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{{CTranscript}}
{{EpisodeTranscript}}
{{BTranscript
{{L|''[The episode begins with an aerial view of Patrick's, Squidward's, and SpongeBob's houses in the morning. The camera zooms in to SpongeBob's. SpongeBob is snoring in his bedroom until the foghorn alarm goes off at 7:00.]''}}
|Title = Naughty Nautical Neighbors
{{L|SpongeBob|''[puts way his blanket]'' This is it, Gary!}}
|Season = 1
{{L|Gary|Meow. ''[SpongeBob's bed bounces up and flings SpongeBob onto the calendar, where he lands on March 3rd with the words "boating exam today!" on it then drops to the floor]''}}
|Back = Plankton!
{{L|SpongeBob|The big boating exam is today! I've never felt so capable! ''[A door opens from underneath him. He comes out of his house riding a unicycle]'' I'm ready, I'm ready, I'm ready. Squidward! Squidward!}}
|Next = Boating School
{{L|Squidward|What?}}
|Episode = 4a
{{L|SpongeBob|I'm ready, Squidward! ''[rides his unicycle around Squidward's house]''}}
|Airdate = [[August 7]], [[1999]]
{{L|Squidward|Ready to move?}}
}}
{{L|SpongeBob|No, I'm ready to pass my boating test. ''[rides his unicycle, cut to Mrs. Puff's Boating School as a foghorn sounds]'' I'm ready, I'm ready, I'm ready... ''[stops his unicycle near a dumpster and jumps off of it]'' I'm ready, I'm ready-eady-eady-eady-eady-eady-eady-eady-ready. Well, pal, I won't be needing you anymore. ''[throws the unicycle into the dumpster]'' I'm ready, I'm ready, I'm ready! Oh, yeah! I'm ready!}}
SpongeBob: (SpongeBob's foghorn alarm goes off) This is it, Gary!
{{L|Incidental 27|Whoo-hoo-hoo-hoo! Yes! Hey, I just got my license!}}
 
{{L|SpongeBob|''[snaps his fingers]'' Hey, I'm getting mine next!}}
Gary: Meow. (SpongeBob’s bed bounce up and flings SpongeBob at the calendar where he lands on March 3rd with the words 'boating exam today!' on it then drops to the floor) The big boating exam is today! I’ve never felt so capable! (door opens from underneath him. Comes out of his house riding a bike) I’m ready, I’m ready, I’m ready. Squidward! Squidward!
{{L|Incidental 27|Hey, I doubt it! ''[walks off]''}}
 
{{L|SpongeBob|Okay, see you on the road. I'm ready! Here I come, Mrs. Puff! I'm ready, I'm ready, I'm ready, I'm ready, I'm ready, I'm ready, I'm ready. ''[jumps around the boardwalk. Camera goes inside the school as Mrs. Penelope Puff, a female pufferfish, looks out the window and sees SpongeBob jumping around.]''}}
Squidward: What?
{{L|Mrs. Penelope Puff|''[sighs]'' I'm not ready. ''[opens the door]''}}
 
{{L|SpongeBob|Hi, Mrs. Puff! Today is the day I'm going to pass my boating exam!}}
SpongeBob: I’m ready, Squidward! (SpongeBob rides his unicycle around Squidward's house)
{{L|Mrs. Puff|''[with a clipboard and a pen in hand]'' We'll see about that, SpongeBob. First we must...}}
 
{{L|SpongeBob|First I must pass the oral exam. I am confident in my abilities to successfully succeed.}}
Squidward: Ready to move?
{{L|Mrs. Puff|I know. Okay, number 1: What is the front of the boat?}}
 
{{L|SpongeBob|The bow. ''[Mrs. Puff writes down his answer]''}}
SpongeBob: No, I’m ready to pass my boating test. (rides his bike towards the school) I’m ready, I’m ready, I’m ready… (stops his bike near a dumpster and jumps off of it) I’m ready-eady-eady-eady-eady-eady-eady-eady-ready. Well pal, I won’t be needing you anymore. (throws the bike into the dumpster) I’m ready, I’m ready, I’m ready! Oh, yeah! I'm ready!
{{L|Mrs. Puff|What is the back?}}
 
{{L|SpongeBob|Stern. ''[Mrs. Puff writes down his answer]''}}
Citizen: Whoo-hoo-hoo-hoo! Yes! Hey, I just got my license!
{{L|Mrs. Puff|Number 3: Right is...}}
 
{{L|SpongeBob|Starboard. ''[answers the remaining questions]'' Port. Skipper. Deck. Cabin. Galley. Keel. 1924. ''[Mrs. Puff writes down his answers]''}}
SpongeBob: (snaps fingers) Hey, I’m getting mine next!
{{L|Mrs. Puff|You've passed the oral test. ''[sarcastically]'' What a surprise. ''[gets in the boat and secures herself tightly]'' Now it's time to once again take the driving portion of the exam. Okay, SpongeBob, get in the boat.}}
 
{{L|SpongeBob|Oh, in this boat right here? ''[looks at his watch]'' Is it time already?}}
Citizen: Hey, I doubt it! (walks off)
{{L|Mrs. Puff|Get in the boat, SpongeBob.}}
 
{{L|SpongeBob|Oh yeah, absolutely. ''[gets in and closes his eyes with a smile]''}}
SpongeBob: Ok, see you on the road. I’m ready! Here I come, Mrs. Puff! I'm ready, I'm ready, I'm ready, I'm ready, I'm ready, I'm ready, I'm ready(jumps around the boardwalk)
{{L|Mrs. Puff|All you have to do is get on the track.}}
 
{{L|''[SpongeBob's eyes spring open in awe; he looks ahead to the track that gets longer and longer in delusion]''}}
Mrs. Puff: (sighs) I’m not ready. (opens the door)
{{L|Mrs. Puff|Okay, SpongeBob, what's the first thing you do?}}
 
{{L|SpongeBob|1924...?}}
SpongeBob: Hi, Mrs. Puff! Today is the day I’m going to pass my boating exam!
{{L|Mrs. Puff|No, no. First thing is to start the boat. ''[turns the engine on and SpongeBob goes crazy]'' SpongeBob? SpongeBob? Relax, it's only the boat.}}
 
{{L|SpongeBob|The boat?}}
Mrs. Puff: (with clipboard and pen in hand) We’ll see about that, SpongeBob. First we must...
{{L|Mrs. Puff|Okay, now what do you do next?}}
 
{{L|SpongeBob|Floor it?}}
SpongeBob: First I must pass the oral exam. I am confident in my abilities to successfully succeed.
{{L|Mrs. Puff|Yes... no! No, don't floor it.}}
 
{{L|SpongeBob|Floor it?!}}
Mrs. Puff: I know. Ok, #1: What is the front of the boat?
{{L|Mrs. Puff|No, no, don't, don't floor it!}}
 
{{L|SpongeBob|Okay, floor it! ''[SpongeBob slams on the accelerator and starts driving backwards really fast]''}}
SpongeBob: The bow. (Mrs. Puff writes down his answer)
{{L|Mrs. Puff|No! No, no, no, nooooo! ''[the boat whizzes by some spectators before crashing into a lighthouse. After crashing, Mrs. Puff inflates to three times her size. The lighthouse falls, and Mrs. Puff speaks with a deep voice]'' Oh, SpongeBob, why?}}
 
{{L|Fred|My leg...!}}
Mrs. Puff: What is the back?
{{L|''[The scene fades to SpongeBob's home at nighttime.]''}}
 
{{L|SpongeBob|''[in his bed]'' I don't know why, Gary. I don't know. I'm tired of failing that boating test. I've already taken it 37 times.}}
SpongeBob: Stern. (Mrs. Puff writes down his answer)
{{L|Gary|Meow.}}
 
{{L|SpongeBob|Okay, 38. ''[puts his pillow on his head]''}}
Mrs. Puff: #3: Right is…
{{L|Gary|''[puts on SpongeBob's boots]'' Meow.}}
 
{{L|SpongeBob|No, Gary, I'm not walking.}}
SpongeBob: Starboard. Port. Skipper. Deck. Cabin. Galley. Keel. 1924. (Mrs. Puff writes down his answers)
{{L|Patrick|''[over walkie-talkie in SpongeBob's bed]'' SpongeBob, this is Star Ranger, over.}}
 
{{L|SpongeBob|''[through walkie-talkie]'' What is it, Patrick?}}
Mrs. Puff: You’ve past the oral test. What a surprise! (gets in the boat and secures herself tightly) Now it’s time to once again take the driving portion of the exam. Ok, SpongeBob, get in the boat.
{{L|Patrick|''[through walkie-talkie]'' I got a surprise for you.}}
 
{{L|SpongeBob|''[through walkie-talkie]'' Oh, Patrick, I'm not in the mood.}}
SpongeBob: Oh, in this boat right here? (looks at his watch) Is it time already?
{{L|Patrick|''[through walkie-talkie]'' Get out of bed. ''[SpongeBob gets out of bed]''}}
 
{{L|SpongeBob|''[through walkie-talkie]'' Okay, now what, Patrick?}}
Mrs. Puff: Get in the boat, SpongeBob.
{{L|Patrick|''[through walkie-talkie]'' Go to your closet for a surprise. ''[SpongeBob slides down a room and stands up in front of his closet door]''}}
 
{{L|SpongeBob|''[through walkie-talkie]'' Okay, I'm at the closet.}}
SpongeBob: Oh yeah, absolutely. (gets in)
{{L|Patrick|''[through walkie-talkie]'' Listen carefully. What's pink and square at the same time?}}
 
{{L|SpongeBob|''[through walkie-talkie]'' I don't know, Patrick. ''[opens the closet door, revealing Patrick wearing SpongeBob's clothes]''}}
Mrs. Puff: All you have to do is get on the track. (looks ahead to the track that gets longer and longer) Ok, SpongeBob, what’s the first thing you do?
{{L|Patrick|Patrick SquarePants!}}
 
{{L|SpongeBob|''[deadpan]'' Pat, don't do that. ''[sits in a chair]'' I've got too much to worry about.}}
SpongeBob: 1924?
{{L|Patrick|What's the problem?}}
 
{{L|SpongeBob|I can't pass my boating exam. I've taken it 37...}}
Mrs. Puff: No, no. First thing is to start the boat. (Mrs. Puff turns the engine on and SpongeBob goes crazy) SpongeBob? SpongeBob? Relax, it’s only the boat.
{{L|Gary|''[off-screen]'' Meow.}}
 
{{L|SpongeBob|...uhh, 38 times. I know all the answers... ''[Patrick's square pants rip off]'' ...until I get behind the wheel. I just need something to help me think straight.}}
SpongeBob: The boat?
{{L|Patrick|Thinking straight is what I do. You drive and I'll do all the thinking for you. ''[takes SpongeBob's walkie-talkie]''}}
 
{{L|SpongeBob|How are we going to do that? ''[Patrick puts a walkie-talkie into SpongeBob's head with the antenna coming out of the top]''}}
Mrs. Puff: Ok, now what do you do next?
{{L|Patrick|Come in, SpongeBob. Hello? Hello?}}
 
{{L|SpongeBob|Hey! I can hear you in my head! This is great! While I'm taking the test, you can give me all the answers. ''[notices the antenna sticking out]'' Wait a minute, Patrick. Won't I look silly with this antenna coming out of my head?}}
SpongeBob: Floor it?
{{L|''[Patrick puts a tall hat over the antenna. The scene, with bubble transition sound effect, changes to a big telescope peeking out SpongeBob's upstairs window.]''}}
 
{{L|Patrick|''[through walkie-talkie]'' Pat to Sponge, Pat to Sponge, testing, testing. ''[looking through the telescope at SpongeBob]'' Testing, testing, testing, testing, testing, testing! ''[loudly]'' Testing! ''[screams]'' Test, test! Do you read?!}}
Mrs. Puff: Yes...no, no! Don’t floor it.
{{L|SpongeBob|Sponge to Pat, I read you loud and clear, over.}}
 
{{L|Patrick|''[through walkie-talkie]'' Got your apple ready? ''[SpongeBob shows an apple]'' Lucky undergarments? Hold on. Hold on. ''[focuses in on the underwear with the telescope to reveal the word lucky on the top of it]'' Bingo! Underwear, apple, and me. You're ready to get that license. Uh-oh, here comes Mrs. Puff! Act natural. ''[SpongeBob jumps out of the boat, then gets on the ground on all fours and starts chewing grass.]''}}
SpongeBob: Floor it?
{{L|SpongeBob|''[Moos like a cow]''}}
 
{{L|Patrick|''[through walkie-talkie]'' No, no, get in the boat! ''[SpongeBob jumps in the boat. An ambulance arrives with its siren on and drops off Mrs. Puff]'' Give her the apple. ''[SpongeBob gives her the apple]''}}
Mrs. Puff: No, no, don’t, don’t floor it.
{{L|SpongeBob|Here you go, ma'am. ''[Mrs. Puff throws apple in her mouth and swallows]''}}
 
{{L|Mrs. Puff|Let's get this over with. ''[takes a deep breath]'' What's the first thing you do? ''[puts hands and arms over head for protection]''}}
SpongeBob: Ok, floor it.
{{L|SpongeBob|''[starts to get scared]'' Uhh...}}
 
{{L|Patrick|''[through walkie-talkie]'' Start the boat. ''[SpongeBob starts the boat. The engine starting up causes Mrs. Puff to go crazy]''}}
Mrs. Puff: No! No! (SpongeBob pushes the accelerator down and starts driving backwards really fast by some spectators and drives into a building. After crashing, Mrs Puff becomes big & round)
{{L|SpongeBob|Mrs. Puff. Mrs. Puff!}}
 
{{L|Mrs. Puff|Whoa-ho! Huh? What?}}
Mrs. Puff: (deep voice) Oh, SpongeBob, why?
{{L|SpongeBob|It's okay, it's only the boat.}}
 
{{L|Mrs. Puff|The boat? You started the boat?}}
Fred: My leg!
{{L|SpongeBob|I... I think so.}}
 
{{L|Mrs. Puff|Oh. Well... what's the second thing you do?}}
SpongeBob: (in his bed) I don’t know why, Gary. I don’t know. I’m tired of failing that boating test. I’ve already taken it thirty-seven times.
{{L|SpongeBob|1924?}}
 
{{L|Patrick|''[through walkie-talkie]'' No, no, put it in drive.}}
Gary: Meow.
{{L|SpongeBob|Put it in drive?}}
 
{{L|Mrs. Puff|Yes, yes, yes! ''[SpongeBob pushes lever down to drive]'' Put it in drive. Then what?}}
SpongeBob: Ok, thirty-eight. (puts his pillow on his head)
{{L|SpongeBob|''[lifts leg up]'' Floor it?}}
 
{{L|Mrs. Puff|No! ''[screams]'' No!}}
Gary:(puts on Spongebob's boots on.) Meow.
{{L|Patrick|''[through walkie-talkie]'' Freeze, mister! ''[SpongeBob stops]'' Big toe. ''[SpongeBob's big toe pops out of his shoe and gently pushes the accelerator down]''}}
 
{{L|Mrs. Puff|Oh, gracious. Oh, gracious! Oh-oh. Ha-ha! Ah, we haven't crashed yet.}}
SpongeBob: No, Gary, I’m not walking.
{{L|Patrick|''[through walkie-talkie]'' Okay, you're coming to your first turn. ''[a giant wall with the word wall on it is shown and a left curve]''}}
 
{{L|Mrs. Puff|Oh no, the first turn. Please, tell me you know what to do at the first turn!}}
Patrick: (over walkie-talkie in SpongeBob’s bed) SpongeBob, this is star ranger, over.
{{L|Patrick|''[through walkie-talkie]'' Left. ''[SpongeBob turns left]''}}
 
{{L|Mrs. Puff|Oh!}}
SpongeBob: (through walkie-talkie) What is it, Patrick?
{{L|Patrick|''[through walkie-talkie]'' Right. ''[SpongeBob turns right]''}}
 
{{L|Mrs. Puff|Oh! My, this is splendid, SpongeBob. You're doing fine.}}
Patrick: (through walkie-talkie) I got a surprise for you.
{{L|Montage|''[SpongeBob stops at a stop sign and looks both ways before starting to drive again. Then drives around with his left arm out making a signal. Patrick still talking to SpongeBob through the walkie-talkie as SpongeBob drives over a big hill in the road. As Mrs. Puff writes a couple things on her clipboard, Patrick is putting on another pair of SquarePants. SpongeBob pulls back on the boat and the boat jumps in the air over a big anchor. Patrick finds SpongeBob's diary and begins to read and laugh at it as SpongeBob jumps off a ramp through a ring of fire. Fred is walking across the course but SpongeBob stops the boat and helps him walk across. He gets back in the boat as Patrick is eating a sandwich out of SpongeBob's fridge. SpongeBob is sitting back and driving with his feet and driving upside down.]''}}
 
{{L|Mrs. Puff|Splendid! Wonderful! ''[sign that reads finish line is just ahead]'' There's the finish line. It's unbelievable. You've shown the most spectacular improvement of any student I've ever seen. What's your secret? A little radio in your head?}}
SpongeBob: (through walkie-talkie) Oh, Patrick, I’m not in the mood.
{{L|''[She and SpongeBob laugh; cut to Patrick who is laughing too]''}}
 
{{L|Mrs. Puff|Oh, and under that hat is some kind of, uhh, antenna?}}
Patrick: (through walkie-talkie) Get out of bed. (SpongeBob gets out of bed)
{{L|''[She, SpongeBob, and Patrick laugh again as before]''}}
 
{{L|Mrs. Puff|And some guy miles away from here is giving you all the answers?}}
SpongeBob: (through walkie-talkie) Ok, now what, Patrick?
{{L|''[Everyone laughs a third time, same as before]''}}
 
{{L|Mrs. Puff|Oh, yes... but that would be cheating!}}
Patrick: (through walkie-talkie) Go to your closet for a surprise. (SpongeBob slides down a room and stands up in front of his closet door)
{{L|''[SpongeBob opens his eyes wide realizing he is cheating; only Patrick laughs]''}}
 
{{L|Patrick|Cheating! ''[laughing hysterically]''}}
SpongeBob: (through walkie-talkie) Ok, I’m at the closet.
{{L|''[Camera zooms in on SpongeBob in steps three times to a loud sting]''}}
 
{{L|SpongeBob|I'm cheating?! Mrs. Puff!}}
Patrick: (through walkie-talkie) Listen carefully. What’s pink and square at the same time?
{{L|Mrs. Puff|Yes, my star pupil?}}
 
{{L|SpongeBob|I think I'm cheating.}}
SpongeBob: (through walkie-talkie) I don’t know, Patrick. (SpongeBob opens the closet door and Patrick has one of SpongeBob’s square pants on)
{{L|Mrs. Puff|What's that, dear? ''[SpongeBob takes a hold of Mrs. Puff]''}}
 
{{L|SpongeBob|I think I am cheating!}}
Patrick: Patrick SquarePants!
{{L|Mrs. Puff|You've... you've let go of the wheel.}}
 
{{L|SpongeBob|I ''do'' have an antenna under my hat! ''[shows the antenna under his hat]'' There is a guy giving me all the answers! It's all true! ''[crying]'' I'm cheating! I'm cheating! I'm cheating!}}
SpongeBob: Pat, don’t do that. (sits in a chair) I’ve got too much to worry about.
{{L|Patrick|What?! ''[runs out of SpongeBob's house and back under his rock, crying]''}}
 
{{L|SpongeBob|I'm sorry, Mrs. Puff! I'm sorry!}}
Patrick: What’s the problem?
{{L|Mrs. Puff|''[panicking]'' The wheel, SpongeBob! The wheel...}}
 
{{L|SpongeBob|Cheating... I'm a cheater! Cheater!}}
SpongeBob: I can’t pass my boating exam. I’ve taken it thirty-seven...
{{L|Mrs. Puff|No, no, no! It's quite alright! You can cheat that way!}}
 
{{L|SpongeBob|No, I'm cheating!}}
Gary: Meow.
{{L|Mrs. Puff|That way, SpongeBob!}}
 
{{L|SpongeBob|I'm cheating!}}
SpongeBob: ...uhh, thirty-eight times. I know all the answers... (Patrick's square pants rip off) ...until I get behind the wheel. I just need something to help me think straight.
{{L|Mrs. Puff|Cheat that way! That way!}}
 
{{L|SpongeBob|I'm a cheater, cheater, pumpkin eater!}}
Patrick: Thinking straight is what I do. You drive and I’ll do all the thinking for you. (takes SpongeBob’s walkie-talkie)
{{L|Mrs. Puff|It's okay to cheat today!}}
 
{{L|SpongeBob|No!}}
SpongeBob: How are we going to do that? (Patrick puts a walkie-talkie into SpongeBob’s head with the antenna coming out of the top)
{{L|Mrs. Puff|That way! That way! Cheat that way!}}
 
{{L|SpongeBob|Cheater...! ''[crashes offscreen head-on into the same lighthouse. Mrs. Puff inflates with a look of despair. The lighthouse falls yet again]''}}
Patrick: Come in, SpongeBob. Hello? Hello?
{{L|Mrs. Puff|''[deep voice]'' Oh, SpongeBob, why?}}
 
{{L|SpongeBob|Mrs. Puff, I think I cheated.}}
SpongeBob: Hey! I can hear you in my head! This is great! While I’m taking the test, you can give me all the answers. (SpongeBob notices the antenna sticking out) Wait a minute, Patrick. Won’t I look silly with this antenna coming out of my head? (Patrick puts a tall hat over the antenna. Next, we see a big telescope peeking out SpongeBob’s upstairs window)
{{L|Fred|My leg!}}
 
{{L|''[The scene fades to black, then changes to some time later, as EMTs are wheeling a still-inflated Mrs. Puff away on a gurney.]''}}
Patrick: (through walkie-talkie) Pat to Sponge, Pat to Sponge, testing, testing. (looking through the telescope at SpongeBob) Testing, testing, testing, testing, testing, testing! Testing!! (yells) Testing! Ah! Test. Do you read?!
{{L|SpongeBob|Uhh, I'm sorry for letting you down again, Mrs. Puff.}}
 
{{L|Mrs. Puff|''[normal voice]'' It's okay, SpongeBob. You didn't mean it. Okay, boys, take me away. ''[EMTs shove Mrs. Puff into the ambulance]''}}
SpongeBob: Sponge to Pat, I read you loud and clear, over. Patrick: (through walkie-talkie) Got your apple ready? (SpongeBob shows an apple) Lucky undergarments? Hold on. Hold on. (Patrick focuses in on the underwear with the telescope to reveal the word 'lucky' on the top of it) Bingo! Underwear, apple, and me. You’re ready to get that license. Uh-oh, here comes Mrs. Puff! Act natural. (SpongeBob jumps out of the boat and on the ground and starts chewing grass)
{{L|SpongeBob|Don't worry, Mrs. Puff. I'll try harder next semester. ''[Mrs. Puff cries as she is taken away by the ambulance]'' It'll be great! ''[walks away]'' Only now I don't even have my bike.}}
 
{{L|Gary|''[with SpongeBob's unicycle]'' Meow.}}
SpongeBob: Moo.
{{L|SpongeBob|Gary! My bike! You found it! This sponge is still mobile! ''[rides away on his bike with Gary on his head]'' Alright, let's go surprise someone at the hospital! ''[The episode fades to black.]''}}
 
[[pl:Szkoła jazdy (transkrypt)]]
Patrick: (through walkie-talkie) No, no, get in the boat! (SpongeBob jumps in the boat. A siren is heard as Mrs. Puff comes out an ambulance and into the boat) Give her the apple. (SpongeBob gives her the apple)
[[pt-br:Escola de Pilotagem (transcrição)]]
 
[[ru:Школа управления катерами/Стенограмма]]
SpongeBob: Here you go, ma’am. (Mrs. Puff throws apple in her mouth and swallows)
 
Mrs. Puff: Let’s get this over with. (takes a deep breath) What’s the first thing you do? (puts hands and arms over head for protection)
 
SpongeBob: Uhh...
 
Patrick: (through walkie-talkie) Start the boat. (SpongeBob pushes a button that starts the boat causing Mrs. Puff to go crazy)
 
SpongeBob: Mrs. Puff. Mrs. Puff!
 
Mrs. Puff: Whoa-ho! Huh? What?
 
SpongeBob: It’s ok, it’s only the boat.
 
Mrs. Puff: The boat? You started the boat?
 
SpongeBob: I...I think so.
 
Mrs. Puff: Oh. Well...what’s the second thing you do?
 
SpongeBob: 1924?
 
Patrick: (through walkie-talkie) No, no, put it in drive.
 
SpongeBob: Put it in drive?
 
Mrs. Puff: Yes, yes, yes! (SpongeBob pushes lever down to drive) Put it in drive. Then what?
 
SpongeBob: (lifts leg up) Floor it?
 
Mrs. Puff: No! Ahh! No-o-o.
 
Patrick: (through walkie-talkie) Freeze, mister! (SpongeBob stops) Big toe. (SpongeBob’s big toe pops out of his shoe and gently pushes the accelerator down)
 
Mrs. Puff: Oh gracious. Oh gracious! Oh-oh. Ha-ha! Ah, we haven’t crashed yet.
 
Patrick: (through walkie-talkie) Ok, you’re coming to your first turn. (giant wall with the word 'wall' on it is shown and a left curve)
 
Mrs. Puff: Oh no, the first turn. Please, tell me you know what to do at the first turn.
 
Patrick: (through walkie-talkie) Left. (SpongeBob turns left)
 
Mrs. Puff: Oh!
 
Patrick: (through walkie-talkie) Right. (SpongeBob turns right)
 
Mrs. Puff: Oh! Oh my, this is splendid, SpongeBob. You’re doing fine. (SpongeBob stops at a stop sign and looks both ways before starting to drive again. Then drives around with his left arm out making a signal. Patrick still talking to SpongeBob through the walkie-talkie as SpongeBob drives over a big hill in the road. As Mrs. Puff writes a couple things on her clipboard, Patrick is putting on another pair of square pants. SpongeBob pulls back on the boat and the boat jumps in the air over a big anchor. Patrick finds SpongeBob’s diary and begins to read and laugh at it as SpongeBob jumps off a ramp through a ring of fire. Fred is walking across the course but SpongeBob stops the boat and helps him walk across. He gets back in the boat as Patrick is eating out of SpongeBob’s fridge. SpongeBob is sitting back and driving with his feet and driving upside down) Splendid! Wonderful! (sign that reads 'finish line' is just ahead) There’s the finish line. It’s unbelievable. You’ve shown the most spectacular improvement of any student I’ve ever seen. What’s your secret? A little radio in your head? (everyone laughs) Oh, and under that hat is some kind of, uhh, antenna? (everyone laughs) And some guy miles away from here is giving you all the answers? (everyone laughs) Oh, yes, but that would be cheating. (SpongeBob opens his eyes wide realizing he is cheating)
 
Patrick: Haha! Cheating! Haha! Haha!
 
SpongeBob: I’m cheating. Mrs Puff!
 
Mrs. Puff: Yes, my star pupil?
 
SpongeBob: I think I’m cheating.
 
Mrs. Puff: What’s that, dear? (SpongeBob takes a hold of Mrs. Puff)
 
SpongeBob: I think I am cheating!
 
Mrs. Puff: You've...you’ve let go of the wheel.
 
SpongeBob: I do have an antenna under my hat. (shows antennae under hat) There is a guy giving me all the answers. It’s all true! (crying) I’m cheating! I’m cheating! I’m cheating!
 
Patrick: What? (Patrick runs out of SpongeBob’s house and back under his rock)
 
SpongeBob: I'm sorry, Mrs. Puff! I'm sorry!
 
Mrs. Puff: The wheel, SpongeBob. The wheel...
 
SpongeBob: Cheating...I'm a cheater. Cheater...
 
Mrs. Puff: No, no, no. It's quite alright, you can cheat.
 
SpongeBob: No...I'm cheating!
 
Mrs. Puff: At least, SpongeBob...
 
SpongeBob: Cheating.
 
Mrs. Puff: Cheat that way!
 
SpongeBob: I'm a cheater, cheater, pumpkin eater.
 
Mrs. Puff: It's ok to cheat today!
 
SpongeBob: No...
 
Mrs. Puff: That way! Cheat that way!
 
SpongeBob: Cheater.
 
Mrs. Puff: (manly voice) Oh, SpongeBob, why?
 
SpongeBob: Mrs. Puff, I think I cheated.
 
Fred: My leg!
 
SpongeBob: Uhh, I’m sorry for letting you down again, Mrs. Puff.
 
Mrs. Puff: It’s ok, SpongeBob, you didn’t mean it. Ok, boys, take me away. (EMTs shove Mrs. Puff into the ambulance)
 
SpongeBob: Don’t worry, Mrs. Puff. I’ll try harder next semester. (Mrs. Puff screams as she is taken away by the ambulance) It’ll be great! (walks away) Only now I don’t even have my bike.
 
Gary: (with SpongeBob’s bike) Meow.
 
SpongeBob: Gary! My bike! You found it! This sponge is still mobile! (rides away on his bike) Alright, let’s go surprise someone at the hospital!
[[Category:Episode transcripts]]

Latest revision as of 22:38, 1 May 2025

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