User:AW10/transcripts/Tea at the Treedome (transcript)

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• [Episode opens up with a jellyfish buzzing like a bee. When the jellyfish is out of sight, SpongeBob, who was behind the rock, shows himself by parting the seaweed attached to a rock and takes a black telescope out. the scene shows him watching the jellyfish from the beginning of episode; still buzzing.]
• SpongeBob: Wow, four stingers.
• [SpongeBob puts his telescope away and takes out his jellyfishing glasses, which are black with squarish lenses, and net, which is made of bamboo and netting. He waits for the jellyfish to stand still, puts his foot close to it, then move his whole body next to it and ends up catching himself instead of the jellyfish.]
• SpongeBob: Oh!
• [SpongeBob hears a girl yelling and goes to check what is going on. The scene then shows a land squirrel fighting with a giant clam. From what we can see, the squirrel is wearing some kind of space suit, the suit has two red line that sound a blue line on each arm, grey boots with a red dot, the rest of the suit is white, except for the top which is a clear sphere. The top half of the squirrel's head is brown and the bottom half is tan, she also has two ears on the top of her head. The clam has a purple exterior and a light purple interior, it's tongue it red. SpongeBob approaches and starts watching that whole scene. He ducks down behind the rock ledge that is separating him and the fight. He suddenly gasps and turns around.]
• SpongeBob: Where have I seen this before? [He takes out his "Field Guide", which is light blue with white lettering and a black anchor below the title, and locates "Land Squirrel" in it] Here it is-- land squirrel. [The picture of the land squirrel shows the top portion of it's head is brown and the bottom portion is tan, it has a pink nose and two big white buckteeth.] That little squirrel is in trouble.
• [The scene changes to show land squirrel trying to stick a giant clam into the ground. She looks identical to the picture of the land squirrel. the scene show that the front of trhe suit has a zipper and a patch on the left side which is three dots. It also shows that she has flower that is pink with a red orange center on the top of her helmet.]
• Land Squirrel: Take that, you sorry old clam. You need to learn some manners. [Finally manages to stick the giant clam into the ground. Talks while leaving the scene] You're about as ugly as homemade soup.
• SpongeBob: [still at safe distance] Hooray, land squirrel!
• [The giant clam frees itself and goes to attack the land squirrel. SpongeBob makes a sudden movement and his glasses fall off]
• SpongeBob: Look out! [The scene changes to Show that the land squirrel is inside the giant clam, trying to fight her way out. The scene changes to show SpongeBob running down the wall to rescue the squirrel.] Hold on, little squirrel!
• [SpongeBob approaches the giant clam and performs some karate moves around it]
• SpongeBob: Ho-ho-ho! Ho-hee! Hoy-ya! [He crouches and then sits on the giant clam.] You have fought well, giant clam. Prepare to be vanquished.
• [SpongeBob tries to open the giant clam and it seems like he is managing to do that]
• SpongeBob: Hey, I'm actually doing it.
• [Land squirrel manages to open the giant clam from inside and launches SpongeBob out of the scene. The scene changes to show that he is stuck in a sea plant.]
• SpongeBob: [gets out of the sea plant] Your shell is mine! [Pulls his pants up and goes to fight the giant clam]
• [SpongeBob ends up strangling the giant clam's tongue before realizing that the land squirrel has been already set free.]
• Land Squirrel: [jumps out of the giant clam; leaving SpongeBob trapped in it] Hold on there, little square dude.
• [The land squirrel rescues SpongeBob by performing various karate moves on the giant clam, launches the giant clam out of sight and approaches SpongeBob]
• SpongeBob: Hey, you like karate, too. [He gets up and performs some karate moves and ends up being upside down] So, what's your name?
• Land Squirrel: Sandy. [Performing some karate moves while talking] So, what... do... you... call... yourself?
• SpongeBob: [climbs up the hill while talking] I'm... SpongeBob! [Jumps off the hill before reaching the top. lands in front of sandy with his upper left corner in the ground.]
• Sandy: Well, SpongeBob... [Approaches a giant rock] take a gander at this. [karate chops the giant rock.]
• [The scene changes to show SpongeBob confused. The scene returns to Sandy and the giant rock. Some rumbling and cracking can be heard. A few moments later whole rock explodes and pieces of it falling on SpongeBob]
• SpongeBob: Oh. [Shows Sandy smiling. SpongeBob throws serious face] Oh, yeah? Watch this. [Yells and does an armpit-fart]
• Sandy: [Approaches him and giggles] I like you, SpongeBob. We could be tighter than bark on a tree. [Karate chops SpongeBob's head]
• SpongeBob: Uh, I like you too, Sandy. [Tries to slap back, but his hand gets hurt by Sandy's helmet] Say, uh, what is that thing on your head?
• Sandy: That's my air helmet.
• SpongeBob: May I try it on?
• Sandy: Heck, no. I need it to breathe. I got to have my air.
• SpongeBob: Me, too! I love air. Air is good.
• Sandy: No kidding?
• SpongeBob: Why, air is my middle name. The more air, the better. Can't get enough air.
• Sandy: Shee-oot! [Gives SpongeBob a map that shows how to get to her house] How about coming over tomorrow for tea and cookies then? [SpongeBob checks the map. The map shows a sketch of a tree in a dome, next to it is an arrow with the words "Sandy's HousE". There dashes that go to a red "X", next to the "X" are the words "You are here". The scene returns to show the two of them] Don't be late. [She leaves.]
• SpongeBob: Okay, see you tomorrow.
• [We see him running out of the scene and getting back to his neighborhood. He passes both his and Squidward's houses.]
• SpongeBob: [Shouting] Patrick! Patrick, Patrick, Patrick!
• [He gets to the Patrick's rock where Patrick is sunbathing with green sunglasses on.]
• SpongeBob: What's air?
• Patrick: [Gets up] Huh?
• SpongeBob: I just met this girl. [Patrick turns to SpongeBob and takes off his sunglasses.] She wears a hat full of... air.
• Patrick: Do you mean she "puts on airs"?
• SpongeBob: I guess so.
• Patrick: That's just fancy talk. If you want to be fancy, [Puts his pinky up] hold your pinky up like this. The higher you hold it, the fancier you are.
• SpongeBob: [Puts his pinky up] How's that?
• Patrick: Higher.
• SpongeBob: [Puts his pinky up even higher] Like that?
• Patrick: Now, that's fancy! They should call you SpongeBob FancyPants.
• [Scene cuts to Sandy's house, which is an oak tree with a door at it's base in a dome, on the right of the tree is a hamster wheel and on the left of the tree is a picnic table, the dome also has a section in the front that connects the dome to the outside. The doors in this section look and work identical to front door at SpongeBob's house. SpongeBob and Patrick are walking to it. SpongeBob still holds his pinky up. He is holding a bouquet of flowers in the other hand.]
• Patrick: Remember, when in doubt, pinky out. [They both get to the front door.] You can do it, SpongeBob. [Opens the hatch door for him] I'll be watching.
• SpongeBob: Thanks, pal.
• [Patrick closes the door and SpongeBob gets inside the section that connects the outside to the dome. He rings a bell that is under a speaker.]
• Sandy: Hello?
• SpongeBob: Hiya, Sandy. [He turns around] It's me, SpongeBob. [Turns around]
• Sandy: Hold on a sec, I'll let you in.
• [A red light above the section goes off. The water drains while SpongeBob whistles. As it fully drains, he continues to whistles, but it is now stifled. Realizes that there is no water in there anymore and pounds on the door to the dome, while screaming]
• SpongeBob: Sandy! Open up! Sandy! Sandy!
• [Sandy opens the door and he starts flopping on the ground like a fish out of water. Stops and turns to Sandy]
• SpongeBob: Sandy, something's gone terribly wrong. There is no water in... [Shows the nature inside Sandy's treedome] here.
• Sandy: 'course there's no water. Nothing but air.
• SpongeBob: [Stands up and inspects the environment by waving his arm and sniffing.] No water? [Turns to Sandy while having a sad face]
• Sandy: That ain't a problem, is it? [Performs a karate chop]
• SpongeBob: Problem? [Performs a karate chop too] That's how I like my air. [Inhales deeply and when Sandy leaves he starts gagging and coughing. He is starting to dry up.] With no water.
• Sandy: well, all right. [Talks while cart-wheeling around her house] I made Texas tea and cookies. Well, come on in. [Performs a karate chop while in the air.]
• [Sandy exits the scene and SpongeBob then enters the scene. His legs are squeaking as he walks.]
• Sandy: [Off-Screen] That's not in. In!
• [SpongeBob moves forward but he is still far from Sandy. His legs are squeaking once again]
• Sandy: You're a funny little dude. [Comes back to scene and grabs SpongeBob aside] Come on, I'll give you the grand tour.
• [Scene cuts to show the sun which is shining very bright.]
• Sandy: So this is my own private little air bubble. [Camera pans down to show SpongeBob and Sandy standing. SpongeBob has heat lines coming off of him.] This air is the driest... [SpongeBob gasps] purest... [SpongeBob gasps again] most airiest air in the whole sea. [Notices something outside the scene] Oh, over there is my birdbath. [Shows an orange bird with a light orange belly and a red beak, chirping cheerily in a grey birdbath full of water. The scene returns to the two. SpongeBob seems excited about the water in Sandy's birdbath.] And that's my oak tree. [Sandy turns her head away from SpongeBob and SpongeBob tries to use that chance to get to the birdbath] It provides me with extra air. [Shows bird chirping again. Scene returns to the two.] This dome is made of the strongest polyurethane; that's a fancy name for plastic. [SpongeBob tries to leave again, but Sandy turns her head.] Ain't that just the bee's knees? [SpongeBob nods] Tell you what, weren't easy getting here neither.
• [SpongeBob exits the scene and camera shows birdbath. SpongeBob's footsteps can be heard and Sandy talking in the background]
• Sandy: First, I...
• [SpongeBob dips himself in the birdbath, squashing the bird that soon launches him back to Sandy who has not realized he was gone.]
• Sandy: ...that's my treadmill. [Turns to SpongeBob] That's how I stay in tiptop shape. Oh, come on. Let's have that tea now. [Performs some karate moves and then leaves]
• [SpongeBob gasps and then some knocking on the dome can be heard. Scene shows that it was Patrick]
• Patrick: [Pointing at his pinky putted up] Pinky, pinky!
• [SpongeBob puts his pinky up and gasps. Scene cuts to him sitting at the picnic table with his pinky up]
• SpongeBob: [Takes flowers out] I brought you some flowers.
• [Camera zooms out to show Sandy entering the scene and approaching SpongeBob]
• Sandy: For me? How sweet! [Takes flowers from SpongeBob's hand with heavy resistance. Camera shows SpongeBob's hand dry and breaking apart] You okay?
• SpongeBob: [Raspily] Yes. I'm okay.
• Sandy: You know, you're the first sea critter to ever visit.
• SpongeBob: [Raspily] I can't imagine why.
• Sandy: Can I get you anything?
• SpongeBob: [raspily] Water would be nice.
• Sandy: I'm going to put these in a vase.
• SpongeBob: [raspily] Take your time.
• [When Sandy leaves the scene, SpongeBob starts gasping while meandering all over the dome. He finally gets to the hatch door and stumbles onto it.]
• SpongeBob: [raspily] I got to get out of here.
• [SpongeBob tries to open the hatch door and then remembers what Sandy said to him]
• Sandy: [in SpongeBob's head] I like you, SpongeBob. We could be tighter than bark on a tree.
• [SpongeBob tries to open the hatch door again, but this time he remembers what Patrick said to him]
• Patrick: [in SpongeBob's head] When in doubt, pinky out.
• [SpongeBob puts his pinky up, turns around re-energized and starts talking raspily]
• SpongeBob: I don't need water. Water is for quitters. [Starts heading back to the table] I don't need it. I don't need it. I don't need it. I don't need it. I don't need it. [the final time he says it he gets to the table and starts doubting what he just said.]
• Sandy: Why, these flowers are just beautiful. [Enters the scene with the flowers in the vase full of water with ice] They'll live much, much longer in a vase full of ice... cold... water. [Sits in front of SpongeBob] So tell me about yourself. [Stares at SpongeBob curiously] It must be fascinating being a sea critter. [SpongeBob, obsessed by a vase full of water, don't answers] SpongeBob? [Timer dings] Oh, there's the cookies. [Heads to the kitchen] Be right back.
• SpongeBob: [thinking] I don't need it. I don't need it. I definitely don't need it. [During the next few times he says it the scene goes back in forth between a zoomed in SpongeBob and the flowers zooming into the ice floating in the water] I don't need it. I don't need it. I don't need it. I don't need it. [Shouting] I need it! [launches himself in the air like a rocket, bounces off of the top of the dome, lands on the table, takes a vase, and starts wheezing]
• Patrick: [Knocks on the dome] No, SpongeBob! No, no, no! Stop! [Puts his pinky up and points at it] Pinky, pinky!
• SpongeBob: [Puts his pinky up, drinks the water from the vase and yells raspily] I'm a quitter!
• [The Scene changes to show Patrick with a face like he is thinking "oh". The angle changes show Patrick's back side and SpongeBob on the inside of the dome running towards the hatch door while wailing. Patrick runs after SpongeBob. SpongeBob crashes into the door when he reaches it. The moment later, Patrick runs into the dome while still leaving SpongeBob glued to the hatch door]
• Patrick: You can't leave now. You'll blow it.
• SpongeBob: [With his face still glue to the door] Air is not good, Patrick. Air is not good.
• Patrick: [takes him off of the hatch door] You're just being shy. [Starts taking him back to the table] Don't worry, buddy. You're doing fine. [Pants heavily] I won't let you blow... this. [Wheezes and gags] What kind of place is this?! [Runs towards the hatch door and is unable to open it] There's no water in here!
• SpongeBob: [Jumps on him and is unable to open it too] I tried to tell you.
• Patrick: We got to get out of here! [tries to open them again]
• SpongeBob: [Crashes Patrick] You're doing it wrong.
• Patrick: Wait, no, we've got to get out.
• [Scene cuts to show the sun shining very bright while we here door opens and closes in the background. Scene cuts again to show Sandy coming from her tree with a plate with two glasses of tea and cookies on it.]
• Sandy: Come and get it. You're all going to like this-- [Shrieks and drops everything off the plate]
• [Camera then shows SpongeBob and Patrick laying in the grass and looking as a real sponge and starfish. Scene cuts to show Sandy holding a large red hose and standing on a ladder, so she can fill SpongeBob's and Patrick's helmets with water. The helmets look almost identical to Sandy's air helmet.]
• Sandy: [Off screen] There. That ought to do it. [Gets off the ladder] If ya'll needed water, you should have asked.
• [As Sandy leaves, SpongeBob and Patrick smile embarrassed. A few moments later, Sandy returns with plate with three glasses of tea on it]
• Sandy: I propose a toast. [Hands glasses of tea to SpongeBob and Patrick] To new friends! [She drinks the tea, but SpongeBob and Patrick are unable to due to the water helmets] Hold on a second. [Puts tea bags in SpongeBob and Patrick's water helmets and takes empty glasses] I hope ya'll like your tea strong. [Off Screen] Drink up! [Patrick nudges SpongeBob and they both put their pinky up and slurp the tea]
• SpongeBob, Patrick and Sandy: Ah!
• [Episode ends]