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Transcript of [[Enchanted Tiki Dreams]].
{{EpisodeTranscript}}
 
{{L|''[The episode begins at Squidward's house, where Squidward walks up and puts on his hat, then opens his door.]''}}
(Starts at squidward's house. He walks up and puts on his hat. Opens his door.)
{{L|Squidward|Okay, beloved sanctuary.'' [lifts a tentacle]'' I'll see you after work. ''[cuts to the "Beloved Sanctuary"]'' And we'll have a nice, relaxing evening. ''[cuts to Squidward]'' Just you and me. ''[slams the door]'' That is, Of course, if I can survive another day ''[walks across his lawn]'' with GratingBob ShrillPants.}}
 
{{L|Patrick|''[cuts to Patrick and SpongeBob]'' Ooh!}}
Squidward:
{{L|''[SpongeBob starts laughing. Patrick throws a big rock onto SpongeBob with his body. Patrick and SpongeBob laugh.]''}}
 
{{L|Squidward|Hmm. ''[walks towards the Krusty Krab]'' Wow. Those two are just so amazingly stupid.}}
Ok, Beloved Sanctuary.(lifts a tentacle) I'll See you after work! (shoots to "Beloved Sanctuary") And we'll have a nice, relaxing evening. (Shoots to squidward) Just you and me. (Slams door)
{{L|''[SpongeBob grunts. Patrick is thrown, bending Squidward's neck. SpongeBob jumps on Squidward's broken neck, laughing. Squidward falls, then gets up and fixes his neck.]''}}
 
{{L|Squidward|Grrr!}}
That is, Of course, if i can survive another day (Walks across his lawn) with Gratingbob Shrillpants.
{{L|''[SpongeBob and Patrick laugh, then Patrick rolls next to SpongeBob and throws him by the legs. SpongeBob screams. Patrick walks up and he and SpongeBob laugh. Cuts to Squidward. SpongeBob throws Patrick and laughs.]''}}
 
{{L|SpongeBob|Ahh. Isn't this fun?}}
Patrick:
{{L|Patrick|Yeah! I love playing Buddy Toss! ''[Squidward walks past them]''}}
 
{{L|SpongeBob|Good morning, Squidward! See you at work!}}
(Shoots to patrick and spongebob) OOH!
{{L|''[Bubble transition to the Krusty Krab. Squidward is shown reading a newspaper.]''}}
 
{{L|SpongeBob|Ow! ''[this causes Squidward's newspaper to fly out of his hands]''}}
Spongebob:
{{L|''[SpongeBob laughs, then squirts mustard into Patrick's eyes.]''}}
 
{{L|Patrick|Ow!}}
Dayayayayyaya!
{{L|''[The room rumbles.]''}}
 
{{L|Squidward|''[groans]'' Okay. I can do this. Just put them out of my mi...}}
(Patrick throws a big rock onto spongebob)
{{L|SpongeBob|Ow! ''[laughs]''}}
 
{{L|French Narrator|One extremely annoying shift later...}}
(Patrick and spongebob laugh)
{{L|Squidward|''[screams and runs into his house. Locks door using every type of lock. Comes to crossword puzzle]'' A nine-letter word for annoying: SpongeBob. ''[writes "SpongeBob" on crossword]'' Ugh. ''[wipes his face]'' Finally. Some peace and quiet. ''[takes off his hat and puts his feet into slippers]'' No more SpongeBob, Just me, myself and home sweet home. ''[sits on his chair]'' Ahh. Nothing like a squid's good ol' chair to soothe the pains of a rough day. Just relax and contemplate some me time. ''[walks to the record player and disc]'' Perhaps I will dance to some soothing dance records. ''[puts the disc on the player and snaps fingers to the beat as well as dances]'' Or I could dabble a little on painting! ''[walks to the paint and pallet and paints, then sighs]'' Yup. I sure am looking forward to it. ''[Carlos Eel stings Patrick off-screen]''}}
 
{{L|''[SpongeBob and Patrick laugh.]''}}
Squidward:
{{L|''[Carlos Eel stings Patrick again.]''}}
 
{{L|''[SpongeBob and Patrick laugh again.]''}}
Hm. (Walks towards krusty krab) Wow. Those two are just so amazingly stupid.
{{L|''[Carlos Eel stings Patrick a third time.]''}}
 
{{L|''[SpongeBob and Patrick laugh more.]''}}
Spongebob:
{{L|Squidward|No, no, no! ''[walks to window and sees SpongeBob stinging Patrick with Carlos Eel. They laugh and Squidward growls and exits his house]''}}
 
{{L|SpongeBob|Something Squidward this way comes.}}
AAAH!
{{L|Squidward|Alright, you two. I am trying to have a relaxing evening. What in the world are you doing out here?}}
 
{{L|Patrick|Trying to have a relaxing evening.}}
(Patrick is thrown, bending squidward's neck)
{{L|SpongeBob|We're playing flashlight tag.}}
 
{{L|Squidward|You're playing flashlight tag with an electric eel?}}
(Spongebob jumps on squidward's broken neck, laughing. Squidward falls)
{{L|SpongeBob|We're using the advanced rules.}}
 
{{L|Squidward|Advanced rules? ''[growls]'' That has got to be the most ridiculous thing I have ever-}}
(Squidward gets up and fixes his neck)
{{L|''[Patrick grabs Carlos Eel and has it sting Squidward who screeches.]''}}
 
{{L|Patrick|You're it.}}
Squidward:
{{L|''[Squidward gets a rash then screams and runs away.]''}}
 
{{L|SpongeBob|Oh, well played, Patrick!}}
GRRR!
{{L|''[Squidward runs home, sobbing hysterically and rams into his house wall, becoming dazed, and the window rings fall at him and then the nose crushes him. Squidward digs his way into his house.]''}}
 
{{L|Patrick|Shocking!}}
Spongebob And Patrick:
{{L|Carlos Eel|''[sarcastically]'' How original.}}
 
{{L|''[The scene cuts to Squidward's house where he is under his chair in a fetal position.]''}}
DEEDEEHEE!
{{L|Squidward|''[crying]'' All I really want is to live in a world where I can just relax in peace ''[sniffs]'' and quiet. Is that too much to ask? ''[sniffles again. SpongeBob pokes Squidward's head twice with a stick. Squidward tearfully looks up at him and Patrick]''}}
 
{{L|SpongeBob|Squidward, we're playing tag! Not hide and seek, you silly!}}
(Patrick rolls next to spongebob and throws him by the legs)
{{L|Patrick|But we like hide and go seek too, if you want to play that.}}
 
{{L|Squidward|''[still crying]'' All I really want is to live in a world where I can just relax ''[sniffles]'' in peace!'' [quietly whimpers. SpongeBob finally realizes something is wrong with Squidward]''}}
Spongebob:
{{L|SpongeBob|Patrick, Squidward is really, really sad.}}
 
{{L|Patrick|You're right. Let's go poke someone else.}}
AAAAH!
{{L|SpongeBob|How about instead, we do something extra special for him! Then he won't be sad anymore!}}
 
{{L|Patrick|Oh, I get it. It'll be like the time I was feeling impressed, and you let me eat all of Gary's... I mean feed Gary for a week.}}
(Patrick walks up and both laugh)
{{L|SpongeBob|Patrick, this has to be extra special, and we should probably vow to it.}}
 
{{L|Patrick|Vow?}}
(Shoots to squidward)
{{L|SpongeBob|Yeah, vow.}}
 
{{L|Patrick|Well, how about instead of vowing, we just do it?}}
(Spongebob Throws patrick and laughs)
{{L|SpongeBob|I like it!}}
 
{{L|''[Bubble transition to later that night.]''}}
Spongebob:
{{L|Squidward|''[in bed]'' Good night... lamp. ''[turns his lamp off. Then, sawing and hammering noises begin outside and he turns the lamp back on]'' I guess having a relaxing evening meant saying up all night with power tools! Well, it's not that late, even morons need to sleep sometime.}}
 
{{L|''[The clock spins around until morning and construction sounds are still there.]''}}
Ahh. Isn't this fun?
{{L|Squidward|I can't take it anymore!}}
 
{{L|''[Squidward runs downstairs grumbling.]''}}
Patrick:
{{L|Squidward|When I get those two, I am gonna...! ''[opens the door]'' All right, you two, I... ''[gasps. he walks out his door to a Hawaiian-like beach with tikis, palms, and waterfalls]''}}
 
{{L|Squidward|It's, it's, it's... beautiful! ''[gazes in amazement]'' It's too good to be true! ''[sadly]'' It's a mirage! I knew it! ''[starts walking back to his house]'' I guess this is it. ''[Gary walks by with a coconut and Squidward grabs it]'' Insanity.}}
Yeah! I Love playing buddy toss! (Squidward walks past them)
{{L|''[SpongeBob slingshots a Hawaiian shirt on him. Patrick uses a fishing pole to reel down a hat, sunglasses, and a lei and drapes it around Squidward's head.]''}}
 
{{L|Squidward|''[sadly]'' Next stop, padded room at the cephalopod home! ''[weeps, then looks at his drink and sighs]'' Just go with it, Squiddy.}}
Spongebob:
{{L|''[Squidward walks around a bit, drinking his coconut along the way, then comes to a waterfall, goes inside, and takes a shower. Then he comes back out to see a tiki boat waiting for him. He gets in and floats down a stream, drinking the coconut. Then he realizes it is empty.]''}}
 
{{L|Squidward|Empty? ''[notices a tiki bar ahead and stops]'' A refill, my good man! What the? ''[notices Patrick behind the bar blending a smoothie]'' Patrick?! What are you doing here?!}}
Good Morning squidward! See you at work!
{{L|''[Patrick turns around and pours the drink into Squidward's coconut. While he takes out a newspaper and reads it, Squidward drinks the drink.]''}}
 
{{L|Squidward|It's delicious! What is it?}}
(Shoots to Krusty Krab)
{{L|Patrick|A smoothie.}}
 
{{L|Squidward|Remember, Squiddy, just go with it.}}
(Shows squidward reading a newspaper)
{{L|''[The tiki song starts as three tikis watch Squidward in the boat.]''}}
 
{{L|Tikis|♪ Hoo-ha-hoo, tiki tiki ♪}}
Spongebob:
{{L|Tiki #1|Hey fellas, look! it's Squidward!}}
 
{{L|Tikis|♪ Hoo-ha-hoo, tiki tiki ♪}}
AAH! (This causes squidward's newspaper to fly out of his hands)
{{L|Tiki #2|Hey, buddy, where ya been?}}
 
{{L|Tikis|♪ Hoo-ha-hoo, tiki tiki ♪}}
DAyayayaya!
{{L|Squidward|Hit it boys!}}
 
{{L|Tikis|♪ (Hoo-ha-hoo, tiki tiki) Welcome, to Squidward's Tiki Land! (Hoo-ha-hoo, tiki tiki) / (Hoo-ha-hoo, tiki tiki) Welcome, to Squidward's Tiki Land! (Hoo-ha-hoo, tiki tiki) / (Hoo-ha-hoo, tiki tiki) You can relax all day like a tiki can (Hoo-ha-hoo, tiki tiki) / (Hoo-ha-hoo, tiki tiki) Or lay out in the sun for a tiki tan (Hoo-ha-hoo, tiki tiki) ♪}}
(Spongebob Squirts mustard into patrick's eyes)
{{L|Squidward|♪ (Hoo-ha-hoo, tiki tiki) Or drink from a coconut that's full of flan! (Hoo-ha-hoo, tiki tiki) ♪ ''[drinks from the coconut]''}}
 
{{L|Tikis|♪ (Hoo-ha-hoo, tiki tiki) Here in Squidward's Tiki Land! (Hoo-ha-hoo, tiki tiki) / (Hoo-ha-hoo, tiki tiki) You can play all day in a tiki band (Hoo-ha-hoo, tiki tiki) / (Hoo-ha-hoo, tiki tiki) Then dance all night on the tiki strand (Hoo-ha-hoo, tiki tiki) ♪}}
Patrick:
{{L|Squidward|♪ (Hoo-ha-hoo, tiki tiki) Don't matter to me 'cause, 'cause I'm '''CRAZY''', man! (Hoo-ha-hoo, tiki tiki) ♪}}
 
{{L|Tikis|♪ (Hoo-ha-hoo, tiki tiki) Here in Squidward's Tiki Land! (Hoo-ha-hoo, tiki tiki) ♪ ''[song continues as Squidward floats down the stream]''}}
AAAAAAAH!
{{L|Squidward|Ahhhh, this is the life!}}
 
{{L|''[The boat bumps onto land where SpongeBob puts out a canvas and paint. Squidward then paints a picture of the wonderful scenery.]''}}
(Room Rumbles)
{{L|SpongeBob|It's beautiful!}}
 
{{L|''[SpongeBob hands Squidward his clarinet and he starts playing.]''}}
Squidward:
{{L|Squidward|I've never been this happy in my life! ''[laughs and grabs SpongeBob and Patrick by the hands and they start dancing in circles. The three are laughing and having a good time until Patrick crashes into one of the tikis and knocks them all over in a domino-like effect. The world catches on fire and burns]'' My world!}}
 
{{L|''[SpongeBob, Patrick, and Squidward are left looking at a charred pile of rubble.]''}}
(Groans)
{{L|Patrick|You were right, SpongeBob. We should've used glue instead of earwax.}}
 
{{L|SpongeBob|Yeah, especially considering neither of us have ears.}}
OK. I can do this. Just put them out of my-
{{L|''[Squidward drops to his knees, sweating and completely saddened.]''}}
 
{{L|Squidward|''[crying]'' You-you destroyed my beautiful world!}}
Spongebob:
{{L|SpongeBob|Sorry we couldn't make it last forever, Squidward.}}
 
{{L|Patrick|Yeah, we really tried to make it last.}}
AAAAH!
{{L|Squidward|''[sobbing]'' Yeah, ''[sniffles]'' make it last. ''[bawls uncontrollably]''}}
 
{{L|''[After Squidward stops crying, he, SpongeBob, and Patrick see the tiki boat still in one piece.]''}}
Dayayayayaya!
{{L|Squidward|''[gets up]'' I-I know how to make it last!}}
 
{{L|''[Bubble transition. Squidward has attached the boat to a swing and has SpongeBob and Patrick stand and take turns getting hit by it. Patrick gets hit and screams. Squidward laughs. SpongeBob appears, gets hit and screams, and the episode ends with Patrick and SpongeBob getting hit by the boat and screaming with Squidward laughing.]''}}
(Shows a card saying, One extremely annoying shift later)
 
(Squidward bursts out of krusty krab)
 
Squidward:
 
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!
 
(Goes into his house)
 
(Locks door using every type of lock)
 
(Comes to crossword puzzle)
 
Another word for annoying. SPONGEBOB. (writes spongebob on crossword)
 
Ugh.
 
(Wipes his face)
 
Finally. Some Peace and quiet. (Takes off hat)
 
(Puts feet into slippers)
 
No more spongebob, Just me, myself and home sweet home. (Sits on chair)
 
Aah. Nothing like a squid's good ol chair to soothe the pains of a ruff day.
 
Just relax and contemplate some me time.
 
(Walks to record player and disc)
 
Perhaps I will dance to some soothing dance records.
 
(Puts disc on player and snaps fingers to the beat as well as dances)
 
Or i could dabble a little on painting!
 
(Walks to paint and pallet)
 
(Paints)
 
(Sigh)
 
Yup. I sure am looking forward to it.
 
(Jellyfish sting)
 
Spongebob:
 
DAYAYA!
 
(Jellyfish sting)
 
DAYAYA!
 
(Jellyfish sting)
 
DAYAYA!
 
Squidward:
 
NO, No, NOO! (Walks to window)
 
Alright, I am trying to have a relaxing evening. What are you two doing?
 
Patrick:
 
Trying to have a relaxing evening.
 
Spongebob:
 
We're Playing flashlight tag.
 
Squidward;
 
You're playing flashlight tag with an
 
electric eel?
 
Patrick:
 
We're using the advanced rules.
 
Squidward:
 
Advanced rules.
 
Patrick:
 
Tag.
 
(Squidward gets a rash then screams and comes sobbing histerically.
 
He bonks himself on the wall and the window rings fall at him then the nose gets him.)
 
Patrick:
 
Well that was terrifying.
 
Electric Eel:
 
How original.
 
(to be continued)

Latest revision as of 22:44, 1 May 2025

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