Bubble Bass's Tab/transcript

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This article is a transcript of the SpongeBob SquarePants episode "Bubble Bass's Tab" from season 12, which aired on April 9, 2021.

• [The episode begins at the Krusty Krab]

• Squidward: One large Flatsom Fries. Extra jetsam. [drops it on tray] Four orders of Duck Weed. [drops it on tray]
• Bubble Bass: Me thinks thou forgot my gravy, thou the fish clam-brained flap dragon.
• SpongeBob: [laughs] Flap dragon.
• Squidward: Oh, and finally, one deep sea donut. [drops it on tray] That comes to a total of-
• Bubble Bass: Whatever the measure, squadron, put it on my account.
• Mr. Krabs: [peaks in from tray] Oh no, you don't. No more food for you until you pay your tab.
• Bubble Bass: P-p-p-ay t-t-t-t-tab? [reaches into his pocket and grabs a coin] I'll flip you for it.
• Mr. Krabs: [grabs coin] I'll take that.
• Bubble Bass: [pulls game from pants] How about a game of Three Deadly Challenges?
• SpongeBob: Oh, castle! Pick castle!
• Mr. Krabs: Oh, back! [slaps game out of Bubble Bass's hands]
• Bubble Bass: [runs out of building]
• Squidward: [laughs] I bet we'll never see that game geek again.
• Bubble Bass: [through drive thru speaker] Fifty Krabby Patties, please. Extra pickles. Put it on my tab.
• SpongeBob: [walks up to drive thru window to deliver food to Bubble Bass] Coming right up!
• Mr. Krabs: [yelling] Bubble Bass! You...
• Bubble Bass: [chanting] Hey, naughty naughty! You look pretty funny! You won't get my money! [starts rubbing butt on drive thru window] Nah nah nah nah nah!
• [Con man in his car honks horn, causing Bubble Bass to run away]
• Mr. Krabs: Mr. Squidward! I want you and SpongeBob to go after Bubble Bass and collect his tab!
• SpongeBob: [cheers happily]
• Squidward: Bleck.
• [transition to next scene at Bubble Bass' house, where SpongeBob and Squidward are about to arrive at]
• SpongeBob: [chanting] Hey, naughty naughty! You look pretty funny! You won't get my money! [stops chanting] I can't help it. It's catchy.
• Squidward: Look. I just want to collect the money as soon as possible and go. Bubble Bass, we're here to collect your tab! [kicks down door]
• SpongeBob: Squidward, that was so masculine.
• Squidward: Heh. Well,... Let's go. [him and SpongeBob walk into Bubble Bass' house] I know you're in here. Come out!
• SpongeBob: [sniffs] Hmm. Smells funny in here.
• [Bubble Bass apears as a moose head on the wall before popping back into the wall.
• Squidward: Smells like deadbeat. [shouting] If you don't pay up, we'll sell this furniture. [holds up nearby chair and drops it, damaging the corner] How much do you think this is worth? I just chipped it.
• SpongeBob: Oh, it was the chip that sold me. I'll give ya ten bucks.
• Bubble Bass: [from basement] Hey! Don't touch mother's things! I'll pay the tab! Come downstairs, and we'll work things out. [he wiggles at the carpet, causing SpongBob and Squidward to painfully fall down the stairs into the basement]
• SpongeBob: [lands in Squidward's lap] My savior!
• Squidward: [rolls SpongeBob off his lap] Alright, where is he?
• Bubble Bass: [from underground room] If you want me to pay, you're gonna have to play the Three Deadly Challenges!
• SpongeBob: [jumps into the air] Oh! The Three Deadly Challenges! I got this game! [ he opens up his body, revealing a shelf of board games] Where is it? Game of Strife? Chutes and Bladders? Oh, here it is! [he pulls out Three Deadly Challenges and closes his body] The Three Deadly Challenges!
• Squidward: A board game. Woopee.
• SpongeBob: [shouting] Okay, Bubble Bass! We accept the challenge!
• Squidward: Why are you giving him the upper hand? He owes us money!
• SpongeBob: Oh. But I wanna pway the Thwee Deadwy Chawenges.
• Squidward: Oh alright already! Let's get this over with!
• SpongeBob: Oh yeah! [Squidward kicks him into underground cellar as SpongeBob laughs]
• Squidward: Oh, boy. [climbs ladder into cellar]
• [in the cellar]
• SpongeBob: Woah. A life size version of the Three Deadly Challenges. Beautiful.
• Squidward: Looks like a hobo campground.
• SpongeBob: No, Squidward. You have to look with your imagination. [he waves his hand across the screen, revealing a more fantasy-like landscape]
• Squidward: What the? No! [he ruins the fantasy landscape] It's a dump!
• Bubble Bass: Thou are two oozing cysts on the hind side of a plague dog's nose.
• Squidward: What did he say?
• SpongeBob: The colorful insults are the best part of the game.
• Squidward: That figures. [walks to where Bubble Bass is along with SpongeBob] So how do you win this goofball game anyway?
• SpongeBob: Since Bubble Bass challenged us, all we have to do is get close enough to tag him out. We get three chances, or should I say three challenges.
• Squidward: Oh. [grunts]
• SpongeBob: Oh, boy! Look, Squidward! [wields sword a few times]
• Squidward: This feels stupid. [sighs]]
• SpongeBob and Squidward: Charge!
• [Squidward laughs. SpongeBob exits the kitchen with a rose in his mouth.]
• SpongeBob: [takes the rose out of his mouth] Ole, Señor Squidward?
• [Squidward jumps out the boat, and holds his arm out to SpongeBob.]
• Squidward: Ole, SpongeBob.
• [SpongeBob puts the rose back into his mouth, twirls, and then starts dancing with Squidward.]
• Squidward: I'll lead.
• Mama Bass: [pokes Squidward's arm] May I?
• [Mama Bass giggles whilst looking at Squidward.]
• Squidward: Eh, but of course. [he and Mama Bass dance. SpongeBob eats the rose and the episode ends with Squidward and Mama Bass dancing out of the Krusty Krab]