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This is a transcript of the SpongeBob SquarePants episode "Fools in April", which aired on April 1st, 2000.
{{EpisodeTranscript}}
*''[the episode begins with Gary snoring and meowing]''
{{L|''[The episode begins with Gary snoring and meowing.]''}}
*'''SpongeBob:''' Wake up. Gary!
{{L|SpongeBob|Wake up, Gary!}}
*'''Gary:''' ''[wakes up]'' Meow?
{{L|Gary|''[wakes up]'' Meow?}}
*'''SpongeBob:''' We're moving today!
{{L|SpongeBob|We're moving today!}}
*'''Gary:''' ''[quizzically]'' Meow?
{{L|Gary|''[quizzically]'' Meow?}}
*'''SpongeBob:''' That's right! We're leaving home. We're going to become peasants! ''[puts on a hat and mustache]''
{{L|SpongeBob|That's right! We're leaving home. We're going to become ''[puts on a hat and fake beard]'' peasants!}}
*'''Gary:''' Meow.
{{L|Gary|Meow?}}
*'''SpongeBob:''' ''[He takes away Gary's bowl]'' No more food. ''[gives Gary a plate with clams on it]'' Sorry, Gary. Peasants only eat mashed-up clamshells. ''[sprinkles some salt on the shells. Gary starts crying]'' April Fools! ''[takes off the outfit and puts Gary's food bowl back onto the floor]'' There ya go, pal!
{{L|SpongeBob|''[takes Gary's bowl away]'' No more food. ''[gives Gary a plate with clams on it]'' Sorry, Gary. Peasants only eat mashed-up clam shells.}}
*'''Gary:''' Meow.
{{L|''[SpongeBob seasons the shells with salt as Gary starts crying. SpongeBob then takes off his special peasant outfit.]''}}
*'''SpongeBob:''' ''[goes into the kitchen]'' Whew, I'm thirsty! ''[takes a big glass of lemonade out of the fridge]'' This is an extreme thirst! ''[sets the lemonade down on the floor; bubble transition to him putting all the lemonade into a lot of small glasses with umbrellas]'' Whew, I'm exhausted. I sure can't wait to drink all of these drinks! April Fools! ''[holds up a mirror]'' To me! ''[laughs obnoxiously and walks outside and towards work. Squidward sees him]''
{{L|SpongeBob|April Fools! ''[puts Gary's food bowl back onto the floor]'' There ya go, pal.}}
*'''Squidward:''' What's he so happy about? ''[walks by the calendar and notices it's April Fool's Day. He panics]'' April 1st? ''[screams]'' April Fools Day is SpongeBob’s favorite holiday! ''[puts a heating pad on his head and dials the number for the Krusty Krab]'' Mr. Krabs, I can't come in today. I caught something terrible.
{{L|Gary|Meow.}}
*'''Mr. Krabs:''' ''[over phone]'' What'd you catch?
{{L|SpongeBob|''[goes into the kitchen]'' Whew, I'm thirsty! ''[opens the fridge and takes a big glass of lemonade out of it]'' ''[speaks in deep male voice]'' This is an extreme thirst! ''[sets the lemonade down on the floor]''}}
*'''Squidward:''' I caught sight of the calendar.
{{L|''[Bubble transition to SpongeBob putting all the lemonade into a lot of small glasses with umbrellas.]''}}
*'''Mr. Krabs:''' Oh, hold on Squidward, there's someone here to see you. He says he's from the Barnacle Bay Art Museum and he wants to honor you as artist of the month.
{{L|SpongeBob|''[normal voice]'' Whew, I'm exhausted. I sure can't wait to drink all these drinks! April Fools! ''[holds up a mirror]'' To me.}}
*''[Squidward runs to the Krusty Krab with an artist uniform on]''
{{L|''[SpongeBob laughs obnoxiously, leaves his home and goes to work. Squidward sees him walking next to his house.]''}}
*'''Squidward:''' I have arrived. ''[SpongeBob and Mr. Krabs laugh]'' What's so funny? Where's the art dealer?
{{L|Squidward|What's he so happy about? ''[walks by the calendar and notices it's April 1 (or April Fools Day), panics]'' April 1st?! ''[yells]'' April Fools Day is SpongeBob's favorite holiday! ''[comes to the phone with a heating pad on his head and dials the number for the Krusty Krab]'' Mr. Krabs, I can't come in today. I caught something terrible.}}
*''[SpongeBob and Mr. Krabs laugh more]''
{{L|Mr. Krabs|''[over phone]'' What'd you catch?}}
*'''Mr. Krabs:''' You just missed him.
{{L|Squidward|''[holds up his calendar]'' I caught sight of the calendar.}}
*'''SpongeBob:''' Yeah, but he told us to tell you...
{{L|Mr. Krabs|Oh, hold on, Squidward, there's someone here to see you. ''[the water from Squidward's heating pad starts to leak]'' He says he's from the Barnacle Bay Art Museum and he wants to honor you as artist of the month!}}
*'''Squidward:''' Tell me what?
{{L|''[SpongeBob and Mr. Krabs giggle together. Squidward comes to the Krusty Krab office with an artist uniform on.]''}}
*'''SpongeBob:''' ''[whispers into Squidward's ear]'' He told me to tell you...April Fools.
{{L|Squidward|I have arrived. ''[walks towards SpongeBob and Mr. Krabs, who are still laughing. The paint brush falls off from Squidward's mouth]'' What? What's so funny? Where's the art dealer?}}
*'''Squidward:''' ''[lays his hat on the table]'' Well, it's been nice working here. ''[he walks off]'' Thanks for everything, Mr. Krabs.
{{L|''[SpongeBob and Mr. Krabs try to hold back their laughter.]''}}
*'''SpongeBob:''' Squidward, wait!
{{L|Mr. Krabs|You just missed him!}}
*'''Squidward:''' Just send my last check to the P.O. box, Mr. Krabs!
{{L|SpongeBob|Yeah, but he told us to tell you... ''[he and Mr. Krabs are still trying not to laugh]''}}
*'''SpongeBob:''' Wait, Squidward! ''[grabs Squidward’s legs]'' It was just a joke! No more jokes on you today, I promise!
{{L|Squidward|''[grabs SpongeBob, says desperately]'' Tell me what?}}
*'''Squidward:''' You do?
{{L|SpongeBob|''[whispers into Squidward's ear]'' He told me to tell you... April Fools.}}
*'''SpongeBob:''' Sure, there are lots of other willing participants. Right, Mr. Krabs? *''[Mr. Krabs sits on a whoopee cushion and it "farts". SpongeBob laughs]''
{{L|Squidward|''[lays his hat on the table]'' Well, it's been nice working here. ''[walks off]'' Thanks for everything, Mr. Krabs.}}
*'''Squidward:''' Well, as long as it's not me.
{{L|SpongeBob|Squidward, wait!}}
*''[bubble transition to SpongeBob carrying a tray of burger patties when an old lady comes by]''
{{L|Squidward|Just send my last check to the P.O. box, Mr. Krabs!}}
*'''Old Lady:''' Excuse me, could you tell me where the forks are?
{{L|SpongeBob|Squidward! ''[runs towards Squidward and grabs his legs]'' It was just a ''joke''! No more jokes on you today, I promise.}}
*'''SpongeBob:''' Sure! They're right here, lady! ''[leads her to the utensils]''
{{L|Squidward|You do?}}
*'''Old Lady:''' ''[picks up a spoon]'' But this is a spoon.
{{L|SpongeBob|Sure. ''[Squidward gives him a side eye]'' There's lots of other willing participants. Right, Mr. Krabs?}}
*'''SpongeBob:''' April Fools! '''[laughs; Squidward stares at SpongeBob and he runs away. Bubble transition to SpongeBob behind the register. A customer comes up to him]'' Welcome to the Krusty Krab. How may I help you?
{{L|''[Mr. Krabs, ready to read his magazine sits on a whoopee cushion and it "farts." SpongeBob laughs.]''}}
*'''Nat:''' ''[raises up his left arm]'' Yeah, give me two large fries and a Jumbo Krabby Patty.
{{L|Squidward|''[takes off his beret and puts on his Krusty Krab employee hat]'' Well, as long as it's not me. ''[leaves Mr. Krabs' office]''}}
*'''SpongeBob:''' ''[points at something]''Hey, what's that?
{{L|''[Bubble transition to SpongeBob carrying a tray of burger patties when Incidental 93 comes by, looking for a fork.]''}}
*''[Nat turns around. SpongeBob turns around and has a smiley face on his back.]''
{{L|Incidental 93|Excuse me, could you tell me where the forks are?}}
*'''Nat:''' Well, I didn't see anything. ''[notices that SpongeBob is gone]'' Hey, where'd that other guy go?
{{L|SpongeBob|They're right ''[leads her to the utensils]'' here, lady!}}
*''[SpongeBob turns around]''
{{L|Incidental 93|''[picks up a spoon]'' Uh.. but this is a ''spoon''.}}
*'''SpongeBob:''' April Fools! I'm right here!
{{L|SpongeBob|April Fools!}}
*'''Nat:''' ''[laughs]'' Hey, that was pretty good.
{{L|Incidental 93|Oh, aw. ''[walks off]''}}
*''[SpongeBob laughs obnoxiously. Squidward notices SpongeBob behind the register]''
{{L|''[SpongeBob laughs as Squidward stares at him. SpongeBob runs away as Squidward sighs. Cut to SpongeBob behind the cash register. Nat Peterson comes up to him. SpongeBob takes the microphone and speaks to it in a slightly unique way.]''}}
*'''Squidward:''' What are you doing behind the counter?
{{L|SpongeBob|Welcome to the Krusty Krab! How may I help you?}}
*''[Bubble transition to SpongeBob wiping the floor. Tom comes by with a cup of soda]''
{{L|Nat|''[raises up his left arm]'' Yeah, give me two large fries and a Jumbo Krabby Patty.}}
*'''Tom:''' Excuse me, can I get a couple of ice cubes in here, please?
{{L|SpongeBob|''[points at something]'' Hey, what's that?}}
*'''SpongeBob:''' Sure! A couple of ice cubes coming up! ''[fills the cup with ice and comes back whistling]'' Here you go.
{{L|''[Nat turns around; SpongeBob turns around and has a smiley face drawn on his back.]''}}
*'''Tom:''' Thanks. ''[he takes a sip of his drink. SpongeBob titters and Tom looks at him but SpongeBob stops before Tom turns around]'' Huh? ''[SpongeBob is silent, so Tom takes another sip of his drink. SpongeBob starts giggling again and then Tom turns around and looks at him, but SpongeBob stops before he turns around]'' Huh? ''[SpongeBob is silent, so Tom finishes his drink]'' Ah.
{{L|Nat|Well, I didn't see anything. ''[notices that SpongeBob is gone]'' Hey, where'd that other guy go?}}
*'''SpongeBob:''' ''[laughs loudly and obnoxiously]'' April Fools! ''[Tom grabs SpongeBob by the collar, suddenly panicked]''
{{L|SpongeBob|''[turns around]'' April Fools! I'm right here!}}
*'''Tom:''' What did you do to my drink?!
{{L|Nat|''[laughs]'' Hey! That was pretty good.}}
*'''SpongeBob:''' I... ''[giggles]'' I... ''[giggles]''
{{L|''[SpongeBob laughs obnoxiously; Squidward notices SpongeBob behind the register.]''}}
*'''Tom:''' You what?!?!
{{L|Squidward|''[angrily]'' What are you doing behind the counter?!}}
*'''SpongeBob:''' You asked for a couple of ice cubes in your drink, and I only put in one! ''[laughs]''
{{L|''[Bubble transition to SpongeBob wiping the floor with a white cloth; Tom Smith comes by with a cup of soda.]''}}
*'''Tom:''' I guess that is pretty funny. ''[laughs as he walks off]''
{{L|Tom|Excuse me. ''[the next shot is from SpongeBob's perspective]'' Can I get a couple of ice cubes in here, please?}}
*'''SpongeBob:''' ''[laughs so hard his tongue pops off]'' Hey, your shoe's untied. ''[tongue looks down]'' April Fools! You're not wearing shoes! ''[laughs and hugs his tongue, which smiles. Then they laugh into the microphone. Everyone hears it. In the kitchen, Squidward tries to mute the sound with tissues but he can still hear it]'' April Fools! ''[Squidward drops a plate]''
{{L|SpongeBob|Sure! A couple of ice cubes coming up! ''[fills the cup with ice and comes back whistling]'' Here you go.}}
*'''Squidward:''' That does it! SpongeBob and his stupid pranks! I'm going to show him what a real prank is all about! ''[bubble transition to him squirting some mustard inside a rope circle then he chuckles and shows SpongeBob the mess]''
{{L|Tom|Thanks. ''[takes a sip of his drink; SpongeBob titters and Tom looks at him, but SpongeBob stops before he turns around]'' Huh? ''[SpongeBob is silent, so Tom takes another sip of his drink; SpongeBob starts giggling again and then Tom turns around and looks at him, but SpongeBob stops before he turns around]'' Huh? ''[SpongeBob is silent, so Tom finishes his drink]'' Ah...}}
*'''SpongeBob:''' Oh boy! Something for me to clean up! ''[starts cleaning it and Squidward is standing next to a rope which he is about to cut]''
{{L|SpongeBob|''[laughs loudly and obnoxiously with his legs streched out, points at Tom]'' April Fools! ''[Tom gets triggered and grabs SpongeBob by the collar, suddenly panicked]''}}
*'''Squidward:''' April Fools! (laughs as he cuts the rope which grabs SpongeBob)
{{L|Tom|What did you do to my drink?!}}
*'''SpongeBob:''' Whooooooooooooooooooooooooa! ''[the rope sends him into a bag of flour. Squidward is laughing through all of this. Then SpongeBob is taken around a bar]'' Whoa! Blblblblblblblblblblblbl... Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhh! ''[is sent into a wall]''
{{L|SpongeBob|I... ''[giggles]'' I... ''[giggles, tries to say "do"]''}}
*'''All except SpongeBob and Squidward:''' Oh, no.
{{L|Tom|You what?!}}
*''[Squidward's eyes pop out as he laughs. SpongeBob screams and flies into a customer's rear]''
{{L|SpongeBob|You asked for a couple of ice cubes in your drink and I only put in one! ''[a bass string is played in the background, SpongeBob laughs]''}}
*'''SpongeBob:''' Whoooooooooooooooooooooooooooaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa! ''[we see Squidward cheerleading, laughing, and jumping into the air. Then SpongeBob smashes into the ceiling]''
{{L|Tom|I guess that is pretty funny. ''[laughs as he walks off]'' Yeah.}}
*'''Squidward:''' ''[runs and holds out his arms to catch SpongeBob]'' I'll catch you, SpongeBob! ''[he giggles to himself. SpongeBob screams and almost lands in Squidward's arms, but before he does, Squidward sets out a garbage can in front of him, and SpongeBob falls into the goop in the garbage can]'' Oops. ''[dumps SpongeBob, who is now the shape of the can, out of the garbage can]'' April Fools, you little sausage! ''[he laughs. SpongeBob cries hysterically and runs out of the Krusty Krab]'' SpongeBob! I was just kidding! C'mon, c'mon. You all know I was just kidding… right?
{{L|''[SpongeBob keeps on laughing. Squidward, who is meanwhile washing the dishes in the kitchen hears the laughter, gets annoyed because of it, mumbles in anger and rubs the bottom of the frying pan with a white cloth harder than before.]''}}
*'''Kevin:''' Aww, man, poor kid.
{{L|SpongeBob|''[laughs so hard his tongue pops off, keeps laughing with the tongue. Squidward covers his ears in frustration since he can still hear SpongeBob's laughter. The scene cuts back to the dining hall]'' Hey, your shoe's untied. ''[tongue looks down]'' April Fools! You're not wearing shoes! ''[laughs and hugs his tongue, which smiles. Squidward puts two white paper tissues in his ears, so he won't be able to hear the sound. SpongeBob and the tongue laugh into the microphone installed in the counter; everyone hears it; Squidward can still hear the sound from the dining hall]'' April Fools! ''[Squidward drops a plate]''}}
*'''Shubie:''' That guy has definitely got some issues to work out. ''[Everyone leaves]''
{{L|Squidward|Ugh, that's ''it''! SpongeBob and his stupid pranks! I'm going to show him what a ''real'' prank is all about!}}
*'''Tom:''' April Fools, jerk.
{{L|''[Bubble transition to Squidward squirting some mustard inside a rope circle. He chuckles and shows the mess to SpongeBob, who is in the middle of wiping a glass.]''}}
*'''Squidward:''' Wait, don't go!
{{L|SpongeBob|Oh, boy! Something for me to clean up. ''[Squidward tries not to laugh. SpongeBob starts cleaning the stain and Squidward is standing next to a rope with a huge anchor hanging on it which he is about to cut. SpongeBob finishes wiping the floor, leaving it sparkly clean.]''}}
*'''Man:''' Hey, you stink!
{{L|Squidward|April Fools! ''[laughs as he cuts the rope which grabs SpongeBob's both legs. The aforementioned anchor falls down after that.]''}}
*'''Squidward:''' Wait, wait, it was a joke! ''[looks around at the mess he has made of SpongeBob and gets angry with himself]'' Why is it whenever I'm having fun, it's wrong? I didn't mean to make him cry. I guess this means I'd better tell SpongeBob I'm sor-eaach. ''[makes silly face]'' Huh? I guess this means I'd better apolo- ''[throat goes haywire]'' gii! This is gonna be tougher than I thought. ''[bubble transition to Squidward going to SpongeBob's pineapple. He knocks on SpongeBob’s door]'' SpongeBob? Uh, SpongeBob, come out! I've got something to tell you! SpongeBob? ''[notices a Krusty Krab hat and goes over there to talk the man who is wearing it]'' Uhh, I was thinking about today and uh… and it just seems that I may owe you some sort of… This isn't something I normally do so, listen carefully SpongeBob, because I am about to tell you that I am... ''[notices that the guy with the hat on is Patrick]'' Patrick? What are you doing here?
{{L|SpongeBob|Whoa! ''[the rope sends him into over four huge bags of flour. Squidward is laughing through all of this and rolls on the floor. Then SpongeBob is taken around a bar]'' Whoa! ''[screams as he is sent slamming face-first into the wall]''}}
*'''Patrick:''' Digging.
{{L|Customers|Oh, no!}}
*'''Squidward:''' Why are you wearing that hat?
{{L|''[Squidward's eyes pop out as he laughs hysterically, while the customers start to look very concerned. SpongeBob screams in pure fright and flies into Bubble Bass' rear.]''}}
*'''Patrick:''' Hmm, I don't know. ''[takes off the hat]''
{{L|SpongeBob|Whoa...! ''[cut to Squidward cheerleading, laughing, and jumping into the air. Then SpongeBob smashes into the ceiling. The customers are getting shocked]''}}
*'''Squidward:''' ''[growls]'' Where's SpongeBob?
{{L|Squidward|''[runs and holds out his arms to catch SpongeBob]'' I'll catch you, SpongeBob. ''[giggles to himself. SpongeBob screams as he plummets toward Squidward, who quickly sets out a garbage can in front of him, and SpongeBob falls into the goop in the can. Squidward ducks]'' Oops! ''[dumps SpongeBob, who is now the shape of the can, out of the garbage can, looking all dirty and upset]'' April Fools, you little sausage! ''[he laughs; SpongeBob squeals sadly and runs out of the Krusty Krab sobbing]'' SpongeBob? I was just kidding! C'mon, c'mon! You guys know I was just kidding? Right?}}
*'''Patrick:''' He's in the house. He's impressed.
{{L|''[The customers look concerned and sympathetic after what happened to SpongeBob.]''}}
*'''Squidward:''' With what?
{{L|Wobbles|Aww, man.. poor kid.}}
*'''Patrick:''' I don't know, but it must have been pretty good to make him cry like that.
{{L|Shubie|That guy has ''definitely'' got some issues to work out. ''[the customers angrily glare at Squidward as they begin to leave]''}}
*'''Squidward:''' ''[goes back to SpongeBob's house]'' SpongeBob, let me in there! ''[tries to turn the handle but SpongeBob’s arm comes from under the door and pulls it inside. Squidward grabs his clarinet]'' SpongeBob, you'd better let me in there! I don't want to have to use this! ''[plays clarinet horribly. SpongeBob opens the door]''
{{L|Incidental 71|April Fools... jerk. ''[all the customers storm out the door in disgust and disappointment as Squidward starts to look upset by their reaction]''}}
*'''SpongeBob:''' What do you want?
{{L|Squidward|Wait, don't go!}}
*'''Squidward:''' SpongeBob, I just wanted to say that I'm sorr-yyyy. ''[sticks out tongue while talking]''
{{L|Man|Hey, you stink!}}
*'''SpongeBob:''' What?
{{L|Squidward|Wait, wait, wait, it was a joke! Uh-huh... ''[looks around at the mess he has made for the last few minutes and winces, then he looks at Bubble Bass, who has a hole in his bottom due to the "prank" and Squidward starts to feel ashamed of himself]'' Oh. Huh-oh. Why is it whenever ''I'm'' having fun, it's '''wrong'''? I didn't mean to make him cry... I guess this means I'd better tell SpongeBob I'm sor— ''[struggles to finish saying the word "sorry", makes silly face and sticks his tongue out]'' Huh? I guess this means I'd better apolo- ''[his throat goes haywire]'' —gi-ah! This is gonna be tougher than I thought.}}
*'''Squidward:''' I'm trying to say I'm (turns into a donkey and starts braying) hee-haw-hee-haw!
{{L|''[Bubble transition to Squidward going to SpongeBob's home. He clears his throat]''}}
*'''SpongeBob:''' What?
{{L|Squidward|SpongeBob? ''[knocks on the door twice]'' Uh, SpongeBob, come on out! I've got something to tell you! ''[quick silence]'' SpongeBob? ''[notices a Krusty Krab employee hat peeking out from the stones, smiles and goes over to talk to the person who is wearing it]'' SpongeBob, uh, I was thinking about today and-and, well, it just seems that I might owe you some sort of... This isn't something I normally do, so, listen carefully SpongeBob, because I am about to tell you that I'm... What? ''[notices that the guy with the hat on is none other than Patrick]'' Patrick?! What are you doing here?!}}
*'''Squidward:''' I'm just trying to say that I'm... ''[head explodes]'' There's gotta be an easier way to do this. ''[bubble transition to Squidward writing a note. He puts it in a bottle and rolls it to SpongeBob where he picks it up]'' Well, aren't you going to open it?
{{L|Patrick|Digging.}}
*'''SpongeBob:''' I can't, I don't have a bottle opener. (Squidward hands SpongeBob a can and Squidward drives to the other side of the road)
{{L|Squidward|Why are you wearing that hat?}}
 
{{L|Patrick|Oh, I don't know. ''[takes off the hat]''}}
Squidward: SpongeBob, I'm... (whispers into the can. Puts the can up to his ear but hears some sort of noise. Patrick is flossing his teeth. Squidward throws the binoculars down on the ground) SpongeBob, all I am trying to say is that I am... (waves tentacles in the air and bubbles form. Puts a big bubble on his head and then talks) ...sorry. (pops the bubble) There you go.
{{L|Squidward|''[growls]'' Where's SpongeBob?}}
 
{{L|Patrick|He's in the house. He's impressed.}}
SpongeBob: But I couldn't...(Squidward slams door in his face)
{{L|Squidward|With what?}}
 
{{L|Patrick|I don't know, but it must've been pretty good to make him cry like that.}}
Squidward: I don't care! I said it! My conscience is clear! (walks away. Then an image of Patrick appears in the air)
{{L|Squidward|''[shivers then goes back to SpongeBob's house]'' SpongeBob, SpongeBob, let me in there! ''[tries to turn the handle, but SpongeBob's arm comes from under the door and pulls it inside; Squidward grabs his clarinet]'' SpongeBob, you'd better let me in there! I don't want to have to use this! ''[plays clarinet horribly. SpongeBob opens the door]''}}
 
{{L|SpongeBob|What do you want?}}
Patrick: It must have been pretty good to make him cry like that. (Squid continues walking and runs into a ghost image on a guy at the restaurant)
{{L|Squidward|SpongeBob, I just want to say that I'm sorr-yyyy. ''[sticks out tongue while talking]''}}
 
{{L|SpongeBob|What?}}
Tom: April Fools, jerk. (runs again but this time his mother appears)
{{L|Squidward|I'm trying to say I'm ''[turns into a donkey and starts braying]'' haw-hee-haw!}}
 
{{L|SpongeBob|''[opens the door wider]'' What?!}}
Squid’s Mom: (deep voice) You stink!
{{L|Squidward|I'm just trying to say I'm... ''[voice muffled after his head explodes]'' There's gotta be an easier way to do this.}}
 
{{L|''[Bubble transition to Squidward writing a note. He puts it in a bottle and rolls it to SpongeBob where he picks it up.]''}}
Squidward: Mother? (runs back to SpongeBob’s house to apologize) All right, all right! I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I admit it, I'm sorry! I didn't mean to hurt you, in fact, I like you! I like living next door, I like your foghorn alarm in the morning and your high-pitched giggling at night! I also like Gary, Patrick, Sandy, Mr. Krabs, and all the other people I'm forced to be in contact with! And, and, and... (SpongeBob opens the door slightly)
{{L|Squidward|Well, aren't you going to open it?}}
 
{{L|SpongeBob|I can't. I don't have a bottle opener.}}
SpongeBob: Squidward! Is all that true?
{{L|Squidward|Doh! ''[Squidward hands SpongeBob a can and Squidward drives to the other side of the road]'' SpongeBob, I'm... ''[whispers into the can, then puts the can up to his ear but hears some sort of noise; Patrick is flossing his teeth with the cord; Squidward growls and throws the binoculars down on the ground]'' SpongeBob, all I am trying to say is that I am... ''[waves tentacles in the air and bubbles form, puts a big bubble on his head and then talks]'' ...sorry. ''[pops the bubble]'' There you go.}}
 
{{L|SpongeBob|But I couldn't... ''[Squidward slams the door in his face]''}}
Squidward: Yes, SpongeBob. Yes, it's all true.
{{L|Squidward|I don't care! I said it! My conscience is clear! ''[starts to walk away, when an image of Patrick appears in the air]''}}
 
{{L|Patrick|''Must've been pretty good to make him cry like that.''}}
SpongeBob: Even the part about the lima beans and the car chase?
{{L|''[Squidward nervously continues walking and runs into a ghost image of Tom (repeating Walt's line from earlier).]''}}
 
{{L|Tom|''April Fools... jerk.''}}
Squidward: What the...? Yes, whatever! But you have to promise not to tell anybody.
{{L|''[Squidward frantically starts running again, but this time his mother appears]''}}
 
{{L|Mrs. Tentacles|''[male voice]'' ''You stink!''}}
SpongeBob: I promise.
{{L|Squidward|Mother?! ''[runs back to SpongeBob's house to apologize]'' All right, all right! I'm sorry, I'm sorry! I admit it, I'm sorry! I didn't mean to hurt you, in fact, SpongeBob, I like you! I like living next door, I like hearing your foghorn alarm in the morning and your high-pitched giggling at night! I also like Gary, Patrick, Sandy, Mr. Krabs, and all the other people I'm forced to be in contact with! And, and, and, and... ''[SpongeBob opens the door slightly]''}}
 
{{L|SpongeBob|Squidward, Is all that true?}}
Squidward: Really? (Sponge opens the door all the way, revealing the citizens of Bikini Bottom inside)
{{L|Squidward|Yes, yes, SpongeBob! Yes, it's all true!}}
 
{{L|SpongeBob|Even the part about the lima beans and the car chase?}}
All: April Fools!
{{L|Squidward|What the...? Yes, yes, whatever! But you have to promise not to tell anybody!}}
 
{{L|SpongeBob|I promise.}}
Squidward: (twitches eye)April Fools! You're right, April Fools! I just fooled you all! (laughs hysterically while going back into his house)
{{L|Squidward|Really? ''[SpongeBob opens the door all the way, revealing the citizens of Bikini Bottom inside]''}}
 
{{L|Everyone|April Fools!}}
SpongeBob: What would we do without Squidward?
{{L|Squidward|''[eye twitches]'' April Fools! You're right, April Fools! I just fooled you all! ''[laughs hysterically while going back into his house]''}}
[[Category:Episode transcripts]]
{{L|SpongeBob|What would we do without Squidward?}}
[[pl:Prima Aprilis (transkrypt)]]
[[pt-br:Primeiro de Abril (transcrição)]]

Latest revision as of 21:01, 25 June 2025

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