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{{EpisodeTr
{{EpisodeTranscript}}
|title = Enchanted Tiki Dreams
{{L|''[The episode begins at Squidward's house, where Squidward walks up and puts on his hat, then opens his door.]''}}
|titlecard = tiki.png
{{L|Squidward|Okay, beloved sanctuary.'' [lifts a tentacle]'' I'll see you after work. ''[cuts to the "Beloved Sanctuary"]'' And we'll have a nice, relaxing evening. ''[cuts to Squidward]'' Just you and me. ''[slams the door]'' That is, Of course, if I can survive another day ''[walks across his lawn]'' with GratingBob ShrillPants.}}
|seasonnumber = 7
{{L|Patrick|''[cuts to Patrick and SpongeBob]'' Ooh!}}
|episodenumber = 145b
{{L|''[SpongeBob starts laughing. Patrick throws a big rock onto SpongeBob with his body. Patrick and SpongeBob laugh.]''}}
|airdate = [[June 19]], [[2010]]
{{L|Squidward|Hmm. ''[walks towards the Krusty Krab]'' Wow. Those two are just so amazingly stupid.}}
}}
{{L|''[SpongeBob grunts. Patrick is thrown, bending Squidward's neck. SpongeBob jumps on Squidward's broken neck, laughing. Squidward falls, then gets up and fixes his neck.]''}}
{{L|''[Starts at Squidward's house. He walks up and puts on his hat. Opens his door]''}}
{{L|Squidward|Grrr!}}
{{L|Squidward|Ok,Beloved Sanctuary.''[lifts a tentacle]'' I'll see you after work! ''[shoots to "Beloved Sanctuary"]'' And we'll have a nice, relaxing evening. ''[Shoots to Squidward]'' Just you and me. ''[Slams door]'' That is, Of course, if I can survive another day ''[Walks across his lawn]'' with Gratingbob Shrillpants.}}
{{L|''[SpongeBob and Patrick laugh, then Patrick rolls next to SpongeBob and throws him by the legs. SpongeBob screams. Patrick walks up and he and SpongeBob laugh. Cuts to Squidward. SpongeBob throws Patrick and laughs.]''}}
{{L|Patrick|''[Shoots to Patrick and SpongeBob]'' OOH!}}
{{L|SpongeBob|Dayayayayyaya!}}
{{L|''[Patrick throws a big rock onto SpongeBob. Patrick and SpongeBob laugh]''}}
{{L|Squidward|Hm. ''[Walks towards Krusty Krab]'' Wow. Those two are just so amazingly stupid.}}
{{L|SpongeBob|AAAH!}}
{{L|''[Patrick is thrown, bending Squidward's neck. SpongeBob jumps on Squidward's broken neck, laughing. Squidward falls. Squidward gets up and fixes his neck]''}}
{{L|Squidward|GRRR!}}
{{L|SpongeBob and Patrick|DEEDEEHEE!}}
{{L|''[Patrick rolls next to SpongeBob and throws him by the legs]''}}
{{L|SpongeBob|AAAAH!}}
{{L|''[Patrick walks up and both laugh. Shoots to Squidward. SpongeBob throws Patrick and laughs]''}}
{{L|SpongeBob|Ahh. Isn't this fun?}}
{{L|SpongeBob|Ahh. Isn't this fun?}}
{{L|Patrick|Yeah! I Love playing buddy toss! ''[Squidward walks past them]''}}
{{L|Patrick|Yeah! I love playing Buddy Toss! ''[Squidward walks past them]''}}
{{L|SpongeBob|Good morning Squidward! See you at work!}}
{{L|SpongeBob|Good morning, Squidward! See you at work!}}
{{L|''[Shoots to Krusty Krab. Shows Squidward reading a newspaper]''}}
{{L|''[Bubble transition to the Krusty Krab. Squidward is shown reading a newspaper.]''}}
{{L|SpongeBob|AAH! ''[This causes Squidward's newspaper to fly out of his hands]''}}
{{L|SpongeBob|Ow! ''[this causes Squidward's newspaper to fly out of his hands]''}}
{{L|DAyayayaya!}}
{{L|''[SpongeBob laughs, then squirts mustard into Patrick's eyes.]''}}
{{L|''[SpongeBob squirts mustard into Patrick's eyes]''}}
{{L|Patrick|Ow!}}
{{L|Patrick|AAAAAAAH!}}
{{L|''[The room rumbles.]''}}
{{L|''[Room Rumbles]''}}
{{L|Squidward|''[groans]'' Okay. I can do this. Just put them out of my mi...}}
{{L|Squidward|''[Groans]'' OK. I can do this. Just put them out of my-}}
{{L|SpongeBob|Ow! ''[laughs]''}}
{{L|SpongeBob|AAAAH! Dayayayayaya!}}
{{L|French Narrator|One extremely annoying shift later...}}
{{L|''[Shows a card saying, One extremely annoying shift later. Squidward bursts out of Krusty Krab]''}}
{{L|Squidward|''[screams and runs into his house. Locks door using every type of lock. Comes to crossword puzzle]'' A nine-letter word for annoying: SpongeBob. ''[writes "SpongeBob" on crossword]'' Ugh. ''[wipes his face]'' Finally. Some peace and quiet. ''[takes off his hat and puts his feet into slippers]'' No more SpongeBob, Just me, myself and home sweet home. ''[sits on his chair]'' Ahh. Nothing like a squid's good ol' chair to soothe the pains of a rough day. Just relax and contemplate some me time. ''[walks to the record player and disc]'' Perhaps I will dance to some soothing dance records. ''[puts the disc on the player and snaps fingers to the beat as well as dances]'' Or I could dabble a little on painting! ''[walks to the paint and pallet and paints, then sighs]'' Yup. I sure am looking forward to it. ''[Carlos Eel stings Patrick off-screen]''}}
{{L|Squidward|AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH! ''[Goes into his house. Locks door using every type of lock. Comes to crossword puzzle]'' Another word for annoying. SpongeBob. ''[writes SpongeBob on crossword]'' Ugh. ''[Wipes his face]'' Finally. Some peace and quiet. ''[Takes off hat. Puts feet into slippers]'' No more SpongeBob, Just me, myself and home sweet home. ''[Sits on chair]'' Aah. Nothing like a squid's good ol chair to soothe the pains of a ruff day. Just relax and contemplate some me time. ''[Walks to record player and disc]'' Perhaps I will dance to some soothing dance records. ''[Puts disc on player and snaps fingers to the beat as well as dances]'' Or I could dabble a little on painting! ''[walks to paint and pallet. paints. sigh]'' Yup. I sure am looking forward to it. ''[eel sting]''}}
{{L|''[SpongeBob and Patrick laugh.]''}}
{{L|SpongeBob|DAYAYA!}}
{{L|''[Carlos Eel stings Patrick again.]''}}
{{L|''[eel sting]''}}
{{L|''[SpongeBob and Patrick laugh again.]''}}
{{L|DAYAYA!}}
{{L|''[Carlos Eel stings Patrick a third time.]''}}
{{L|''[eel sting]''}}
{{L|''[SpongeBob and Patrick laugh more.]''}}
{{L|DAYAYA!}}
{{L|Squidward|No, no, no! ''[walks to window and sees SpongeBob stinging Patrick with Carlos Eel. They laugh and Squidward growls and exits his house]''}}
{{L|Squidward|NO, No, NOO! ''[walks to window]''}}
{{L|SpongeBob|Something Squidward this way comes.}}
{{L|Alright, I am trying to have a relaxing evening. What are you two doing?}}
{{L|Squidward|Alright, you two. I am trying to have a relaxing evening. What in the world are you doing out here?}}
{{L|Patrick|Trying to have a relaxing evening.}}
{{L|Patrick|Trying to have a relaxing evening.}}
{{L|SpongeBob|We're playing flashlight tag.}}
{{L|SpongeBob|We're playing flashlight tag.}}
{{L|Squidward|You're playing flashlight tag with an electric eel?}}
{{L|Squidward|You're playing flashlight tag with an electric eel?}}
{{L|Patrick|We're using the advanced rules.}}
{{L|SpongeBob|We're using the advanced rules.}}
{{L|Squidward|Advanced rules.}}
{{L|Squidward|Advanced rules? ''[growls]'' That has got to be the most ridiculous thing I have ever-}}
{{L|Patrick|Tag.}}
{{L|''[Patrick grabs Carlos Eel and has it sting Squidward who screeches.]''}}
{{L|''[Squidward gets a rash then screams and comes sobbing hysterically.}}
{{L|Patrick|You're it.}}
{{L|He bonks himself on the wall, becoming dazed, and the window rings fall at him then the nose gets him]''}}
{{L|''[Squidward gets a rash then screams and runs away.]''}}
{{L|SpongeBob|Oh, well played, Patrick!}}
{{L|''[Squidward runs home, sobbing hysterically and rams into his house wall, becoming dazed, and the window rings fall at him and then the nose crushes him. Squidward digs his way into his house.]''}}
{{L|Patrick|Shocking!}}
{{L|Patrick|Shocking!}}
{{L|Electric Eel|How original.}}
{{L|Carlos Eel|''[sarcastically]'' How original.}}
{{L|''[cuts to Squidward's house where he crawled under his chair]''}}
{{L|''[The scene cuts to Squidward's house where he is under his chair in a fetal position.]''}}
{{L|Squidward|''[crying]'' All I want to do is live in a world where I can live in peace and quite ''[sniffs]'' is that to much to ask?}}
{{L|Squidward|''[crying]'' All I really want is to live in a world where I can just relax in peace ''[sniffs]'' and quiet. Is that too much to ask? ''[sniffles again. SpongeBob pokes Squidward's head twice with a stick. Squidward tearfully looks up at him and Patrick]''}}
{{L|''[SpongeBob and Patrick poke Squidward with a stick]''}}
{{L|SpongeBob|Squidward, we're playing tag! Not hide and seek, you silly!}}
{{L|SpongeBob|Squidward, we're playing tag! Not hide and seek!}}
{{L|Patrick|But we like hide and go seek too, if you want to play that.}}
{{L|Patrick|But we can play hide and seek too.}}
{{L|Squidward|''[still crying]'' All I really want is to live in a world where I can just relax ''[sniffles]'' in peace!'' [quietly whimpers. SpongeBob finally realizes something is wrong with Squidward]''}}
{{L|Squidward|''[still crying]'' All I want to do is live in a world where I can live in peace!''[sobs and cries]''}}
{{L|SpongeBob|Patrick, Squidward is really, really sad.}}
{{L|SpongeBob|Patrick, Squidward is really sad!}}
{{L|Patrick|You're right. Let's go poke someone else.}}
{{L|Patrick|Yeah, let's go poke someone else.}}
{{L|SpongeBob|How about instead, we do something extra special for him! Then he won't be sad anymore!}}
{{L|SpongeBob|No, Patrick, we should do something very special for him, then he wont feel sad anymore!}}
{{L|Patrick|Oh, I get it. It'll be like the time I was feeling impressed, and you let me eat all of Gary's... I mean feed Gary for a week.}}
{{L|Patrick|Oh, like that time when I was feeling depressed, and you let me eat all... I mean feed Gary for a week.}}
{{L|SpongeBob|Patrick, this has to be extra special, and we should probably vow to it.}}
{{L|SpongeBob|No Patrick, I mean do something extra special, and I think we should vow to it}}
{{L|Patrick|Vow?}}
{{L|SpongeBob|Yeah, vow.}}
{{L|Patrick|Well, how about instead of vowing, we just do it?}}
{{L|Patrick|Well, how about instead of vowing, we just do it?}}
{{L|SpongeBob|That's a great idea!}}
{{L|SpongeBob|I like it!}}
{{L|''[cuts to later that night]''}}
{{L|''[Bubble transition to later that night.]''}}
{{L|Squidward|''[in bed]'' Well, good night... lamp''[turns lamp off. Then, construction sound begin outside and Squidward turns the lamp back on]''}}
{{L|Squidward|''[in bed]'' Good night... lamp. ''[turns his lamp off. Then, sawing and hammering noises begin outside and he turns the lamp back on]'' I guess having a relaxing evening meant saying up all night with power tools! Well, it's not that late, even morons need to sleep sometime.}}
{{L|Squidward|I guess having a relaxing evening meant saying up all night with power tools! Well, it's not that late, even morons need to sleep!}}
{{L|''[The clock spins around until morning and construction sounds are still there.]''}}
{{L|''[clock spins around until morning and construction sounds are still there]''}}
{{L|Squidward|I can't take it anymore!}}
{{L|Squidward|I can't take it anymore!!!!!!}}
{{L|''[Squidward runs downstairs grumbling.]''}}
{{L|''[runs downstairs grumbling]''}}
{{L|Squidward|When I get those two, I am gonna...! ''[opens the door]'' All right, you two, I... ''[gasps. he walks out his door to a Hawaiian-like beach with tikis, palms, and waterfalls]''}}
{{L|Squidward|When I get my hand on those two!''[opens door]'' all right you!... ''[gasps. he walks out his door to a Hawaiian-like beach with tikis, palms, and waterfalls]''}}
{{L|Squidward|It's, it's, it's... beautiful! ''[gazes in amazement]'' It's too good to be true! ''[sadly]'' It's a mirage! I knew it! ''[starts walking back to his house]'' I guess this is it. ''[Gary walks by with a coconut and Squidward grabs it]'' Insanity.}}
{{L|Squidward|It's, it's, it's... beautiful!''[gazes in amazement]'' it's a mirage! I knew it!}}
{{L|''[SpongeBob slingshots a Hawaiian shirt on him. Patrick uses a fishing pole to reel down a hat, sunglasses, and a lei and drapes it around Squidward's head.]''}}
{{L|''[starts walking back to his house. SpongeBob slingshots a Hawaiian shirt in him and Gary walks by with a coconut and Squidward grabs it. then Patrick uses a fishing pole to reel down a hat, sunglasses, and lei and drapes it around Squidward's head]''}}
{{L|Squidward|''[sadly]'' Next stop, padded room at the cephalopod home! ''[weeps, then looks at his drink and sighs]'' Just go with it, Squiddy.}}
{{L|Squidward|''[sadly]'' Next stop, the padded floors of the cephalopod's home!''[ looks around at the beach and drinks some of the coconut]'' just go with it Squidy}}
{{L|''[Squidward walks around a bit, drinking his coconut along the way, then comes to a waterfall, goes inside, and takes a shower. Then he comes back out to see a tiki boat waiting for him. He gets in and floats down a stream, drinking the coconut. Then he realizes it is empty.]''}}
{{L|''[walks around a bit, then comes to a waterfall, goes inside, and takes a shower. then he comes back out to see a tiki boat waiting for him. he gets in and floats down a stream, drinking the coconut. then he realizes it is empty and notices a tiki bar ahead and stops]''}}
{{L|Squidward|Empty? ''[notices a tiki bar ahead and stops]'' A refill, my good man! What the? ''[notices Patrick behind the bar blending a smoothie]'' Patrick?! What are you doing here?!}}
{{L|Squidward; A refill, my good man! huh?''[notices Patrick behind the bar blending a smoothie]'' Patrick, what are you doing here!?}}
{{L|''[Patrick turns around and pours the drink into Squidward's coconut. While he takes out a newspaper and reads it, Squidward drinks the drink.]''}}
{{L|''[Patrick turns around and pours the drink into Squidward's coconut. While he takes out a newspaper and reads it, Squidward drinks the drink]''}}
{{L|Squidward|It's delicious! What is it?}}
{{L|Squidward |It's delicious! what is it?}}
{{L|Patrick|A smoothie.}}
{{L|Patrick|A smoothie}}
{{L|Squidward|Remember, Squiddy, just go with it.}}
{{L|Squidward|Remember, just go with it.}}
{{L|''[The tiki song starts as three tikis watch Squidward in the boat.]''}}
{{L|''[tiki song starts as three tikis watch Squidward in the boat]''}}
{{L|Tikis|♪ Hoo-ha-hoo, tiki tiki ♪}}
{{L|Tiki #1; Hey fellas, look! it's Squidward!}}
{{L|Tiki #1|Hey fellas, look! it's Squidward!}}
{{L|Tiki #2; Hey, buddy, where ya been!?}}
{{L|Tikis|♪ Hoo-ha-hoo, tiki tiki ♪}}
{{L|Tiki #2|Hey, buddy, where ya been?}}
{{L|Tikis|♪ Hoo-ha-hoo, tiki tiki ♪}}
{{L|Squidward|Hit it boys!}}
{{L|Squidward|Hit it boys!}}
{{L|Tikis|Welcome, to Squidward's tiki land!''[song continues as Squidward floats down the stream]''}}
{{L|Tikis|♪ (Hoo-ha-hoo, tiki tiki) Welcome, to Squidward's Tiki Land! (Hoo-ha-hoo, tiki tiki) / (Hoo-ha-hoo, tiki tiki) Welcome, to Squidward's Tiki Land! (Hoo-ha-hoo, tiki tiki) / (Hoo-ha-hoo, tiki tiki) You can relax all day like a tiki can (Hoo-ha-hoo, tiki tiki) / (Hoo-ha-hoo, tiki tiki) Or lay out in the sun for a tiki tan (Hoo-ha-hoo, tiki tiki) ♪}}
{{L|Squidward|♪ (Hoo-ha-hoo, tiki tiki) Or drink from a coconut that's full of flan! (Hoo-ha-hoo, tiki tiki) ♪ ''[drinks from the coconut]''}}
{{L|Tikis|♪ (Hoo-ha-hoo, tiki tiki) Here in Squidward's Tiki Land! (Hoo-ha-hoo, tiki tiki) / (Hoo-ha-hoo, tiki tiki) You can play all day in a tiki band (Hoo-ha-hoo, tiki tiki) / (Hoo-ha-hoo, tiki tiki) Then dance all night on the tiki strand (Hoo-ha-hoo, tiki tiki) ♪}}
{{L|Squidward|♪ (Hoo-ha-hoo, tiki tiki) Don't matter to me 'cause, 'cause I'm '''CRAZY''', man! (Hoo-ha-hoo, tiki tiki) ♪}}
{{L|Tikis|♪ (Hoo-ha-hoo, tiki tiki) Here in Squidward's Tiki Land! (Hoo-ha-hoo, tiki tiki) ♪ ''[song continues as Squidward floats down the stream]''}}
{{L|Squidward|Ahhhh, this is the life!}}
{{L|Squidward|Ahhhh, this is the life!}}
{{L|''[Boat bumps onto land where SpongeBob puts out a canvas and paint. Squidward then paints a picture of the wonderful scenery]''}}
{{L|''[The boat bumps onto land where SpongeBob puts out a canvas and paint. Squidward then paints a picture of the wonderful scenery.]''}}
{{L|SpongeBob|It's beauuuuuuuuuutiful!!}}
{{L|SpongeBob|It's beautiful!}}
{{L|''[hands Squidward his clarinet and he starts playing]''}}
{{L|''[SpongeBob hands Squidward his clarinet and he starts playing.]''}}
{{L|Squidward|I've never felt this happy in my life! HAHAHA}}
{{L|Squidward|I've never been this happy in my life! ''[laughs and grabs SpongeBob and Patrick by the hands and they start dancing in circles. The three are laughing and having a good time until Patrick crashes into one of the tikis and knocks them all over in a domino-like effect. The world catches on fire and burns]'' My world!}}
{{L|''[grabs SpongeBob and Patrick by the hands and start dancing in circles. they are laughing and having a good time until Patrick crashes into one of the tikis and knocks them all over in a domino-like effect. the world catches on fire and burns until it's nothing but a pile of burnt ashes]''}}
{{L|''[SpongeBob, Patrick, and Squidward are left looking at a charred pile of rubble.]''}}
{{L|Squidward|My world!!!}}
{{L|Patrick|You were right, SpongeBob. We should've used glue instead of earwax.}}
{{L|''[SpongeBob, Patrick, and Squidward are left looking at a charred pile of rubble]''}}
{{L|SpongeBob|Yeah, especially considering neither of us have ears.}}
{{L|Patrick|SpongeBob, I told you we should have used glue instead of earwax}}
{{L|''[Squidward drops to his knees, sweating and completely saddened.]''}}
{{L|SpongeBob|Yeah, and considering neither of us have ears}}
{{L|Squidward|''[crying]'' You-you destroyed my beautiful world!}}
{{L|Squidward|''[crying]'' You've destroyed my beautiful world!}}
{{L|SpongeBob|Sorry we couldn't make it last forever, Squidward.}}
{{L|SpongeBob|Sorry we couldn't make it last, Squidward}}
{{L|Patrick|Yeah, we really tried to make it last.}}
{{L|Patrick|Yeah, we really tried to make it last}}
{{L|Squidward|''[sobbing]'' Yeah, ''[sniffles]'' make it last. ''[bawls uncontrollably]''}}
{{L|Squidward|''[sobbing]'' yeah, make it last, WAHAHWA!}}
{{L|''[After Squidward stops crying, he, SpongeBob, and Patrick see the tiki boat still in one piece.]''}}
{{L|''[sees the tiki boat still in one piece]''}}
{{L|Squidward|''[gets up]'' I-I know how to make it last!}}
{{L|Squidward|I know how to make it last!}}
{{L|''[Bubble transition. Squidward has attached the boat to a swing and has SpongeBob and Patrick stand and take turns getting hit by it. Patrick gets hit and screams. Squidward laughs. SpongeBob appears, gets hit and screams, and the episode ends with Patrick and SpongeBob getting hit by the boat and screaming with Squidward laughing.]''}}
{{L|''[Squidward had attached it to a swing and had SpongeBob and Patrick stand and take turns getting hit by the boat]''}}
{{L|Squidward|HAHAHAAA!}}
{{L|Patrick|''[getting hit]'' AAAAHHHHA!}}
{{L|SpongeBob|My turn! AHHHHH!}}

Latest revision as of 22:44, 1 May 2025

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