Patrick's Star/transcript

This article is a transcript of the Kamp Koral: SpongeBob's Under Years episode "Patrick's Star/transcript" from season , which aired on .

• [At night, the campers gather around Patrick with a birthday cake.]
• Campers: [singing] ♪ Happy birthday to Patrick. Happy birthday to you. ♪
• Elwood: [bursting out of the cake, then gets eaten by Patrick]
• Campers: [cheer, then scream and gasp]
• Patrick: [swallows Elwood] Yum. Now it's time for the other best part of my birthday. The [tapping hands together] getting stuff part! [gestures with his arm]
• Larry: [giving a present to Patrick] Happy birthday, big guy.
• Patrick: [excitedly tears apart the present to reveal a sandwich] Ooh! [eats the sandwich in one bite, and struggles to swallow it, but does and sighs]
• Bubble Bass: [giving gift to Patrick] Many happy returns.
• Patrick: [excitedly tears apart the present to reveal a canned steak] Oh, boy! [swallows the can whole]
• SpongeBob: [giving Patrick an envelope] Happy birthday!
• Patrick: Huh? [takes the envelope] Hard to see how you would fit any food in here. Ooh, unless it's a pancake! [rips into the envelope and lets the letter fall on his mouth] Tastes like paper.
• SpongeBob: [takes the letter as Patrick keeps trying to eat it]
• Sandy: [SpongeBob holds an "Adopt-A-Star" certificate with Patrick's name on it] It ain't a pancake, Patrick. It's a star!
• Patrick: [pointing] That doesn't look like a star.
• SpongeBob: [laughs] The paper isn't the star. [close-up of the certificate] It's your adoption certificate. The star is in the [points up] sky.
• Sandy: [rolls in a telescope, which she shoves Patrick's head into to see the star] It's a star for the star!
• Patrick: [shoving the telescope away] That's not a present! I can't play with it, [gets in Sandy's face] or eat it! Aw, this is the worst birthday ever! [stomps off the bench, and comes back to eat SpongeBob's cake slice] This party's over! [walks away, then comes back again to burp out Elwood]
• Elwood: -ooo!
• Patrick: Now the party's over! Go home! [blows out the candle on Elwood's head]
• [As Elwood continues singing, the camera pans up to the star in the sky. It flies down to the camp and plants itself in the ground.]
• Patrick: [opens cabin door] I said, my birthday was over! No more fireworks, you guys! [sees the glowing hole in front of him] Huh? [yells and falls into the hole] Oh my gosh! [emerges with a baby star] Now this is a present I can play with! Or eat? [licks the star, burning his tongue which disintegrates]
• Baby star: [laughs]
• Patrick: Nope, just play with.
• Baby star: Da-da?
• Sandy: Well shake my tail and call me a tree rat!
• SpongeBob: Ooh, Patrick, is that a baby star?
• Patrick: It's my baby star. I named him Gunther, and I love him. [kisses Gunther, which burns his mouth off]
• Gunther: [laughs]
• Sandy: Good thing I have these [pulls out an oven mitt] oven mitts. [tosses oven mitts to Patrick, which he puts on to hold Gunther] [holds out a baby carrier] And this asbestos-lined baby carrier. [tosses baby carrier to Patrick, which he uses to carry Gunther]
• Crowd: Aww.
• Sandy: [pulling lip balm from the flower on her helmet] And this soothing lip balm. [traces the lip balm around Patrick's mouth to bring it back]
• Patrick: [smacking lips] Alright. Let's show my boy around camp! Woo-hoo!
• SpongeBob: Uh, it's [points up] still the middle of the night, Patrick.
• Patrick: Oh. Yeah, then, let's show him around camp in a couple of hours!
• All: [cheer]
• French Narrator: [as a rooster is heard crowing, reading time card] A couple of hours later...
• [At the Frigate cabin, the jocks are lifting weights.]
• Larry: 998, 999, 1,000. Nice work. Now for the left arm.
• [The others struggle to lift their weights, and drop them. Tall Tail drops his weight onto Mo and Craig, crushing them. Patrick, who is carrying Gunther, SpongeBob, and Sandy walk over the weight, crushing the two.]
• Larry: Hey, who's the little bro there, bro? [touches Gunther, which burns his claw that he shakes] Bro, that little guy--
• Mo: [head emerges] Say, how'd you guys like to join us for a post-workout sauna sesh?
• SpongeBob: Oh, boy! I could use a shmitz.
• [Bubble transition to everyone inside the Frigate cabin, where Gunther sits on top of hot coals.]
• Gunther: [laughs, gets water poured onto him with a ladle, which creates steam]
• All: [sigh]
• Larry: [looking at a "MEAT SWEATS" chart on the wall] Looking good, team. We're almost at peak fat burning temp. Just a few more degrees.
• Patrick: Loud and clear, bro-chacho. Gunther, crank it up a few notches.
• Gunther: [shakes, strongly illuminating the entire room]
• All: [yelling]
• Patrick: It's too bright!
• Boy: [knocking on Frigate cabin door, holding a clipboard] Cabin check. [screams as he suddenly gets hit with bright light, and is left with only his skeleton] I guess I'll come back later.
• [In the Frigate cabin, everyone is now small.]
• Patrick: [high-pitched] Gunther, stop!
• Gunther: [stops illuminating and looks around]
• All: [screaming]
• Craig: [high-pitched] My bodacious muscles! No!
• Larry: [high-pitched] Get that five-pointed furnace outta here, bros!
• [Patrick carries Gunther out of the cabin as he, SpongeBob, and Sandy leave.]
• Craig: [high-pitched] And don't come back!
• [Bubble transition to the trio approaching the Yacht cabin members sitting in lounge chairs. Regigilled is pouring hot coals from a bag onto a barbecue grill.]
• Upturn: [groans] When is lunch? I'm getting peckish. [a coal nearly hits her, slaps the spatula and some coals] Oh!
• Patrick: [a piece of coal lands on his forehead] Huh?
• Upturn: My word! [pointing to a piece of coal on the ground] That filthy thing nearly touched me!
• Gunther: [laughing]
• Rea: Oh, I say, is that a baby star?
• Roh: I've never seen one up close.
• Patrick: His name's Gunther. [coal falls off his forehead and into Gunther's arm]
• Gunther: Ah! [eats coal and farts in his diaper]
• SpongeBob: Uh-oh! Does someone have a dirty dia-dey? [laughs]
• Patrick: Nah, I changed before we left. [picks up Gunther to reveal his heavy dirty diaper, which drops a diamond]
• Upturn, Rea, and Roh: [diamonds appear as their pupils] Oh?
• Upturn: You there, boy.
• Patrick: Yes, I boy.
• Upturn: [holding purse] Yes, how much for the star? [pulls out fat stack of money] We'd like to purchase it.
• Patrick: Oh! You can't buy Gunther! I would never sell my baby! Not for your first offer, anyway.
• Upturn, Rea, and Roh: [talking amongst each other]
• Upturn: [snaps her fingers, which summons a bunch of gold bars in front of Patrick]
• Gunther: [babbling and stretching his arms out, then inhales all the gold bars and burps]
• Roh: Oh, my word!
• Upturn: Imagine the size of the diamond!
• Upturn, Rea, and Roh: [as Patrick holds Gunther in front of them] Ah!
• Gunter: [farts gold onto the trio, turning them gold]
• Upturn, Rea, and Roh: Oh! [coughing]
• Sandy: [laughs] Must be a little solar wind. [rimshot plays]
• Patrick: Welp, you guys are outta gold. I guess we're done here. Let's ride! [jumps onto SpongeBob and points ahead, and the three of them walk in the opposite direction]
• [Bubble transition to the trio walking to the director's cabin. Pearl is playing with some toys.]
• Gunther: [reaching for Pearl] Baby!
• SpongeBob: Oh, look, Patrick. Gunther wants to play with Pearl.
• Patrick: Why? There's no way she's more fun than me.
• Sandy: It's important to socialize children, for their development.
• Patrick: Okay, [bringing Gunther to Pearl and sets him down] if it's for his devil-ment.
• Pearl: Ah. [laughs, gives Gunther her milk bottle; laughs as the bottle heats up before it evaporates; laughs and claps, then gives Gunther her toy block, which also burns up and makes her laugh; gives Gunther her Mermaid Man action figure, which melts and makes her laugh and clap] Ah? [gestures for Gunther to follow her up the stairs as they go up]
• SpongeBob, Patrick, and Sandy: [scream and run after Pearl and Gunther]
• [Inside the cabin, Pearl is throwing out money from the safe as Gunther burns it with his arms.]
• Mr. Krabs: [upstairs, snoring in his hammock as he smells smoke; wakes up and gasps] Money fire! [jumps downstairs to see Pearl giving Gunther a tower of cash to burn, which he takes the remaining of and blows it out] What's goin' on here?
• Patrick: Your Pearl is just playing with my little Gunther.
• Mr. Krabs: Why are they burnin' me money?
• Sandy: Well, Gunther here's a baby star. So he's basically just an eternally burning ball of cosmic gas.
• Gunther: [farts in his diaper]
• Mr. Krabs: I know what stars is. They belong in the sky, not torturin' me fortune. I want him out of this camp immediately!
• SpongeBob, Patrick, and Sandy: [sigh and leave with Gunther]
• Gunther: [babbling and waving at Pearl]
• Pearl: [waving]
• Mr. Krabs: [picks up Pearl] Don't worry, Pearl. We're all safe now.
• Pearl: [blows onto Mr. Krabs' dollar in his hand, setting it on fire, laughs and claps]
• Mr. Krabs: [his dollar disintegrates, screams]
• [Bubble transition to SpongeBob, Patrick, Sandy, and Gunther near the Krusty Kanteen.]
• Patrick: We can't get rid of Gunther. He's my baby! [Gunther runs off and sets the canteen on fire] Oh, I never wanna be apart from him!
• SpongeBob: Uh, maybe Mr. Krabs has a point. Perhaps a summer camp constructed from highly flammable materials is not the best environment for a baby star.
• Gunther: [babbling next to Patrick]
• Patrick: [picking up Gunther] Well, you heard the guy. Looks like you have to go back to space, Gunther. [puts Gunther back in his harness]
• Gunther: [babbles with joy]
• Plankton: [running while on fire, making SpongeBob wince] Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow!
• [Bubble transition to SpongeBob, Patrick with Gunther, and Sandy walking up a rock on the surface.]
• Sandy: Get ready for some science, boys. [holding a backpack] This here balloon pack'll gently lift Gunther [puts the pack onto Gunther] into orbit. Behold! [presses a button on a remote control]
• Gunther: [squeals as balloons emerge from the pack, sending him into the air; waving] Whoa!
• Patrick: [waving]
• Gunther: Bye-bye!
• SpongeBob: [all waving] Goodbye, Gunther!
• Patrick: Have fun in space!
• Gunther: [a seagull flies by and burns all the balloons, screams as he falls and lands back in Patrick's harness]
• [A live-action chicken breast falls down from the sky, which everyone dodges.]
• Patrick: Hey, Gunther brought lunch.
• [Bubble transition to them all near Lake Yuckymuck, where Sandy, with SpongeBob on top of her, is pulling back a giant slingshot made from the zipline. Patrick is holding a feather while Gunther is in his harness.]
• Sandy: [finishes pulling] Whew. [SpongeBob jumps off of her] Alright, Patrick, load him in!
• Patrick: [throws away the feather and puts Gunther in the slingshot]
• Gunther: [laughing]
• SpongeBob: Three, two, one, liftoff!
• Gunther: [gets launched into the air] Whee! [laughs as he exits Earth, passes by Hatty McDoody kissing his wife, and circles around Saturn] Whee! Whee! Whee! Whoo! [leaves Saturn]
• Bubble Bass: [urgently entering the outhouse, sighs]
• [Gunther re-enters the earth's atmosphere and directly hits and destroys the outhouse.]
• Bubble Bass: [climbs out of the crater, whimpering]
• Patrick: [picks up Gunther] Yay, Gunther, you're back!
• Gunther: [giggles]
• Sandy: Well, fellers, I got one more idea. [writes on a piece of paper] It ain't as science-y as the others, but here goes. [puts the letter in an envelope, runs off, puts it in a mailbox, and steps back]
• [The mail truck arrives. It aims upward and blasts off into the air like a rocket.]
• SpongeBob: [pointing to the sky] Whoa, what's that?
• [Gunther's parents arrive from the sky.]
• Gunther's dad: Sandy, we got your letter.
• Gunther's mom: [laughs] Our son loves to wander off and get himself adopted. Thank you for taking such good care of him.
• Patrick: It was no trouble at all. [picks up Gunther] It's goodbye for real this time, Gunther. [hugs Gunther] Aw. [his clothes besides his pants burn off; gives Gunther back to his father]
• Gunther: [giggling]
• Gunther's dad: Who's Gunther?
• Gunther's mom: [shrugs]
• [Gunther's parents fly into the sky with their son.]
• Mr. Krabs: [seeing all the camp buildings are on fire] Oh, no! Now me camp's burnin' too! [cries]
• Patrick: Oh, hey, [holds up Gunther's diaper] Gunther left this for you. He said, uh, no hard feelings? [dumps the contents of the diaper, which is a pile of diamonds; leaves]
• Mr. Krabs: [gasps] Diamonds? [raising arms] Woo-hoo! [dancing] Burn, baby, burn! [laughing as the camera zooms out to show the entire burning camp]
• [The camera pans upward, and three star-shaped glimmers are seen.]