User:AW10/transcripts/Ripped Pants (transcript)/errors

List

Transcript

Errors

1. Lines 1 and 2, He is called the French Narrator.
2. Line 1, you forgot the "]".
3. Line 1, do not use "camera".
4. Line 2, it is inhabitants, not inhabiatants.
5. Line 5, it should be "doing a Squidward impression", instead of "in deep voice".
6. Lines 6, 27, 37, 80, 110, and 120, Please do not use "the camera shows"; instead use "[Insert noun here] appears" or [Insert noun here] [insert other verb if there is one].
7. Line 7, since he is still using his Squidward impression, this doesn't need to be stated more than once.
8. Line 8, it is pizza boxes, not cartons.
9. Line 9, it is wearing, not wearig.
10. Line 10, it should be pointed out when there is a change in voice.
11. Line 17, "weightlifters" is better than "guys who are lifting weights".
12. Lines 19, 22, and 26, it is better to use things like "she screams". instead of giving a word to a sound.
13. Lines 20, 27 and 34, please do not use "is heard", unless you need too.
14. Lines 20, 34, 45, and 48, you forgot the punctuation.
15. Lines 29 and 39, "some" should only be used to describe an indeterminable amount of something that is between "a few" and "many" of those things. (Yes, I am aware that that is a contradictory sentence.)
16. Line 34, Please do not use "are seen"/"is seen".
17. Line 41 and 116(and to a lesser extent Line 39), it is "is", not "gets". "Gets" should be used when a singular noun obtains something. (example: SpongeBob gets the ball.) It can also be used to replace "understand". (Example: Do you get my joke?)
18. Lines 45 and 48, Frisbee is a copyrighted name, so it should be "plastic disc".
19. Line 97, It is approaches, not appraches.
20. Line 98. "touches herself" can sound inappropriate. I replaced it with "touches her skin".
21. Line 99, it is "SpongeBob", not "SponeBob".
22. Lines 100, 101, 103-105, 107, 110, 111, and 113, the fish is named "Dexter" and the Whale is named "Frank".
23. Line 102, it is just "ground", not "a ground".
24. Lines 110 and 114, in English, a "daf" is called a "tambourine".
25. Line 114, it is "her", not "his".
26. Lines 115 and 116, you should type out all numbers that have one syllable.
27. Line 122, It is "Larry", not "larry".