Born Again Krabs/transcript: Difference between revisions
New page: {{BTranscript |Title=Born Again Krabs |Season=3 |Episode=56a |Airdate=October 4, 2003 }} Squidward: (switches the 'open' sign to 'closed') Closing time. The happiest time of the d... |
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| | {{L|''[Evening at the Krusty Krab. Squidward switches the 'open' sign to 'closed.' He appears very optimistic.]''}} | ||
{{L|Squidward|Closing time. The happiest time of the day!}} | |||
{{L|''[Scene cuts to SpongeBob in the kitchen crying and sniffling]''}} | |||
{{L|SpongeBob|Closing time. ''[sniffles]'' The saddest time of the day! ''[falls on the ground still crying]'' Huh? ''[he notices an old Patty under the grill]'' It's a Krabby Patty. ''[SpongeBob tries to pick it up but it's stuck to some gum]'' Eww... It's cold and hard. ''[takes the Patty out from under the grill]'' This could have rolled under there years ago. ''[pats it on the head]'' There, there, little one, your journey is almost over. ''[SpongeBob tosses the Patty in the trash.]''}} | |||
{{L|''[A siren goes off as a fishing line retrieves the patty]''}} | |||
{{L|Mr. Krabs|''[runs in]'' What happened? ''[gasps, then runs up to the trash can]'' Someone tried to throw away a patty! ''[takes it off the hook]''}} | |||
Squidward | {{L|Pinch-o-matic|Pinch-o-matic has saved you 5.2 cents.}} | ||
SpongeBob | {{L|SpongeBob|But, Mr. Krabs, I found that under the grill.}} | ||
Mr. Krabs | {{L|Mr. Krabs|And tomorrow, a customer will find it under his bun. ''[hands it to SpongeBob]''}} | ||
Pinch-o-matic | {{L|SpongeBob|But it's old and cold. And so very full of mold.}} | ||
SpongeBob | {{L|Mr. Krabs|You're not to make another Patty until that one is sold. Understand?}} | ||
Mr. Krabs | {{L|French Narrator|The next day...}} | ||
SpongeBob | {{L|SpongeBob|Order up, Squidward. ''[puts the tray with the Foggy Patty on the window]''}} | ||
Mr. Krabs | {{L|Squidward|''[sarcastically]'' Hooray. ''[smells the Foggy Patty then flips the top bun off. Flies buzz around the stinking patty.]'' Uh... SpongeBob, can I get one with less... fog?}} | ||
Narrator | {{L|SpongeBob|Sorry, Squidward. Mr. Krabs' orders.}} | ||
SpongeBob | {{L|Squidward|Whatever. ''[he hands the tray to Gus]'' Here you are, sir. One Krabby Patty.}} | ||
Squidward | {{L|''[Gus sniffs it. He screams with disgust and quickly back-flips his way out of the restaurant. Scene cuts to the Krusty crew standing by the door.]''}} | ||
SpongeBob | {{L|Mr. Krabs|I don't understand! We haven't had a customer in weeks! I wonder if it's the new placemats?}} | ||
Squidward | {{L|Squidward|What? ''[splutters in frustration at Krabs' stupidity]'' Placemats?! Have you lost your mind? It's that old Patty you keep trying to sell to everybody! It's gone bad.}} | ||
Mr. Krabs | {{L|Mr. Krabs|Gone bad? That's nonsense! Bring it here, SpongeBob. ''[picks up the cage with the Patty inside it]'' Uh, why is it in a cage?}} | ||
Squidward | {{L|SpongeBob|Because it growled at me.}} | ||
Mr. Krabs | {{L|''[Patty is now sentient and starts to growl and bark like some sort of dog. Squidward hides behind Mr. Krabs]''}} | ||
SpongeBob | {{L|Mr. Krabs|You two would have never have lasted in the navy. Let's see how bad you are. ''[takes the Patty out of its cage but it still barks and growls in Mr. Krabs' face]'' No... no... ''[the Patty barks and growls some more]'' Stay... ''[throws a 'treat' into its mouth]'' Thatta girl! There, there. ''[He pats it gently]'' See? Good enough to eat. ''[about to eat it when an ambulance goes by]'' Oh, look, an ambulance. Now, then... ''[takes bite of the Patty]''}} | ||
Mr. Krabs | {{L|''[Scene suddenly cuts to him moaning, now green in color due to food poisoning, being rolled on a gurney, into a hospital]''}} | ||
SpongeBob | {{L|Mr. Krabs|SpongeBob?}} | ||
Mr. Krabs | {{L|SpongeBob|Yes, Mr. Krabs?}} | ||
{{L|Mr. Krabs|Make sure you wrap up that Patty. I'm not finished with it yet!}} | |||
Mr. Krabs | {{L|''[Scene cuts to Mr. Krabs in a hospital bed]''}} | ||
{{L|Purple Doctorfish|Well, Mr. Krabs, you gave us quite the scare.}} | |||
Mr. Krabs | {{L|Mr. Krabs|So I'm gonna be okay, doc?}} | ||
{{L|Purple Doctorfish|Well, if you don't want to take my word for it, let's just check your chart. ''[looks at the chart]'' Let's see here. Hmmm... oh, no! ''[starts to shake]'' Oh no, this is terrible! ''[drops the clipboard]''}} | |||
Mr. Krabs | {{L|Mr. Krabs|Everything okay, doc?}} | ||
Flying Dutchman | {{L|Purple Doctorfish|Don't touch me! ''[runs out screaming]''}} | ||
Mr. Krabs | {{L|Mr. Krabs|That's not a good sign.}} | ||
Flying Dutchman | {{L|''[Thunder roars as the room turns into green. The Flying Dutchman appears. Mr. Krabs pulls his covers over his head, showing he's scared.]''}} | ||
Nurse | {{L|Flying Dutchman|Har, har har har har har har har har har!}} | ||
{{L|Mr. Krabs|Oh, no, it's the Flying Dutchman!}} | |||
Nurse | {{L|Flying Dutchman|Eugene Krabs, your time has come.}} | ||
Flying Dutchman | {{L|Mr. Krabs|I'm not Eugene Krabs, I'm, uhh, Harold. Harold, uhh... ''[looks at the flower vase next to him]'' Flower!}} | ||
Nurse | {{L|Flying Dutchman|Oh, sorry. I must have the wrong room. ''[flies out]'' Excuse me, nurse?}} | ||
Flying Dutchman | {{L|Nurse|''[in a happy, musical tone]'' Yes?}} | ||
Mr. Krabs | {{L|Flying Dutchman|I'm looking for Eugene Krabs.}} | ||
Flying Dutchman | {{L|Nurse|Oh, he's in that room right there.}} | ||
Mr. Krabs | {{L|Flying Dutchman|No, that's Harold Flower's room.}} | ||
Flying Dutchman | {{L|Nurse|''[confused]'' Harold Flower?}} | ||
Mr. Krabs | {{L|''[Flying Dutchman quickly goes back to Mr. Krabs in anger]''}} | ||
Flying Dutchman | {{L|Flying Dutchman|So, Krabs, you thought you could fool the Flying Dutchman?}} | ||
Mr. Krabs | {{L|Mr. Krabs|What do you want from me?}} | ||
Flying Dutchman | {{L|Flying Dutchman|I'm here to escort you to the resting place of all bad undersea folk: Davy Jones' locker!}} | ||
Mr. Krabs | {{L|Mr. Krabs|Davy Jones' locker?! Why do I have to go there? I'm not a bad crab!}} | ||
Flying Dutchman | {{L|Flying Dutchman|Ah, but you were cheap, and being cheap is a terrible thing. Next stop, Davy Jones' locker! ''[Evil laughs.]''}} | ||
Mr. Krabs | {{L|''[Scene cuts to Davy Jones' locker where Flying Dutchman and Mr. Krabs reappear.]''}} | ||
{{L|Flying Dutchman|Here we are.}} | |||
SpongeBob | {{L|Mr. Krabs|''[smells something foul]'' Blech! Why does it smell so foul?}} | ||
Squidward | {{L|Flying Dutchman|Davy Jones works out a lot. ''[opens the locker where a bunch of smelly gym socks are]'' These are his socks. Get in!}} | ||
Mr. Krabs | {{L|Mr. Krabs|''[gets on his knees and starts crying]'' Oh, please, Mr. Dutchman, I don't wanna go in there! I'll do anything! Please, give me another chance!}} | ||
SpongeBob | {{L|Flying Dutchman|Come on, Krabs, show a little dignity.}} | ||
Squidward | {{L|Mr. Krabs|''[Frantically]'' Mommy!}} | ||
Mr. Krabs | {{L|Flying Dutchman|Alright, alright, stop your crying. I'll give you another chance, but you must always be generous, never cheap.}} | ||
{{L|Mr. Krabs|You have me word as a sailor.}} | |||
Mr. Krabs | {{L|''[Scene cuts to the dilapidated Krusty Krab where a sign hangs over it that reads 'Out of Business']''}} | ||
{{L|Squidward|''[looking through Mr. Krabs' desk drawers]'' Mr. Krabs' nose hair clippers. I could use these.}} | |||
Mr. Krabs | {{L|''[SpongeBob is wearing his hat and holding his spatula, crying]''}} | ||
{{L|SpongeBob|Squidward, you shouldn't be going through Mr. Krabs' belongings. ''[sniffs]'' He won't like it!}} | |||
Mr. Krabs | {{L|Squidward|SpongeBob, I told you what the doctor said. Mr. Krabs isn't coming back. ''[trying to open the safe while using a stethoscope on it]'' Now, keep quiet so I can hear the tumblers in his safe.}} | ||
SpongeBob | {{L|''[Mr. Krabs walks in]''}} | ||
Mr. Krabs | {{L|Mr. Krabs|Hey, boys!}} | ||
{{L|''[SpongeBob screams with joy as Squidward sheepishly hides his stethoscope behind his back]''}} | |||
Mr. Krabs | {{L|SpongeBob|Mr. Krabs, I knew it! You're alive! ''[clings to Mr. Krabs happily]'' Squidward, look, it's Mr. Krabs! Isn't this too good to be true?}} | ||
SpongeBob | {{L|Squidward|''[Deadpan]'' Well, it was.}} | ||
Mr. Krabs | {{L|Mr. Krabs|You know, boys, being sick made me do a lot of thinking. My whole life has been about money. Saving money, collecting money, ''[mimics being infatuated to money]'' touching money... ''[returns back to normal talking]'' Well, you get the picture. But no more. You're looking at the new, improved, non-cheap Mr. Krabs.}} | ||
SpongeBob | {{L|''[Scene cuts to outside the Krusty Krab where a giant 'Grand Re-Opening' sign is hanging. 'Buy' and 'Free' signs are in the window. Inside, a giant 'Celebrate Good Times' banner hangs over the main doors.]''}} | ||
Mr. Krabs | {{L|Mr. Krabs|Welcome all, welcome!}} | ||
Squidward | {{L|''[A little kid walks up to Mr. Krabs]''}} | ||
Mr. Krabs | {{L|Mr. Krabs|Hello, little one. What you got there?}} | ||
Squidward | {{L|Monroe|A Krabby Patty.}} | ||
Mr. Krabs | {{L|Mr. Krabs|''[laughs]'' Of course, you do! You know what that means, right?}} | ||
{{L|Monroe|I don't go hungry?}} | |||
Mr. Krabs | {{L|Mr. Krabs|No, silly! It means free toy! ''[gives him a little toy]''}} | ||
Squidward | {{L|Monroe|Gee, thanks Mr. Krabs. I thought you were a cheap, old tightwad.}} | ||
Mr. Krabs | {{L|Mr. Krabs|I was, son, I was. Free toys for everyone! And free refills!}} | ||
Squidward | {{L|''[Everyone cheers. Mr. Krabs runs up to SpongeBob. A giant 'Live for Today' banner hangs next to the pickup window.]''}} | ||
Mr. Krabs | {{L|Mr. Krabs|Hello, boy! Say, where's Squidward?}} | ||
SpongeBob | {{L|SpongeBob|Oh, he's taking one of those break things in your office, I mean, the 'employee lounge'.}} | ||
Squidward | {{L|''[Scene cuts to Squidward sleeping peacefully in a bed in Mr. Krabs' office. Back to the main room.]''}} | ||
Mr. Krabs | {{L|Mr. Krabs|''[Joyfully]'' Great!}} | ||
Squidward | {{L|Martha|Excuse me, but I dropped my Krabby Patty. Could I get another one?}} | ||
Mr. Krabs | {{L|Mr. Krabs|SpongeBob?}} | ||
SpongeBob | {{L|SpongeBob|Yes sir. ''[takes the patty and lifts the top bun where a disclaimer, written in ketchup form, is shown, and he reads it]'' Krusty Krab policy clearly states that once the burger has reached the customer, it is his/her responsibility...}} | ||
Squidward | {{L|Mr. Krabs|SpongeBob! ''[puts down the bun]'' That's the old policy. Now run back and bring out a fresh one.}} | ||
{{L|SpongeBob|Aye, aye, sir. ''[goes into the kitchen]''}} | |||
{{L|Mr. Krabs|Sorry about the confusion. ''[pulls out a toy]'' Free toy?}} | |||
Mr. Krabs | {{L|''[Martha takes it, looking confused]''}} | ||
{{L|Squidward|Eugene, my man.}} | |||
Mr. Krabs | {{L|Mr. Krabs|Squidward! How's the break coming?}} | ||
Flying Dutchman | {{L|Squidward|Should be over in a couple of hours. Have SpongeBob send back a patty and an iced-tea, will you? ''[Winks then walks off]''}} | ||
Mr. Krabs | {{L|Mr. Krabs|Sure thing, Squidward. Take it easy.}} | ||
Squidward | {{L|''[Mr. Krabs walks up to a customer watching a movie on a small television hanging from the ceiling]''}} | ||
Mr. Krabs | {{L|Mr. Krabs|Are you enjoying your in-meal movie?}} | ||
SpongeBob | {{L|Harold|This movie hasn't even been in the theaters yet!}} | ||
Flying Dutchman | {{L|Mr. Krabs|''[pats the customer on the back]'' No expense spared for my valued customers.}} | ||
SpongeBob | {{L|''[Scene cuts to Mr. Krabs and SpongeBob standing in front of the restaurant]''}} | ||
Flying Dutchman | {{L|Mr. Krabs|Look at all those happy faces. It sure does feel good to be generous.}} | ||
SpongeBob | {{L|Squidward|''[walks in with some envelopes]'' Here's your mail, Eugene.}} | ||
Flying Dutchman | {{L|Mr. Krabs|Thanks, Squidward. You look rested.}} | ||
Mr. Krabs | {{L|Squidward|Yeah, these naps at work are doing wonders for me. ''[stretches and yawns a little]''}} | ||
SpongeBob | {{L|Mr. Krabs|Credit card bills. Well, I knew this was coming. Let's see what the damage is. ''[opens the envelope]'' Only ten thousand dollars. That's not so bad. ''[runs up to the cash register]'' I'll just subtract it from today's profit. ''[opens the register, but it's empty]'' And...there's no money in here. ''[laughs]'' How delightful.}} | ||
Flying Dutchman | {{L|SpongeBob|Squidward, I'm worried about Mr. Krabs.}} | ||
Mr. Krabs | {{L|Squidward|Me, too. How are we gonna get paid? ''[both walk up to Mr. Krabs]'' Gee, Mr. Krabs, you sure are taking total bankruptcy well.}} | ||
SpongeBob | {{L|Mr. Krabs|Oh, it's just a bad dream. I'll wake up soon. ''[SpongeBob and Squidward look at each other surprised]''}} | ||
Flying Dutchman | {{L|Squidward|Uh... "dream?"}} | ||
Mr. Krabs | {{L|Mr. Krabs|Sure. I'm still in the hospital sleeping like a baby.}} | ||
Squidward | {{L|SpongeBob|Umm, you checked out of the hospital this morning.}} | ||
Mr. Krabs | {{L|Squidward|Here's the bill. ''[hands Mr. Krabs the bill from earlier]''}} | ||
Squidward | {{L|Mr. Krabs|You mean... ''[shocked]'' I'm ''awake''?! ''[he screams in horror as his head cracks through the middle over and over. Each time he cracks his head open, a new one appears.]''}} | ||
Mr. Krabs | {{L|''[Mr. Krabs now changes from generous to greedy and races up to Nat drinking a Mountain Dew-like drink and he confiscates it from him]''}} | ||
Flying Dutchman | {{L|Mr. Krabs|No more refills!}} | ||
Mr. Krabs | {{L|''[Mr. Krabs takes it to the soda machine and the drink gets sucked back into it like a vacuum. Then, he runs up to two kids playing with toys. He swipes them also.]''}} | ||
Flying Dutchman | {{L|Mr. Krabs|Give me back them toys, you freeloaders!}} | ||
{{L|''[And Mr. Krabs then runs back over to Harold watching the movie earlier]''}} | |||
SpongeBob | {{L|Mr. Krabs|''[while tapping a remote]'' Show's over, cheapskate!}} | ||
{{L|''[Mr. Krabs turns the TV off, then presses a button that erases his memory of the movie. Harold goes dizzy.]''}} | |||
{{L|Nathiel Waters|Hey, it's my lucky day, a penny! ''[reaches for the penny]''}} | |||
{{L|Mr. Krabs|''[grabs a hold of the customer's arm]'' Your luck just ran out!}} | |||
{{L|Nathiel Waters|Hey, man, ease back! You're crushing my arm!}} | |||
{{L|Mr. Krabs|Unhand that penny, or the arm comes off!}} | |||
{{L|''[Flying Dutchman reappears. The customer runs away]''}} | |||
{{L|Flying Dutchman|A-ha! That little display of parsimonious penny pinching just earned you a nice little spot in Davy Jones' locker... For eternity!}} | |||
{{L|Mr. Krabs|I'm not cheap, I'm generous!}} | |||
{{L|Squidward|You almost tore a man's arm off for a penny.}} | |||
{{L|Mr. Krabs|''[sarcastically]'' Thanks, Squidward, I knew I could count on you. ''[Flying Dutchman picks him up]'' Well, a deal's a deal. Let's go.}} | |||
{{L|SpongeBob|Wait just a burger-flipping second!}} | |||
{{L|''[Flying Dutchman turns around]''}} | |||
{{L|Flying Dutchman|Who dares back-sass the Flying Dutchman?}} | |||
{{L|SpongeBob|That would be me: SpongeBob Back-SassPants. I say you got the wrong crab. This Mr. Krabs is the most generous, big-hearted, non-skinflinted crab in the whole sea. ''[While SpongeBob speaks, Mr. Krabs is happy at SpongeBob's words]''}} | |||
{{L|Flying Dutchman|He'd sell your soul for a couple of bucks.}} | |||
{{L|SpongeBob|I'd bet my soul he wouldn't.}} | |||
{{L|Flying Dutchman|You got yourself a bet. ''[to Mr. Krabs]'' Okay, Krabs, I'll let you stay, but first, help me settle a bet. If you had to choose between SpongeBob and all the money I have in my pocket, which would you take?}} | |||
{{L|Mr. Krabs|That depends. How much money we talking about?}} | |||
{{L|SpongeBob|Mr. Krabs!}} | |||
{{L|Flying Dutchman|''[shows some coins]'' 62 cents.}} | |||
{{L|Mr. Krabs|I'll take the money.}} | |||
{{L|SpongeBob|Mr. Krabs!}} | |||
{{L|Flying Dutchman|Here you go, Krabs. 62 cents. ''[hands him the change and picks up SpongeBob]'' Next stop: Davy Jones' locker! ''[SpongeBob screams as they both disappear]''}} | |||
{{L|Mr. Krabs|''[Runs to Squidward, happy]'' Look, Squidward, money!}} | |||
{{L|Squidward|Mr. Krabs, I can't believe I'm saying this, but how could you trade SpongeBob for sixty-two cents?}} | |||
{{L|Mr. Krabs|You think I could've gotten more?}} | |||
{{L|Squidward|He stuck up for you and you sold him out. You should be ashamed of yourself!}} | |||
{{L|Mr. Krabs|''[Briefly looks at his change in a sad way until he starts to cry.]'' Oh, what have I done? ''[cries]'' I want another chance! I didn't learn anything! I lost me best fry cook! I don't want this foul money! ''[throws the change on the ground]'' I want SpongeBob back!}} | |||
{{L|''[Flying Dutchman reappears and drops SpongeBob on the floor]''}} | |||
{{L|Flying Dutchman|Here, take him back.}} | |||
{{L|Mr. Krabs|You heard what I said about the money?}} | |||
{{L|Flying Dutchman|Heard what you said? I couldn't hear myself thinking with this one around. I only had him for thirty seconds. ''[while speaking, scene cuts to SpongeBob and Flying Dutchman at Davy Jones' locker with SpongeBob talking a lot]'' And it's jellyfishing this and Mermaid Man that. Why, not giving him back is a fate worse than death!}} | |||
{{L|SpongeBob|''[In the Davy Jones' locker scene, talking simultaneously with the Flying Dutchman's explanations, talking super quickly]'' Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy are the greatest. They're close personal friends of mine. They taught me everything. I love jellyfishing, do you like jellyfishing? I do. You want to go jellyfishing with me some time? Bring your own net!}} | |||
{{L|Flying Dutchman|He's your problem now. ''[laughs evilly as he disappears]''}} | |||
{{L|Mr. Krabs|Heh, about trading you for pocket change...}} | |||
{{L|SpongeBob|Say no more, Mr. Krabs. You did it for the Krusty Krab. I would have done the same thing.}} | |||
{{L|Mr. Krabs|You would have?}} | |||
{{L|SpongeBob|No.}} | |||
{{L|''[SpongeBob, Mr. Krabs, and Squidward all laugh. Scene cuts to the Flying Dutchman sitting on a chair, reading a book until the phone rings]''}} | |||
{{L|Flying Dutchman|''[picks up phone]'' Dutchman's residence.}} | |||
{{L|SpongeBob|''[on the other end, talking super quickly]'' So, as I was saying, you and me gotta hang out more. What nights are good for you? Here are the nights that are good for me: Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday. I gotta work. ''[Flying Dutchman groans]'' I work at the Krusty Krab. My best friend is Patrick. He's pink.}} | |||
Latest revision as of 10:18, 3 May 2025
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