A Flea in Her Dome/transcript

(Zoom in on Spongebob. He is bawling and sitting in the area between his pineapple and Squidward’s home. His tears send him up and down off the ground. Patrick walks up and pats Spongebob's back)

Patrick: There, there, SpongeBob. No need to cry.

(SpongeBob pops off Patrick's shoulder)

SpongeBob: Yes there is, Patrick. Sandy’s been gone for two whole days!

Patrick: Two whole days?! (tears pour out of his eyes like a hose as he begins to wail)

SpongeBob: Oh, why’d she have to go to that science convention in Tejas?

Patrick: Tejas!

SpongeBob: (sniffles, looks at his watch) She won’t be back for one more hour, twenty-six minutes and forty-seven seconds.

Patrick: Oh, forty-seven seconds! (Spongebob and Patrick cry tears in each other's faces) I miss Sandy so much. Her tentacles, (waves his arms) the way she plays clarinet - her massive nose! (a nose like Squidward’s pops onto his face)

SpongeBob: Patrick, that’s Squidward. (Patrick’s Squidward-like nose disappears] He’s not gone, he’s right here. (pan over to Squidward planting a flower)

Squidward: No, I’m not. (drops the flower into the ground and walks into his home, slamming the door behind him)

SpongeBob: I sure do miss that squirrel. (sniff) Her karate chopping, (karate chops ground) that ten gallon glass dome over her dome. And who can forget those buck teeth? (his buck teeth show sparkling) After Sandy gets back, we’re gonna let her know just how much we miss her!

Patrick: Is Sandy the one I call mom?

SpongeBob: No, Patrick, that’s your mother. But that does give me an idea! We'll throw Sandy the mother of welcome home parties! Patrick, to the treedome! (runs off, distorted trumpet fanfare plays)

Patrick: Wa-hey!

(Patrick runs after SpongeBob. Bubble transition to Sandy's house; SpongeBob and Patrick sneak into it with party supplies. SpongeBob twirls the handle open and the two run in and start painting on a blue banner with white paint. SpongeBob writes from left to right, and Patrick does the opposite. They run out of space on the banner, and it reads “WELCOMANDY“. Balloons rise up, transitioning to Patrick inhaling deeply. He holds an uninflated balloon to the fishbowl around his head and tries to blow it up, failing. Spongebob walks over, knocking on Patrick‘s bowl to get his attention. Patrick and Spongebob jump out of the tree holding balloons. The balloons fill with air as they float down. They stop, floating in midair just above the ground and start to kick their legs trying to reach it. There is another balloon transition to Spongebob icing a cake which reads "WELCOME HOME SANDY!")

Spongebob: Ah! (cake is shown, with two red hearts on either side of the word "WELCOME". Spongebob sets the icing down. The cake is missing from the tray. Patrick is next to him eating the cake. His water helmet's sitting on the table. He notices Spongebob glaring at him, pulls the cake out of his mouth and sets it on the tray. The cake is now in the shape of Texas.] Huh? [View of the cake. The two red hearts are at the top of the Texas-shaped cake, followed by the words ‘Welcome Home Sandy’ written in cursive. The ‘y’ in ‘Sandy’ curls down to a waving Spongebob and Patrick decoration. The two smile. There is another ballon transition to Patrick and Spongebob pulling ropes to hang a blue “WELCOME ‘DOME’ SANDY’ banner in the branches of the tree. A sign points out from the top of the tree that reads “WE MISSED YOU!” on what appears to be wood. Balloons are hung in the tree’s branches as well as pink banners. SpongeBob looks at his watch) We've readied this place for Sandy’s arrival which should be about - WHOO! Right now! [A red bus comes down the road, pulls up to Sandy's house and stops. The door opens and Sandy walks out, carrying a suitcase. Patrick and Spongebob run out from the treedome and stop in front of Sandy. SpongeBob sings.] Welcome home Sandy, you know that we missed ya’!

Bus driver: No! No one wants to hear you sing!

Sandy: Sorry, Spongebob. He’s got a fierce ‘no-singing’ policy.

[bus drives off]

Spongebob: It’s quite alright, Miss Cheeks, as long you don’t have a fierce ‘no-partying’ policy! [Sandy laughs. The three go inside the treedome.] First, cake, then we’ll karate-chop, and then...

Sandy: Wow, guys! You two, uh, [she scratches at her neck. All of her suit but her helmet is on] really know how to, uh, [scratches her back] throw a party.

Spongebob: I knew it! You have been itching to see us!

Sandy: Well, something’s making my skin crawl.

Spongebob: Maybe a slice of cake will take your mind off of your crawling hide. Patrick and I made this cake especially for your return. [Spongebob passes a slice of the cake to Patrick]

Patrick: This is gonna taste so good again.

Spongebob: Dig in, Sandy! [Sandy is scratching her back with a fork.] Uh…

Sandy: Looks tasty, Spongebob!

Spongebob: Are you okay, Sandy?

Sandy: I’m fine! My skin just hasn’t adjusted to this here underwater air. [Sandy’s fur begins to be pulled out with her scratching, it floats onto Spongebob’s plate and slice of cake. He moves the plate away with his fork, looking disgusted. He looks over to Patrick and sees him combing the hair on his cake, formed into a moustache and hairdo.

SpongeBob: Uh, hey Sandy! Sandy! [he pokes her back, and holds up a pink box with a red ribbon on it] Surprise! [He sets it on the table] Patrick and I chipped in and got ya’ a little something something.

Sandy: Aw, you guys, you shouldn’t have! [she rips the wrapping off of the box, and lifts up a purple snowboard] A new itch board - I mean, a new snowboard! Boy, I sure can’t wait to scratch this down chafe mountain!

SpongeBob: Don’t you mean ride this down Scab Mountain?

Sandy: Thank you very rawness, Spongebob and Pat.

SpongeBob: Umm, your welcome, Sandy. Hey, are you still up for some karate chops?

Sandy: Rashy sore! I mean sure.