Backpay Payback/transcript

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This article is a transcript of the The Patrick Star Show episode "Backpay Payback/transcript" from season , which aired on .

• [The episode begins with Squidward delivering newspapers to homes throughout the neighborhood.]
• Squidward: La da dee, la da dum... [humming. He arrives at a resident's house and rings the doorbell] Delivering the newspaper, ya-ta-ta-ta! [hands the newspaper to the resident]
• Resident #1: [hands the tip to Squidward in return] Thanks, Squidward!
• Squidward: [receives the tip while walking away] Picking up the cash, ya-ta-ta-ta!
• Resident #1: [opens the paper and the confetti comes out] Ooh, he remembered my birthday!
• [Squidward tosses a newspaper to the head of another resident, who is watering his front yard.]
• Resident #2: [flicks the tip] Thank you, Squidward!
• Squidward: [catches the second resident's tip as tosses another paper] Looking really cool... [in his shades]
• Resident #3: [catches the paper and flicks the tip] Thanks, Squidward!
• Squidward: [catches the third resident's tip, does some pirouettes, and backward tosses another newspaper between his tentacle legs] Ya-ta-ta-ta!
• Resident #4: Ha! [catches the paper and reads the headlines] Trouble in Shell City? [dresses as a superhero and flicks the tip to Squidward as he glides away] Thanks, Squidward!
• Squidward: [as the guard worm barks at him] Walking down the street, ya-ta-ta-ta! [freaks out as the guard worm lands on top of him, gives him the tip, and kisses his nose. Squidward delivers the newspaper in return] Worm kissed my nose, ya-ta-ta-ta! [approaching the Star Family home] This guy never pays, ya-ta-ta-ta. [rings the doorbell]
• Cecil: Oh boy! A newspaper for me?
• Squidward: Huh?
• Cecil: Thanks, paper boy! [takes the newspaper]
• Squidward: You still owe me cash! Ya-ta-ta-ta!
• Cecil: I'll hit you back! Ya-ta-ta-ta!
• Squidward: [tries entering the Star Family house door but Cecil cuts his two tentacles, causing him to steam. He then tries to enter the window, but Cecil cuts his left arm. He then tries entering the Star Family house door again, but Cecil cuts his two other tentacles] Aha. [Cecil opens a window so then Squidward would be able to enter but then gets his head cut off] Typical. [Cecil returns the rest of Squidward's body parts, through the front door mail slot, to him] Huh?
• Cecil: [peeking through the mail slot] I've already seen these sections.
• [Squidward sighs then uses his tongue to slowly drag his head, along with his unattached body parts, forward. His granny alerts him.]
• Granny Tentacles: Squidward! [his body parts are attached, and Squidward connects his head to his normal position]
• Squidward: Huh?
• Granny Tentacles: [at her home entrance door] Come on, hurry up!
• Cecil: [peeks at Squidward, taps the window, and waves at him] Hi!
• GrandPat: I think I have an idea.
• Patrick: [laughs]
• Patrick: Touchdown!
• Patrick: I won!