Bubble Buddy/transcript

This article is a transcript of the SpongeBob SquarePants episode "Bubble Buddy" from season 2, which aired on February 3, 2001.

• French Narrator: Every day is a holiday for SpongeBob, even if he has to make one up.
• SpongeBob: [jumps out of bed wearing a large beard and a horned helmet] Hey, everybody! It's Leif Erikson Day! Hinga-dinga-durgen! [grabs two oars and steers his bed like a boat to Patrick's] Ahoy, Patrick! It's Leif Erikson Day! [Patrick's rock opens and there's a big piece of paper] There's a note.
• Patrick: [as note] SpongeBob, went to get more giant paper. Uh... Patrick. P.S. Happy Leif Erikson Day! Yingin-hinga-dinga!
• SpongeBob: [disappointed; horns droop] Aww... so much for that. [immediately cheers up] Maybe Sandy will play with me. [He throws his costume away. Bubble transitions to SpongeBob walking over to Sandy's home. There is a note on the door.] Another note.
• Sandy: [as note] SpongeBob, went south for the winter. Love, Sandy.
• SpongeBob: I don't get it. The water's fine. [notices the treedome is snowing inside. Bubble transitions to SpongeBob going to Squidward's home. There is a note on his door.] Hey, Squidward! Want to play?
• Squidward: [as note] No.
• SpongeBob: Are you sure? [takes the note off the door, revealing another note]
• Squidward: [as note] Yes.
• SpongeBob: Darn. I wish I had a buddy to play with. I know! I'll make one! [Bubble transitions to SpongeBob holding a large stick] Stick Buddy! [lets go of the stick which falls to the ground] Nah... [Bubble transitions to SpongeBob standing next to a pile of rocks] Rock Buddy! Nope... [Bubble transitions to SpongeBob standing next to a sink] Sink Buddy! [Sink Buddy drips a little water] Almost... [Bubble transitions to SpongeBob again] I've got it! [dips his bubble wand into bubble soap and blows a human shape-like bubble] Bubble Buddy! [scene cuts to SpongeBob and Bubble Buddy on the seesaw] This... is... great! [Bubble transitions to SpongeBob going to the Krusty Krab with his bubble] I can't wait for you to meet Squidward and Mr. Krabs. [walks in the Krusty Krab but his bubble just floats at the door] Don't be shy, come on! [squeezes the bubble through the doors]
• Squidward: [sarcastically] Please come again. When I'm not working. Next.
• SpongeBob: Hi, Squidward!
• Squidward: How am I supposed to enjoy your day off if you come to work anyway?
• SpongeBob: I want you to meet my new friend, Bubble Buddy!
• Squidward: This bubble is your friend? [sees his reflection in Bubble Buddy's face; giggles] Well, he's handsome, I'll give him that. What'll it be?
• SpongeBob: Oh, I'm not hungry.
• Squidward: Well, thanks for stoppin' by.
• SpongeBob: Wait! You haven't taken Bubble Buddy's order yet!
• Squidward: Why would I do that?
• SpongeBob: He's hungry.
• Squidward: He's an inanimate object, his money's no good here!
• Mr. Krabs: [comes out of the register] What are you sayin', Mr. Squidward? Everyone's money is good here. [a criminal is eating a Krabby Patty] At the Krusty Krab, we serves all kinds.
• Squidward: I'm not taking an order for a bubble.
• Mr. Krabs: Sure ya are! Or I'll fill your life with misery and woe. [goes back to the cash register, then he peeks at Squidward] Even if ya quit. [goes back into the cash register again]
• Squidward: May I take your order?
• SpongeBob: Wait, Bubble Buddy. Let me decide for you. [reads the menu] Hmmm. Krabby Patty, Double Patty Patty, Krabby Junior Junior, Jumbo Small Patty, Junior Senior Sophomore Patty, Quarter Ouncer Double Pounder...ohh, it's all so good! He'll just have one of everything. [Mr. Krabs explodes through the cash register]
• Mr. Krabs: One of everything?! Whoopee! [rips off his shirt and applies a tattoo on himself that has a heart and the words "Bubble Buddy" through it] I love Bubble Buddy! Squidward, show our best customer to his table. [points his eyes to a table in the opposite direction]
• SpongeBob: Bubble Buddy's thirsty.
• Squidward: How about a glass of our finest shampoo? [laughs]
• SpongeBob: Sounds great! [Squidward looks annoyed that he took his comment literally, walks off and returns with a shampoo bottle with a straw in it]
• Squidward: Here's your hair care product, sir.
• SpongeBob: Uhh, Bubble Buddy likes bendy straws. [Squidward bends the straw] Huh, what's that? Bubble Buddy says it tastes funny. What do you think?
• Squidward: Mr. Krabs!
• Mr. Krabs: [chews and spits a Krabby Patty for an old lady to eat] Think of the customer.
• Squidward: [drinks shampoo] Oh, silly me. I got the diet shampoo. [Bubble transitions to Squidward pushing a red cart full of Krabby patties] Here we go, one of everything for Bubble Buddy.
• SpongeBob: [examines the cheese on one of the Krabby patties and gasps] Oh no, Squidward, wait! There's cheese on these patties!
• Squidward: And?
• SpongeBob: Bubble Buddy's lactose-intolerant, he can't eat cheese! What should we do?
• Squidward: We? How about you take these patties and sh...
• Mr. Krabs: [off-screen; cutting him off] Mr. Squidward! [Squidward frowns in annoyance; he takes back the patty and walks off with the cart]
• SpongeBob: Don't worry, Bubble Buddy. Squidward will make a fresh batch.
• Squidward: [returns with the cart and presents Bubble Buddy with one of the Krabby patties, without cheese] What, is he allergic to bread, too?
• SpongeBob: Actually, he doesn't like the crust. [Scene cuts to Squidward slicing the crust off the buns.] And Squidward, the ketchup should be under the patty. [Scene cuts to Squidward squeezing ketchup on each of the patties.] And Squidward, the pickles should be on the left side. [Scene cuts to Squidward preparing the fries.] And Squidward, you should... [Scene cuts to Squidward rolling the dough.] And Squidward... [Scene cuts to Squidward flipping the patties.] And Squidward... [Scene cuts to Squidward measuring the patty with a ruler.] And Squidward... [Scene cuts to Squidward massaging Bubble Buddy.] And Squidward...
• Squidward: [presents a tray of six Krabby patties to Bubble Buddy] Here, one of everything! No cheese, no crust, pickles to the left, four squirts of ketchup, wheat buns, non-dairy lettuce, and farm-raised tomatoes carnival-style! [sets a bigger ferris wheel on the table] And if there's anything else I can do, [shaking angrily] please hesitate to ask. [Bubble transitions to SpongeBob and Bubble Buddy leaving the Krusty Krab.]
• SpongeBob: That was delicious! Money's on the table, Mr. Krabs! [Mr. Krabs waves]
• Mr. Krabs: So long, boys! You see, Squidward, the restaurant game is all about service. The customer is always right. Remember that, lad, and you'll be as successful as me one day.
• Squidward: [sarcastically] Oh, you're right, Mr. Krabs. I learned my lesson. And by the way, Bubble Buddy picked up the tab. [hands Mr. Krabs a $100 bill made of bubbles]
• Mr. Krabs: What's this?
• Squidward: Bubble money. [$100 bill pops. Squidward shows his hand full of bubble change] At least they left a tip! [all the bubbles pop as Mr. Krabs and Squidward start growling with fury. Bubble transitions to Goo Lagoon]
• SpongeBob: Here we are, Bubble Buddy, Goo Lagoon. There are lots of ways to have fun here. [Scooter runs up to SpongeBob]
• Scooter: Dudes, bury me! [laughs]
• SpongeBob: See what I mean? [fade cut] All done!
• Scooter: [buried under the sand] All right!
• SpongeBob: Bubble Buddy, you dig him out while I get some cotton candy.
• Scooter: Don't just stand there, dude. The tide's comin' in. [laughs. Water reaches him] Dude? [Bubble transitions to SpongeBob taking Bubble Buddy to the Port-O-Head]
• SpongeBob: [places Bubble Buddy inside] [Harold and Nat Peterson are behind him] My friend's in there.
• Harold: Congratulations.
• SpongeBob: [goes to the music and he dances along] Woo! Shake it! Woo-woo! Shake it! Yeah! Shake that bubble butt! Yeah! [everyone looks at their rears and they leave in embarrassment] [Scene cuts to SpongeBob waiting for Bubble Buddy in the Port-O-Head. Harold impatiently looks at his watch to check how long Bubble Buddy has been in the bathroom.]
• Pearl: [giggles] Oh, oh! It's the world-famous surf punk, Grubby Grouper!
• Grubby Grouper: Later, groupies! [shakes Pearl's flipper] Grubby's gotta go catch some gnarly pounders. Ahoo!
• Pearl: [looks at her flipper which is dirty now] Oh, I'll never wash this flipper again. [SpongeBob walks up with Bubble Buddy]
• SpongeBob: Hey, Pearl! Shake hands with Bubble Buddy! [rubs Bubble Buddy's hands on Pearl's dirty flipper, her flipper is now clean. Pearl sobs. Scene cuts to the Port-O-Head, where 11 people are behind SpongeBob in line.] It's his first time on his own.
• Harold: Once again, congratulations. [Bubble transitions to the very long line. Picture scrolls over to where we see a sign that reads '45 minutes from this point']
• Man: Popcorn! Peanuts!
• Lou: [sounding desperate] Ice cold drinks!
• Harold: [camera stops on he and SpongeBob as SpongeBob whistles and Peterson struggles to hold it in; not able to take the wait anymore] Two hours is long enough! That's it! [opens the port-o-potty door to see Bubble Buddy]
• SpongeBob: Hey, Bubble Buddy, you're finished! [takes Bubble Buddy away, leaving everybody to glare at them]
• Francis: He kept us waiting for a bubble?
• Larry: That's nothing! He called us fat! [begins crunching on celery stalks along with others]
• Pearl: [crying as she shows her clean flipper] He washed my flipper!
• Mr. Krabs: [storming up] He owes me money!
• Squidward: [following Mr. Krabs] He made me provide excellent service!
• Scooter: [appears with a halo and angel clothing on] Dudes! He made me experience high tide! [floats up towards the surface while laughing]
• Tom: He poisoned our water supply, burned our crops and delivered a plague unto our houses!
• Protesters: He did?
• Tom: No... But are we just gonna wait around until he does?
• Mr. Krabs: I say we tip somethin' over! [all yelling]
• Lifeguard: Hey, hey, hey! [everyone tips the lifeguard stand]
• Protester: Now what?

{{L|Protesters|Get the lifeguard! [they go to the lifeguard, but Squidward stops t-make Bubble Buddy uncomfortable.}\ }

• Larr\{L: SpongeBob
• Pearl: No. "Go" as in... [blows a bubble with

her gum until it pops]

• SpongeBob: [screams] Why?!
• Mr. Krabs: You and that bubble have been nothin' but trouble! It's time to end it! [All the protesters hold their needles.]
• SpongeBob: No! I won't let you! [blows Bubble Buddy until they begin floating] Here we go! You'll never catch us now! Never! Ha haa! Never! [both start to get lower to the ground and the protesters surround them both again] Never...
• Squidward: Enough sea-horsing around, SpongeBob! Give us that bubble!
• Protesters: Pop the bubble! Pop the bubble! Pop the bubble!
• SpongeBob: No! You can't! He's not just a bubble, he's a Bubble Buddy! He's my friend and I love him! Haven't you ever had a very special friend? [sheds tears]
• Mr. Krabs: [starts crying] Nickel Buddy, I'll never spend you!

{{L|Sheldon|Funny MuffMUJKIOI.L,

• Protesters: [look at each other, then they bring out their needles] Pop the bubble! Pop the bubble! Pop the bubble! [grab SpongeBob and throw him away]
• Squidward: Let's get this over with so I can go home and play my clarinet!
• SpongeBob: No...! [Squidward charges his needle towards Bubble Buddy in a slow dramatic manner, while SpongeBob begs them to stop. But then suddenly Bubble Buddy grabs ahold of Squidward's hand before the needle reaches the former]
• Bubble Buddy: Whoa! [all except SpongeBob gasp] Hey, don't I get a say in this? I'll see you later, SpongeBob. Things are getting a little weird around here. GE

{{L|SpongeBob|Of course! Otherwise he couldn't tell GTas everyone walks off 8 7