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{{Template:BTranscript
{{EpisodeTranscript}}
|Title = Driven to Tears
{{L|French Narrator|It is a very special day in Bikini Bottom.}}
|Season = 4
{{L|''[Screen moves from Bikini Bottom Island to Boating School]''}}
|Episode = 77a
{{L|SpongeBob|I'm ready! ''[walking up to Mrs. Puff's Boating School with Patrick]'' I'm ready! I'm ready! Patrick, did you bring my flashcards?}}
|Airdate = [[February 19]], [[2007]]
{{L|Patrick|Right here, buddy. ''[takes them out of his pocket]'' Everything you need to pass the test is on these cards. ''[eats the cards]'' Mmm.}}
}}Narrator: A very special day in Bikini Bottom!!
{{L|SpongeBob|No, Patrick!}}
 
{{L|Patrick|Hey, learning tastes good.}}
SpongeBob: I'm ready! (walking up to Mrs. Puff's Boating School with Patrick) I'm ready! I'm ready! Patrick, did you bring my flashcards?
{{L|SpongeBob|Patrick, I needed those.}}
 
{{L|Patrick|Oh, fiddlesticks. You've taken that driving test more times than anyone.}}
Patrick: Right here, buddy. (takes them out of his pocket) Everything you need to pass the test is on these cards. (eats the cards) Mmm.
{{L|SpongeBob|57 times.}}
 
{{L|Patrick|Well then, 58 is your lucky number. You're gonna pass that driving test, SpongeBob, because you're a winner.}}
SpongeBob: No, Patrick!
{{L|SpongeBob|I'm a winner?}}
 
{{L|Patrick|Who's a winner?}}
Patrick: Hey, learning tastes good.
{{L|SpongeBob|''[sadly]'' I'm a winner.}}
 
{{L|Patrick|Who's a winner?}}
SpongeBob: Patrick, I needed those.
{{L|SpongeBob|''[cheered up a little]'' I'm a winner.}}
 
{{L|Patrick|Who's a winner?!}}
Patrick: Oh, fiddlesticks. You've taken that driving test more times than anyone.
{{L|SpongeBob|I'm a winner! I'm a winner! I'm a winner! ''[runs into the classroom]''}}
 
{{L|French Narrator|One minute, thirty seven seconds later... ''[SpongeBob walks up crying]''}}
SpongeBob: 57 times.
{{L|Patrick|How'd you do, winner? ''[SpongeBob's crying continues]'' Let's see that license.}}
 
{{L|SpongeBob|I didn't get a license, Patrick.}}
Patrick: Well, then 58 is your lucky number. You're gonna pass that driving test, SpongeBob, because you're a winner.
{{L|Patrick|Are they gonna mail it to ya?}}
 
{{L|SpongeBob|No, Patrick, I failed the boating test. I guess 58 wasn't my lucky number after all.}}
SpongeBob: I'm a winner?
{{L|Patrick|No way! 58 is, like, the luckiest number ever! The test must be rigged.}}
 
{{L|SpongeBob|Let's just go home, Patrick.}}
Patrick: Who's a winner?
{{L|Patrick|We're not goin' anywhere, until I get to the bottom of this! I'm takin' that test myself!}}
 
{{L|SpongeBob|''[hanging onto Patrick's pants]'' No, Patrick! I've been training for years. They'll eat you alive. ''[Patrick's pants rip off]''}}
SpongeBob: (sadly) I'm a winner.
{{L|Patrick|Please, SpongeBob. I think I know what I'm doin'.}}
 
{{L|SpongeBob|No, Patrick! Noooooooo!}}
Patrick: Who's a winner?
{{L|Mrs. Puff|''[Patrick walks up to the boat she is sitting in and gets in it, in his underwear]'' Good morning.}}
 
{{L|Patrick|You're not the judge of me!}}
SpongeBob: (cheered up a little) I'm a winner.
{{L|Mrs. Puff|Actually, I am. Let the testing begin! ''[clicks her pen. Scene cuts to SpongeBob, outside the boating school]''}}
 
{{L|SpongeBob|I shouldn't have let him do it. What kind of friend am I?}}
Patrick: Who's a winner?!
{{L|Patrick|SpongeBob! SpongeBob!}}
 
{{L|SpongeBob|I'm here for ya, buddy.}}
SpongeBob: I'm a winner! I'm a winner! I'm a winner! (runs into the classroom)
{{L|Patrick|I passed my test!}}
 
{{L|SpongeBob|You... got a perfect score?}}
Narrator: One minute thirty seven seconds later... (SpongeBob walks up crying)
{{L|Patrick|Yeah. I thought you said it was hard.}}
 
{{L|SpongeBob|Perfect... score. ''[eye twitches]''}}
Patrick: How'd you do, winner? (crying continues) Let's see that license.
{{L|Patrick|Come on! I'm gonna get my picture taken for my new license. ''[scene cuts to the license registration building]''}}
 
{{L|Miss Shell|Stand behind the line, sir.}}
SpongeBob: I didn't get a license, Patrick.
{{L|Patrick|''[smiling]'' How do I look?}}
 
{{L|SpongeBob|''[sarcastically]'' Like a winner.}}
Patrick: Are they gonna mail it to you?
{{L|Miss Shell|Ready?}}
 
{{L|Patrick|Ready. ''[banner comes down which says "CONGRATULATIONS" on it. Balloons and confetti fall]''}}
SpongeBob: No, Patrick, I failed the boating test. I guess 58 wasn't my lucky number after all.
{{L|SpongeBob|Huh?}}
 
{{L|Fish|Congratulations, Mr. Star. You're the one millionth person to pass the test.}}
Patrick: No way! 58 is like the luckiest number ever! The test must be rigged.
{{L|Patrick|Does that mean I get a free key chain?}}
 
{{L|Fish|Uhh, no.}}
SpongeBob: Let's just go home, Patrick.
{{L|Patrick|Oh.}}
 
{{L|Fish|You get a brand-new boat mobile! The new Bass Blaster 3000. The ultimate boating machine. ''[Patrick runs up to the new boatmobile as SpongeBob's jaw drops]''}}
Patrick: We're not going anywhere until I get to the bottom of this. I'm taking that test, myself.
{{L|Patrick|Yeah! All right!}}
 
{{L|Fish|Women will want you. ''[all sigh]'' Men will want to ''be'' you. ''[all faint]'' You'll be the envy of your friends. ''[SpongeBob growling in fury]''}}
SpongeBob: (hanging onto Patrick's pants) No, Patrick! I've been training for years. They'll eat you alive. (Patrick's pants rip off)
{{L|Patrick|Isn't this great? I got my license, and a new boat.}}
 
{{L|SpongeBob|I'm... so... happy for you... ''["La Cucaracha" horn blows in his face]'' Whoa!}}
Patrick: Please, SpongeBob. I think I know what I'm doing.
{{L|Patrick|The horn works. ''[scene cuts to Patrick driving his new boat down the road]'' Woo! This is the greatest day ever. Right, SpongeBob?}}
 
{{L|SpongeBob|Right, Patrick. I can't think of one thing that would make this day better. Except maybe getting my license.}}
SpongeBob: No, Patrick. No!
{{L|Patrick|Maybe if you apply yourself, you could be the two millionth person to get his license.}}
 
{{L|SpongeBob|Two millionth?}}
Mrs. Puff: (Patrick walks up to the boat she is sitting in and gets in it, in his underwear) Good morning.
{{L|Patrick|Then you can get a free boat just like me.}}
 
{{L|SpongeBob|Yeah, just like you.}}
Patrick: You're not the judge of me.
{{L|Patrick|I try to serve as an inspiration to others.}}
 
{{L|SpongeBob|Can we go home now? ''[zoom out and scene shows Patrick driving around his rock over and over]'' We've been drivin' around your house for hours.}}
Mrs. Puff: Actually, I am. Let the testing begin! (clicks pen. Scene cuts to SpongeBob, outside the boating school)
{{L|Patrick|I know. It's a lot faster than walking, isn't it?}}
 
{{L|SpongeBob|Thanks for the ride, Patrick.}}
SpongeBob: I shouldn't have let him do it. What kind of friend am I?
{{L|Patrick|No problem, buddy. You can't help being a... pedestrian. ''[shudders then drives off. SpongeBob imitates Patrick. Scene cuts to SpongeBob in bed asleep. His clock turns to 3:00am when an engine revving is heard which sends SpongeBob into his diving board then back into his bed]''}}
 
{{L|SpongeBob|Patrick, what are you doin'?!}}
Patrick: SpongeBob! SpongeBob!
{{L|Patrick|I'm trying to work on my boat mobile. Now could you keep it down? It's 3:00 in the morning, people are tryin' to sleep. ''[SpongeBob groans and slams his window shut, breaking it, before going back to bed. Scene cuts to 4:00am]''}}
 
{{L|SpongeBob|4:00? ''[yawns. Doorbell rings]'' Who could be at the door at this hou— ''[falls down the stairs. Opens the door]'' Now what is it, Patrick?}}
SpongeBob: I'm here for you, buddy.
{{L|Patrick|You will never guess what happened to me today.}}
 
{{L|SpongeBob|You got your license.}}
Patrick: I passed my test!
{{L|Patrick|Yeah! ''[shows his license]'' But that's not all.}}
 
{{L|SpongeBob|You got a new boat.}}
SpongeBob: You got a perfect score?
{{L|Patrick|Yeah. Have you been followin' me? You know, you need to get your own life. ''[walks off]''}}
 
{{L|SpongeBob|''[gets back into bed]'' Oh... I just need a few minutes sleep. ''[foghorn alarm blows]''}}
Patrick: Yeah, I thought you said it was hard.
{{L|Gary|Meow?}}
 
{{L|SpongeBob|Yes, Gary, I saw his new boat. ''[scene cuts to morning where SpongeBob is leaving home to go to work]'' I'm so tired. ''[horn honks]''}}
SpongeBob: Perfect score. (eye twitches)
{{L|Patrick|Hey, buddy. Need a ride to work?}}
 
{{L|SpongeBob|Thanks, Patrick, but I'd rather walk to work. ''[tries to take a step, but falls down in the process. Scene cuts to Patrick driving SpongeBob to the Krusty Krab]''}}
Patrick: Come on, I'm gonna get my picture taken for my new license. (scene cuts to the license registration building)
{{L|Patrick|Boy, I never realized how empty life is without a license.}}
 
{{L|SpongeBob|Thanks for the ride.}}
Lady: Stand behind the line, sir.
{{L|Patrick|No problem, buddy. You can give me rides once you get your license. I mean, ''if'' you get your license. ''[SpongeBob is getting extremely enraged]''}}
 
{{L|SpongeBob|That's it. I am through driving around with Patrick. If I have to see one more boat mobile...}}
Patrick: (smiling) How do I look?
{{L|Mr. Krabs|SpongeBob, you're mannin' the drive-thru.}}
 
{{L|SpongeBob|When did we get a drive-thru?}}
SpongeBob: (sarcastically) Like a winner.
{{L|Mr. Krabs|I realized there's a lot of young people on the go these days. They don't have time to sit down and eat. They're too busy out on the open road, livin' their dreams.}}
 
{{L|SpongeBob|I used to have a dream.}}
Lady: Ready?
{{L|Mr. Krabs|Yeah? I used to have a kidney stone. Everything passes eventually. Now stop dreamin' and work for a livin'.}}
 
{{L|SpongeBob|''[through headphones]'' Welcome to the Krusty Krab, may I ta— ''["La Cucaracha" horn honks]'' Ow!}}
Patrick: Ready. (banner comes down which says "CONGRATULATIONS" on it. Balloons and confetti fall)
{{L|Patrick|The horn still works. ''[scene cuts to SpongeBob switching the OPEN sign to CLOSED then walking out of work. Patrick drives up in a racing uniform]'' Hey, SpongeBob.}}
 
{{L|SpongeBob|What's with the helmet, Patrick?}}
SpongeBob: Huh?
{{L|Patrick|Well, since I'm now an expert driver, I have to keep up my image. ''[clicks tongue]''}}
 
{{L|SpongeBob|Uh-huh. ''[scene cuts to Patrick driving]''}}
Fish: Congratulations, Mr. Star. You're the one millionth person to pass the test.
{{L|Patrick|Boy, driving is so easy.}}
 
{{L|SpongeBob|Oh?}}
Patrick: Does that mean I get a free key chain?
{{L|Patrick|Do you want me to give you lessons?}}
 
{{L|SpongeBob|''[sarcastic]'' Oh, that would be great.}}
Fish: Uhh, no.
{{L|Patrick|Oh! ''[drives over to SpongeBob's parents]''}}
 
{{L|SpongeBob|Patrick!}}
Patrick: Oh.
{{L|Patrick|Hi, mommy. Hi, daddy.}}
 
{{L|Mr. SquarePants|Patrick, how many times do we have to tell you? We're SpongeBob's mom and dad, not yours.}}
Fish: You get a brand-new boat mobile. The new Bass Blaster 3000. The ultimate boating machine.
{{L|Patrick|What? I'm an orphan?! Oh, but guess what? I passed my driver's test.}}
 
{{L|Mrs. SquarePants|That's great, Patrick.}}
Patrick: Yeah! All right!
{{L|Patrick|SpongeBob failed his test, so don't mention it.}}
 
{{L|Mrs. SquarePants|Oh, we know how to stay clear of that minefield.}}
Fish: Women will want you. (all sigh) Men will want to be you. (all sigh) You'll be the envy of your friends. (SpongeBob groans)
{{L|SpongeBob|Mom!}}
 
{{L|Patrick|Well, I've gotta take Mr. Walks-a-lot back home. He's always askin' for rides.}}
Patrick: Isn't this great? I got my license and a new boat.
{{L|SpongeBob|Hey! ''[Patrick drives off]''}}
 
{{L|Mr. SquarePants|Even Patrick has a license. ''[both parents sigh]''}}
SpongeBob: I'm so happy for you... ("La Cucaracha" horn blows in his face) Whoa!
{{L|Patrick|Let's see what this baby can do. ''[steps on the gas. Ride pass a sign that reads 'SPEED LIMIT 40 MPH']''}}
 
{{L|SpongeBob|Patrick, the speed limit is 40mph.}}
Patrick: The horn works. (scene cuts to Patrick driving his new boat down the road) Whoo! This is the greatest day ever. Right, SpongeBob?
{{L|Patrick|Yeah, yeah.}}
 
{{L|SpongeBob|''[reads the speedometer]'' 40.5mph? That's almost 41mph. He's speeding. Patrick! Stop this car. ''[car stops next to a policeman]''}}
SpongeBob: Right, Patrick. I can't think of one thing that would make this day better. Except maybe getting my license.
{{L|Patrick|What? Where? Who?}}
 
{{L|SpongeBob|Officer, it is my civic duty to report that the driver of this vehicle is speeding. Why don't you clock him with your radar gun?}}
Patrick: Maybe if you apply yourself you could be the two millionth person to get his license.
{{L|Officer|Umm... okay. ''[uses radar gun. It reads 0mph]'' Actually, he's going 40 miles under the limit. So move along before I run ''you'' in, tattletale. ''[drives off]''}}
 
{{L|SpongeBob|Are you sure you don't wanna run him in? ''[scene cuts to Patrick driving. Green light turns red]'' That's a red light, Patrick! ''[Patrick runs through three red lights]'' Patrick, you just ran three red lights!}}
SpongeBob: Two millionth?
{{L|Patrick|So?}}
 
{{L|SpongeBob|You're supposed to stop!}}
Patrick: Then you can get a free boat just like me.
{{L|Patrick|I think the driving genius knows what he's doing.}}
 
{{L|SpongeBob|''[finally snaps]'' Driving genius?! Would a genius make an illegal U-turn... through an orphanage?!}}
SpongeBob: Yeah, just like you.
{{L|Patrick|They ran for it in time. What are you so mad about?}}
 
{{L|SpongeBob|I should've gotten that license, and this should be ''my'' boat mobile!}}
Patrick: I try to serve as an inspiration to others.
{{L|Patrick|How can you say that? If you were my friend, you'd be happy for me getting my license!}}
 
{{L|SpongeBob|If you were my friend, you wouldn't rub your license in my face!}}
SpongeBob: Can we go home now? (zoom out and scene shows Patrick driving around his rock over and over) We've been driving around your house for hours.
{{L|Patrick|I'm not rubbing my license in your face! ''This'' is rubbing my license in your face! ''[takes out license and rubs it in SpongeBob's face--literally--which makes muffled noises]''}}
 
{{L|SpongeBob|''[fixes his face and then furiously snatches Patrick's license out of his hand]'' Oh, give me that! I worked my whole life for this! You don't deserve this! ''[furiously tears up Patrick's license then laughs maniacally. The pieces of the license fly into the cop's hands.]''}}
Patrick: I know. It's a lot faster than walking, isn't it?
{{L|Officer|Huh... litterbugs. ''This'' is why I joined the force. ''[drives off after SpongeBob & Patrick]''}}
 
{{L|SpongeBob & Patrick|It's the police!}}
SpongeBob: Thanks for the ride, Patrick.
{{L|Officer|''[over speaker]'' Pull it over, litterbug!}}
 
{{L|Patrick|Litterbug?! Noooo! ''[drives faster]''}}
Patrick: No problem, buddy. You can't help being a...pedestrian. (shudders then drives off. SpongeBob imitates Patrick. Scene cuts to SpongeBob in bed asleep. His clock turns to 3:00am when an engine revving is heard which sends SpongeBob into his diving board then back into his bed)
{{L|Officer|Ooh, I got me a runner. ''[a bunch of police cars are following him]''}}
 
{{L|SpongeBob|Patrick, what do you think you're doing?!}}
SpongeBob: Patrick, what are you doing?
{{L|Patrick|I don't know! I don't have a license anymore! ''[drives around a car]''}}
 
{{L|SpongeBob|Look out! ''[Patrick drives through a sign, then off a cliff into the front lot of the Bikini Bottom Jail. Scene cuts to courtroom]''}}
Patrick: I'm trying to work on my boat mobile. Now could you keep it down? It's 3 in the morning, people are trying to sleep. (SpongeBob groans and shuts his window then goes back to bed. Scene cuts to 4:00am)
{{L|Judge|90 days. And I hope you learned a valuable lesson about littering.}}
 
{{L|Patrick|So long, buddy. Don't forget to feed Gary. ''[a security guard takes him away, but he ducks his head back in]'' Sometimes you forget to feed him. ''[ducks out of the shot]''}}
SpongeBob: 4 o'clock? (yawns. Doorbell rings) Who could be at the door at this hou-- (falls down the stairs. Opens the door) Now what is it, Patrick?
{{L|SpongeBob|What have I done? Patrick can't survive in prison; he's too soft. Wait! ''[runs up to the judge]'' Patrick's innocent. I tore up Patrick's license and threw it out the window. I'm the litterbug. Take me instead.}}
 
{{L|Judge|Well, considerin' there's no legal precedent... oh, what the heck. 90 days! ''[a smiling SpongeBob is put in jail]''}}
Patrick: You will never guess what happen to me today.
{{L|French Narrator|One debt to society later...}}
 
{{L|''[After SpongeBob's 90 day sentence, shows the jail as the door buzzes. SpongeBob is let go out of jail where Patrick is waiting for him; the two silently stare at each other smiling for about ten seconds as an orchestra swells dramatically.]''}}
SpongeBob: You got your license.
{{L|SpongeBob|Patrick!}}
 
{{L|Patrick|SpongeBob! ''[both hug]''}}
Patrick: Yeah! (shows his license) But that's not all.
{{L|SpongeBob|I'm glad you passed the test. I'm glad you have a license. And to prove it, I made you this: Pals 4 Ever. ''[shows him a license plate that reads "PALS 4 EVER"]'' Let's put it on your boat mobile, buddy.}}
 
{{L|Patrick|Oh, I don't have the boat mobile anymore.}}
SpongeBob: You got a new boat.
{{L|SpongeBob|What?}}
 
{{L|Patrick|It stopped workin' so I threw it away. The needle was on E, and I figured that must mean "end."}}
Patrick: Yeah. Have you been following me? You know, you need to get your own life. (walks off)
{{L|SpongeBob|Oh, then... what do we do with this? ''[Patrick takes it and puts it on his behind]''}}
 
{{L|Patrick|How's that?}}
SpongeBob: (gets back into bed) Oh...I just need a few minutes sleep. (foghorn alarm blows)
{{L|SpongeBob|Yeah!}}
 
{{L|Patrick|Ready, buddy?}}
Gary: Meow.
{{L|SpongeBob|Ready, pal. ''[hops on Patrick's shoulders and makes car noises]'' Woo! Woo!}}
 
SpongeBob: Yes, Gary, I saw his new boat. (scene cuts to morning where SpongeBob is leaving home to go to work) I'm so tired. (horn honks)
 
Patrick: Hey, buddy. Need a ride to work?
 
SpongeBob: Thanks, Patrick, but I'd rather walk to work. (tries to take a step but falls down in the process. Scene cuts to Patrick driving SpongeBob to the Krusty Krab)
 
Patrick: Boy, I never realized how empty life is without a license.
 
SpongeBob: Thanks for the ride.
 
Patrick: No problem, buddy. You can give me rides once you get your license. I mean, if you get your license.
 
SpongeBob: That's it. I am through driving around with Patrick. If I have to see one more boat mobile...
 
Mr. Krabs: SpongeBob, you're manning the drive-thru.
 
SpongeBob: When did we get a drive-thru?
 
Mr. Krabs: I realized there's a lot of young people on the go these days. They don't have time to sit down and eat. They're too busy out on the open road living their dreams.
 
SpongeBob: I used to have a dream.
 
Mr. Krabs: Yeah? I used to have a kidney stone. Everything passes eventually. Now stop dreaming and work for a living.
 
SpongeBob: (through headphones) Welcome to the Krusty Krab, may I -- ("La Cucaracha" horn honks)
 
Patrick: The horn still works. (scene cuts to SpongeBob switching the OPEN sign to CLOSED then walking out of work. Patrick drives up in a racing uniform) Hey, SpongeBob.
 
SpongeBob: What's with the helmet, Patrick?
 
Patrick: Well, since I'm now an expert driver, I have to keep up my image. (clicks tongue)
 
SpongeBob: Uh-huh. (scene cuts to Patrick driving)
 
Patrick: Boy, driving is so easy.
 
SpongeBob: Oh?
 
Patrick: Do you want me to give you lessons?
 
SpongeBob: (sarcastic) Oh, that would be great.
 
Patrick: Oh! (drives over to SpongeBob’s parents)
 
SpongeBob: Patrick!
 
Patrick: Hi, mommy. Hi, daddy.
 
Mr. SquarePants: Patrick, how many times do we have to tell you we're SpongeBob’s mom and dad, not yours?
 
Patrick: What? I'm an orphan? Oh, but guess what? I passed my driver's test.
 
Mrs. SquarePants: That's great, Patrick.
 
Patrick: SpongeBob failed his test, so don't mention it.
 
Mrs. SquarePants: Oh, we know how to stay clear of that minefield.
 
SpongeBob: Mom!
 
Patrick: Well, I've got to take Mr. Walks-a-lot back home. He's always asking for rides.
 
SpongeBob: Hey. (Patrick drives off)
 
Mr. SquarePants: Even Patrick has a license. (both parents sigh)
 
Patrick: Let's see what this baby can do. (steps on the gas. Ride pass a sign that reads 'SPEED LIMIT 40 MPH')
 
SpongeBob: Patrick, the speed limit is 40mph.
 
Patrick: Yeah, yeah.
 
SpongeBob: (reads the speedometer) 40.5mph? That's almost 41mph. He's speeding. Patrick! Stop this car. (car stops next to a policeman)
 
Patrick: What? Where? Who?
 
SpongeBob: Officer, it is my civilian duty to report that the the driver of this vehicle is speeding. Why don't you clock him with your radar gun?
 
Officer: Umm...ok. (uses radar gun. It reads 0mph) Actually, he's going 40mph under the limit. So, move along before I run you in, tattletale. (drives off)
 
SpongeBob: Are you sure you don't want to run him in? (scene cuts to Patrick driving. Green light turns red) It's a red light, Patrick! (Patrick runs through red lights) Patrick, you just ran 3 red lights!
 
Patrick: So?
 
SpongeBob: You're suppose to stop!
 
Patrick: I think the driving genius knows what he's doing!
 
SpongeBob: Driving genius?! Why would a genius make an illegal u-turn... through an orphanage?!
 
Patrick: They ran for it in time. What are you so mad about?
 
SpongeBob: I should've gotten that license, and this should be my boat mobile!
 
Patrick: How can you say that?! If you were my friend, you'd be happy for me getting my license!
SpongeBob: If you were my friend, you wouldn't rub your license in my face!
 
Patrick: I'm not rubbing my license in your face! This is rubbing my license in your face! (takes out license and rubs it in SpongeBob’s face, which makes muffled noises)
 
SpongeBob: Oh, give me that! I worked my whole life for this! You don't deserve this! (tears up Patrick's license then laughs. The pieces of the license fly into the officers hands)
 
Officer: Huh, litterbugs. This is why I joined the force. (drives off after SpongeBob & Patrick)
 
SpongeBob & Patrick: It's the police!
 
Officer: (over speaker) Pull it over, litterbug!
 
Patrick: Litterbug?! No! (drives faster)
 
Officer: Ooh, I got me a runner. (a bunch of police cars are following him)
 
SpongeBob: Patrick, what do you think you're doing?
 
Patrick: I don't know! I don't have a license anymore. (drives around cards, through a sign then off a cliff into the front lot of the Bikini Bottom Jail. Scene cuts to courtroom)
 
Judge: 90 days. I hope you learned a valuable lesson about littering.
 
Patrick: So long, buddy. Don't forget to feed Gary. Sometimes you forget to feed him.
 
SpongeBob: What have I done? Patrick can't survive in prison. He's too soft. Wait! (runs up to the judge) Patrick's innocent. I tore up Patrick's license and threw it out the window. I'm the litterbug. Take me instead.
 
Judge: Well, considering there's no legal precedent...oh, what the heck. 90 days! (SpongeBob is put in jail)
 
Narrator: One debt to society later... (door buzzes. SpongeBob is let go out of jail where Patrick is waiting for him)
 
SpongeBob: Patrick!
 
Patrick: SpongeBob! (both hug)
 
SpongeBob: I'm glad you passed the test. I'm glad you have a license. And to prove it, I made you this: Pals 4 Ever. (shows him a license plate that reads "PALS 4 EVER") Let's put it on your boat mobile, buddy.
 
Patrick: Oh, I don't have a boat mobile anymore.
 
SpongeBob: What?
 
Patrick: It stopped working so I threw it away. The needle was on E and I figured that must mean end.
 
SpongeBob: Oh, then what do we do with this? (Patrick takes it and puts it on his behind)
 
Patrick: How's that?
 
SpongeBob: Yeah!
 
Patrick: Ready, buddy?
 
SpongeBob: Ready, pal. (hops on Patrick's shoulders and makes car noises) Whoo! Whoo!
[[Category:Episode transcripts]]

Latest revision as of 10:50, 13 June 2025

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