Club SpongeBob/transcript: Difference between revisions
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{{L|SpongeBob and Patrick|''[laughs]''}} | {{L|SpongeBob and Patrick|''[laughs]''}} | ||
{{L|Squidward|What's that supposed to be? Some kind of stupid secret code?}} | {{L|Squidward|What's that supposed to be? Some kind of stupid secret code?}} | ||
{{L|SpongeBob|We can't tell you 'cause you're not a member of the club.}} | {{L|SpongeBob|We can't tell you, 'cause you're not a member of the club.}} | ||
{{L|Squidward|Oh, yeah? What does it take to be a member, besides being a moron? ''[laughs]'' Moron... ''[laughs again]'' as a requirement. ''[laughs again]''}} | {{L|Squidward|Oh, yeah? What does it take to be a member, besides being a moron? ''[laughs]'' Moron... ''[laughs again]'' as a requirement. ''[laughs again]''}} | ||
{{L|SpongeBob|Sorry, Squidward, but you couldn't get in even if you tried!}} | {{L|SpongeBob|Sorry, Squidward, but you couldn't get in even if you tried!}} | ||
{{L|Squidward|Huh? Well, I'll have you know that I am a member of over 20 different exclusive clubs all across the sea bottom!}} | {{L|Squidward|Huh? Well, I'll have you know that I am a member of over 20 different exclusive clubs all across the sea bottom!}} | ||
{{L|Patrick|''[whispering to SpongeBob]'' What did he say?}} | {{L|Patrick|''[whispering to SpongeBob]'' What did he say?}} | ||
{{L|SpongeBob|''[whispering to Patrick]'' I don't know | {{L|SpongeBob|''[whispering to Patrick]'' I don't know, something about his nose?}} | ||
{{L|Patrick|''[sticks his head out of the "Clubhouse" and talks to Squidward]'' Squidward, you and your nose will definitely ''not'' fit in | {{L|Patrick|''[sticks his head out of the "Clubhouse" and talks to Squidward]'' Squidward, you and your nose will definitely ''not'' fit in!}} | ||
{{L|Squidward|Oh, what do you two zeros know about fitting in? ''[takes off his hat and starts to climb up the "Clubhouse"]'' Why, you should be begging me to join!}} | {{L|Squidward|Oh, what do you two zeros know about fitting in? ''[takes off his hat and starts to climb up the "Clubhouse"]'' Why, you should be begging me to join!}} | ||
{{L|SpongeBob and Patrick|Squidward! Squidward, no, no, no! Stop! No, no, no, stop, please, please! Stop, Squidward! You can't join! You can't join! Can't join! You can't get in!}} | {{L|SpongeBob and Patrick|Squidward! Squidward, no, no, no! Stop! No, no, no, stop, please, please! Stop, Squidward! You can't join! You can't join! Can't join! You can't get in!}} | ||
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{{L|SpongeBob|Well, since you're here, Squidward, we'll give you the new member initiation. Are you ready, Patrick?}} | {{L|SpongeBob|Well, since you're here, Squidward, we'll give you the new member initiation. Are you ready, Patrick?}} | ||
{{L|Patrick|Ready!}} | {{L|Patrick|Ready!}} | ||
{{L|SpongeBob and Patrick|''[singing]'' Welcome to our club! Welcome to our club! Welcome Squidward! Welcome Squidward! Welcome Squidward! Welcome Squidward! Welcome Squid | {{L|SpongeBob and Patrick|''[singing]'' Welcome to our club! Welcome to our club! Welcome Squidward! Welcome Squidward! Welcome Squidward! Welcome Squidward! Welcome Squid--}} | ||
{{L|Squidward|Shut your half-wit pieholes! ''[grabs a stalk beside the one holding up the "Clubhouse" and pulls it while the other one is going down]'' I do not now, nor will I ever, want to be a member of your stupid club! ''[gets to the floor but the stalk snaps and the stalk holding up the "Clubhouse" flings back very fast and the "Clubhouse" flies off it, then starts screaming]''}} | {{L|Squidward|Shut your half-wit pieholes! ''[grabs a stalk beside the one holding up the "Clubhouse" and pulls it while the other one is going down]'' I do not now, nor will I ever, want to be a member of your stupid club! ''[gets to the floor but the stalk snaps and the stalk holding up the "Clubhouse" flings back very fast and the "Clubhouse" flies off it, then starts screaming]''}} | ||
{{L|Nancy|Whoa!}} | {{L|Nancy|Whoa!}} | ||
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{{L|''[Squidward continues screaming. The "Clubhouse" falls into the Kelp Forest of seaweed.]''}} | {{L|''[Squidward continues screaming. The "Clubhouse" falls into the Kelp Forest of seaweed.]''}} | ||
{{L|SpongeBob and Patrick|Whoo-hoo! Whoo-hoo-hoo! Whoo! Whoo! Whoo! Whoo! Again! Oh, yeah! Again! ''[victory screech]}} | {{L|SpongeBob and Patrick|Whoo-hoo! Whoo-hoo-hoo! Whoo! Whoo! Whoo! Whoo! Again! Oh, yeah! Again! ''[victory screech]}} | ||
{{L|Squidward|Oh, no | {{L|Squidward|Oh, no! That didn't just happen! Please tell me that didn't happen!}} | ||
{{L|Patrick|What happened?}} | {{L|Patrick|What happened?}} | ||
{{L|''[SpongeBob shrugs. Squidward runs around the "Clubhouse"]''}} | {{L|''[SpongeBob shrugs. Squidward runs around the "Clubhouse"]''}} | ||
{{L|Squidward|Where are we? We're lost! There's no way out! Stuck... in the middle of nowhere... with SpongeBob and Patrick!}} | {{L|Squidward|Where are we? We're lost! There's no way out! Stuck... in the middle of nowhere... with SpongeBob and Patrick!}} | ||
{{L|''[SpongeBob and Patrick wave at Squidward who starts crying.]''}} | {{L|''[SpongeBob and Patrick wave at Squidward who starts crying.]''}} | ||
{{L|Squidward|Oh, why must every 11 minutes of my life be filled with misery? Why | {{L|Squidward|Oh, why must every 11 minutes of my life be filled with misery?! Why?!}} | ||
{{L|SpongeBob|Oh, cheer up, Squid, it could be worse.}} | {{L|SpongeBob|Oh, cheer up, Squid, it could be worse.}} | ||
{{L|Patrick|Yeah, you could be bald and have a big nose.}} | {{L|Patrick|Yeah, you could be bald and have a big nose.}} | ||
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{{L|SpongeBob|Come on, guys, we're gonna be fine! ''[patting Squidward's head]'' As long as we stick together. Remember, we're a club!}} | {{L|SpongeBob|Come on, guys, we're gonna be fine! ''[patting Squidward's head]'' As long as we stick together. Remember, we're a club!}} | ||
{{L|SpongeBob and Patrick|''[they do the victory screech again]''}} | {{L|SpongeBob and Patrick|''[they do the victory screech again]''}} | ||
{{L|SpongeBob|And besides, we have '' | {{L|SpongeBob|And besides, we have this! ''[pulls out a conch shell]''}} | ||
{{L|Squidward|What's that?}} | {{L|Squidward|What's that?}} | ||
{{L|Patrick| | {{L|Patrick|Oh! The Magic Conch Shell! Ask it something, ask it something!}} | ||
{{L|SpongeBob|Magic Conch Shell, will I ever get married? ''[pulls the string attached to the Magic Conch]''}} | {{L|SpongeBob|Magic Conch Shell, will I ever get married? ''[pulls the string attached to the Magic Conch]''}} | ||
{{L|Magic Conch|Maybe, someday.}} | {{L|Magic Conch|Maybe, someday.}} | ||
{{L|SpongeBob and Patrick|''[giggling]'' | {{L|SpongeBob and Patrick|''[giggling]'' Ooh!}} | ||
{{L|Squidward|You've got to be kidding! That is just a stupid toy! How can that possibly help us?}} | {{L|Squidward|You've got to be kidding! That is just a stupid toy! How can that possibly help us?!}} | ||
{{L|SpongeBob|''[gasps]'' Squidward, we must never question the wisdom of the Magic Conch | {{L|SpongeBob|''[gasps]'' Squidward, we must never question the wisdom of the Magic Conch! The club always takes its advice before we do anything!}} | ||
{{L|Patrick|The shell knows all!}} | {{L|Patrick|The shell knows all!}} | ||
{{L|SpongeBob|Oh, Magic Conch Shell. What do we need to do to get out of the Kelp Forest? [pulls the string attached to the Magic Conch]''}} | {{L|SpongeBob|Oh, Magic Conch Shell. What do we need to do to get out of the Kelp Forest? [pulls the string attached to the Magic Conch]''}} | ||
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{{L|Squidward|''[growls]'' I can't believe you two are gonna take advice from a toy!}} | {{L|Squidward|''[growls]'' I can't believe you two are gonna take advice from a toy!}} | ||
{{L|''[SpongeBob and Patrick still do nothing]''}} | {{L|''[SpongeBob and Patrick still do nothing]''}} | ||
{{L|Squidward|''[growls again]'' All right, all right, all right! I don't need your help. I'm gonna find my way back to sanity! ''[starts walking away in the Kelp Forest]'' But don't you two sad clowns come crying to me when your circus tent comes crashing down! Sad clowns... ''[laughs]'' sad... ''[laughs again]'' clowns. ''[laughs again. Later, he begins to run fast and grows scared and starts panting rapidly]'' What was that? I was already here! Which way do I go? Oh, I'm lost! ''[trips and falls]'' | {{L|Squidward|''[growls again]'' All right, all right, all right! I don't need your help. I'm gonna find my way back to sanity! ''[starts walking away in the Kelp Forest]'' But don't you two sad clowns come crying to me when your circus tent comes crashing down! Sad clowns... ''[laughs]'' sad... ''[laughs again]'' clowns. ''[laughs again. Later, he begins to run fast and grows scared and starts panting rapidly]'' What was that?! I was already here! Which way do I go?! Oh, I'm lost! ''[trips and falls]'' Oh... I'm hopelessly lost! I'll never get out of here! ''[sees light]'' Huh? ''[laughing. He goes toward the light]'' I'm free! Take that, SpongeBob and Patrick! ''[pumps fists in the air and starts laughing triumphantly but sees SpongeBob and Patrick]'' Huh? Oh... ''[falls on the ground]'' There's no way out of here. ''[scene cuts to SpongeBob and Patrick still doing nothing. A stick is thrown at Patrick's head. Squidward is putting a pan over a fire]'' How's it going over there at Club Shell-for-Brains? Mmm-mmm-mmm. I am hungry. I wonder what's on the menu for Club Squidward tonight? ''[spots a bug running around so he steps on it]'' Ah... ''[puts the bug on the pan and walks over to SpongeBob and waves the pan over his nose]'' Doesn't that smell good, SpongeBob? You haven't eaten in days. ''[walks over to Patrick]'' How about you, Patrick? A big boy's gotta eat. Well, you can't have any. ''[walks away from Patrick]'' And do you know why, SpongeBob? Because your club president is a shell! ''[shakes his butt in SpongeBob's face]'' If you had listened to me, you'd have food, shelter, and a roaring fire. But instead you listened to a talking clam... ''[moves back to Club Squidward]'' that tells you nothing! ''[stirs the pan]'' As if the answers to all your problems will fall right out of the sky! ''[laughs]'' Fall right out of the sky! ''[camera switches to an airplane falling out of the sky]''}} | ||
{{L|Scooter| | {{L|Scooter|Dude, we're falling right out of the sky! We gotta drop the load! ''[presses the "Drop the Load" button. The airplane drops picnic supplies to where SpongeBob and Patrick are]''}} | ||
{{L|SpongeBob and Patrick|Praise the Magic Conch! ''[victory screech. Squidward stares shockingly. The bug gets up, hits him with the stick, and runs off. SpongeBob and Patrick eat. SpongeBob eats two hamburgers. Patrick eating a whole turkey in one bite. Now, when SpongeBob and Patrick are drinking, SpongeBob is drinking a can of soda and Patrick is drinking a bottle of ketchup. They laugh and Squidward goes to them]''}} | {{L|SpongeBob and Patrick|Praise the Magic Conch! ''[victory screech. Squidward stares shockingly. The bug gets up, hits him with the stick, and runs off. SpongeBob and Patrick eat. SpongeBob eats two hamburgers. Patrick eating a whole turkey in one bite. Now, when SpongeBob and Patrick are drinking, SpongeBob is drinking a can of soda and Patrick is drinking a bottle of ketchup. They laugh and Squidward goes to them]''}} | ||
{{L|Squidward|Uh, hey, uh, SpongeBob... that sure is a lot of food you got there.}} | {{L|Squidward|Uh, hey, uh, SpongeBob... that sure is a lot of food you got there.}} | ||
{{L|SpongeBob|It's a gift from the Magic Conch.}} | {{L|SpongeBob|It's a gift from the Magic Conch.}} | ||
{{L|Squidward|Everything sure looks delicious | {{L|Squidward|Everything sure looks delicious! ''[gasps]'' Oh! Smoked sausages, my favorite! ''[smells them but Patrick sucks them in and Squidward's nose too. He pulls his nose out]'' Uh, hey, uh, ''[laughs]'' SpongeBob, I... you know, I was just kidding around earlier and I mean, I'm... I'm still part of the club, right? And... and-and-and-and after all, the club's gotta stick together, and I mean... you know, I, um... ''[stammers; While he is saying all this, SpongeBob is eating a cookie and is drinking a glass of orange juice]''}} | ||
{{L|SpongeBob|Squidward?}} | {{L|SpongeBob|Squidward?}} | ||
{{L|Squidward| | {{L|Squidward|Um... uh... yeah?}} | ||
{{L|SpongeBob|Once a member, always a member!}} | {{L|SpongeBob|Once a member, always a member!}} | ||
{{L|SpongeBob and Patrick|''[clink glasses]'' To the club! ''[victory screech]''}} | {{L|SpongeBob and Patrick|''[clink glasses]'' To the club! ''[victory screech]''}} | ||
{{L|Squidward| | {{L|Squidward|Uh, yeah. ''[mimics the victory screech, weakly]'' Now, uh, if you'll excuse me... ''[runs to the table with all the food]'' What shall I eat first? The spaghetti, the turkey, the soup, the canned meat?}} | ||
{{L|SpongeBob|Why don't you ask... the Magic Conch, Squidward?}} | {{L|SpongeBob|Why don't you ask... the Magic Conch, Squidward?}} | ||
{{L|Squidward|Oh, yeah, like that'll happen. Right after I consult the Magic Toenail.}} | {{L|Squidward|Oh, yeah, like that'll happen. Right after I consult the Magic Toenail.}} | ||
{{L|''[Squidward prepares to eat but SpongeBob and Patrick pull the table away and block it.]''}} | {{L|''[Squidward prepares to eat but SpongeBob and Patrick pull the table away and block it.]''}} | ||
{{L|SpongeBob|''[gasps]'' Squidward, are you questioning the authority of the Magic Conch? The conch is the one who gave us this banquet | {{L|SpongeBob|''[gasps]'' Squidward, are you questioning the authority of the Magic Conch? The conch is the one who gave us this banquet! This copyrighted conch is the cornerstone of our organization!}} | ||
{{L|Patrick|''[whispering]'' Maybe he's not a brother.}} | {{L|Patrick|''[whispering]'' Maybe he's not a brother.}} | ||
{{L|''[SpongeBob looks at Squidward wide-eyed.]''}} | {{L|''[SpongeBob looks at Squidward wide-eyed.]''}} | ||
{{L|Squidward|''[chuckles]'' Hey, | {{L|Squidward|''[chuckles]'' Hey, you guys have it all wrong. I love this, uh, piece of plastic. ''[takes the Magic Conch from SpongeBob]'' Uh, hello there. Magic Conch, uh, I was wondering... uh, should I have the spaghetti or the turkey?}} | ||
{{L|Magic Conch|Neither.}} | {{L|Magic Conch|Neither.}} | ||
{{L|Squidward|Oh, then how about the soup?}} | {{L|Squidward|Oh, then how about the soup?}} | ||
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{{L|Squidward|''[becomes annoyed]'' Could I have anything to eat?}} | {{L|Squidward|''[becomes annoyed]'' Could I have anything to eat?}} | ||
{{L|Magic Conch|No.}} | {{L|Magic Conch|No.}} | ||
{{L|Squidward|No?! What do you mean no? I'm starving here!}} | {{L|Squidward|No?! What do you mean no?! I'm starving here!}} | ||
{{L|Patrick|''[takes the Magic Conch]'' Here, let me try | {{L|Patrick|''[takes the Magic Conch]'' Here, let me try! Magic Conch, could Squidward have some of this yummy, delicious, super-terrific sandwich?}} | ||
{{L|Magic Conch|No.}} | {{L|Magic Conch|No.}} | ||
{{L|Patrick|Hmm... ''[happily]'' Could I have this yummy, delicious, super-terrific sandwich?}} | {{L|Patrick|Hmm... ''[happily]'' Could I have this yummy, delicious, super-terrific sandwich?}} | ||
{{L|Magic Conch|Yes.}} | {{L|Magic Conch|Yes.}} | ||
{{L|Patrick|All right! ''[vacuums in the sandwich and burps]'' Sorry, Squidward.}} | {{L|Patrick|All right! ''[vacuums in the sandwich and burps]'' Sorry, Squidward.}} | ||
{{L|Squidward|Give me that! ''[grabs the Magic Conch]'' Could I have something to eat?}} | {{L|Squidward|Give me that! ''[grabs the Magic Conch]'' Could I have something to eat?!}} | ||
{{L|Magic Conch|No.}} | {{L|Magic Conch|No.}} | ||
{{L|Squidward|Could I have something to eat?}} | {{L|Squidward|Could I have something to eat?!}} | ||
{{L|Magic Conch|No.}} | {{L|Magic Conch|No.}} | ||
{{L|Squidward|Could I have something to eat?}} | {{L|Squidward|Could I have something to eat?!}} | ||
{{L|Magic Conch|No.}} | {{L|Magic Conch|No.}} | ||
{{L|Squidward|Can't you say anything else but no?}} | {{L|Squidward|Can't you say anything else but no?!}} | ||
{{L|Magic Conch|Try asking again.}} | {{L|Magic Conch|Try asking again.}} | ||
{{L|Squidward|''[asks excitedly with a grin on his face]'' Can I have something to eat?}} | {{L|Squidward|''[asks excitedly with a grin on his face]'' Can I have something to eat?}} | ||
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{{L|SpongeBob|Squidward, are you all right?}} | {{L|SpongeBob|Squidward, are you all right?}} | ||
{{L|''[Squidward shakes his head uncontrollably.]''}} | {{L|''[Squidward shakes his head uncontrollably.]''}} | ||
{{L|Patrick|Maybe we should ask the shell if he's | {{L|Patrick|Maybe we should ask the shell if he's okay.}} | ||
{{L|Kelp Forest Ranger|''[offscreen]'' Hello? Anyone there? Hello? Hello?! ''[reveals himself after he cuts through the kelp with a machete, then gasps and sees SpongeBob, Patrick, and Squidward dirty]'' Do you folks need some help?}} | {{L|Kelp Forest Ranger|''[offscreen]'' Hello? Anyone there? Hello? Hello?! ''[reveals himself after he cuts through the kelp with a machete, then gasps and sees SpongeBob, Patrick, and Squidward dirty]'' Do you folks need some help?}} | ||
{{L|Squidward|''[gasps]'' I'm saved! ''[runs over to the forest ranger]'' You don't know how happy I am to see you | {{L|Squidward|''[gasps]'' I'm saved! ''[runs over to the forest ranger]'' You don't know how happy I am to see you! I have been stranded out here for weeks with these two barnacle heads and their Magic Conch Shell!}} | ||
{{L|Kelp Forest Ranger|Magic... Conch Shell? ''[pulls out a Magic Conch Shell]'' You mean like this? | {{L|Kelp Forest Ranger|Magic... Conch Shell? ''[pulls out a Magic Conch Shell]'' You mean like this? ''[says this while cross-eyed and having two big teeth]''}} | ||
{{L|SpongeBob and Patrick|''[jump but they stop in midair]'' The Magic Conch! A club member!}} | {{L|SpongeBob and Patrick|''[jump but they stop in midair]'' The Magic Conch! A club member!}} | ||
{{L|Kelp Forest Ranger|''[victory screech]''}} | {{L|Kelp Forest Ranger|''[victory screech]''}} | ||
{{L|SpongeBob and Patrick|''[victory screech]''}} | {{L|SpongeBob and Patrick|''[victory screech]''}} | ||
{{L|Squidward|''[dumbstruck]'' Abra.}} | {{L|Squidward|''[dumbstruck]'' Abra.}} | ||
{{L|Kelp Forest Ranger|My conch told me to come save you guys | {{L|Kelp Forest Ranger|My conch told me to come save you guys!}} | ||
{{L|SpongeBob, Patrick and Kelp Forest Ranger|Hooray for the magic conches!}} | {{L|SpongeBob, Patrick and Kelp Forest Ranger|Hooray for the magic conches!}} | ||
{{L|Kelp Forest Ranger|''[we see Squidward in the background looking unhappy]'' All right, Magic Conch... what do we do now?}} | {{L|Kelp Forest Ranger|''[we see Squidward in the background looking unhappy]'' All right, Magic Conch... what do we do now?}} | ||
{{L|Magic Conch|Nothing.}} | {{L|Magic Conch|Nothing.}} | ||
{{L|SpongeBob, Patrick, and Kelp Forest Ranger|All hail the Magic Conch! ''[sit down doing nothing, while Squidward, still dumbstruck, moves in between them]''}} | {{L|SpongeBob, Patrick, and Kelp Forest Ranger|All hail the Magic Conch! ''[sit down doing nothing, while Squidward, still dumbstruck, moves in between them]''}} | ||
{{L|Squidward|All hail the | {{L|Squidward|All hail the Magic Conch! ''[sits down with SpongeBob, Patrick, and the Kelp Forest Ranger]''}} | ||
[[es:El club de Bob Esponja (Transcripción)]] | [[es:El club de Bob Esponja (Transcripción)]] | ||
[[id:Club SpongeBob/transkrip]] | [[id:Club SpongeBob/transkrip]] | ||
[[Category:Transcripts]] | [[Category:Transcripts]] | ||
Revision as of 03:20, 13 June 2023
This article is a transcript of the SpongeBob SquarePants episode "Club SpongeBob" from season 3, which aired on July 12, 2002.
- [The episode starts with Squidward leaving his house on a bicycle while he hums a tune.]
- Squidward: There's my hat... and there's that, and here we go. [starts riding his bicycle to work and passes a tall piece of stalk with a treehouse on top of it with SpongeBob and Patrick in it]
- SpongeBob and Patrick: [giggling]
- SpongeBob: Wey, wook. It's Widward!
- Squidward: What?
- SpongeBob and Patrick: [laughs]
- SpongeBob: Widward's woing to work.
- SpongeBob and Patrick: [laughs]
- Squidward: [growls]
- Patrick: Where does he work? Wat the Wusty Wab?
- SpongeBob and Patrick: [laughs]
- Squidward: What's that supposed to be? Some kind of stupid secret code?
- SpongeBob: We can't tell you, 'cause you're not a member of the club.
- Squidward: Oh, yeah? What does it take to be a member, besides being a moron? [laughs] Moron... [laughs again] as a requirement. [laughs again]
- SpongeBob: Sorry, Squidward, but you couldn't get in even if you tried!
- Squidward: Huh? Well, I'll have you know that I am a member of over 20 different exclusive clubs all across the sea bottom!
- Patrick: [whispering to SpongeBob] What did he say?
- SpongeBob: [whispering to Patrick] I don't know, something about his nose?
- Patrick: [sticks his head out of the "Clubhouse" and talks to Squidward] Squidward, you and your nose will definitely not fit in!
- Squidward: Oh, what do you two zeros know about fitting in? [takes off his hat and starts to climb up the "Clubhouse"] Why, you should be begging me to join!
- SpongeBob and Patrick: Squidward! Squidward, no, no, no! Stop! No, no, no, stop, please, please! Stop, Squidward! You can't join! You can't join! Can't join! You can't get in!
- [Squidward grunts as he tries to get in the "Clubhouse"]
- Squidward: Well, this is stupid. There's no room up here!
- Patrick: That's what we've been trying to tell you!
- SpongeBob: We've been stuck up here for 3 days.
- Patrick: We told you you wouldn't fit in.
- Squidward: [sneers]
- SpongeBob: Well, since you're here, Squidward, we'll give you the new member initiation. Are you ready, Patrick?
- Patrick: Ready!
- SpongeBob and Patrick: [singing] Welcome to our club! Welcome to our club! Welcome Squidward! Welcome Squidward! Welcome Squidward! Welcome Squidward! Welcome Squid--
- Squidward: Shut your half-wit pieholes! [grabs a stalk beside the one holding up the "Clubhouse" and pulls it while the other one is going down] I do not now, nor will I ever, want to be a member of your stupid club! [gets to the floor but the stalk snaps and the stalk holding up the "Clubhouse" flings back very fast and the "Clubhouse" flies off it, then starts screaming]
- Nancy: Whoa!
- Frank: Make a wish, honey.
- [Squidward continues screaming. The "Clubhouse" falls into the Kelp Forest of seaweed.]
- SpongeBob and Patrick: Whoo-hoo! Whoo-hoo-hoo! Whoo! Whoo! Whoo! Whoo! Again! Oh, yeah! Again! [victory screech]
- Squidward: Oh, no! That didn't just happen! Please tell me that didn't happen!
- Patrick: What happened?
- [SpongeBob shrugs. Squidward runs around the "Clubhouse"]
- Squidward: Where are we? We're lost! There's no way out! Stuck... in the middle of nowhere... with SpongeBob and Patrick!
- [SpongeBob and Patrick wave at Squidward who starts crying.]
- Squidward: Oh, why must every 11 minutes of my life be filled with misery?! Why?!
- SpongeBob: Oh, cheer up, Squid, it could be worse.
- Patrick: Yeah, you could be bald and have a big nose.
- [The camera cuts to Squidward's big-nosed and bald head, which deflates.]
- Squidward: Well... this is the end. [head falls on the ground]
- SpongeBob: No, it's not, Squidward!
- Patrick: [building coffins] It's not?
- SpongeBob: Come on, guys, we're gonna be fine! [patting Squidward's head] As long as we stick together. Remember, we're a club!
- SpongeBob and Patrick: [they do the victory screech again]
- SpongeBob: And besides, we have this! [pulls out a conch shell]
- Squidward: What's that?
- Patrick: Oh! The Magic Conch Shell! Ask it something, ask it something!
- SpongeBob: Magic Conch Shell, will I ever get married? [pulls the string attached to the Magic Conch]
- Magic Conch: Maybe, someday.
- SpongeBob and Patrick: [giggling] Ooh!
- Squidward: You've got to be kidding! That is just a stupid toy! How can that possibly help us?!
- SpongeBob: [gasps] Squidward, we must never question the wisdom of the Magic Conch! The club always takes its advice before we do anything!
- Patrick: The shell knows all!
- SpongeBob: Oh, Magic Conch Shell. What do we need to do to get out of the Kelp Forest? [pulls the string attached to the Magic Conch]
- Magic Conch: Nothing.
- Patrick: The shell has spoken!
- Squidward: Nothing?! We can't just sit here and do nothing!
- [SpongeBob and Patrick are sitting down doing nothing]
- Squidward: [growls] I can't believe you two are gonna take advice from a toy!
- [SpongeBob and Patrick still do nothing]
- Squidward: [growls again] All right, all right, all right! I don't need your help. I'm gonna find my way back to sanity! [starts walking away in the Kelp Forest] But don't you two sad clowns come crying to me when your circus tent comes crashing down! Sad clowns... [laughs] sad... [laughs again] clowns. [laughs again. Later, he begins to run fast and grows scared and starts panting rapidly] What was that?! I was already here! Which way do I go?! Oh, I'm lost! [trips and falls] Oh... I'm hopelessly lost! I'll never get out of here! [sees light] Huh? [laughing. He goes toward the light] I'm free! Take that, SpongeBob and Patrick! [pumps fists in the air and starts laughing triumphantly but sees SpongeBob and Patrick] Huh? Oh... [falls on the ground] There's no way out of here. [scene cuts to SpongeBob and Patrick still doing nothing. A stick is thrown at Patrick's head. Squidward is putting a pan over a fire] How's it going over there at Club Shell-for-Brains? Mmm-mmm-mmm. I am hungry. I wonder what's on the menu for Club Squidward tonight? [spots a bug running around so he steps on it] Ah... [puts the bug on the pan and walks over to SpongeBob and waves the pan over his nose] Doesn't that smell good, SpongeBob? You haven't eaten in days. [walks over to Patrick] How about you, Patrick? A big boy's gotta eat. Well, you can't have any. [walks away from Patrick] And do you know why, SpongeBob? Because your club president is a shell! [shakes his butt in SpongeBob's face] If you had listened to me, you'd have food, shelter, and a roaring fire. But instead you listened to a talking clam... [moves back to Club Squidward] that tells you nothing! [stirs the pan] As if the answers to all your problems will fall right out of the sky! [laughs] Fall right out of the sky! [camera switches to an airplane falling out of the sky]
- Scooter: Dude, we're falling right out of the sky! We gotta drop the load! [presses the "Drop the Load" button. The airplane drops picnic supplies to where SpongeBob and Patrick are]
- SpongeBob and Patrick: Praise the Magic Conch! [victory screech. Squidward stares shockingly. The bug gets up, hits him with the stick, and runs off. SpongeBob and Patrick eat. SpongeBob eats two hamburgers. Patrick eating a whole turkey in one bite. Now, when SpongeBob and Patrick are drinking, SpongeBob is drinking a can of soda and Patrick is drinking a bottle of ketchup. They laugh and Squidward goes to them]
- Squidward: Uh, hey, uh, SpongeBob... that sure is a lot of food you got there.
- SpongeBob: It's a gift from the Magic Conch.
- Squidward: Everything sure looks delicious! [gasps] Oh! Smoked sausages, my favorite! [smells them but Patrick sucks them in and Squidward's nose too. He pulls his nose out] Uh, hey, uh, [laughs] SpongeBob, I... you know, I was just kidding around earlier and I mean, I'm... I'm still part of the club, right? And... and-and-and-and after all, the club's gotta stick together, and I mean... you know, I, um... [stammers; While he is saying all this, SpongeBob is eating a cookie and is drinking a glass of orange juice]
- SpongeBob: Squidward?
- Squidward: Um... uh... yeah?
- SpongeBob: Once a member, always a member!
- SpongeBob and Patrick: [clink glasses] To the club! [victory screech]
- Squidward: Uh, yeah. [mimics the victory screech, weakly] Now, uh, if you'll excuse me... [runs to the table with all the food] What shall I eat first? The spaghetti, the turkey, the soup, the canned meat?
- SpongeBob: Why don't you ask... the Magic Conch, Squidward?
- Squidward: Oh, yeah, like that'll happen. Right after I consult the Magic Toenail.
- [Squidward prepares to eat but SpongeBob and Patrick pull the table away and block it.]
- SpongeBob: [gasps] Squidward, are you questioning the authority of the Magic Conch? The conch is the one who gave us this banquet! This copyrighted conch is the cornerstone of our organization!
- Patrick: [whispering] Maybe he's not a brother.
- [SpongeBob looks at Squidward wide-eyed.]
- Squidward: [chuckles] Hey, you guys have it all wrong. I love this, uh, piece of plastic. [takes the Magic Conch from SpongeBob] Uh, hello there. Magic Conch, uh, I was wondering... uh, should I have the spaghetti or the turkey?
- Magic Conch: Neither.
- Squidward: Oh, then how about the soup?
- Magic Conch: I don't think so.
- Squidward: [becomes annoyed] Could I have anything to eat?
- Magic Conch: No.
- Squidward: No?! What do you mean no?! I'm starving here!
- Patrick: [takes the Magic Conch] Here, let me try! Magic Conch, could Squidward have some of this yummy, delicious, super-terrific sandwich?
- Magic Conch: No.
- Patrick: Hmm... [happily] Could I have this yummy, delicious, super-terrific sandwich?
- Magic Conch: Yes.
- Patrick: All right! [vacuums in the sandwich and burps] Sorry, Squidward.
- Squidward: Give me that! [grabs the Magic Conch] Could I have something to eat?!
- Magic Conch: No.
- Squidward: Could I have something to eat?!
- Magic Conch: No.
- Squidward: Could I have something to eat?!
- Magic Conch: No.
- Squidward: Can't you say anything else but no?!
- Magic Conch: Try asking again.
- Squidward: [asks excitedly with a grin on his face] Can I have something to eat?
- Magic Conch: [in a very insulting, sarcastic-like tone] No.
- [Squidward grits his teeth and grows enraged, stammering out of control.]
- SpongeBob: Squidward, are you all right?
- [Squidward shakes his head uncontrollably.]
- Patrick: Maybe we should ask the shell if he's okay.
- Kelp Forest Ranger: [offscreen] Hello? Anyone there? Hello? Hello?! [reveals himself after he cuts through the kelp with a machete, then gasps and sees SpongeBob, Patrick, and Squidward dirty] Do you folks need some help?
- Squidward: [gasps] I'm saved! [runs over to the forest ranger] You don't know how happy I am to see you! I have been stranded out here for weeks with these two barnacle heads and their Magic Conch Shell!
- Kelp Forest Ranger: Magic... Conch Shell? [pulls out a Magic Conch Shell] You mean like this? [says this while cross-eyed and having two big teeth]
- SpongeBob and Patrick: [jump but they stop in midair] The Magic Conch! A club member!
- Kelp Forest Ranger: [victory screech]
- SpongeBob and Patrick: [victory screech]
- Squidward: [dumbstruck] Abra.
- Kelp Forest Ranger: My conch told me to come save you guys!
- SpongeBob, Patrick and Kelp Forest Ranger: Hooray for the magic conches!
- Kelp Forest Ranger: [we see Squidward in the background looking unhappy] All right, Magic Conch... what do we do now?
- Magic Conch: Nothing.
- SpongeBob, Patrick, and Kelp Forest Ranger: All hail the Magic Conch! [sit down doing nothing, while Squidward, still dumbstruck, moves in between them]
- Squidward: All hail the Magic Conch! [sits down with SpongeBob, Patrick, and the Kelp Forest Ranger]
es:El club de Bob Esponja (Transcripción) id:Club SpongeBob/transkrip