tired, dry voice]'' ♪When I'm on the road...♪}}
{{L|Patrick: "Grabbing! (Spongebob gets sleepy) Okay SpongeBob, your turn! SpongeBob!" 
{{L|Patrick|''[With tired, dry voice]'' ♪I see stuff going by.♪}}
 
{{L|SpongeBob|''[With tired, dry voice]'' ♪When I'm on the road...♪}}
{{L|SpongeBob: (Snoring, wakes up and grabs vine) "Oh I got it!"
{{L|Patrick|''[With tired, dry voice]'' ♪Got a bug in my eye.♪}}
 
{{L|SpongeBob|''[With tired, dry voice]'' ♪When I'm on the road...♪}}
*(SpongeBob and Patrick slide through the sand, land behind a rock) 
{{L|Patrick|''[With tired, dry voice]'' ♪Looks like clear skies ahead.♪}}
 
{{L|SpongeBob|''[With tired, dry voice]'' ♪When I'm...♪ ''[Coughing]'' ♪...on the road...♪}}
*(Monster looks around, shrugs and flies away)
{{L|Patrick|''[With tired, dry voice]'' ♪Please stop touching my head.♪}}
 
{{L|SpongeBob|''[With tired, dry voice]'' ♪Let's all sing the road song.♪ ''[Clap Clap!]'' ♪I wanna sing it all day long. Let's all sing the...♪ ''[Coughing]''}}
{{L|SpongeBob: Whew, that was a close one, right Patrick?
{{L|Patrick|SpongeBob, maybe we oughta take a break from the singing for a while.}}
 
{{L|SpongeBob|Good idea, Patrick. I'll just play the road song on this whistle I got from the souvenir shop.}}
{{L|Patrick: "Yeah, but it looks like everything worked out just... fine... (Patrick laughing)
{{L|''[SpongeBob playing The Road Song on whistle. SpongeBob and Patrick passes Harold and Margaret without noticing]''}}
 
{{L|Harold|Oh, hey, son, we're ready to go.}}
*(Ringing noise)
{{L|''[SpongeBob continues playing, multiple animals begin to follow as he walks with Patrick through the forest]''}}
 
{{L|Patrick|Wow, SpongeBob, you're pretty good with that thing.}}
{{L|SpongeBob: "Patrick... Patrick, did you hear that?"
{{L|SpongeBob|Well, thanks, Patrick, glad you think so.}}
 
{{L|Patrick|Apparently I'm not the only one who does.}}
{{L|Patrick: It sounded like it came from the other side of this big rock!" 
{{L|SpongeBob|What do you mean? Who else could- ''[Camera zooms out to reveal the monster]'' Oh no, not again}}
 
{{L|''[The monster drops to the floor]''}}
{{L|SpongeBob: "This isn't a big rock, it's a big wall!)
{{L|Patrick|The whistle seems to have soothed it.}}
 
{{L|SpongeBob|I think it's offering us a ride!}}
*(Camera zooms out to reveal "no parking" sign on brick wall)
{{L|''[fruit fly points to its back]''}}
 
{{L|''[cuts to SpongeBob and Patrick on top of the monster]''}}
{{L|Patrick: "Do you think it belongs to that gift shop right there?"
{{L|Patrick|♪Road! Road! Road! Road! Road! Road!♪ ''[Continues throughout song]''}}
 
{{L|SpongeBob|♪When I'm above the road... All I see is sky. When I'm above the road... On a giant fruit fly. When I'm above the road...♪}}
*(Camera pans to gift shop)
{{L|SpongeBob & Patrick|♪He used to fill us with dread.♪ ''[Scream]''}}
 
{{L|SpongeBob|♪When I'm above the road... I'm as snug as a baby bug in bed! Let's all sing the Above the Road Song!♪ ''[Clap Clap!]'' ♪I wanna sing it all day long! Let's all sing the Above the Road Song!♪ ''[Clap Clap!]'' ♪Let's all sing along!♪}}
{{L|SpongeBob: (Walks up to gift shop) "What would a gift shop be doing right in the middle of nowhere?"
{{L|Patrick|Duh.}}
 
{{L|''[Giant fruit fly drops SpongeBob and Patrick back onto playground]''}}
{{L|Patrick: "Uh... selling gifts?"
{{L|SpongeBob|Thanks again! Patrick, I think that is the friendliest terrifyingly large insect I have ever had the pleasure of being carried off by.}}
 
{{L|Patrick|Me too.}}
*(SpongeBob and Patrick enter gift shop)
{{L|''[Margaret and Harold pull up in the car]''}}
 
{{L|Margaret|SpongeBob? Oh, there you are!}}
{{L|SpongeBob: (Looking around) "Wow Patrick, look at all this stuff! (Taking multiple pictures) You gonna buy something?"
{{L|Harold|Okay, boys, the boat is as good as new and we've got miles and miles of open road ahead of us.}}
 
{{L|Margaret|Boys?}}
{{L|Patrick: "No, I'm not in the market for any souvenirs."
{{L|''[Cuts to SpongeBob and Patrick sleeping]''}}
 
{{L|Margaret|Do something, Harold!}}
{{L|SpongeBob: Oh you could never have to many- (Gasps) Oh no! I just realized what this place is!"
{{L|Harold|He's your son, Margaret. He's your son.}}
{{L|Patrick: "You have?"
{{L|SpongeBob: "Patrick, we have walked straight into a (whispering) tourist trap..."
{{L|Patrick: A TRAP!
{{L|SpongeBob: Shhh...
{{L|Patrick: (Whispering) A trap!"  
{{L|SpongeBob: (Sweating) "Come on. Let's escape, before we spend all our money on useless trinkets..."
 
*(SpongeBob and Patrick tip-toeing out of gift shop)
 
{{L|SpongeBob: "Patrick wait, I saw a very nice driftwood sculpture over there that would work great as a mantlepiece."
{{L|Patrick: "SpongeBob no!"
 
*(Cuts to Patrick spelling his name in the sand, SpongeBob enters crying and carrying multiple shopping bags")
 
{{L|Patrick: SpongeBob!
{{L|SpongeBob: Patrick that tourist shop took me for everything I had! Now we don't have any money, we're still lost, and we're gonna be in big trouble! Oh this vacation is a disaster!"
 
{{L|Patrick: "SpongeBob I-"
 
*(SpongeBob bursts into tears) 
 
{{L|Patrick: I don't think this vacation has been a disaster.
{{L|SpongeBob: You don't?
{{L|Patrick: (Picks up brochure, opens) No! Of course not, see?! We did everything we dreamed of doing at The Great Barrier Reef.
{{L|SpongeBob: Patrick you're right! We went down a sewage pipe...
{{L|Patrick: Like a slide.
{{L|SpongeBob: Bounced off a huge anemone...
{{L|Patrick: Like a trampoline.
{{L|SpongeBob: Hid in a nest!
{{L|Patrick: Like a fort!
{{L|SpongeBob: And swung on some vines! Which are a lot like ropes! This vacation has it all!
{{L|Patrick: (Closes brochure) "All except for one thing.
{{L|SpongeBob: Whats that?
{{L|Patrick: A way out of here.
{{L|SpongeBob: My poor parents must be worried sick.
{{L|Patrick: I suggest we take a nap here until they come and find us! That way we'll be well-rested on the way home.
{{L|SpongeBob: (Walking away, Leaving his bags.) I suggest we start walking.
{{L|Patrick: "I was afraid he was gonna suggest that.
 
*(Cuts to SpongeBob and Patrick, singing The Road Song with tired, dry voices)
 
{{L|Patrick: SpongeBob, maybe we oughta take a break from the singing for a while.
 
{{L|SpongeBob: Good idea Patrick. I'll just play the road song on this whistle I got from the souvenir shop."
 
*(SpongeBob playing The Road Song on whistle)
 
{{L|Harold: Oh hey son, we're ready to go.
 
*(SpongeBob continues playing, multiple animals begin to follow as he walks with Patrick through the forrest)
 
{{L|Patrick: Wow SpongeBob, you're pretty good with that thing.
{{L|SpongeBob: Well thanks Patrick, glad you think so.
{{L|Patrick: Apparently I'm not the only one who does.
{{L|SpongeBob: What do you mean? Who else could- (Camera zooms out to reveal the monster) Oh no not again. 
 
*(The monster drops to the floor)
 
{{L|Patrick: The whistle seems to have soothed it.
{{L|SpongeBob: I think it's offering us a ride!
 
*(fruit fly points to its back)
 
*(Cuts to SpongeBob and Patrick on top of the monster)
 
{{L|Patrick: Road. Road. Road. Road. Road. Road. (Continues throughout song)
 
{{L|Spongebob: When I'm above the road. All I see is sky. When I'm above the road. On a giant fruit fly. When I'm above the road.
 
{{L|Spongebob & Patrick: He used to fill us with dread, (Scream)
 
{{L|Spongebob: When I'm above the road. I'm as snug as a baby bug in bed. Let's all sing the above the road song. I wanna sing it all day long. Let's all sing the above the road song. (Clap Clap!) Let's all sing alonnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnng
 
{{L|Patrick: Duh.
 
*(Giant Fruit fly drops SpongeBob and Patrick back onto playground)
 
{{L|SpongeBob: "Thanks again. Patrick I think that is the friendliest terrifyingly large insect I have ever had the pleasure of being carried off by."
 
{{L|Patrick: Me too. 
 
*(Margaret and Harold pull up in the car)
 
{{L|Margaret: "SpongeBob? Oh there you are!
{{L|Harold: "Okay boys, the boat is as good as new and we've got miles and miles of open road ahead of us."
{{L|Margaret: Boys?
 
(Cuts to Spongebob and Patrick sleeping)
 
{{L|Margaret: Do something, Harold!
{{L|Harold: He's your son, Margaret. He's your son.

Latest revision as of 08:51, 3 June 2025

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