Dirty Bubble Returns/transcript

• [Pans screen to the right, to reveal what appears to be a walking stack of frozen Krabby Patties coming out of the freezer.]
• Clean Bubble: Ah?
• [SpongeBob removes all the frozen Krabby Patties from himself and places them onto the grill]
• SpongeBob: Yeah. [shivers] Brr! Is there a blizzard coming in, 'cause I've got a cold front. [laughs]
• Clean Bubble: [laughs with SpongeBob]
• SpongeBob: Oh, hi! I didn't see you there, you must be the new dishwasher. Welcome aboard! I'm SpongeBob.
• Clean Bubble: Hi, SpongeBob, I'm, uh... DB, uh... DB.
• SpongeBob: Oh, we're gonna have so much fun, DB. [gasps] We'll be daily pallies!
• [Squidward rings the desk bell multiple times]
• SpongeBob: Whoops. [grabs spatula from his hat] Back to work! [flips patties while singing to self]
• Clean Bubble: [shudders] Keep it clean, or you'll get mean. [cleaning a dirty dish] Keep it clean, or you'll get mean!
• [Dish is sparkling clean. Clean Bubble gasps.]
• Clean Bubble: Huh. Hey, I did it! I got dirty and I didn't turn evil! Oh, I must be cured!
• [Clean Bubble continuously cleans the dirty dishes with his body, while beginning to turn evil.]
• Clean Bubble: Wiping up filth, wiping clean every crack! [transforms to the Dirty Bubble]
• Dirty Bubble: I'm the Dirty Bubble, and, baby, I'm back! [evil laugh]
• SpongeBob: Oh, what can I get you, Dirty Bubble? [Whistles while flipping a patty. Suddenly turns back surprised. Screams.]
• Dirty Bubble: [evilly laughs]
• SpongeBob: Dirty Bubble! Where's that nice DB? What did you do to him, you super filthy supervillain?
• Dirty Bubble: [evilly laughs at SpongeBob's face]
• [Dirty Bubble gets closer to SpongeBob. SpongeBob threatens to spray at him with the sink hose]
• SpongeBob: What did you do with DB? [Sobs. Looks at the newly transformed Clean Bubble.]
• [Clean Bubble glows and smiles]
• SpongeBob: DB is short for Dirty Bubble, isn't it?
• Clean Bubble: Yes, SpongeBob, it's me. I'm trying to change my evil ways and stay clean.
• SpongeBob: Wow, a supervillain intervention! I'll help you, DB. I'll make sure you stay squeaky clean and dirt-free! [offers a handshake]
• [Clean Bubble happily offers a handshake]
• Mr. Krabs: [comes from the right with an electric fan, blowing away the Clean Bubble and SpongeBob] Attention, Mr. Bubble, I've got another job for ya!
• [Transitions to Mr. Krabs and the Clean Bubble at the bathroom]
• Mr. Krabs: Now, this new job is very exclusive and very French.
• Clean Bubble: Hmm? Ooh-la-la! [smiles]
• Mr. Krabs: [kicks open a filthy toilet] Eau de Toilette!
• Clean Bubble: [gasps] Oh, sacre pee-yew! [frowns in worried disgust]
• Mr. Krabs: [pointing at him] Make it sparkle! [pulls up pants, and walks off, humming]
• [SpongeBob peeks out from the bathroom]
• SpongeBob: Okay, he's gone. Don't worry about those toilets, DB. [grabs a toilet scrubber from his hat] I will clean them for you. Taupe sweet, mon ami. [laughs]
• [Clean Bubble enthusiastically flushes the closest toilet. His eyes hallucinate.]
• Clean Bubble: Dirt, dirt! Beautiful dirt! [goes into the toilet]
• SpongeBob: Zut alors! [checks toilet] DB? [Peeks into toilet, and gasps as the Dirty Bubble gradually comes out. Runs off from toilet cubicle] Incoming!
• Dirty Bubble: [Evil laughs. Repeatedly sings "Alouette" into each toilet, and shoves customers down the toilet.]
• Fred: [Screams while running away]
• Dirty Bubble: Pow! Hold onto your certy, here comes the dirty!
• [SpongeBob hoses down the Dirty Bubble with absorbed sink water. The Clean Bubble is transformed back.]
• Clean Bubble: Thanks for keeping me clean, SpongeBob! [laughs]
• SpongeBob: Don't worry, DB. We just needed to wash away that stinkin' thinkin'!
• [Transitions to a reveal a comic book named "Dirty Bubble Returns!"]
• Elaine: For weeks, SpongeBob worked with DB to stay clean and good!
• [Moves from a comic frame with Dirty Bubble stealing Patrick's chocolate-coated strawberry ice-cream to SpongeBob hosing down on the Dirty Bubble into the Clean Bubble with a spray bottle.
• [Dirty Bubble then appears in a comic frame where he has appeared in a laundromat, but SpongeBob grabs him and places him into the dishwasher while Old Man Jenkins still has clean washed clothes.]
• [The Dirty Bubble appears yet again in another comic frame where he spits out a fountain of mud onto a bus "White Suit Society" while the fish of the bus scream and panic. SpongeBob comes in surfing and washes the Dirty Bubble down. The Clean Bubble comes on the surfboard]
• [Transition to the Krusty Krab. Squidward is sleeping at the cash register area, while SpongeBob mops the floor. The Clean Bubble comes in to serve a tray of three Krabby Patties and two drinks, while whistling.]
• Clean Bubble: [serves the tray to the family of customers] Enjoy those patties! [laughs]
• SpongeBob: Well, DB, looks like you're cured. You haven't been dirty in weeks!
• Clean Bubble: Thanks to you, SpongeBob, I'll never be dirty again! [laughs]
• Patrick: Speaking of dirty... [Picks his belly button to reveal bellybutton gunk. Patrick stares at it menacingly, and flicks it off.] Ew.
• [Bellybutton gunk lands on the Clean Bubble. The gunk spreads around him. The gunk finally cracks open to reveal the Dirty Bubble]
• Dirty Bubble: [laughs evilly] You want me clean, but I ain't willing! I've gotta be me, by being a villain! [Evilly laughs. Looks left and right, then moves out to the left]
• Patrick: [sheds a tear] Aww... That's nice. He found his rainbow!
• SpongeBob: [surprised face] Uh-oh. [nervous face]
• [At a news report of Dirty Bubble]
• Elaine: The Dirty Bubble has been seen everywhere, defiling dozens of decent denizens with dirty deeds!
• [Two kids play with mud. The Dirty Bubble sucks up everything in the mud pit including the mud and kids. He spits out the kids clean.]
• Girl and boy: Clean? [looks at each other and cries]
• [At the cabin of an abandoned ship named "The Buccaneer," surrounded by a number of landmines]
• Pirate: So I said to the scalawag, "Listen here, you–" [The Dirty Bubble cleans him, transforming him into a chubby sailor.]
• Chubby sailor: It's time to have tea and cakes!
• Sailor #1: Get him! [everyone punches the chubby sailor]
• [The Dirty Bubble comes towards a poorly maintained building. The family of three run out of the building. He cleans the entire building.]
• Family of three: Yay!
• [Dirty Bubble smashes building from top to bottom and laughs.]
• Family of three: [disappointed] Aww.
• [At the school "Poseidon Elementary"]
• Old teacher: Yes, Billy, 2 plus 2 still equals 4.
• [The Dirty Bubble comes and wipes out the old teacher's face]
• Old teacher: [muffled] Rumpy rumpkins. [rubs face and mumbles]
• Perch Perkins: Breaking news, the Dirty Bubble just wiped all the teacher's dirty looks right off their faces! Who will be next?
• Dirty Bubble: [comes up to Perch Perkins and rubs off his face] No more pimples, no more bumps, no more news guy's dirty looks! [evil laugh, kisses Perkin's face to reveal an inverted face]
• Perch Perkins: Hello– Urrgh, that got in my mouth!
• [Dirty Bubble kicks out Perkins]
• Dirty Bubble: [evil laughs, but gets hosed] Oh!
• SpongeBob: Sorry, old chum, but from now on, you're gonna have to stay clean for good!
• [The Dirty Bubble's grime is shown not to be wiped out]
• Dirty Bubble: Be gone, hygiene. I'm too big to stay clean! [follows toward the hose while eating the water, then sucks up the entire hose and fire hydrant]
• SpongeBob: [panicking sounds]
• [The Dirty Bubble spits out five miniature versions of the Dirty Bubble]
• SpongeBob: [more panicking sounds]
• Dirty Bubble: [Evil laugh]
• [Mini Dirty Bubbles bite SpongeBob]
• SpongeBob: [grabs spatula] It's on, now! [pops four of five miniature Dirty Bubbles with his spatula. Stomps on the final miniature Dirty Bubble]
• [Dirty Bubble looks stumped. SpongeBob launches toward the Dirty Bubble, but bounces off. Dirty Bubble chases after SpongeBob.]
• Dirty Bubble: [evil laughs as he chases SpongeBob]
• SpongeBob: [continually banging against the walls of the Dirty Bubble] Help, help, call the cops, call Mr. Krabs, call my mommy!
• [Dirty Bubble looks to his right, and goes to Goo Lagoon. He rips through the sign. Shows a few kids playing in Goo Lagoon, while two unaware fish lay back on separate towels underneath an umbrella.]
• Dirty Bubble: I think, for dessert, I'll eat more dirt! [laughs evilly]
• SpongeBob: Not Goo Lagoon!
• [Dirty Bubble sucks up Goo Lagoon]
• SpongeBob: [grabs out paper and pencil to write quickly his last words] Thank you, my beloved pet Gary, thank you, my big pineapple, and my toolshed, and my mailbox, and Patrick! [Sobs as the dirt level increasingly gets higher and higher. Starts absorbing all the dirt.] Uh, what? Wow. Sometimes I just forget how absorbent I am. [proceeds to spin around inside like clothes in a side-loader washing machine]
• Dirty Bubble: Wait, what? Ow, just... stop spinning, you sponge! You're stealing my grunge! [slowly shrinks, stammering] Stop that rhyme! [screams as he is absorbed by SpongeBob]
• [SpongeBob falls into Goo Lagoon's seabed. Burps out an shrunken version of the Dirty Bubble.]
• Dirty Bubble: [high pitched] I may be a squirt, but I'm still full of dirt! [evil laughs]
• SpongeBob: Aww, little mini DB is so cute!
• [Dirty Bubble spits dirt onto SpongeBob's eyelid. Officer Johnson catches Dirty Bubble and puts him into a jar held by lady officer]
• Lady officer: We got him!
• SpongeBob: Every time I wash dishes, I will think of you.
• Dirty Bubble: Hmph. Every time I have nightmares, I'll think of you, too! [complaining noises]
• Lady officer: Thank you, citizen. We'll take it from here.
• SpongeBob: [Pretends to be the Dirty Bubble] It was a dirty job, but somebody had to do it. [evil laugh]
• [Police officers gasp]
• SpongeBob: Just kidding! [laughs]
• [Police officers laugh with him. SpongeBob suddenly feels the urge to sneeze, splattering goo all over the place.]
• Police officers: [angrily] Gesundheit!
• SpongeBob: Thank you! [looks at lady officer] You got some schmutz under there. [Wipes off goo from her face. Grabs out a tissue and laughs.]
• [Screen transitions to a circular black fadeout.]