Band Geeks/transcript: Difference between revisions
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{{L|Squidward|Hold it! It just so happens that I ''don't'' sell fast food, I ''do'' have a band, and we're gonna play that Bubble Bowl! How do you like that, Fancy Boy?!}} | {{L|Squidward|Hold it! It just so happens that I ''don't'' sell fast food, I ''do'' have a band, and we're gonna play that Bubble Bowl! How do you like that, Fancy Boy?!}} | ||
{{L|Squilliam|Good luck next Tuesday. I hope the audience brings lots of... ibuprofen!}} | {{L|Squilliam|Good luck next Tuesday. I hope the audience brings lots of... ibuprofen!}} | ||
{{L|''[Squilliam and Squidward hang up phone.]''}} | {{L|''[Squilliam and Squidward hang up the phone.]''}} | ||
{{L|Squidward|I gotta drum up a marching band fast! Drum... haha... band humor.}} | {{L|Squidward|I gotta drum up a marching band fast! Drum... haha... band humor.}} | ||
{{L|''[In the following lines, Sandy, Plankton, Mrs. Puff, Mr. Krabs, and Larry are reading from a poster. Each are in different locations.]''}} | {{L|''[In the following lines, Sandy, Plankton, Mrs. Puff, Mr. Krabs, and Larry are reading from a poster. Each are in different locations.]''}} | ||
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{{L|''[Squidward looks at his watch while driving a shell cart]''}} | {{L|''[Squidward looks at his watch while driving a shell cart]''}} | ||
{{L|Squidward|Stupid music rental clerk made me late. That trilobite didn't know an oboe from an elbow. Elbow, heh, more band humor.}} | {{L|Squidward|Stupid music rental clerk made me late. That trilobite didn't know an oboe from an elbow. Elbow, heh, more band humor.}} | ||
{{L|''[The scene cuts to inside the room, everyone is there.]''}} | {{L|''[The scene cuts to inside the room, where everyone is there.]''}} | ||
{{L|All|Blah, blah, blah, blah...}} | {{L|All|Blah, blah, blah, blah...}} | ||
{{L|Squidward|People, people, settle down! Ok, now. How many of you have played musical instruments before?}} | {{L|Squidward|People, people, settle down! Ok, now. How many of you have played musical instruments before?}} | ||
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{{L|Patrick|Kicking? I wanna do some kicking! ''[Patrick kicks Sandy in the leg]''}} | {{L|Patrick|Kicking? I wanna do some kicking! ''[Patrick kicks Sandy in the leg]''}} | ||
{{L|Sandy|Ow! Why, you...! Why I oughta...! ''[she jumps on Patrick and starts fighting him until they roll outside and the doors slam shut]''}} | {{L|Sandy|Ow! Why, you...! Why I oughta...! ''[she jumps on Patrick and starts fighting him until they roll outside and the doors slam shut]''}} | ||
{{L|Patrick| ''[Makes a very long painful scream.]'' ''[Everyone pauses and | {{L|Patrick| ''[Makes a very long painful scream.]'' ''[Everyone pauses and stare at the door, then Patrick sticks his head back in]'' Whoever is the owner of the white sedan, you left your lights on.}} | ||
{{L|''[Patrick walks in and it is revealed that Sandy has stuck his body in a trombone. Trombone notes are heard as he walks towards his seat. As he sits down, he makes a sound | {{L|''[Patrick walks in and it is revealed that Sandy has stuck his body in a trombone. Trombone notes are heard as he walks towards his seat. As he sits down, he makes a sound on his trombone. Makes a loud trombone noise as he opens his mouth. Stares at himself.]''}} | ||
{{L|Narrator|Day two.}} | {{L|Narrator|Day two.}} | ||
{{L|''[The scene shows the band walking down a street playing Semper Fidelis, badly.]''}} | {{L|''[The scene shows the band walking down a street playing Semper Fidelis, badly.]''}} | ||
{{L|Squidward|Okay, that's perfect everybody. Bubble Bowl here we come. Flag twirlers, really spin those things. Okay, turn. Flag twirlers, let's go. I wanna see some spinning. Flag twirlers let's move! C'mon, move!}} | {{L|Squidward|Okay, that's perfect everybody. Bubble Bowl here we come. Flag twirlers, really spin those things. Okay, turn. Flag twirlers, let's go. I wanna see some spinning. Flag twirlers let's move! C'mon, move!}} | ||
{{L|''[The flag twirlers spin so hard that they take off into the sky and crash into a blimp, which causes an explosion. | {{L|''[The flag twirlers spin so hard that they take off into the sky and crash into a blimp, which causes an explosion. A trumpet player plays taps while everyone mourns, except Squidward, who just lies down on the ground.]''}} | ||
{{L|Narrator|Day three.}} | {{L|Narrator|Day three.}} | ||
{{L|Squidward|How's that harmonica solo coming Plankton?}} | {{L|Squidward|How's that harmonica solo coming Plankton?}} | ||
{{L|Plankton|It's tremendous, you wanna see?}} | {{L|Plankton|It's tremendous, you wanna see?}} | ||
{{L|''[Plankton plays the harmonica by running to and from holes, but soon runs out of breath; on his way to the last hole he blows an unsuccessful last raspberry into the harmonica and faints.]''}} | {{L|''[Plankton plays the harmonica by running to and from the holes quickly, but soon runs out of breath; on his way to the last hole he blows an unsuccessful last raspberry into the harmonica and faints.]''}} | ||
{{L|Narrator|Day four.}} | {{L|Narrator|Day four.}} | ||
{{L|Squidward|Well, this is our last night together before the show. And I know that none of you improved since we began... ''[Patrick chews on a trumpet]'' ...but I have a theory. People talk loud when they wanna act smart, right?}} | {{L|Squidward|Well, this is our last night together before the show. And I know that none of you improved since we began... ''[Patrick chews on a trumpet]'' ...but I have a theory. People talk loud when they wanna act smart, right?}} | ||
{{L|Plankton|''[loudly]'' Correct!}} | {{L|Plankton|''[loudly]'' Correct!}} | ||
{{L|Squidward|So, if we play loud, people might think we're good. Everybody ready? And a one, and a two, and a one, two, three, four! ''[screen cuts to the outside of the music school and a blast of noise ensues, breaking the windows. Cuts back inside music school, where Squidward's face is deformed beyond recognition, his shirt's been ripped and his baton breaks]'' OK, new theory. Maybe we should play so quietly, no one can hear us.}} | {{L|Squidward|So, if we play loud, people might think we're good. Everybody ready? And a one, and a two, and a one, two, three, four! ''[screen cuts to the outside of the music school and a blast of noise ensues, breaking the windows. Cuts back inside the music school, where Squidward's face is deformed beyond recognition, his shirt's been ripped, and his baton breaks]'' OK, new theory. Maybe we should play so quietly, no one can hear us.}} | ||
{{L|Harold|Well, maybe we wouldn't sound so bad if some people didn't try to play with big, meaty claws!}} | {{L|Harold|Well, maybe we wouldn't sound so bad if some people didn't try to play with big, meaty claws!}} | ||
{{L|Mr. Krabs|What did you say, punk?!}} | {{L|Mr. Krabs|What did you say, punk?!}} | ||
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{{L|Nancy|Oh, so now the talking cheese is gonna preach to us.}} | {{L|Nancy|Oh, so now the talking cheese is gonna preach to us.}} | ||
{{L|Squidward|Wait, wait. I know tensions are high... ''[everyone gets into a fight. Pilar and Larry are yelling at each other. Medley slams a drum at him]'' There's a deposit on that equipment, people! ''[everyone uses their instruments as weapons. Mr. Krabs and Harold charge at each other with large woodwinds, but try to screech to a halt, and Mrs. Puff slams them both with her cymbals]'' Settle down, please!}} | {{L|Squidward|Wait, wait. I know tensions are high... ''[everyone gets into a fight. Pilar and Larry are yelling at each other. Medley slams a drum at him]'' There's a deposit on that equipment, people! ''[everyone uses their instruments as weapons. Mr. Krabs and Harold charge at each other with large woodwinds, but try to screech to a halt, and Mrs. Puff slams them both with her cymbals]'' Settle down, please!}} | ||
{{L|''[Sandy and Frank are fighting. Sandy breaks the xylophone keys from Frank and Frank runs away. Patrick kicks Sandy, who growls at him before producing a trumpet with an evil grin. Patrick realizes what's coming and runs away screaming as Sandy chases him with the trumpet. The scene cuts to the clock which shows 10 o'clock and everyone stops fighting.]''}} | {{L|''[Sandy and Frank are fighting. Sandy breaks the xylophone keys from Frank and Frank runs away. Patrick kicks Sandy, who growls at him before producing a trumpet with an evil grin. Patrick realizes what's coming and runs away screaming as Sandy chases him with the trumpet. The scene cuts to the clock which shows it being 10 o'clock and everyone stops fighting.]''}} | ||
{{L|Fred|Hey, class is over.}} | {{L|Fred|Hey, class is over.}} | ||
{{L|''[The band members walk to the door where Squidward slams it | {{L|''[The band members walk to the door where Squidward slams it closed.]''}} | ||
{{L|Squidward|Well, you did it. You took my one chance in happiness... and ''crushed'' it! Crushed it into little, tiny, bite-size pieces. I really had expected better of you people. I guess I'm a loser for that, too. Don't bother showing up tomorrow. I'll just tell them you all died in a marching accident. So, thanks. ''[sobbing]'' Thanks for nothing!}} | {{L|Squidward|Well, you did it. You took my one chance in happiness... and ''crushed'' it! Crushed it into little, tiny, bite-size pieces. I really had expected better of you people. I guess I'm a loser for that, too. Don't bother showing up tomorrow. I'll just tell them you all died in a marching accident. So, thanks. ''[sobbing]'' Thanks for nothing!}} | ||
{{L|''[Squidward walks away from the building.]''}} | {{L|''[Squidward walks away from the building.]''}} | ||
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{{L|Squilliam|Oh I just came to watch you blow it. So, where's your band?}} | {{L|Squilliam|Oh I just came to watch you blow it. So, where's your band?}} | ||
{{L|Squidward|Uh, they couldn't come. They... died.}} | {{L|Squidward|Uh, they couldn't come. They... died.}} | ||
{{L|Squilliam|Then who's that?}} | {{L|Squilliam|Then who's that?}} ''[points to SpongeBob and the rest of the band]'' | ||
{{L|Squidward|''[screams and his eyes pop out]'' That would be my band!}} | {{L|Squidward|''[screams and his eyes pop out]'' That would be my band!}} | ||
{{L|SpongeBob|We're ready to perform, Squidward.}} | {{L|SpongeBob|We're ready to perform, Squidward.}} | ||
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{{L|''[The bowl raises above a football field.]''}} | {{L|''[The bowl raises above a football field.]''}} | ||
{{L|Football Announcer|Okay, football fans. Put your hands together for the Bikini Bottom Super Band!}} | {{L|Football Announcer|Okay, football fans. Put your hands together for the Bikini Bottom Super Band!}} | ||
{{L|''[A crowd of live-action people is shown.]''}} | {{L|''[A crowd of live-action people cheering is shown.]''}} | ||
{{L|Patrick|These are some ugly looking fish.}} | {{L|Patrick|These are some ugly looking fish.}} | ||
{{L|SpongeBob|Maybe we're in one of those toxic waste dumps.}} | {{L|SpongeBob|Maybe we're in one of those toxic waste dumps.}} | ||
{{L|Mr. Krabs|I think I'm gonna be sick.}} | {{L|Mr. Krabs|I think I'm gonna be sick.}} | ||
{{L|Squidward|''[Nervously]'' Alright, everybody. ''[Glances at Squilliam, who grins and bounces his unibrow]'' Let's get this over with. 1, 2, 3, 4...}} | {{L|Squidward|''[Nervously]'' Alright, everybody. ''[Glances at Squilliam, who grins and bounces his unibrow]'' Let's get this over with. 1, 2, 3, 4...}} | ||
{{L|''[The band | {{L|''[The band starts to play a wonderful intro. Squidward opens his eyes, shocked. SpongeBob begins singing.]''}} | ||
{{L|SpongeBob|''[voice of David Glen Eisley]'' ♪The winner takes all, it's the thrill of one more kill. The last one to fall will never sacrifice their will. Don't ever look back on the world closin' in. Be on the attack with your wings on the wind. Oh, the games will begin.♪ ''[Squilliam stares in shock, Squidward gives him a smug grin and throws his baton over his shoulder and uses his arms for conducting.]'' ♪And it's sweet, sweet, sweet victory, yeah. And it's ours for the taking, it's ours for the fight,♪ ''[Squilliam faints and gets carried away by stretchers. Squidward waves a smug goodbye to him and runs to the middle of the stage.]'' ♪And it's sweet, sweet, sweet victory, yeah. And the one who's last to fall. We will have sweet, sweet victory...♪}} | {{L|SpongeBob|''[voice of David Glen Eisley]'' ♪The winner takes all, it's the thrill of one more kill. The last one to fall will never sacrifice their will. Don't ever look back on the world closin' in. Be on the attack with your wings on the wind. Oh, the games will begin.♪ ''[Squilliam stares in shock, Squidward gives him a smug grin and throws his baton over his shoulder and uses his arms for conducting.]'' ♪And it's sweet, sweet, sweet victory, yeah. And it's ours for the taking, it's ours for the fight,♪ ''[Squilliam faints and gets carried away by stretchers. Squidward waves a smug goodbye to him and runs to the middle of the stage.]'' ♪And it's sweet, sweet, sweet victory, yeah. And the one who's last to fall. We will have sweet, sweet victory...♪}} | ||
{{L|''[Squidward jumps up and the scene freezes. It then fades to black.]''}} | {{L|''[Squidward jumps up and the scene freezes. It then fades to black.]''}} | ||
Revision as of 12:43, 13 August 2017
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