A Friendly Game/transcript

Template:ITranscript Template:EpisodeTr Template:L Template:L Template:L Template:L Template:L Template:L Template:L Template:L Template:L Template:L Template:L Template:L Template:L Template:L Template:L Template:L Template:L Template:L Template:L Template:L Template:L Template:L Template:L Template:L Template:L Template:L Template:L Template:L •Patrick:Nice shot.(moves ball)

•Spongebob:What are you doing?

Patrick:Moving my ball.

Spongebob:Patrick,you have to play it where it lands.

Patrick:Fine.Have it your way.(moves ball back to original place,shoots,makes it)Ready to give up?

(cuts to a hole)

Patrick:Ha!Let's see how you do against the windmill.You haven't got a chance.

Spongebob:You know,Patrick,this is just a game.

Patrick:Oh,it is just a game,which I am gonna win.

Spongebob:I think you're missing the point.(aims,practice shots)

•Patrick:Speaking of m-m-MISSING! (Spongebob shoots by accident,startled by Patrick) Ha!Gotta play it where it lands.Watch and learn,SquarePants.Watch and learn. (shoots and makes it) YES!See if you can top that!

Spongebob:(uneasily)Okay.

Patrick:(with microphone and headphones) Spongebob readies the approach shot.He's gotta be very careful he doesn't hook the shot here, because this would certainly be an inopportune time for a bogey.(Spongebob swings but stops)A pressure-packed shot to be sure.(leaves)

Spongebob:(dramatic music)(sweats and wipes his forehead,shoots,ball stops right before it's about to go in)

Bikini Bottomites:Aw. (all whisper)

(cuts to hole)

Patrick:Looks like we're tied,three shots to three.

Spongebob:(chuckles)They're called strokes in golf,Patrick.

Patrick:Whatever.(shoots an makes it)AND HE SINKS ANOTHER HOLE IN ONE!That's two in a row!

Spongebob:All right.You wanna play competitive,eh?Observe.(shoots and makes it) Right between the old wickets.Come on bally,don't fail me now.

Patrick:Watch out for the water hazard.

Spongebob:Patrick,the only hazard I can see is you standing in my shot.

Patrick:I have no idea what you're talking about.

Spongebob:Fine.Be that way.I'll just go around you.(shoots ball an ball ricochets off of picture, through sculpture an out the window)Oops.

Patrick:Show-off.I can do that.(shoots,Spongebob ducks and goes out the window)

Spongebob:Oh,where did our balls go?

Patrick:Well,how do I know?I was just copying you.

Spongebob:(shows side of Squidward's house and broken window)Uh-oh. Oh well,I guess that's game point.

Patrick:Oh-ho-ho-ho-ho,hold on there,fella.It's not over yet.

Spongebob:But remember what Squidward said?We can't make any noise!

Patrick:Who said anything about noise?We're just gonna get outta the rough and back to the course!

Spongebob:Hey!Patrick.Patrick!What's the big idea?I thought we were in here to play golf, remember?

Patrick:Okay,okay!

Spongebob:Now where is that darn ball?

Patrick:Oh!

Spongebob:Patrick,have you seen by ball?

Patrick:Was it a red one?

Spongebob:M-hmm.

Patrick:It might have been in the kelp salad.

Spongebob:Patrick,you ate my ball?

Patrick:Don't worry,I'll get it.

Spongebob:Patrick,no!

Patrick:No?

Spongebob:I have to play the ball where it lies.(goes inside Patrick and opens his mouth)You'll need to leave this open.(goes back inside)Now,let's see,if I was a golf ball,where would I-oh! Next to the gallbladder,of course.Fore!(ball goes through wall and hits lamp Where's your ball?

Patrick:I don't know.Gotta be around here somewhere.(ball seen in Patrick's butthole on outside of pants)

Spongebob:There it is!

Patrick:Uh-oh.

Spongebob:Play it where it lies.

Patrick:(angrily grumbling)(cuts to him shooting it and ricocheting off a cabinet to a overhead desk lamp,picture,and through a wall)Hole in one!Top that!

Spongebob:I could do that blindfolded.(Patrick hands him a blindfold)

(cuts to blind Spongebob) Spongebob:(he hits a door)(Thunk!)(feels around to identify it)(slams door)

Patrick:Wait up!Warmer.Warmer.Red hot!

Spongebob:(slams a door)Aha!

Patrick:Warmer.Warmer.Colder.Colder.Warmer.Warmer.Warmer.Hot.Hotter. Red hot!Red hot!(Spongebob splits a table)Wait,My mistake.You're right.Oh.Warmer.Warmer. Hot.Hot.Red hot.Red hot!Spongebob,red hot!(Kills a plant)Wrong Again.

Spongebob:Patrick-(peeks out)

Patrick:Stop peeking!Hotter.(wrecks Squidward's house along the way) Hotter!Hot!Hot!Cold.Hot.Cold.Hot!Cold.

Spongebob:Patrick!This is ridic-(sees Squidward's wrecked house) -ulous.Wow.Squidward's really let this place go.Patrick!

Patrick:(in shower)(screams)

Spongebob:What are you doing?

Patrick:I was just freshening up.These fancy fixtures are touchy(steam builds up around Patrick)Hot!Red hot!Ah!Cold!Cold!

Spongebob:Would you please get back in the game?

Patrick:But I wanted to try his loofah.

Spongebob:Those balls have gotta be around here somewhere.Oh, Patrick.(ding)

Patrick:Uhh,look a little closer,buddy.

Spongebob:(uneasily)Play it where it lies?

Patrick:Play it where it lies.

Spongebob:But how are we gonna hit our balls back to my house from here?

Patrick:All it takes is a little finesse,Spongebob.All it takes is a little finesse.

Spongebob:Okay,you're good to go.

Patrick:Fore!(wrecks top front of house)It's all yours

Spongebob:This one's for all the marbles.

Patrick:But I thought we weren't betting.

Spongebob:No,I mean whoever wins this hole wins the game.(Squidward wakes up and takes off his blindfold to see spongebob and Patrick talking)

Squidward:(muffled)What's going on here?(screams) (Spongebob and Patrick shoot,landing Gary's food bowl,spilling on him)

Spongebob and Patrick:(together)Hole in one!(Squidward sits up)

Spongebob:Good morning.

Patrick: Sorry we woke you.

Squidward:(muffled)(stammering)Wha-What?(his mouth is shown,with no denchers)

Spongebob:Hey,Squidward,what happened to your denchers?

(cuts to Gary,with denchers in his bowl)

Patrick:Good game,pal.

Spongebob:Rematch next Saturday?

Patrick:Rain or shine,Spongebob.Rain or shine.

(stops raining,focusing on Squidward's house,which collapses)

Squidward:(muffled)Guys?You guys?

(episode ends)