Band Geeks

Template:Episode "Band Geeks" is a SpongeBob SquarePants episode from season two. It is widely considered to be one of the best, if not THE best episode of the series.

Brief summary: After Squidward gets a call from his old high school classmate and rival, Squilliam Fancyson, he has to present a competing band to play at the Bubble Bowl. The only problem is, he doesn't have a band.

Time cards shown:

• Day Two
• Day Three
• Day Four

Characters Present:

• Squidward Tentacles
• Squilliam Fancyson
• SpongeBob SquarePants
• Patrick Star
• Sandy Cheeks
• Eugene Krabs
• Sheldon J. Plankton
• Larry
• Mrs. Puff
• Evelyn
• Nancy Suzy Fish
• Fred
• Pearl Krabs
• Humans
• Doctors
• Harold
• Martha Smith

Songs:

• "Semper Fidelis" (the band tries, badly, to play it during the marching practice)
• "Taps" (played after the flag twirlers' demise)
• Sweet Victory

Plot

Squidward gets a call from his high school classmate, Squilliam Fancyson, who is very successful and has succeeded in everything that Squidward failed in. He asks Squidward for his band to substitute for his own at the Bubble Bowl (a parody of football events such as the Super Bowl), believing (correctly) that he does not have one, However, Squidward gets caught in the moment and accepts the offer. He assembles a large marching band, comprised of various Bikini Bottomites, including all the other main characters. During their one week of training, the band performs consistently badly and fails to improve at all. On day two, while practicing a march, two flag twirlers are killed when they fly into the air and crash into a blimp, as result of them spinning too fast, at Squidward's demand. They all Mourn, except for Squidward, who just collapses to the ground.

On the last day of practice, a large fight ensues among the band members, which lasts until the end of class. At this time, a grieving Squidward expresses his disappointment in all of them and goes home to grieve over his failure. However, Spongebob convinces them to go through with the performance for Squidward's sake, and takes command of their training.

On the day of the concert, Squilliam shows up to see Squidward's failure, and he claims that his band died. However, Squidward's band shows up and he is forced to go through with the performance. They enter a large glass dome, which rises up and takes them to a live-action football field, complete with human fans. Squidward turns his head away from the band before they begin, assuming that the performance will be a disaster, but the band is successful, playing a rock ballad. Squilliam goes into a state of shock and faints from a heart attack, leaving Squidward to celebrate his "Sweet Victory".

Trivia/Goofs

• This is the first time Squidward is unanimously victorious at the end of the episode. This wouldn't happen again until "House Fancy".
• The song used in this episode, Sweet Victory, was performed by David Glen Eisley of the 1980s heavy metal band, Giuffria.
• When everyone in the room is saying "blah, blah, blah," SpongeBob and Patrick are sitting next to each other. However, when Patrick asks if mayonnaise is an instrument, he is sitting next to Sandy. The only way this is possible is if SpongeBob was next to Patrick on his other side, but when Mr. Krabs asks when they get the free food, Sandy is on one side of the room (viewers' left) in the front row and SpongeBob is on the other side (viewers' right) in the center row.
• When Squidward leaves the Rec center for the final time, he says "I'll tell them you just died in a marching accident." Ironically, two people actually did die in a marching accident.
• The German title of the episode, "Hör mal, wer da spielt" (roughly translated: "Listen, who's playing"), is probably an allusion to the German title of Home Improvement, which is "Hör mal, wer da hämmert" (roughly translated: "Listen, who's hammering").
• When Patrick gets his neck squeezed into the bell of a trombone after he kicks Sandy, he sits down and the slide automatically moves up, which is impossible; the slide can only move downward without actually moving it manually. Then, as the slide comes closer to the mouthpiece, the note gets lower, which is also impossible, as the note should move higher.
• It is stated that Larry's heart once gave out from too many tanning pills.
• Nicktoons in the UK aired the "Sweet Victory" scene on a continuous loop for a few days after Telewest decided to include them in their cable packages again.
• Throughout the scenes of the rehearsals, the characters constantly change instruments. For example, SpongeBob (on the first day) plays the drums. Then (on day four) he plays the trumpet. Also, Mr. Krabs and Mrs. Puff on the first day play the concertina (Mr. Krabs) and the clarinet (Mrs. Puff). On the fourth day, they both play the cymbals.
• When Squidward asks the brass section to repeat after him, Pearl is seen with a saxophone. Although it is a woodwind instrument, it is often placed with the brass in marching bands. This is because the part for the tenor saxophone is usually shared with a euphonium or baritone.
• In the Bahasa Malaysia version of this episode, the french narrator and the announcer in the stadium are not heard.
• During the Nicktoons Superstuffed Weekend during Thanksgiving 2007, the song "Sweet Victory" named as the #1 Nicktoon moment of all time.
• The flyer for Squidward's band says:

    Read This:

Looking to add fulfillment to your dull, dull life? Then become a part of the musical sensation ever to hit Bikini Bottom and be forever adored by thousands of people you don'tknow. Not to mention - free refreshments! Practice begins tonight, 8:30 sharp.

• The Bubble Bowl seems to be a Jets-Giants game, but they have never played against each other in the Super Bowl. (But they usually play against each other in the regular season.)
• On the Day 3 time card, the background is the same exact one used for the "I Was a Teenage Gary" title card.
• One of the flag twirlers who died on Day 2 appears on Day 4 saying "Hey, class is over".
• SpongeBob, Patrick, and Mr. Krabs mistake the people in the stadium for ugly looking mutated fish since they have never seen humans before.
• In the beginning of the episode, when Squilliam calls Squidward, Squilliam tells Squidward that he is busy, and can't make it. But, at the end of the episode, Squilliam shows up to watch Squidward humiliate himself.
• Patrick states there's a white sedan in the parking lot, but the cars are boats.
• When Squidward asks if anyone had any experience, everyone says "No", but in the Season 1 episode "Texas", Sandy played the guitar.
• The title card is the same as A Life in a Day.

Quotes

• (Squidward is playing his clarinet, doorbell rings)

Doctor: Yeah, uh, we're with the pet hospital down the street, and I understand you have a dying animal on the premises. (slams door)

• [At band class]

Squidward: Let's just try stepping in rhythm. Now, I want everyone to line up in straight rows of five.

SpongeBob: Is this the part where we start kicking?

Squidward: No SpongeBob, that's a chorus line.

Patrick: Kicking? Oh, I wanna do some kicking! [Kicks Sandy]

Sandy: Ow! Why you...! Why I oughta...! [Sandy begins beating Patrick up. The fight tumbles outside]

Patrick: AAAAAAAAAH! [awkward silence, then Patrick pokes his head through the door] Whoever's the owner of the White Sedan, you left your lights on. [Patrick walks through the doors. Revealing that he has a trombone for a neck. The instrument plays a note at every footstep Patrick takes. When Patrick sits down, the trombone plays a long, low note along with Patrick opening his mouth to make the sound]

• Squidward: People, people, settle down. OK, now, how many of you have played musical instruments before?

Plankton: Do instruments of torture count?

Squidward: No.

Patrick: Is mayonnaise an instrument?

Squidward: No Patrick, Mayonnaise is not an instrument. [Patrick raises his hand]

Squidward: Horseradish is not an instrument either. [Patrick lowers his hand]

• Squidward: Now the drums! [SpongeBob and two fish have their drumsticks in their mouths. They blow, which shoots the drumsticks in Squidward's direction, pinning him to the wall]

Squidward: Too bad that didn't kill me.

• Squidward: I have a theory, people talk loud when they wanna act smart, right?

Plankton: (shouts) CORRECT!

Squidward: So, if we play loud, people might think we're good! Everybody ready! A-one a-two a-one two three four! (The band plays really loud, blowing out the windows of the building, and sound worse than before)

Squidward: (Squidward's face is blown back by the force, baton breaks in half) Okay, New theory. Maybe we should play so quietly nobody can hear us.

Harold: Well maybe we wouldn't sound so bad if some people didn't try to play with big meaty claws!

Mr. Krabs: What did you say, punk?

Harold: Big, meaty, CLAWS!

Mr. Krabs: Well these claws ain't for just attracting mates!

Harold: Bring it on old man! Bring it on!

SpongeBob: No, people. Let's be smart and bring it off.

Nancy: Oh! So now the talking cheese is gonna preach to us!

• [Outside the Bubble Bowl]

Squidward: I knew this was going happen. They're just gonna have to find another band to play. I just hope that [Spots Squilliam] SQUILLIAM DOESN'T FIND OUT! SQUILLIAM!!!! AAAAAAAAAAUUGH!!!!!!!!! What are you doing here?

Squilliam: I just came to see you blow it. So, where's your band?

Squidward: They couldn't come they...died.

Squilliam: Then who's that?

Squidward: [sees fancy band] AHHHHHHHH! THAT WOULD BE MY BAND!

SpongeBob: We're ready to perform Squidward.

Squilliam: Well Squiddy, this is exactly how I pictured your band would look. [SpongeBob's waving his hands back and forth along with his tongue]

Squidward: That's his...eager face.

• [At the Bubble Bowl, looking at the humans]

Patrick: These are some ugly looking fish.

SpongeBob: Maybe we're near one of those toxic waste dumps.

Mr. Krabs: I think I'm gonna be sick!

• [After first talking with Squilliam at his house]

Squidward: I've got to drum up a marching band fast...heh, drum. Band humor.

(driving to band class)

• Squidward: Stupid music rental clerk made me late! That trilobite didn't know an oboe from an elbow! Heh heh heh...More band humor.

• Crowd: Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah!(repeated line)

• Squidward: Brass section! Go! [some fish with brass instruments repeat his notes for five times] Good! Now,the drums! [Sponge and two other fish try to blow on the drumsticks to make noise for eight times. They fly out of their mouths and hit Squid, two on his shirt and one under his arm, pinning him to the wall.] Too bad that didn't kill me. (Fades out, too bad indeed for Squidward anyway.)

• (phone rings)

Squidward: Hello. You've reached the house of unrecognized talent. Please start after the (blows clarinet).

Squilliam: Sounds as though you've got a dying animal to attend to, eh, old chum?

Squidward: (gasp) Sqilliam Fancyson from band class?

Squilliam: I hear you're playing the cash register, now.

Squidward: Um, sometimes. How's the unibrow?

Squilliam: It's big and valuable. I'm the leader of a big fancy band, now. And we're supposed to play the bubble bowl next week.

Squidward: The bu-bu-bu-? The bu-bu-bu-? The bu-bu-bu-?

Squilliam: That's right! I'm living your dreams, Squidward. The problem is, I'm busy and can't make it. So, I was hoping you and your band could cover for me.

Squidward: Uh... Uh, Ummm...

Squilliam: I knew it! You don't even have a band! Well, I'll just let you get back to the service industry, now.

Squidward: HOLD IT! It just so matters that I DON'T sell fast food, I DO have a band, and we're going to play that bubble bowl! How do you like that, fancy boy?

Squilliam: Good luck next Tuesday. I hope the audience brings lots of ibuprofen! (hangs up)