Banned in Bikini Bottom/transcript: Difference between revisions

Latest revision as of 17:29, 26 July 2025

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+{{EpisodeTranscript}}
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+{{L|''[The episode begins at the Krusty Krab. SpongeBob is cooking Krabby Patties, and hears them sizzle. A big puff of steam comes up. SpongeBob sniffs it in, exhales with content and in the shape of a heart, then kisses it.]''}}
-|prev = SpongeHenge
+{{L|SpongeBob|I know I've said this 90 times already but... ♪I love Krabby Patties I think that they are swell. They are the best, there's no contest, and now I'm going to yell...♪ Whoo! ''[catches his breath, inhales an enormous amount of air, and inflates like a big balloon. At the same time, Squidward walks up to the soda fountain with a box of cups, and builds a pyramid-shaped stack with the cups. After he finishes, SpongeBob, fully inflated, starts singing loudly]'' ♪I love Krabby Patties! I think they're swell. They're so neat, and quite a treat, and how I love the way they smell... La la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la.♪}}
-|title = Banned in Bikini Bottom
+{{L|Squidward|''[the house of cups falls down]'' I knew I shouldn't have gotten out of bed today.}}
-|next = Stanley S. SquarePants
+{{L|SpongeBob|♪La la la la laaaaaaa... la la la la!♪}}
-|titlecard = Banned in Bikini Bottom.jpg
+{{L|''[A tour bus comes out with Miss Gristlepuss dusting the ground, coming out, and blowing a whistle that signals more ladies that are similar to her. Mr. Krabs is at the door wearing a viking helmet for some reason.]''}}
-|season = 5
+{{L|Mr. Krabs|Hello, and welcome one, and all your money to ye olde Krusty Krabbie!}}
-|episode = 100a
+{{L|Miss Gristlepuss|Come along, sisters. Pay no mind to this crimson abomination! ''[Crimson is a shade of red. Gristlepuss walks into restaurant with sisters in single file behind her, stopping at the register and Squidward, who is reading a "Gossip" Magazine]''}}
-|airdate = [[November 23]], [[2007]]
+{{L|Squidward|''[notices Gristlepuss and screams]''}}
-|seasonname = five
+{{L|Miss Gristlepuss|Greetings. Although your establishment seems repugnant and foul in nature, it seems not to offend our sensitivities. It is for that reason, plus the fact that we have been stuck on a tour bus for several days, that my sisters and I would like to eat something here.}}
-}}
+{{L|Squidward|Okay. But first, let me call the mortician and tell him his uniform's been stolen. ''[cracks up]'' Clothing zinger!}}
-(At the Krusty Krab. SpongeBob is cooking Krabby Patties, and hears them sizzle. A big puff of steam comes up, and forms the shape of a heart. SpongeBob kisses it.)
+{{L|Mr. Krabs|Squidward! These wretched hags-I mean, these little lovely ladies-are obviously here to eat. So let's sell 'em- I mean, serve them some delicious Krabby Patties!}}
+{{L|Miss Gristlepuss|Well, Mr...um...}}
-SpongeBob: I know I've said this 90 times already but... I love [[Krabby Patties]] I think that they are swell. They are the best There's no contest And now I'm going to yell.
+{{L|Mr. Krabs|''[pulls eyes off like a top hat]'' Krabs, my lady. ''[places them back]''}}
+{{L|Miss Gristlepuss|Mr. Grabs, you know the basic rules of behaving like a civilized bottom feeder. Perhaps your restaurant isn't quite the hive of degenerates it appears to be, and we had you figured all wrong.}}
-SpongeBob: Whew! (SpongeBob fills his holes up with air while Squidward walks to the soda machine with a box of cups, and makes a replica of a house of cards with cups. The music continues.)<br />
+{{L|Mr. Krabs|'Course ya did, because you're about to find out. SpongeBob!}}
+{{L|SpongeBob|''[comes with tray of Krabby Patties and sings]'' ♪Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah... I like Krabby Patties! I think they're swell. I like Krabby Patties, can you not tell? Krabby Patties, Krabby Patties. They're so neat. La la la la la. Sweet to eat. La la la la la. Really neat. Sweet to eat. Treat that's neat. Sweet treat sweet treat. ''[utter gibberish]'' La la la la la la la la laaaaaaaa!♪}}
-I love Krabby Patties!
+{{L|Miss Gristlepuss|''[blows her whistle, causing everyone to flinch and make SpongeBob fall on the floor, Patties and all]'' Look at this wild hooligan! Running amok, singing, dancing. It's... It's shameless. ''[zooms in on Gristlepuss' face]'' Disgusting. Avert your eyes. ''[grabs onto SpongeBob]'' Young man, what has caused you to act like this? I must know!}}
-I think they're swell.
+{{L|SpongeBob|Actually, ma'am, ''[holds up a Krabby Patty]'' it was the absolute fun and deliciousness of a Krabby Patty.}}
-They're so neat
+{{L|Miss Gristlepuss|Krabby Patty?}}
-and quite a treat
+{{L|SpongeBob|Yeah, that's right.}}
-And how I love the way they smell...
+{{L|Miss Gristlepuss|Well, anything this fun and delicious can't be good. Why, what would this world be if everyone cavorted it in such a manner?}}
-La la - la la la la - la la -&nbsp
+{{L|Mr. Krabs|''[outraged]'' Who are you with your tight lips, raised eyebrows, and conservative clothes?}}
-La la la la - la la la la
+{{L|Miss Gristlepuss|I am Ms. Gristlepuss. We are The United Organization Of Fish Against Things That Are Fun And Delicious. Or, T.U.O.O.F.A.T.T.A.F.A.D. for short. And we are going to ban these so called "Krabby Patties," and close your restaurant ''forever''!}}
-la la la la la la la la
+{{L|Mr. Krabs|What the...! ''[SpongeBob cuts in]''}}
+{{L|SpongeBob|Ms. Gristlepuss, maybe if you were to taste the Krabby Patty for yourself, you too could experience the ''awesome pleasure''.}}
-Squidward: I knew I shouldn't have gotten out of bed today.
+{{L|Miss Gristlepuss|I would sooner sprout legs and do the Watusi!}}
+{{L|SpongeBob|Ooh! Okay.}}
-SpongeBob: La la la la laaaaaaa...lalalala!!!
+{{L|Mr. Krabs|Ah, it don't matter anyway, lad. ''[mockingly]'' She can't close us down.}}
+{{L|''[But later and unfortunately, the Krusty Krab is locked up and has a "Closed" sign on it.]''}}
-(a tour bus comes out with Miss Priss blowing a whistle that signals more ladies)
+{{L|Mr. Krabs|''[shouting]'' She closed us down! I'm ruined! ''[cries]'' How did it come to this?}}
+{{L|Squidward|You called Ms. Gristlepuss a disgusting old prune, then you threatened her with a french-fry strainer.}}
-Mr. Krabs: Hello, and welcome one, and all your money to ye olde Krusty Krab!
+{{L|Mr. Krabs|Well, I didn't know her husband was the chief of police!}}
+{{L|''[Cut to behind SpongeBob, Squidward, and Mr. Krabs, where Gristlepuss and 4 look-alikes stand in front of a muscular police officer going into a police car.]''}}
-Mrs. Grizzlepuss: Come along, sisters. Pay no mind to this crimson abomination!<br />
+{{L|Miss Gristlepuss|Thanks again, Al.}}
+{{L|Al|Any time, honey. See you at home for dinner. Mmm! ''[licks his lips]'' I'm starving. ''[drives away]'' Yee-haw!}}
-Squidward: Aaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!<br />
+{{L|Miss Gristlepuss|I just love that man.}}
+{{L|''[Cut back to Mr. Krabs tugging at the lock on the Krusty Krab teary-eyed, then to SpongeBob and Squidward sitting.]''}}
-Mrs. Grizzlepuss: Greetings. Although your establishment seems repugnent, and foul in nature, It seems not to offend our sensativities. It is for that reason, plus the fact that we have been stuck on a tour bus for several days that my sisters and I would like to eat something here.<br />
+{{L|Squidward|How long has he been standing over there?}}
+{{L|SpongeBob|''[looks at watch]'' Uh, 4 days.}}
-Squidward: Okay. But first let me call the mortition and tell him his uniform's been stolen. (Squidward cracks up) Clothing zinger!<br />
+{{L|''[Mr. Krabs walks over.]''}}
+{{L|Mr. Krabs|It's no use! ''[raises claws, which become weird-like. Both SpongeBob and Squidward are extremely shocked]'' ''[screaming]'' I'm ruined! ''[cries and runs away]''}}
-Mr. Krabs: Squidward! These wretched hags- I mean, these little lovely ladies are obviously here to eat. So let's sell them- I mean, serve them some delicious Krabby Patties!
+{{L|SpongeBob|You know, it's too bad. The only way to make Krabby Patties again would be if you opened a place that didn't look like a restaurant and did it secretly.}}
+{{L|Mr. Krabs|''[comes right back]'' That's it! A secret Krusty Krab! ''[whispering]'' And I know just where to open it.}}
-Mrs. Grizzlepuss: Well mister..<br />
+{{L|''[Cut to SpongeBob's pineapple house, where Squidward is painting a banner that says "Grand Opening! The SECRET Krusty Krab!" Cut to inside the house. Mr. Krabs is dusting the cash register.]''}}
+{{L|Mr. Krabs|There ya are, Betsy! Good as new! ''[kisses the register as SpongeBob enters through door]''}}
-Mr. Krabs: (Lifts eyes off head like a hat.) Krabs, m'lady.<br />
+{{L|SpongeBob|Mr. Krabs, I-}}
+{{L|Mr. Krabs|''[screams in shock]''}}
-Mrs. Grizzlepuss: Mr. Krabs, you know the basic rules of behaving like a civilized bottomfeeder. Perhaps your restaraunt isn't quite the hive of degenerents it appears to be. And we had you figured all wrong.<br />
+{{L|SpongeBob|Whoa, sorry. I was just wondering-}}
+{{L|Mr. Krabs|You know, lad, I can remember a time when people used to knock before entering someone else's home!}}
-Mr. Krabs: Of course you did, because you're about to find out. SpongeBob!<br />
+{{L|SpongeBob|Yeah, but...this ''is'' my home.}}
+{{L|Mr. Krabs|Oh, yeah...}}
-SpongeBob: (still singing "I Love Krabby Patties")
+{{L|''[Patrick walks in.]''}}
+{{L|Patrick|Hey guys!}}
-Aaah...I like Krabby Patties!
+{{L|SpongeBob|Hey, Patrick! Thanks for helping out today!}}
-I think they're swell.
+{{L|Patrick|You bet! Where do you want these extra buns? ''[holds up an empty bag]''}}
-I like Krabby Patties
+{{L|SpongeBob|''[points to the bag]'' Patrick, that bag is totally empty.}}
-And you cannot tell.
+{{L|''[Patrick then lets out a big burp.]''}}
-Krabby Patties
+{{L|Patrick|Oops.}}
-Krabby Patties.
+{{L|''[Cut to a telescope sighting of the Krusty Krab sign, with a plank on it that says "Closed," then to Plankton with a small telescope in hand.]''}}
-They're so neat.
+{{L|Plankton|Happy day, Karen! That fool Krabs changed the name of his restaurant to the closed Krab! Everyone will think it's closed, and come eat here instead! He'll be ruined by tomorrow! ''[chuckles]'' What an idiot!}}
-Lalalalala. Sweet to eat.
+{{L|Karen|It ''is'' closed.}}
-Lalalalala. Realy neat.
+{{L|Plankton|What?}}
-Really neat.
+{{L|Karen|Ms. Gristlepuss and her husband banned Krabby Patties for being fun and delicious.}}
-Treat that's neat.
+{{L|Plankton|Banned? Then that means, my day of reckoning has come at last! I won, I tell you! I've won! And what better way than by default? ''[gets a tiny coat and tiny hat off a tiny rack]''}}
-Sweet treat sweet treat.
+{{L|Karen|Where are you going?}}
-(Giberish)
+{{L|Plankton|Oh, out to celebrate. ''[opens tiny automatic door and exits]'' Don't wait up for me! ''[door closes. Cut to a line to the secret Krusty Krab]''}}
+{{L|Harold|''[gets pushed]'' Quit shoving.}}
-Mrs. Grizzlepuss: (blows her whistle) Look at this wild hooligan. Running amock, singing, dancing, it's shapless, disgusting. Alvert your eyes. Young man, what has caused you to act like this? I must know.<br />
+{{L|Nat|I wasn't shoving. I was going like that and you happened to be standing there.}}
+{{L|Harold|That's called shoving.}}
-SpongeBob: Actually, ma'am, It's the absolute fun, and deliciousness of a Krabby Patty.<br />
+{{L|Nat|No, it isn't.}}
+{{L|Harold|Yes, it is.}}
-Mrs. Grizzlepuss: Krabby Patty?<br />
+{{L|Nat|Nope.}}
+{{L|Harold|Yes!}}
-SpongeBob: Yeah. That's right.<br />
+{{L|Nat|Nope! ''[Plankton arrives]''}}
+{{L|Plankton|Excuse me, gents! But what's with all the hullabaloo?}}
-Mrs. Grizzlepuss: Well, anything this fun and delicious can't be good. Why, what would this world be if everyone cavorted it in such a manner?
+{{L|Harold|We're just waiting in line to buy a Krabby Patty.}}
+{{L|Plankton|Krabby Patty?! ''[notices the secret restaurant and steam comes out of him in anger]''}}
-Mr. Krabs: Who are you with your tight lips, raised eyebrows, and conservative clothes?
+{{L|Patrick|''[opens door to let out a customer]'' Thank you, come again! ''[closes door, opens tiny hatch]'' Can I help whoever's next, please? ''[Plankton cuts to the front of the line with a ladder and climbs up to the hatch]'' What's the password, please?}}
+{{L|Plankton|What are you talking about, you gargantuan buffoon?}}
-Mrs. Grizzlepuss: I am Mrs. Grizzlepuss. We are the United Organization of Fish Against things that are fun and delicious. Or TUOOFATTAFAD, for short. And we are going to ban these so called Krabby Patties, and close your restaurant forever!
+{{L|Patrick|That's it! ''[opens door]'' Come right in!}}
+{{L|Plankton|Curse you! ''[falls to the ground. Cut to the restaurant area where people enjoy their Krabby Patties. Gary serves as a waiter here]''}}
-Mr. Krabs: What the...!
+{{L|Gary|Meow.}}
+{{L|Squidward|So, would you like to secret-size that for two dollars more?}}
-SpongeBob: Mrs. Grizzlepuss, maybe if you were to taste the Krabby Patty for yourself, you too could experience the awesome pleasure.
+{{L|Customer|Of course!}}
+{{L|Mr. Krabs|Hey, Squidwart. You haven't seen any sign of... you know... ''[whispers]'' the cops! Have ya?}}
-Mrs. Grizzlepuss: I would sooner sprout legs and do the watusi!
+{{L|Squidward|Did you just call me "Squidwart"?}}
+{{L|Mr. Krabs|Okay, thanks. I'm gonna go see what SpongeBob's doing. ''[goes to kitchen]'' Hey, SpongeBob! SpongeBob? ''[SpongeBob is shuddering under his table]'' SpongeBob? What are you doing under the table?}}
-SpongeBob: Ooh! Okay.
+{{L|SpongeBob|If Krabby Patties are illegal now, aren't we breaking the law?}}
+{{L|Mr. Krabs|There's an old saying, lad. What doesn't kill ya... usually succeeds in the second attempt.}}
-Mr. Krabs: Ah, it don't matter anyway, lad. She can't close us down. (cut to the Krusty Krab locked up and has a "Closed" sign on it) She closed us down!!!! (cries)
+{{L|SpongeBob|But what does that have to do with making Krabby Patties?}}
+{{L|Mr. Krabs|Nothing! But if don't get out there and start cooking, I'll make ya start taking weekends off!}}
-Squidward: You called Miss Priss a disgusting old prune and you threatened her with a french-fry strainer.
+{{L|SpongeBob|''[runs from the table]'' Nooooooo!}}
+{{L|Plankton|''[spying on Mr. Krabs]'' So, Mr. Krabs is operating under the table, huh? Well, two can play at that game!}}
-Mr. Krabs: Well, I didn't know that her husband was the chief of police.
+{{L|''[Cut to the phone in the library. A hook attached to a rope is thrown onto the phone and Plankton climbs onto it.]''}}
+{{L|Plankton|''[pants]'' Being a ruthless mastermind sure takes a lot outta ya. ''[dials a phone number]''}}
-Mrs. Grizzlepuss: Thanks again, Al.
+{{L|Al|Hello, this is officer Al, chief of police.}}
+{{L|Plankton|Cops, I need you!}}
-Officer Al: Anytime, honey. See ya at home for dinner. Mmm, I'm starving. YEE-HA!!!! (drives away)
+{{L|''[Cuts to police cars going towards the secret restaurant. Miss Gristlepuss rides in Al's car.]''}}
+{{L|Miss Gristlepuss|''[points to restaurant]'' There! ''[they arrive and people flee from them. Cut to the entrance. There was a knock on the door]''}}
-Mrs. Grizzlepuss: I just love that man.
+{{L|Patrick|''[opens hatch]'' What's the pa-- ''[the police bust in and the door falls on Patrick]'' Nope, that's not it!}}
+{{L|''[People are screaming as the police invade the house. Plankton lifts up the bun from a Krabby Patty and laughs. Three fish flee the couch and a S.W.A.T. team member beats up the Krabby Patties. They also run over Gary, who is dizzy and retreats into his shell. They pack up Krabby Patties in huge bags.]''}}
-Mr. Krabs: (Pulls on giant lock in front of door.)
+{{L|Miss Gristlepuss|You missed one!}}
+{{L|Mr. Krabs|Oh, Ms. Gristlepuss! I'm sorry we sold Krabby Patties. But do you really have to send us to jail?}}
-Squidward: How long has he been standing over there.
+{{L|Miss Gristlepuss|Of course I do! You are a nuisance to my community!}}
+{{L|Al|You tell him, honey! Ha! ''[eats a Krabby Patty]'' That's my girl!}}
-SpongeBob: (Looks at watch) Um, four days.
+{{L|Miss Gristlepuss|''[gasp]'' Al! What are you doing!?}}
+{{L|Al|Having some lunch.}}
-Mr. Krabs: It's no use, (breaks out crying while talking) I'M RUINED! (Cries and runs off.)
+{{L|Miss Gristlepuss|Unhand that sandwich at once! ''[runs towards him]''}}
+{{L|SpongeBob|Ms. Gristlepuss! Look out!}}
-SpongeBob: You know it's too bad. The only way to sell Krabby Patties is if you opened a place that didn't look like a restuarant and did it secrectly.
+{{L|Miss Gristlepuss|What?}}
+{{L|SpongeBob|Your shoe's untied!}}
-Mr. Krabs: (Appears back on screen) THATS IT! A secret Krusty Krab, and I know just where to put it.
+{{L|Miss Gristlepuss|It is? ''[trips]'' Oh! ''[falls down to the ground. The Krabby Patty flies from Al's hand]''}}
-[[Category:Episode transcripts]]
+{{L|Al|''[slow-motion]'' Oooooohhh... ''[in slow-motion, the Krabby Patty falls into Miss Gristlepuss' mouth. She chews and swallows it as Mr. Krabs, SpongeBob, and Al stare at her. She then opens her mouth]''}}
+{{L|Miss Gristlepuss|Aaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhh ♪Aaaaaaahhhhhh!♪ ''[turns happy and bursts into song]'' ♪I like Krabby Patties! I think they're swell. Can you not tell? Krabby Patties, Krabby Patties, they're so neat! La la la la la la la la la la♪}}
+{{L|SpongeBob|''[imitates her voice]'' ♪La la la la la la la la laaaaaaaa!♪ ''[normal voice]'' Really neat. ''[chuckles]''}}
+{{L|Miss Gristlepuss|♪Sweet to eat!♪}}
+{{L|SpongeBob|♪Treat that's neat!♪}}
+{{L|Miss Gristlepuss and SpongeBob|''[utter gibberish]'' ♪Aaaaaaannndddd...♪ ''[they drop to the ground]'' ♪dismount!♪}}
+{{L|Miss Gristlepuss|That was wonderful! I... I feel... reborn!}}
+{{L|SpongeBob|Does that mean you're not sending us to the slammer?}}
+{{L|Miss Gristlepuss|Of course, my dear boy. I'm a kinder, gentler fish. And I owe it all to you.}}
+{{L|SpongeBob|Don't forget the spatula! ''[Mr. Krabs, Miss Gristlepuss, Al, and the others laugh. Al goes towards Miss Gristlepuss]''}}
+{{L|Miss Gristlepuss|Don't push it, Al.}}
+{{L|Plankton|''[lifts bun from a Krabby Patty]'' Darn it! Argh! Once again, so close and yet so far! When am I gonna- oh! ''[hides in the patty as Miss Gristlepuss picks it up]''}}
+{{L|Miss Gristlepuss|Well, I think I'll have another one. ''[bites into it, revealing Plankton in the burger's core]''}}
+{{L|Plankton|Oh dear. ''[screams as Miss Gristlepuss goes in for a second bite. A "The End" card is shown and a gulp sound can be heard]''}}