Demolition Doofus/transcript: Difference between revisions
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{{EpisodeTranscript}} | {{EpisodeTranscript}} | ||
{{L|''[Squidward is hoeing his garden, SpongeBob's clock rings]''}} | {{L|''[Squidward is hoeing his garden, SpongeBob's clock rings.]''}} | ||
{{L|Squidward|''[sighs]'' Let the madness begin.}} | {{L|Squidward|''[sighs]'' Let the madness begin.}} | ||
{{L|SpongeBob|It's ''[comes out on his unicycle]'' driving test day!}} | {{L|SpongeBob|It's ''[comes out on his unicycle]'' driving test day!}} | ||
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{{L|SpongeBob|Yeah. It's a good thing too. One more crash and you would've popped for sure. Here, let me take that wheel.}} | {{L|SpongeBob|Yeah. It's a good thing too. One more crash and you would've popped for sure. Here, let me take that wheel.}} | ||
{{L|Mrs. Puff|No, SpongeBob! Don't touch that! Oh, dear!}} | {{L|Mrs. Puff|No, SpongeBob! Don't touch that! Oh, dear!}} | ||
{{L|''[Boat crashes into a tower, and an explosion occurs | {{L|''[Boat crashes into a tower, and an explosion occurs. Mrs. Puff wakes up in the hospital.]''}} | ||
{{L|SpongeBob|Hey, Mrs. Puff. How are you feeling?}} | {{L|SpongeBob|Hey, Mrs. Puff. How are you feeling?}} | ||
{{L|Mrs. Puff|''[deflated]'' Oh my. What happened to me?}} | {{L|Mrs. Puff|''[deflated]'' Oh my. What happened to me?}} | ||
{{L|Purple Doctorfish|I'm afraid you've had a serious accident. ''[ | {{L|Purple Doctorfish|I'm afraid you've had a serious accident. ''[pulls down a slide showing the inside of a pufferfish]'' It seems when you crashed, you ruptured your inflation sack. ''[pokes the pufferfish and pops it, making it deflate]''}} | ||
{{L|Mrs. Puff|Oh no! Will I ever be my old self again?}} | {{L|Mrs. Puff|Oh no! Will I ever be my old self again?}} | ||
{{L|Purple Doctorfish|''[flips over paper on clipboard]'' Umm, no, my dear, I'm afraid you'll never puff again.}} | {{L|Purple Doctorfish|''[flips over paper on clipboard]'' Umm, no, my dear, I'm afraid you'll never puff again.}} | ||
{{L|Mrs. Puff|''[gasps] | {{L|Mrs. Puff|''[gasps]''}} | ||
{{L|SpongeBob|Hmm, from now on, I guess we'll have to call you Mrs. Pop! ''[laughs]''}} | {{L|SpongeBob|Hmm, from now on, I guess we'll have to call you Mrs. Pop! ''[laughs]''}} | ||
{{L|Mrs. Puff|''[growls in fury as the images of SpongeBob in her eyes explode then leaps at SpongeBob, strangling his nose] | {{L|Mrs. Puff|''[growls in fury as the images of SpongeBob in her eyes explode then leaps at SpongeBob, strangling his nose]''}} | ||
{{L|SpongeBob|Mrs. Puff, what are you doing?!}} | {{L|SpongeBob|Mrs. Puff, what are you doing?!}} | ||
{{L|Mrs. Puff|This is all your fault!}} | {{L|Mrs. Puff|This is all your fault!}} | ||
{{L|SpongeBob|I'm sorry! Stop, Mrs. Puff! ''[laughs] ''That tickles!}} | {{L|SpongeBob|I'm sorry! Stop, Mrs. Puff! ''[laughs] ''That tickles!}} | ||
{{L|Mrs. Puff|Why can't you just graduate out of my life...?! ''[pinching noise]'' Oh. Ohh. ''[falls down] | {{L|Mrs. Puff|Why can't you just graduate out of my life...?! ''[pinching noise]'' Oh. Ohh. ''[falls down]''}} | ||
{{L|Purple Doctorfish|''[holds a needle]'' There! That should help her relax.}} | {{L|Purple Doctorfish|''[holds a needle]'' There! That should help her relax.}} | ||
{{L|SpongeBob|Sheesh! I don't know what she's so upset about! ''[puts his arm around the Purple Doctorfish]'' I think she looks better this way! If I always say, it's -- ''[gets pinched]'' a-doy. ''[also falls down]''}} | {{L|SpongeBob|Sheesh! I don't know what she's so upset about! ''[puts his arm around the Purple Doctorfish]'' I think she looks better this way! If I always say, it's -- ''[gets pinched]'' a-doy. ''[also falls down]''}} | ||
{{L|Purple Doctorfish|''[holds a second needle]'' Yes. Everyone needs to relax.}} | {{L|Purple Doctorfish|''[holds a second needle]'' Yes. Everyone needs to relax.}} | ||
{{L|''[Bubble transition back to the hospital] | {{L|''[Bubble transition back to the hospital.]''}} | ||
{{L|SpongeBob|''[holds flowers then knocks on Mrs. Puff's room door and opens it]'' Hello, Mrs. Puff. Are we feeling any better?}} | {{L|SpongeBob|''[holds flowers then knocks on Mrs. Puff's room door and opens it]'' Hello, Mrs. Puff. Are we feeling any better?}} | ||
{{L|Mrs. Puff|''[growls]''}} | {{L|Mrs. Puff|''[growls]''}} | ||
{{L|SpongeBob|I see you got the flowers I sent.}} | {{L|SpongeBob|I see you got the flowers I sent.}} | ||
{{L|Mrs. Puff|Yes. I'm allergic to them... and you.}} | {{L|Mrs. Puff|Yes. I'm allergic to them... and you.}} | ||
{{L|SpongeBob|Ah, this room is so dark and depressing! ''[walks over to the window]'' You need sunlight!'' [opens the window causing the sunlight to burst in also causing the flowers in the room to bloom] | {{L|SpongeBob|Ah, this room is so dark and depressing! ''[walks over to the window]'' You need sunlight!'' [opens the window causing the sunlight to burst in also causing the flowers in the room to bloom]''}} | ||
{{L|Mrs. Puff|''[sneezes, then inflates but quickly deflates]'' Ouch.}} | {{L|Mrs. Puff|''[sneezes, then inflates but quickly deflates]'' Ouch.}} | ||
{{L|SpongeBob|''[pushes a wheelchair]'' Come on, Mrs. Puff! You need to get out of this stuffy, old room!}} | {{L|SpongeBob|''[pushes a wheelchair]'' Come on, Mrs. Puff! You need to get out of this stuffy, old room!}} | ||
{{L|Mrs. Puff|I'm not leaving this bed! ''[gets lifted off the bed and onto the wheelchair]'' Whoa!}} | {{L|Mrs. Puff|I'm not leaving this bed! ''[gets lifted off the bed and onto the wheelchair]'' Whoa!}} | ||
{{L|SpongeBob|Up and at 'em! ''[pushes Mrs. Puff down the hall]'' Y'know what will make you feel better, Mrs. Puff? A nice peaceful stroll! ''[whistles, but then the alarm goes off noticing doctors pushing people on wheelchairs] | {{L|SpongeBob|Up and at 'em! ''[pushes Mrs. Puff down the hall]'' Y'know what will make you feel better, Mrs. Puff? A nice peaceful stroll! ''[whistles, but then the alarm goes off noticing doctors pushing people on wheelchairs]''}} | ||
{{L|Male Doctor|Clear the way! Injured coming through!}} | {{L|Male Doctor|Clear the way! Injured coming through!}} | ||
{{L|''[ | {{L|''[Another doctor pushes a guy on a bed and the head Doctor gets stopped by SpongeBob.]''}} | ||
{{L|SpongeBob|Excuse me! Doctor! What's up with those guys?}} | {{L|SpongeBob|Excuse me! Doctor! What's up with those guys?}} | ||
{{L|Purple Doctorfish|Oh, it's nothing serious. Just a caluty from this week's Demolition Derby! Come check out the carnage! It's actually quite entertaining.}} | {{L|Purple Doctorfish|Oh, it's nothing serious. Just a caluty from this week's Demolition Derby! Come check out the carnage! It's actually quite entertaining.}} | ||
{{L|''[SpongeBob pushes Mrs. Puff to the window and notices a bunch of guys crashing into each other] | {{L|''[SpongeBob pushes Mrs. Puff to the window and notices a bunch of guys crashing into each other.]''}} | ||
{{L|Purple Doctorfish|Pretty gruesome, huh? You gotta hand it to those guys! Risking their lives for our amusement!}} | {{L|Purple Doctorfish|Pretty gruesome, huh? You gotta hand it to those guys! Risking their lives for our amusement!}} | ||
{{L|Mrs. Puff|''[thinking]'' Risking their lives for our amusement? ''[has a thought bubble of SpongeBob getting crashed by four guys then dying. Still talking in thoughts]'' I could finally be rid of SpongeBob! ''[spoken]'' Forever! Ha ha! And I mean that in the worst possible way! ''[laughs evilly] | {{L|Mrs. Puff|''[thinking]'' Risking their lives for our amusement? ''[has a thought bubble of SpongeBob getting crashed by four guys then dying. Still talking in thoughts]'' I could finally be rid of SpongeBob! ''[spoken]'' Forever! Ha ha! And I mean that in the worst possible way! ''[laughs evilly]''}} | ||
{{L|SpongeBob|What's so funny?}} | {{L|SpongeBob|What's so funny?}} | ||
{{L|Mrs. Puff|''[stops laughing; turning her wheelchair to look at him]'' I... just thought of a way that you could earn extra credit.}} | {{L|Mrs. Puff|''[stops laughing; turning her wheelchair to look at him]'' I... just thought of a way that you could earn extra credit.}} | ||
{{L|SpongeBob|Hooray!}} | {{L|SpongeBob|Hooray!}} | ||
{{L|Mrs. Puff|''[to herself, evil look]'' Yes, hooray indeed...}} | {{L|Mrs. Puff|''[to herself, evil look]'' Yes, hooray indeed...}} | ||
{{L|''[Bubble transition to the Demolition Derby] | {{L|''[Bubble transition to the Demolition Derby.]''}} | ||
{{L|Mrs. Puff|''[laughing and comes out of the office with SpongeBob and a fish]'' So what do you say Captain Lutefisk? Will you enter him in the derby? For old times sake?}} | {{L|Mrs. Puff|''[laughing and comes out of the office with SpongeBob and a fish]'' So what do you say Captain Lutefisk? Will you enter him in the derby? For old times sake?}} | ||
{{L|Captain Lutefisk|Well, Puff, old girl! I wouldn't be I am today without your driving school. ''[walks over to SpongeBob]'' But I don't know. He looks kinda soft. ''[pushes down on SpongeBob's head] | {{L|Captain Lutefisk|Well, Puff, old girl! I wouldn't be I am today without your driving school. ''[walks over to SpongeBob]'' But I don't know. He looks kinda soft. ''[pushes down on SpongeBob's head]''}} | ||
{{L|Mrs. Puff|Looks can be deceiving! Observe! Here, SpongeBob. ''[takes out a steering wheel] ''Hold this. ''[gives SpongeBob the steering wheel and he suddenly starts to "drive" off and crashes] | {{L|Mrs. Puff|Looks can be deceiving! Observe! Here, SpongeBob. ''[takes out a steering wheel] ''Hold this. ''[gives SpongeBob the steering wheel and he suddenly starts to "drive" off and crashes]''}} | ||
{{L|Captain Lutefisk|Whoa-oa-oa! That kid's a natural! ''[SpongeBob returns and stops "driving"]'' But he's going to need a scarier identity. Derby's all about image! ''[snaps and takes off his shoe then his sock and uses a pair of scissors and starts cutting up the sock and puts it on SpongeBob's head] | {{L|Captain Lutefisk|Whoa-oa-oa! That kid's a natural! ''[SpongeBob returns and stops "driving"]'' But he's going to need a scarier identity. Derby's all about image! ''[snaps and takes off his shoe then his sock and uses a pair of scissors and starts cutting up the sock and puts it on SpongeBob's head]''}} | ||
{{L|SpongeBob|Look out, extra credit! Here I come!}} | {{L|SpongeBob|Look out, extra credit! Here I come!}} | ||
{{L|Mrs. Puff|''[to herself]'' Heh heh, yes! "Extra credit!" ''[laughs evilly] | {{L|Mrs. Puff|''[to herself]'' Heh heh, yes! "Extra credit!" ''[laughs evilly]''}} | ||
{{L|[Bubble transition to a crowd cheering in a stadium] | {{L|''[Bubble transition to a crowd cheering in a stadium.]''}} | ||
{{L|Captain Lutefisk|Welcome to the Bikini Bottom Demolition Derby! Allow me to introduce our contestants! ''[the camera switches to a giant, muscular purple in a shark-like boat]'' First off, fegin of crossing guards everywhere: The Kruncher! ''[crowd cheers for The Kruncher]'' And from the darkest depths of the brivin' blue: Divin' Bell Dale! ''[Divin' Bell Dale pounds his chest]'' And of course, you know and admire: Blow Torch! ''[Blow Torch breathes out fire]'' And the funniest driver of all: The Cackling Cruiser! ''[The Cackling | {{L|Captain Lutefisk|Welcome to the Bikini Bottom Demolition Derby! Allow me to introduce our contestants! ''[the camera switches to a giant, muscular purple in a shark-like boat]'' First off, fegin of crossing guards everywhere: The Kruncher! ''[crowd cheers for The Kruncher]'' And from the darkest depths of the brivin' blue: Divin' Bell Dale! ''[Divin' Bell Dale pounds his chest]'' And of course, you know and admire: Blow Torch! ''[Blow Torch breathes out fire]'' And the funniest driver of all: The Cackling Cruiser! ''[The Cackling Cruiser laughs]'' Now with introductions out of the way...''[notices SpongeBob drive up between the Kruncher and Blow Torch]'' ...Oh! I almost forgot! ''[laughs]'' The Squish!}} | ||
{{L|The Kruncher|Hey, Le Squish looks pretty "tough." ''[looks down at SpongeBob]'' Maybe we should give up now.}} | {{L|The Kruncher|Hey, Le Squish looks pretty "tough." ''[looks down at SpongeBob]'' Maybe we should give up now.}} | ||
{{L|''[The Kruncher and Blow Torch laugh alongside the crowd which then Mrs. Puff shows up laughing maniacally] | {{L|''[The Kruncher and Blow Torch laugh alongside the crowd which then Mrs. Puff shows up laughing maniacally.]''}} | ||
{{L|Captain Lutefisk|Okay, drivers! Start yer engines! And let the destruction begin! ''[waves his flag] | {{L|Captain Lutefisk|Okay, drivers! Start yer engines! And let the destruction begin! ''[waves his flag]''}} | ||
{{L|''[The Kruncher, Blow Torch, Divin' Bell Dale, and The Cackling Cruiser all drive off. | {{L|''[The Kruncher, Blow Torch, Divin' Bell Dale, and The Cackling Cruiser all drive off. The Kruncher then readies to crash into SpongeBob.]''}} | ||
{{L|Mrs. Puff|I can't look! Wait, yes I can!}} | {{L|Mrs. Puff|I can't look! Wait, yes I can!}} | ||
{{L|SpongeBob|''[notices the Kruncher driving at him]'' Ah! ''[The Kruncher ends of driving into SpongeBob's mouth, stretching him out; which causes him to stop in mid air] | {{L|SpongeBob|''[notices the Kruncher driving at him]'' Ah! ''[The Kruncher ends of driving into SpongeBob's mouth, stretching him out; which causes him to stop in mid air]''}} | ||
{{L|The Kruncher|What the hey? ''[gets sent crashing into the wall by SpongeBob; everyone cheers except for Mrs. Puff]''}} | {{L|The Kruncher|What the hey? ''[gets sent crashing into the wall by SpongeBob; everyone cheers except for Mrs. Puff]''}} | ||
{{L|Mrs. Puff|''[shocked]'' What? This is not going well...}} | {{L|Mrs. Puff|''[shocked]'' What? This is not going well...}} | ||
{{L|SpongeBob|Huh? ''[notices Divin' Bell Dale driving toward him]'' Oh, dear. I think I'm in that fellow's way. ''[turns the key as Dale gets closer]'' Engage turn signals.''[turns on turn signals as Dale gets even closer]'' Adjust mirrors.''[adjusts mirrors as Dale is even closer now] ''Hands at ten and two, and finally... floor it! ''[laughs and the back wheels on his boat spin fast causing dirt to fly at Dale's helmet which blinds him] | {{L|SpongeBob|Huh? ''[notices Divin' Bell Dale driving toward him]'' Oh, dear. I think I'm in that fellow's way. ''[turns the key as Dale gets closer]'' Engage turn signals.''[turns on turn signals as Dale gets even closer]'' Adjust mirrors.''[adjusts mirrors as Dale is even closer now] ''Hands at ten and two, and finally... floor it! ''[laughs and the back wheels on his boat spin fast causing dirt to fly at Dale's helmet which blinds him]''}} | ||
{{L|The Kruncher|''[drives out of hole in the wall] ''Oh, what happened?'' [notices Dale swerving around and he eventually crashes into him] | {{L|The Kruncher|''[drives out of hole in the wall] ''Oh, what happened?'' [notices Dale swerving around and he eventually crashes into him]''}} | ||
{{L|Mrs. Puff|''[angry]'' What is wrong with you guys?! Squash the Squish! ''[notices Blow Torch ramming SpongeBob into the air]'' Yes!}} | {{L|Mrs. Puff|''[angry]'' What is wrong with you guys?! Squash the Squish! ''[notices Blow Torch ramming SpongeBob into the air]'' Yes!}} | ||
{{L|Blow Torch|''[laughs and snorts] | {{L|Blow Torch|''[laughs and snorts]''}} | ||
{{L|''[SpongeBob flies out and back into the water and one of his back wheels land on Blow Torch's face. SpongeBob then pushes the gas pedal causing him to literally run off Blow Torch's face] | {{L|''[SpongeBob flies out and back into the water and one of his back wheels land on Blow Torch's face. SpongeBob then pushes the gas pedal causing him to literally run off Blow Torch's face.]''}} | ||
{{L|Captain Lutefisk|Oh! Ooh! Le Squish turns it around with a rare face trend maneuver!}} | {{L|Captain Lutefisk|Oh! Ooh! Le Squish turns it around with a rare face trend maneuver!}} | ||
{{L|Mrs. Puff|''[cries] | {{L|Mrs. Puff|''[cries.]''}} | ||
{{L|SpongeBob|''[notices all of the drivers surround him]'' Mrs. Puff! What should I...}} | {{L|SpongeBob|''[notices all of the drivers surround him]'' Mrs. Puff! What should I...}} | ||
{{L|Mrs. Puff|Why... are you still... alive?!}} | {{L|Mrs. Puff|Why... are you still... alive?!}} | ||
{{L|SpongeBob|"Put it in drive"? Thanks, Mrs. Puff, you're the best! ''[tries to put it in drive the The Cackling Cruiser crashes into him from behind, but he bounces off the wall and back into the Cruiser causing him to crash into the wall and his wheels fall off. SpongeBob goes flying over The Kruncher who then crashes into The Cackling Cruiser. SpongeBob then avoids Blow Torch, Divin' Bell Dale, and some unknown driver which they all end up driving into a fish on a boat. All of the wreckage start flying by Mrs. Puff and the crowd which they look in awe] | {{L|SpongeBob|"Put it in drive"? Thanks, Mrs. Puff, you're the best! ''[tries to put it in drive the The Cackling Cruiser crashes into him from behind, but he bounces off the wall and back into the Cruiser causing him to crash into the wall and his wheels fall off. SpongeBob goes flying over The Kruncher who then crashes into The Cackling Cruiser. SpongeBob then avoids Blow Torch, Divin' Bell Dale, and some unknown driver which they all end up driving into a fish on a boat. All of the wreckage start flying by Mrs. Puff and the crowd which they look in awe]''}} | ||
{{L|Mrs. Puff|Curse you, SpongeBob!}} | {{L|Mrs. Puff|[enraged] Curse you, SpongeBob!}} | ||
{{L|SpongeBob|''[still driving]'' What's that, Mrs. Puff? ''[about the drive into Blow Torch] | {{L|SpongeBob|''[still driving]'' What's that, Mrs. Puff? ''[about the drive into Blow Torch]''}} | ||
{{L|Blow Torch|''[laughs]'' I got you this time! ''[SpongeBob ends up driving up the front on his boat and then Blow Torch crashes. SpongeBob goes flying back in the other direction] | {{L|Blow Torch|''[laughs]'' I got you this time! ''[SpongeBob ends up driving up the front on his boat and then Blow Torch crashes. SpongeBob goes flying back in the other direction]''}} | ||
{{L|Mrs. Puff|This is it! Ha ha! Yes! ...Huh?}} | {{L|Mrs. Puff|This is it! Ha ha! Yes! ...Huh?}} | ||
{{L|''[SpongeBob ends up on top of the wreckage still intact. The crowd then cheers for him] | {{L|''[SpongeBob ends up on top of the wreckage still intact. The crowd then cheers for him, except for Mrs. Puff, who is both dismayed and furious to see SpongeBob still alive.]''}} | ||
{{L|Mrs. Puff| | {{L|Mrs. Puff|If you want someone demolished, I guess you have to demolish them yourself! ''[angrily pushes down Fred and appears in a giant monster boat wearing a helmet and jump suit while being extremely livid]'' Not so fast! There's one more challenger! I'm... The Huff! ''[drives toward SpongeBob then at the crowd which she starts to drive away from the derby. She then notices the crowd on her windshield]'' You're blocking my view! ''[turns on the windshield wipers and knocks the people off her windshield. Then she continues to pursue SpongeBob laughing evilly as they drive back to her boating school. They start driving around the course, SpongeBob avoiding her as she destroys all the obstacles]''}} | ||
{{L|SpongeBob| ''[screams as he jumps through a hoop]''}} | {{L|SpongeBob| ''[screams as he jumps through a hoop]''}} | ||
{{L|Mrs. Puff|''[laughing more]'' Huh? ''[she and SpongeBob drive right into the classroom destroying it in the process] | {{L|Mrs. Puff|''[laughing more]'' Huh? ''[she and SpongeBob drive right into the classroom destroying it in the process]''}} | ||
{{L|SpongeBob|Mrs. Puff! It's you! ''[Mrs. Puff then inflates]'' And you're all "puffy" again! Now everything's back to normal!}} | {{L|SpongeBob|Mrs. Puff! It's you! ''[Mrs. Puff then inflates]'' And you're all "puffy" again! Now everything's back to normal!}} | ||
{{L|''[The entire building then collapses on them] | {{L|''[The entire building then collapses on them.]''}} | ||
{{L|Mrs. Puff|Yes, perfectly normal.}} | {{L|Mrs. Puff|Yes, perfectly normal.}} | ||
Latest revision as of 22:43, 1 May 2025
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