User:AW10/transcripts/Help Wanted (transcript)

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• [Episode opens up with coral reef under the sea and with the French narrator talking]
• French Narrator: Ah, the sea, so fascinating, so wonderful. [Camera pans through the reef to show Bikini Bottom] Here we see Bikini Bottom, teeming with life. [The screen shows, from left to right, a brown rock with a yellow weather vane on top and a cement path, a bluish grey Easter Island with a brown wooden door, two windows a path made of wooden pieces, and an orange pineapple with a grey metal door, a window, a small metal chimney on its left side, flowers that surround the pineapple, and a cement path with rocks in the path. The Scene pans towards the pineapple] Home of one of my favorite creatures, SpongeBob SquarePants. Yes, of course he lives in a pineapple, you silly.
• [Scene cuts to the interior of the pineapple, specifically his room, to show his alarm clock while SpongeBob's snoring is heard. The alarm clock is a foghorn. The alarm clock's goes off at 7 am. The angle changes to show the room in its entirety on the left is a closet with a window and a treasure chest, going left we see the alarm clock, then, we see SpongeBob's bed which has three mattresses, a blue blanket with yellow flowers, a diving board, two luau bamboo poles with a candle in each, an orange life preserver with for purple stripes, next is another window, then a cage with a scallop in it. below the cage is a snail with a green bottom and eyes, a blue top, and a pink shell with a big red swirl and purple dots, the snail is on a few pages of newspaper which is his bed, next to the snail is his bowl. SpongeBob is also in his bed; what the camera shows of him is his yellow squarish top and long nose, he also has holes that are visible. The room is shaking and SpongeBob's blanket is going up and down from the force of the foghorn noise. The camera changes to show just SpongeBob, he wakes up when the noise from the foghorn clock finally blows his blanket away. the screen now shows that SpongeBob is wearing white rectangular underwear, that he has two eyes that have blue irises, two arms, two legs, two buck teeth, and three freckles on his cheek; he is also wearing two black shoes and two white socks with a blue stripe and a red stripe below the blue one. He goes over to the alarm clock and stops the blowing. SpongeBob starts climbing the ladder on the diving board and stops half way to talk to his pet snail.]
• SpongeBob: Today's the big day, Gary.
• Gary: Meow.
• SpongeBob: [on the diving board] Look at me! [jumps off it and leaves his underwear floating in the air] I'm... Naked! [lands directly into clothes pants; they are a white shirt, Brown pants, Black belt, and red neck tie. Squished, he goes to his gym room where there is a barbell made of two stuffed animals. He returns to normal] Got to be in top physical condition for today, Gary.
• Gary: Meow.
• [SpongeBob breathes deeply and grunts struggling to lift the dumbbell. Once he lifts it, he screams and then starts walking while holding the barbell in the air. Throws it in the air and the stuffed animals squeak as the barbell falls. Scene then shows exterior of SpongeBob's house]
• SpongeBob: I'm ready! [He opens the door and runs outside.] I'm ready, I'm ready, I'm ready. I'm ready, I'm ready, I'm ready, I'm ready... [walks past Easter Island Head and the rock from earlier in the episode. After SpongeBob exits the scene, the rock lifts with a starfish glued to it, He is pink and has green swim trunks with purple flowers on them. There are also dots on him.]
• Starfish: Go, SpongeBob! [falls of the rock] Whoa... [crashes]
• [scene cuts to SpongeBob from behind, looking at a Krusty Krab from distance. The Krusty Krab is a restaurant that looks like an old New England style lobster trap. It has 5 flags on the front, two glass doors, a metal chimney on the top, a Krabby Patty sign in the left front window, and A sign next to the restaurant that is a pole with a giant clam on top of it. The sign reads "The Krusty Krab", each word is under the previous word.]
• SpongeBob: There it is... [shows SpongeBob from front. His pupils are big.] the finest eating establishment ever established for eating. [shows Krusty Krab] The Krusty Krab, [Some exhaust comes out of the chimney.] Home of the Krabby Patty... [Zooms in to show "Help Wanted" sign]... with "Help Wanted" sign in the window. [shows SpongeBob again. His pupils are now small.] For years, I've been dreaming of this moment. I'm going to go in there, march straight to the manager, [Marches in place. Then Stops] look him in the eye, [Gets really close to the screen. Then goes back] lay it on the line... and I can't do this! [starts running away and stops when he sees the starfish from earlier.] Patrick!
• Patrick: Where do you think you're going?
• SpongeBob: I was just...
• Patrick: No, you're not. You're going to the Krusty Krab and get that job!
• SpongeBob: I can't, don't you see? I'm not good enough.
• Patrick: Whose first words were, "May I take your order?"?
• SpongeBob: Mine were.
• Patrick: Who made a spatula out of toothpicks in wood shop?
• SpongeBob: I did.
• Patrick: Who's the... [grunts] Who's... [grunts again] Who's a big, yellow cube with holes?
• SpongeBob: I am!
• Patrick: Who's ready? [Jumps]
• SpongeBob: [jumps] I'm ready!
• Patrick: Who's ready? [Jumps]
• SpongeBob: [jumps] I'm ready!
• Patrick: Who's ready? [Jumps]
• SpongeBob: [jumps very high in the air] I'm ready! [lands] I'm ready. [starts walking towards Krusty Krab] I'm ready, I'm ready...
• [The screen shows a six-legged octopus is cleaning "loser" text pointing at his head drawn on the Krusty Krab window. What the screen shows of him is that He has a big head, a log neck, just wears a brown shirt, two of his tentacles are his arms and the other four are his legs, he also has a big nose and is wearing a tall white hat with a blue front and a black section on the bottom. He hears SpongeBob going towards the Krusty Krab while repeating "I'm ready!" and turns in his direction. The screen now shows that he has big vertical oval eyes and vertical rectangular red pupils. He also has dots on his head. We can also see that the hat has a blue anchor on it.]
• Squidward: Oh, no. SpongeBob! What could he possibly want?
• [SpongeBob is almost at the Krusty Krab]
• SpongeBob: Go, SpongeBob! Go, SpongeBob! Go, SpongeBob, go self!
• [Squidward sees "Help Wanted" sign on the window, shrieks, drops everything and runs inside of the Krusty Krab.]
• Squidward: Mr. Krabs! [The interior is now shown. He runs towards register boat where Mr. Krabs is smelling money. Mr. Krabs is a red crab with two big claws that act as hands. He also is wearing a light blue shirt. He also has a skinny crooked nose and tall eye stalks. The camera doesn't show past his shirt. Next to Mr. Krabs is a sign that says "Order Here"] Hurry, Mr. Krabs, before it's too late. I got to tell you--
• [SpongeBob enters the Krusty Krab.]
• SpongeBob: [Off-Screen] Permission to come aboard, captain? [shows him at the door. He now has a deep voice.] I've been training my whole life to join the Krusty Crew, [His voice returns to normal] and now I'm ready. [He walks a few steps, then trips on a nail stuck in the floorboard and starts bouncing and yelling all over Krusty Krab and lands in front of Squidward and Mr. Krabs, who are now standing. The screen now shows that Mr. Krabs has a white undershirt and Blue pants with a black belt and a golden belt buckle.] Ah! [turns 180 degrees] Ooh. Um... So, uh, when do I start?
• Mr. Krabs: Well, lad, it looks like you don't even have your sea legs.
• SpongeBob: Mr. Krabs, please, I'll prove I'm fry cook material. Ask Squidward. [Squidward twitches] He'll vouch for me.
• [Squidward and Mr. Krabs walks away so Mr. Krabs can consult with Squidward]
• Squidward: [takes a deep breath] No.
• [Mr. Krabs winks to him and they both return to SpongeBob]
• Mr. Krabs: Well, lad, we'll give you a test, and if you pass you'll be on the Krusty Crew. [SpongeBob twitches] Go out and fetch me a... [SpongeBob takes out a notebook and pencil] A... Hydrodynamic spatula... with, um... port and starboard attachments, and, uh, turbo drive. [SpongeBob writes down all those things and Mr. Krabs puts a Krusty Krab hat on his head] And don't come back till you get one.
• SpongeBob: [looks himself in a hand mirror for a moment and then salutes] Aye aye, captain. One hydrodynamic spatula with port and starboard attachments, turbo drive, coming up, sir! [saluts again and starts walking towards exit]
• Mr. Krabs: Carry on! [SpongeBob leaves] We'll never see that lubber again.
• [we hear door closing in the background]
• Squidward: You're terrible. A hydro what?
• [they both start laughing and then the scene cuts to the exterior of the Krusty Krab where SpongeBob starts walking parallel with the street. SpongeBob leaves the scene and then five buses comes from direction SpongeBob went. The buses are orange and each has a periscope on the top of the bus. Each has four wheels. They also have a fan on the back.]
• Driver: Hey, hey, please! Passengers are to remain seated and not put their heads out the windows.
• [all five buses makes a circle around the Krusty Krab. Mr. Krabs and Squidward are still laughing inside. Scene cuts to show Mr. Krabs who has stopped laughing and gasped. Squidward is on the floor with laughter, he also stops.]
• Mr. Krabs: That sounded like hatch doors. [sniffs the air. Squidward lifts his head up] Do you smell it? That smell. A kind of smelly smell. A smelly smell that smells... smelly. [his pupils become big] Anchovies.
• Squidward: What?
• Mr. Krabs: Anchovies!
• [The Scene returns to the buses where the anchovies from all five buses enter Krusty Krab while clamoring and continues to clamor as they get inside. Squidward and Mr. Krabs jump into the register boat. Squidward tries calming them down]
• Squidward: Please, please! Quiet! [they all stop] Is this any way to behave? Hmm?
• Anchovy: Meep!
• Squidward: Can we show a little decency and form a neat, single-file line in front of the register?
• [anchovies start clamoring hysterically and smashing the register boat. Scene cuts to SpongeBob singing while entering Barg'N-mart. The Barg'N-Mart looks like a square treasure chest. It has two automatic sliding doors.]
• SpongeBob: ♪Barg'N-mart, meeting all your spatula needs.♪
• [scene cuts back to exterior of the Krusty Krab where Krusty Krab is bouncing because the anchovies are smashing things inside while Mr. Krabs is talking]
• Mr. Krabs: All hands on deck! Get your anchors out of your pants!
• [scene shows inside of Krusty Krab where anchovies are formed as a rough sea that throws register boat all around the Krusty Krab]
• Squidward: One single-file line is all I ask!
• Mr. Krabs: Whoa! Batten down the hatches, Mr. Squidward! We're taking on water, Mr. Squidward! [shows register boat completely smashed] I want my mommy, Mr. Squidward! [The two are now hugging as if their lives depended on it.]
• [The scene changes to show SpongeBob in the Barg'N-mart singing. He enters an aisle.]
• SpongeBob: ♪ Do, do, do-do do. Spat-u-la, spat-u-la, port and starboard attachments.♪
• [scene returns to the interior of Krusty Krab where Squidward and Mr. Krabs are still being thrown all around Krusty Krab]
• Squidward: Help!
• Mr. Krabs: Man overboard!
• [they both end up hanging on to a pillar]
• Mr. Krabs: Climb, Mr. Squidward, climb!
• [they both climb up the pillar and start looking at the rough "anchovies sea"]
• Mr. Krabs: This is the end! [shaking Squidward's tentacle] Good-bye, Mr. Squidward.
• Squidward: Oh, Mr. Krabs!
• [they both start sobbing. SpongeBob flies into scene by using a hydrodynamic spatula and starts talking over a speaker. They stop sobbing.]
• SpongeBob: Permission to come aboard, captain? ♪Da-dadada-da-dah!♪ Did someone order a spatula? [Squidward and Mr. Krabs babble incoherently] That's right, one hydrodynamic spatula with port and starboard attachments and let's not forget the turbo drive. [activates turbo drive and spatula starts slapping Squidward and Mr. Krabs until SpongeBob stops it] Would you believe they only had one in stock? To the kitchen! [starts flying to the kitchen] Who's hungry?!
• [anchovies clamor and song starts as SpongeBob flies through order window into the kitchen and crashes into the box full of patties. A Song begins]
• Tiny Tim (the singer): ♪Things that bother you never bother me. I'm as happy as pie, ha-ha!♪
• [SpongeBob starts shooting patties from his eyes and the patties start falling on the grill.]
• Tiny Tim: ♪Living in the sunlight, loving in the moonlight, having a wonderful time.♪
• [after the grill is filled, we see SpongeBob in the air with his eyes closed.]
• Tiny Tim: ♪Haven't got a lot, I don't need a lot. Coffee's only a dime♪
• [SpongeBob initiates port and starboard attachments, starts chopping up onions, lettuce, and tomatoes (in that order) with the spatula and chops himself during the process. He puts himself back together.]
• Tiny Tim: ♪Living in the sunlight, loving in the moonlight, having a wonderful time.♪
• [SpongeBob starts circulating around the Krusty Krab kitchen and then starts putting (in this order) mustard, ketchup, mayo, mustard, ketchup, mayo, mustard, and ketchup, to buns by stepping on the despensers with his feet]
• Tiny Tim: ♪Just take it from me, I'm just as free as any brother.♪
• [shows SpongeBob dancing some various moves and then turning into numbers from 1-4 while background color changes]
• Tiny Tim: ♪I do what I like just when I like, and how I love it.♪
• [He makes a smiley face with the eyes made of mustard and the mouth made of ketchup. He then makes his first official Krabby Patty and throws out the order window and it lands in an anchovy’s mouth.]
• Tiny Tim: ♪I'm right here to stay, when I'm old and gray. I'll be right in my prime♪
• [SpongeBob starts repeating actions of chopping vegetables, making a Krabby Patty and throwing it into anchovies' mouths through the order window]
• Tiny Tim: ♪Living in the sunlight, loving in the moonlight, having a wonderful time.♪
• [Tiny Tim starts humming the tune while SpongeBob is still repeating actions of preparing and serving Krabby Patties. After all anchovies happily leaves the Krusty Krab, the song ends and SpongeBob blows on his spatula. The scene changes to show Mr. Krabs hopping next to register boat, while a bag full of money is behind him.]
• Mr. Krabs: That was the finest fast-foodsmanship I've ever seen, Mr. SquarePants. [puts a name tag on SpongeBob's shirt] Welcome aboard.
• Squidward: But, but Mr. Krabs...
• Mr. Krabs: Three cheers for SpongeBob! [jumps] Hip, hip...
• Squidward: Hooray. Mr. Krabs...
• Mr. Krabs: [jumps] Hip, hip...
• Squidward: Hooray.
• Mr. Krabs: [jumps] Hip, hip...
• Squidward: Hooray. Mr. Krabs...
• Mr. Krabs: I'll be in my quarters counting up the booty.
• [Mr. Krabs goes to his quarters with the bag full of money and Patrick comes through the front door.]
• Patrick: Good morning, Krusty Crew!
• [Patrick walks to the register boat]
• Squidward: What would you like to order, Patrick?
• Patrick: One Krabby Patty, please.
• [SpongeBob twitches, initiates his spatula, jumps through order window into the Krusty Krab kitchen, some crashing is heard and then Patrick is launched out of the Krusty Krab by thousands of Krabby Patties. Squidward is talking while Tiny Tim is singing in the background]
• Squidward: Mr. Krabs, Mr. Krabs! Mr. Krabs, come see your new employee!
• Tiny Tim: ♪Living in the sunlight, loving in the moonlight, having a wonderful time!♪
• [Episode ends with the screen showing the exterior of the Krusty Krab, while there is some crashing around on the inside.]