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{{EpisodeTranscript}}
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{{L|''[The episode opens at the Krusty Krab, at closing time.]''}}
{{L|''[The episode opens at the Krusty Krab, at closing time.]''}}
{{L|Squidward|Just clock out already!}}
*'''Squidward: '''Just clock out already!
{{L|SpongeBob|I'm trying Squidward, but clocking out is the most upsetting part of the day. At least soon I'll be home, where I can relive all the wonderful moments from my day at work. ''[flashback]'' I'm all over it boss man. ''[makes patty]'' Order up Gare-ward!}}
*'''SpongeBob: '''I'm trying, Squidward, but clocking out is the most upsetting part of the day! ''[Squidward slaps himself in the face]'' At least soon, I'll be home where I can relive all the wonderful moments from my day at work. ''[Flashback, in SpongeBob's house, where he's cooking Krabby Patties, with a bag of flour dressed like Mr. Krabs standing right next to him]'' I'm all over it, boss man! Order up, Gare-ward! ''[Gary has a bag on him that has a picture of Squidward on it]''
{{L|Gary|''[imitating Squidward]'' Meow.}}
*'''Gary: '''Meow! ''[Saying yeah-yeah in snail form]''
{{L|SpongeBob|It's so hard to leave, even for one night.}}
*'''SpongeBob: '''It's just so hard to leave, even for one night! 
{{L|Squidward|I beg to differ. ''[switches ID cards]'' I mean, just look at this place ''[cuts to shot of the mess that happened at the restaurant]'', it's disgusting. Not to mention our cheap boss.}}
*'''Squidward: '''''[Squidward takes SpongeBob's ID and clocks both IDs out]'' I beg to differ. I mean, just look at this place! ''[Shows Krusty Krab, which is a filthy mess]'' It's disgusting, not to mention our cheap boss!
{{L|Mr. Krabs|''[flips penny from the floor with a spatula, the penny lands on his hand]'' Woo-hoo! Got it. Hey who are you calling cheap?}}
*'''Mr. Krabs:''' ''[Shown trying to get a penny out of the floorboards with a spatula]'' Woo-hoo! Got it! Hey, who are you calling cheap?
{{L|Squidward|The guy who won't even spree for a doormat!}}
*'''Squidward: '''The guy who won't even spring for a doormat! ''[Shows door, which has no doormat in front of it]''
{{L|Mr. Krabs|Oh, give me a break Mr. Complains a Lot, as if you know anything about running a restaurant. ''[laughs]''}}
*'''Mr. Krabs: '''Oh, give me a break, Mr. Complainsalot! As if you would know anything about running a restaurant! ''[laughs]''
{{L|Squidward|Well if I did run a restaurant, my exquisite taste in gourmet know-how would have customers waiting in line for years, just to get a table.}}
*'''Squidward: '''Well, if I did run a restaurant, my exquisite taste and gourmet know-how would have customers waiting in line for years just to get a table!
{{L|Mr: Krabs|''[laughs to himself]'' See you fellas tomorrow. Gourmet know-how. ''[laughs]''}}
*'''Mr. Krabs: ''' ''[laughing and chortling]'' See you fellows tomorrow! Gourmet know-how! ''[laughing]''
{{L|Squidward|Laugh it up! My knowledge and intelligence could even make the Chum Bucket a success.}}
*'''Squidward: '''Laugh it up! My knowledge and intelligence could make even the Chum Bucket a success! ''[Plankton spies on Squidward and SpongeBob and follows them]''
{{L|Plankton|''[exits the Chum Bucket]'' Hey, hey, hey! I'm yelling over here! ''[jumps on SpongeBob and then on Squidward's head]''}}
*'''Plankton: '''Hey! Hey! Heeeeeeeyyyyy! I'm yelling over here! ''[Plankton jumps on Squidward]''
{{L|Squidward|Ouch! I think I picked up a tick. ''[rips Plankton off his head]'' Plankton, what do you want?}}
*'''Squidward: '''Ouch, I think I picked up a tick! ''[Squidward takes Plankton off the side of his head]'' Plankton?! What do you want?
{{L|Plankton|Well I like to take you up on your offer to make a Chum Bucket a success!}}
*'''Plankton: '''Well, I'd like to take you up on your offer to make the Chum Bucket a success!
{{L|Squidward|Oh, I don't know about that.}}
*'''Squidward: '''Oh, I don't know about that.
{{L|Mr. Krabs|I don't value you at all! ''[laughs]''}}
*'''Mr. Krabs: '''I don't value you at all! ''[laughs]''
{{L|Squidward|I'll do it.}}
*'''Squidward: '''I'll do it. ''[SpongeBob taps Squidward to get his attention]''
{{L|SpongeBob|''[pokes Squidward and he notices him]'' Don't you think that working at the Chum Bucket and The Krusty Krab is a conflict of interest Squidward?}}
*'''SpongeBob: '''Don't you think that working at the Chum Bucket'' and ''the Krusty Krab is a conflict of interest, Squidward?
{{L|Squidward|Gee SpongeBob, I haven't thought of that, you're right. ''[SpongeBob smiles]'' I quit. ''[SpongeBob frowns]''}}
*'''Squidward: '''Oh, geez, SpongeBob, I hadn't thought about that! You're right! I quit. ''(Episode cuts to Squidward entering the Chum Bucket)'' Eh, a bit industrial, but I can make it work. ''(Episode cuts to the Chum Bucket kitchen)'' You call this a kitchen? We should start by tearing out this wall so the chef is visible to his adoring fans!
{{L|''[bubble transition to the interior of the Chum Bucket]''}}
*'''Karen: '''Great! ''Two ''megalomaniacs.
{{L|Squidward|Euggh, a bit industrial but I can make it work.}}
*'''Squidward: '''I don't see any use for all these old pack traps. We should just break them down for parts. ''(Squidward tears out the traps)''
{{L|Squidward| ''[enters the kitchen of the Chum Bucket]'' You call this a kitchen? We should start by tearing out this wall so the chef is visible to his adoring fans.}}
*'''Plankton: '''But, but that's my chum-fueled antennae massager!
{{L|Karen|Great, ''two'' megalomaniacs.}}
*'''Squidward: '''Oh, I'm sorry! Remind me, who's in complete creative control here?
{{L|Squidward|I don't see any use for these ol' claptraps. We should just break them down for parts. ''[tears claptraps out]''}}
*'''Plankton: '''Anyone can come in and redecorate, pal, but you still haven't proven how you're gonna make chum edible!
{{L|Plankton|But, but that's my Chum-fueled Antennae Massager.}}
*'''Squidward: '''So I guess the proof is in the pudding, then, isn't it?
{{L|Squidward|Oh, I'm sorry. Remind me, who's in complete creative control here?!}}
*'''Plankton: '''You're making chum pudding?
{{L|Plankton|Anyone can come in and redecorate pal, but you still haven't proven how you're going to make Chum edible.}}
*'''Squidward: '''I'm making chum fricassee. ''(Pulls a lever to bring down a big blob of chum to make fricasee)''
{{L|Squidward|So I guess the proof is in the pudding, then isn't it?}}
*Plankton: Frica-what?
{{L|Plankton|You're making Chum pudding?}}
*'''Squidward: '''See, Plankton, there's a trick to making chum edible.'' (Squidward smells the bad stench of chum)'' We just have to follow old Grandma Tentacles's secret fricassee recipe.
{{L|Squidward|I'm making Chum Fricassee. ''[pulls the string and squirts out the Chum from the dispenser into the wheel barrel]''}}
*'''Plankton: '''Secret recipe, you say, huh? ''(Plankton pulls out a pencil and pad)'' What's in it?
{{L|Plankton|Frica-what?}}
*'''Squidward: '''Nice try, tiny Cyclops. You won't get Grandma's delicate mix of seasonings and spices that easily, but preparation cannot be rushed. Each batch must simmer for exactly 24 hours.
{{L|Squidward|You see Plankton ''[puts a finger into chum and picks it up with it]'', there's a trick to making Chum edible. ''[smells the chum and flings it back into the wheelbarrow]'' We just have to follow Grandma Tentacles' secret fricassee recipe.}}
*'''French Narrator:''' Twenty-Four hours later....
{{L|Plankton|Secret recipe, you say huh? What's in it? ''[pulls out notepad and pencil]''}}
*(24 hours later, Plankton is sleeping when Squidward puts a scoop of chum fricassee on his plate)
{{L|Squidward|Nice try, tiny cyclops, you won't get Grandma's delicate mix of seasonings and spices ''that'' easily. But, preparation cannot be rushed, each batch much simmer for exactly 24 hours.}}
*'''Plankton: '''Who took my blue blanky? Huh? This is the secret stuff? Doesn't look very promising.
{{L|French Narrator|24 hours later...}}
*'''Squidward: '''Oh, just taste it already!
{{L|''[cuts to Plankton resting his head on the dining table and a spatula flips the fricassee on the plate]''}}
*'''Plankton:''' ''(Plankton smells the fricassee)'' Well, the smell doesn't make me retch... ''(Plankton takes a bite out of the fricassee)'' Hey, that ain't bad at all! ''(Takes another bite out of the fricassee)'' It's actually amazing! ''(Plankton throws away the spoon and gobbles down the fricasee)'' This is gold in the form of chum! Squidward, my friend, you'll be the toast of Bikini Bottom! This recipe is going to make you a star.
{{L|Plankton|Who took my blue blankie!? ''[notices the fricassee on the plate. Karen is cleaning the dishes in the background]'' Huh, this is the secret stuff? Doesn't look very promising.}}
*'''Squidward: '''A star.
{{L|Squidward|Oh just taste it already!}}
*'''Plankton: '''A star.
{{L|Plankton|''[sniffs fricassee]'' Well the smell doesn't make me wretch. ''[scoops up a piece with a spoon and tries it]'' Hey, that ain't bad at all! ''[takes second scoop and tries it]'' It's actually amazing! ''[jumps on the table and eats the whole thing, and throws away the spoon and the plate]'' This is gold in the form of chum! ''[jumps on Squidward's head]'' Squidward my friend, you'll be the toast of Bikini Bottom! This recipe is going to make you a star.}}
*'''TV Announcer: '''Hello, hungry eaters! It's time for... ''Flavors of the Bottom'', a collectible look at dining out in Bikini Bottom, with your host, Perch Perkins!
{{L|Squidward|A star.}}
*'''Perch Perkins: '''Hey, all you bottom-feeders. If you've already eaten, well, you better make room for seconds, because we are tasting Bikini Bottom's sensational, new, upscale eatery, Le Chum Bucket. Look at all those classy diners! What's on the menu? It's called chum fricassee. Earlier, I spoke to head chef Squidward Tentacles. He shared with us why it's such a frica-success.
{{L|Plankton|A star.}}
*'''Squidward ''(on the news)'': '''Actually, I can't share the recipe with you. It's a secret.
{{L|Announcer for Flavors of the Bottom|Hello hungry eaters, it's time for, Flavors of the Bottom, a delectable at dining out at Bikini Bottom,  look with your host Perch Perkins!}}
*''(Episode cuts to the Krusty Krab, where Mr. Krabs is watching the news on TV)''
{{L|Perch Perkins|Hey all you bottom feeders! If you already eaten, well you might want to make room for seconds! ''[camera zooms out to a shot of Le' Chum Bucket]'' ''[cuts to the interior]'' Cause' we are tasting Bikini Bottom's new upscale eatery, Le' Chum Bucket. ''[cuts to classy customers at the table]'' Look at all those classy diners. What's on the menu? It's called, Chum Fricassee. ''[cuts back to him]'' Earlier, I spoke to head chef Squidward Tentacles. He shared with us why it's such a, Frica-success!}}
*Mr. Krabs: What?!
{{L|''[customers eat it with a fork, only to like it, throw away the fork, and eat the whole thing off their plates]''}}
*'''Plankton: '''Ha-ha-ha! That's right, Krabs! Now, we have a secret formula, and it's in a bottle, and you can't have it! Ha-ha!
{{L|Squidward|Actually, I can't share the recipe with you, it's a secret. }}
*'''Squidward: '''Give that back, please. ''(Squidward snatches the recipe from Plankton)'' Thank you.
{{L|Mr. Krabs|''[cuts to him watching his restaurant be a success on the news with a TV on the table]'' What?}}
*'''Plankton: '''Secret!!!!
{{L|Plankton|''[laughs]'' That's right Krabs ''[TV view goes back in full screen]'', now we have a secret formula, and it's a bottle, and you can't have it! ''[laughs]''}}
*'''Perch Perkins:''' Well, it's clearly no secret....
{{L|Squidward|Give me that, please. ''[snatches formula out of Plankton's hand]'' Thank you.}}
*'''Fred:''' Say, "Fricassee." ''(takes picture of himself along with his bride and Squidward)''
{{L|Plankton|''[yells into microphone]'' Secret!}}
*'''Perch Perkins:''' ..... that Le Chum Bucket is a hit.
 
*'''Customers:''' Chef Squidward, Chef Squidward! Will you sign this please? ''(holds up their dishes with Squidward's Chum Fricasse on them)''
{{L|Perch Perkins|Well, it's clearly no secret... ''[a groom takes a selfie with Squidward, who is holding a plate of Chum Fricassee, and his bride, who is holding a bouquet of flowers]''}}
*'''Squidward:''' Anything for my fans.
{{L|Fred|Say Fricassee! ''[takes a photo]''}}
*'''Mr. Krabs: '''This is mutiny! And the public is actually eating it! Well, at least our loyal clientele haven't jumped on the chum wagon.
{{L|Perch Perkins|...that Le Chum Bucket is a hit.}}
*'''SpongeBob:''' Don't speak too soon, Mr. Krabs. ''(The Krusty Krab looks empty)''
{{L|Customers|Chef Squidward, Chef Squidward. ''[speak gibberish as they hold up their plate of Chum Fricassee]''}}
*'''Mr. Krabs:''' So, we're having a slow day. At least Old Jethra has stuck with us. That Krabby Patty hitting the spot, Jethra?
{{L|Squidward|Anything for my fans. ''[holds up a pen]''}}
*'''Old Jethra:''' Actually, they was all filled up at the Chum Bucket, so I had to get my chum to go. ''(he reveals that he is actually eating Squidward's Chum Fricassee rather than a Krabby Patty)'' I got it signed by Squidward himself, though.
 
*'''Mr. Krabs:''' (shocked by what he heard, his eyes, claws, and feet exploded. He then regrows his eyes but in an angry mood) Time to get to the bottom of this. ''(cuts to Le Chm Bucket with a huge line. Mr. Krabs and SpongeBob enters the restaurant disguised as rich gentlemen)'' Oohh, just act like another fancy customer.
{{L|Mr. Krabs|''[pounds the table, making the TV go static]'' This is mutiny! And the public is actually eating it! Well, at least our loyal clientele haven't jumped on the Chum Wagon.}}
*'''SpongeBob:''' Aye, aye, Mr. Krabs! ''(Mr. Krabs covers SpongeBob mouth)''
{{L|SpongeBob|''[goes to Mr. Krabs]'' Don't speak too soon, Mr. Krabs. ''[The Krusty Krab is empty]''}}
*'''Mr. Krabs''': Shh! ''(stammering)'' What's gotten into you? High-faluting customers don't bark at the top of their lungs like a seadog.
{{L|Mr. Krabs|So, ''[leaves the barrel]'' we're having a slow day. ''[walks to a customer]'' At least Old Jethra is stuck with us. That Krabby Patty hittin' the spot Jethra?}}
*'''SpongeBob:''' Oops, uh... I mean, I fancy a bit of the old chum. Indeed I do, Squire.
{{L|Jethra|Actually, they was all filled up at the Chum Bucket, so I had to get my chum to go. ''[shows Mr. Krabs his chum, that has Squidward's signature]'' I got a sign by Squidward hisself though.}}
*'''Mr. Krabs:''' Good evening, Madam. Table for two, please?
{{L|Mr. Krabs|Hmm... ''[his eyes, arms, and legs pop like balloons; his shell lands on the floor. His eyes grow back]'' Time to get to the bottom of this! ''[scene cuts to nighttime outside the Chum Bucket, where there is a long line. He and SpongeBob are wearing fancy attire as they enter the Chum Bucket]'' Whoo... ''[they see the exquisite restaurant]'' Just act like you're another fancy customer.}}
*'''Karen:''' Your name?
{{L|SpongeBob|Aye aye, Mr. Kra- ''[Mr. Krabs covers his mouth]''}}
*'''Mr. Krabs:''' I be Eugene....er....I mean, uh, ''(looks at the used ketchup wrapper on the floor)'' Sir Krumple O'Wrapper. Uh, that's my name. Don't wear it out.
{{L|Mr. Krabs|Shhhh ''[stammers]'', what's gotten into you?! ''[whispers]'' High fo-looting customers don't bark on the top of their lungs like a sea dog!}}
*'''Karen:''' Alright, let's pull up your reservation. ''(looks through the reservation sheet)'' Oh, I'm so sorry, sir. I'm not showing any "O'Wrapper."
{{L|SpongeBob|Oops. ''[clears throat]'' I mean, ''[British accent]'' I fancy a bit of the old chum. Indeed, I do, squire. ''[he and Mr. Krabs approach Karen]''}}
*'''Mr. Krabs:''' Reservation? In this sinkhole?!
{{L|Mr. Krabs|Good evening, madame. Table for two please. ''[softly elbows SpongeBob and winks]''}}
*'''Karen:''' There's a two-year wait for a table.
{{L|Karen|Your name?}}
*'''Squidward:''' What's seems to be the problem? Well, well, well, ''(blows Mr. Krabs and SpongeBob's disguises off their faces with a fan)'' if it isn't Mr. Krabs and SpongeBob. Now just follow me. I believe I have a table reserved just for you. ''(the 'table' that Squidward 'reserved' for Mr. Krabs and SpongeBob turns out to be a toilet. Squidward puts a tablecloth on the toilet)'' Bon Appetit, Suckers! ''(laughs at them as he walks away. Soon, everyone joins in the humiliation by laughing at Mr. Krabs and SpongeBob as they leave the restaurant in sadness)'' See you in two years! ''(laughs and scoffs at them)''
{{L|Mr. Krabs|I be Eugene Kra- uhhh... I mean, uhhh... ''[looks at a crumpled wrapper on the floor]'' Sir Crumpled Ol' Wrapper. Eh, that's me name. Don't wear it out.}}
*'''Plankton:''' Yeah, see how you like it, Krabs! ''(laughs along with Squidward as Mr. Krabs and SpongeBob leave)''
{{L|Karen|All right. ''[looks at the notepad]'' Let's pull up your reservation. Oop, I'm so sorry, sir. I'm not showing any "Ol' Wrapper".}}
*'''French Narrator:''' One week later.... ''(cuts to a long line at Le Chum Bucket. Squidward continues to sign his fan's autograph book)''
{{L|Mr. Krabs|Reservation?! In this sinkhole?! ''[his monocle comes off]''}}
*'''Nancy-Suzy Fish''': I was here first!
{{L|Karen|There's a two-year wait for a table.}}
*'''Tyler:''' No, I was!
{{L|Squidward|What seems to be the problem? Well, well, well, ''[blows Mr. Krabs and SpongeBob's disguises off their faces with a fan]'' if it isn't Mr. Krabs and SpongeBob. Now just follow me. I believe I have a table reserved just for you. ''[the 'table' that Squidward 'reserved' for Mr. Krabs and SpongeBob turns out to be a toilet. Squidward puts a tablecloth on the toilet]'' Bon Appetit, Suckers! ''[laughs at them as he walks away. Soon, everyone joins in the humiliation by laughing at Mr. Krabs and SpongeBob as they leave the restaurant in sadness]'' See you in two years! ''[laughs and scoffs at them]''}}
*'''Squidward:''' One at a time, please.
{{L|Plankton|Yeah, see how you like it Krabs! ''[laughs]''}}
*'''Nancy-Suzy Fish:''' Oh, Mr. Tentacles, it's so nice to finally meet you!
{{L|''[the whole crowd laughs at them while they walk away in misery]''}}
*'''Squidward:''' Yes, isn't it? ''(signs her autograph book with Squidward's picture on it)'' Next? Whoa! ''(notices the line is becoming long and slow)'' Plankton!
{{L|French Narrator| One week later...}}
*'''Plankton:''' ''(frying the chum fricassee in nuggets)'' Yeah, what's up?
{{L|''[shows a line of Squidward's fans]''}}
*'''Squidward:''' Are you not seeing the line of people out there?! What's the hold-up with the new batch of Fricassee?!
{{L|Nancy-Suzy Fish|I was here first!}}
*'''Plankton:''' What's the hold-up? You said it took exactly 24 hours. ''(points to the machine with the cooking time at a few minutes before 24 hours)''
{{L|Tyler|No, I was!}}
*'''Squidward:''' I don't care if it isn't finished! Just take the orders!
{{L|Squidward|One at a time, please.}}
*'''Plankton:''' But I haven't even sauteed it yet. Whatever you say. ''(cuts to Mr. Krabs and SpongeBob sitting alone on the curb)''
{{L|Nancy-Suzy Fish|Oh, Mr. Tentacles, it's so nice to finally meet you!}}
*'''Mr. Krabs:''' ''(sniffs)'' What am I gonna do? What am I gonna do? ''(cries as SpongeBob comforts him)''
{{L|Squidward|Yes, isn't it? ''[signs her autograph book with Squidward's picture on it]'' Next? Whoa! ''[notices the line is becoming long and slow]'' Plankton!}}
*'''SpongeBob:''' Oh, sir, I'm sure that the new Chum Fricassee can't taste better than a Krabby Patty. ''(cuts to a customer walking out of Le Chum Bucket with leftover in his bag)''
{{L|Plankton|''[frying the chum fricassee in nuggets]'' Yeah, what's up?}}
*'''Plankton:''' Thank you, sir. Come again. Enjoy your leftovers.
{{L|Squidward|Are you not seeing the line of people out there?! What's the hold-up with the new batch of Fricassee?!}}
*'''Tyler:''' Oh, I will. ''(sees Mr. Krabs crying in agony and grief. Tyler gives Mr. Krabs his leftovers)'' Please, sir. Take my chum. It's the least I can do to help. Poor guys.
{{L|Plankton|What's the hold-up? You said it took exactly 24 hours. ''[points to the machine with the cooking time at about an hour before 24 hours]''}}
*'''Mr Krabs:''' ''(digs into the bag and pulls out the leftover Chum Fricassee)'' You go first, boy.
{{L|Squidward|I don't care if it isn't finished! Just take the orders!}}
*'''SpongeBob:''' ''(takes a bite of the Chum Fricassee)'' Hey, this is great!
{{L|Plankton|But I haven't even sauteed it yet. Whatever you say. ''[cuts to Mr. Krabs and SpongeBob sitting alone on the side of the road]''}}
*'''Mr. Krabs:''' Better than a Krabby Patty?
{{L|Mr. Krabs|''[sniffles]'' What am I gonna do? What am I gonna do? ''[cries as SpongeBob comforts him]''}}
*'''SpongeBob''': A what?
{{L|SpongeBob|Oh, sir, I'm sure that the new Chum Fricassee can't taste better than a Krabby Patty. ''[cuts to a customer walking out of Le Chum Bucket with leftover in his bag]''}}
*'''Mr. Krabs:''' ''(also takes a bite of the Chum Fricassee and gasps)'' This is delicious! No!!!!!! I'm ruined! ''(cries in agony as SpongeBob comforts him)''
{{L|Plankton|Thank you, sir. Come again. Enjoy your leftovers.}}
*'''Squidward:''' ''(Meanwhile, the line keeps getting longer and longer and Squidward continues to serve his Chum Fricassee to his customers and fans)'' Here you go, folks. Enjoy my world famous Fricassee. ''(All of a sudden, someone bursts through the front door which turns out to be Squidward's grandmother and she's not very happy)'' Grandma!
{{L|Tyler|Oh, I will. ''[sees Mr. Krabs crying in agony and grief. Tyler gives Mr. Krabs his leftovers]'' Please, sir. Take my chum. It's the least I can do to help. Poor guys.}}
*'''Grandma Tentacles:''' ''(enters the restaurant and corners her grandson by the kitchen doors)'' Someone's been cooking my recipe ''(sniffs)'' and they're doing it wrong!
{{L|Mr. Krabs|''[digs into the bag and pulls out the leftover Chum Fricassee]'' You go first, boy.}}
*'''Squidward:''' What are you doing here?
{{L|SpongeBob|''[takes a bite of the Chum Fricassee]'' Hey, this is great!}}
*'''Grandma Tentacles:''' Saving my recipe from my bumbling grandson! ''(crushes Squidward's foot with her walker)''
{{L|Mr. Krabs|Better than a Krabby Patty?}}
*'''Squidward:''' Ow! I didn't do it! Uh, uh, it was him! ''(points to Plankton)''
{{L|SpongeBob|A what?}}
*'''Plankton:''' What?! Oh, you're not pinning this on me! You said you didn't care if it was ready or not!
{{L|Mr. Krabs|''[also takes a bite of the Chum Fricassee and gasps]'' This is delicious! No! I'm ruined! ''[cries in agony as SpongeBob comforts him]''}}
*'''Squidward:''' Ok, I admit it! I admit it! But—but what's the big deal? ''(Grandma Tentacles crushes his foot with her walker)'' Ow!
{{L|Squidward|''[Meanwhile, the line keeps getting longer and longer and Squidward continues to serve his Chum Fricassee to his customers and fans]'' Here you go, folks. Enjoy my world-famous Fricassee. ''[All of a sudden, someone bursts through the front door, which turns out to be Squidward's paternal grandmother and she's not very happy]'' Grandma!}}
*'''Grandma Tentacles:''' The big deal is when the chum is not cooked for exactly 24 hours, it causes severe tummy trouble!
{{L|Grandma Tentacles|''[enters the restaurant and corners her grandson by the kitchen doors]'' Someone's been cooking my recipe ''[sniffs]'' and they're doing it wrong!}}
*(''Listening to Grandma Tentacles, customers form a mob.'')
{{L|Squidward|What are you doing here?}}
*'''Male Fish:''' You fed us undercooked chum?!
{{L|Grandma Tentacles|Saving my recipe from my bumbling grandson! ''[crushes Squidward's foot with her walker]''}}
*'''Grandma Tentacles:''' Tear him apart, people! (''Customers form a mob and start to attack Squidward. They do an uproar, following what his grandmother says.'')
{{L|Squidward|''[in pain]'' Ow! I didn't do it! Uh, uh, it was him! ''[points to Plankton, who comes out of the kitchen whistling and holding a plate of chum nuggets]''}}
*'''Fred:''' I've had it and I'm not gonna take it anymore! (''Fred picks up a trash can then throws it on a table. Other customers throw their chum meals on the ground and on the wall of the Chum Bucket. Another customer rips apart of an awning. Frank grabs a napkin holder, throwing napkins on the floor. Plankton pops up near the napkins.'')
{{L|Plankton|What?! Oh, ''[throws the nuggets away]'' you're not pinning this on me! You said you didn't care if it was ready or not!}}
*'''Plankton:''' Not the napkins!!! (''Frank doesn't listen to Plankton.'')
{{L|Squidward|Okay, I admit it! I admit it! But... but... but what's the big deal? ''[Grandma Tentacles crushes her grandson’s foot with her walker again]'' Ow!}}
*'''Angry Mob:''' (''An axe chops Squidward's picture in half.'') He got what he deserves, that's what I say! (''Else where in the exterior of Le Chum Bucket, it bursts into flames caused by the mob. As the restaurant is on fire, the customers run out of the bucket building.'') It's on fire! It's all burning! Run! ''(the fire incinerates the restaurant, leaving only Plankton and Squidward standing with charred faces)''
{{L|Grandma Tentacles|The big deal is when the chum is not cooked for exactly 24 hours, it causes severe tummy trouble!}}
*'''Plankton:''' My restaurant! ''(cries)''
{{L|''[The customers hear this, they all get up from their seats, and confront Squidward, furious.]''}}
*'''Squidward:''' My fan base! (''Squidward also cries.'')
{{L|Male Fish|You fed us undercooked chum?!}}
*'''Grandma Tentacles:''' I hope you learned your lesson, genius! ''(crushes Squidward's foot with her walker)''
{{L|Grandma Tentacles|Tear him apart, people!}}
*'''Squidward:''' Ow! ''(cries along with Plankton)''
{{L|''[She walks off while the customers form a mob and start to attack Squidward. They do an uproar, following what his paternal grandmother says.]''}}
*'''SpongeBob:''' ''(cuts to the Krusty Krab)'' Gee, Mr. Krabs, it sure was nice of you to hire Squidward back. Especially since he tried to destroy your business and all.
{{L|Fred|''[carries a trash can]'' I've had it and I'm not gonna take it anymore! ''[Fred throws the trash can on a table. Other customers throw their chum meals on the ground and on the wall of the Chum Bucket. Another customer rips apart of an awning. Frank grabs a napkin holder, throwing napkins on the floor. Plankton pops up near the napkins.]''}}
*'''Mr. Krabs:''' I figure it's the least I can do for him after causing all that mayhem over at the Chum Bucket. In fact, I promoted him. He's our new doormat!
{{L|Plankton|Not the napkins! ''[Frank doesn't listen to Plankton.]''}}
*'''Squidward:''' No! ''(laying on the floor like a doormat as punishment)'' Living the dream! (''Moaning and groaning, some customers who destroyed the Chum Bucket wipe their feet on Squidward.'')
{{L|Angry Mob|''[An ax chops Squidward's picture in half.]'' He got what he deserves, that's what I say! ''[Elsewhere in the exterior of Le Chum Bucket, it bursts into flames caused by the mob. As the restaurant is on fire, the customers run out of the Chum Bucket]'' It's on fire! It's all burning! Run! ''[the fire incinerates the restaurant, leaving only Plankton and Squidward standing with charred faces]''}}
{{L|Plankton|My restaurant! ''[cries]''}}
{{L|Squidward|My fan base! ''[cries harder before his paternal grandmother appears.]''}}
{{L|Grandma Tentacles|I hope you learned your lesson, genius! ''[crushes Squidward's foot with her walker for the third time]''}}
{{L|Squidward|Ow! ''[Plankton and Squidward wail]''}}
{{L|SpongeBob|''[cuts to the Krusty Krab]'' Gee, Mr. Krabs, it sure was nice of you to hire Squidward back. Especially since he tried to destroy your business and all.}}
{{L|Mr. Krabs|I figure it's the least I can do for him after causing all that mayhem over at the Chum Bucket. In fact, I promoted him. He's our new doormat!}}
{{L|Squidward|Ow! ''[laying on the floor like a doormat as punishment]'' Living the dream! ''[Moaning and groaning, some customers who destroyed the Chum Bucket wipe their feet on Squidward.]''}}
[[Category:Articles in need of cleanup]]
[[Category:Transcripts]]

Revision as of 11:17, 12 February 2021

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  • Squidward: Just clock out already!
  • SpongeBob: I'm trying, Squidward, but clocking out is the most upsetting part of the day! [Squidward slaps himself in the face] At least soon, I'll be home where I can relive all the wonderful moments from my day at work. [Flashback, in SpongeBob's house, where he's cooking Krabby Patties, with a bag of flour dressed like Mr. Krabs standing right next to him] I'm all over it, boss man! Order up, Gare-ward! [Gary has a bag on him that has a picture of Squidward on it]
  • Gary: Meow! [Saying yeah-yeah in snail form]
  • SpongeBob: It's just so hard to leave, even for one night! 
  • Squidward: [Squidward takes SpongeBob's ID and clocks both IDs out] I beg to differ. I mean, just look at this place! [Shows Krusty Krab, which is a filthy mess] It's disgusting, not to mention our cheap boss!
  • Mr. Krabs: [Shown trying to get a penny out of the floorboards with a spatula] Woo-hoo! Got it! Hey, who are you calling cheap?
  • Squidward: The guy who won't even spring for a doormat! [Shows door, which has no doormat in front of it]
  • Mr. Krabs: Oh, give me a break, Mr. Complainsalot! As if you would know anything about running a restaurant! [laughs]
  • Squidward: Well, if I did run a restaurant, my exquisite taste and gourmet know-how would have customers waiting in line for years just to get a table!
  • Mr. Krabs: [laughing and chortling] See you fellows tomorrow! Gourmet know-how! [laughing]
  • Squidward: Laugh it up! My knowledge and intelligence could make even the Chum Bucket a success! [Plankton spies on Squidward and SpongeBob and follows them]
  • Plankton: Hey! Hey! Heeeeeeeyyyyy! I'm yelling over here! [Plankton jumps on Squidward]
  • Squidward: Ouch, I think I picked up a tick! [Squidward takes Plankton off the side of his head] Plankton?! What do you want?
  • Plankton: Well, I'd like to take you up on your offer to make the Chum Bucket a success!
  • Squidward: Oh, I don't know about that.
  • Mr. Krabs: I don't value you at all! [laughs]
  • Squidward: I'll do it. [SpongeBob taps Squidward to get his attention]
  • SpongeBob: Don't you think that working at the Chum Bucket and the Krusty Krab is a conflict of interest, Squidward?
  • Squidward: Oh, geez, SpongeBob, I hadn't thought about that! You're right! I quit. (Episode cuts to Squidward entering the Chum Bucket) Eh, a bit industrial, but I can make it work. (Episode cuts to the Chum Bucket kitchen) You call this a kitchen? We should start by tearing out this wall so the chef is visible to his adoring fans!
  • Karen: Great! Two megalomaniacs.
  • Squidward: I don't see any use for all these old pack traps. We should just break them down for parts. (Squidward tears out the traps)
  • Plankton: But, but that's my chum-fueled antennae massager!
  • Squidward: Oh, I'm sorry! Remind me, who's in complete creative control here?
  • Plankton: Anyone can come in and redecorate, pal, but you still haven't proven how you're gonna make chum edible!
  • Squidward: So I guess the proof is in the pudding, then, isn't it?
  • Plankton: You're making chum pudding?
  • Squidward: I'm making chum fricassee. (Pulls a lever to bring down a big blob of chum to make fricasee)
  • Plankton: Frica-what?
  • Squidward: See, Plankton, there's a trick to making chum edible. (Squidward smells the bad stench of chum) We just have to follow old Grandma Tentacles's secret fricassee recipe.
  • Plankton: Secret recipe, you say, huh? (Plankton pulls out a pencil and pad) What's in it?
  • Squidward: Nice try, tiny Cyclops. You won't get Grandma's delicate mix of seasonings and spices that easily, but preparation cannot be rushed. Each batch must simmer for exactly 24 hours.
  • French Narrator: Twenty-Four hours later....
  • (24 hours later, Plankton is sleeping when Squidward puts a scoop of chum fricassee on his plate)
  • Plankton: Who took my blue blanky? Huh? This is the secret stuff? Doesn't look very promising.
  • Squidward: Oh, just taste it already!
  • Plankton: (Plankton smells the fricassee) Well, the smell doesn't make me retch... (Plankton takes a bite out of the fricassee) Hey, that ain't bad at all! (Takes another bite out of the fricassee) It's actually amazing! (Plankton throws away the spoon and gobbles down the fricasee) This is gold in the form of chum! Squidward, my friend, you'll be the toast of Bikini Bottom! This recipe is going to make you a star.
  • Squidward: A star.
  • Plankton: A star.
  • TV Announcer: Hello, hungry eaters! It's time for... Flavors of the Bottom, a collectible look at dining out in Bikini Bottom, with your host, Perch Perkins!
  • Perch Perkins: Hey, all you bottom-feeders. If you've already eaten, well, you better make room for seconds, because we are tasting Bikini Bottom's sensational, new, upscale eatery, Le Chum Bucket. Look at all those classy diners! What's on the menu? It's called chum fricassee. Earlier, I spoke to head chef Squidward Tentacles. He shared with us why it's such a frica-success.
  • Squidward (on the news): Actually, I can't share the recipe with you. It's a secret.
  • (Episode cuts to the Krusty Krab, where Mr. Krabs is watching the news on TV)
  • Mr. Krabs: What?!
  • Plankton: Ha-ha-ha! That's right, Krabs! Now, we have a secret formula, and it's in a bottle, and you can't have it! Ha-ha!
  • Squidward: Give that back, please. (Squidward snatches the recipe from Plankton) Thank you.
  • Plankton: Secret!!!!
  • Perch Perkins: Well, it's clearly no secret....
  • Fred: Say, "Fricassee." (takes picture of himself along with his bride and Squidward)
  • Perch Perkins: ..... that Le Chum Bucket is a hit.
  • Customers: Chef Squidward, Chef Squidward! Will you sign this please? (holds up their dishes with Squidward's Chum Fricasse on them)
  • Squidward: Anything for my fans.
  • Mr. Krabs: This is mutiny! And the public is actually eating it! Well, at least our loyal clientele haven't jumped on the chum wagon.
  • SpongeBob: Don't speak too soon, Mr. Krabs. (The Krusty Krab looks empty)
  • Mr. Krabs: So, we're having a slow day. At least Old Jethra has stuck with us. That Krabby Patty hitting the spot, Jethra?
  • Old Jethra: Actually, they was all filled up at the Chum Bucket, so I had to get my chum to go. (he reveals that he is actually eating Squidward's Chum Fricassee rather than a Krabby Patty) I got it signed by Squidward himself, though.
  • Mr. Krabs: (shocked by what he heard, his eyes, claws, and feet exploded. He then regrows his eyes but in an angry mood) Time to get to the bottom of this. (cuts to Le Chm Bucket with a huge line. Mr. Krabs and SpongeBob enters the restaurant disguised as rich gentlemen) Oohh, just act like another fancy customer.
  • SpongeBob: Aye, aye, Mr. Krabs! (Mr. Krabs covers SpongeBob mouth)
  • Mr. Krabs: Shh! (stammering) What's gotten into you? High-faluting customers don't bark at the top of their lungs like a seadog.
  • SpongeBob: Oops, uh... I mean, I fancy a bit of the old chum. Indeed I do, Squire.
  • Mr. Krabs: Good evening, Madam. Table for two, please?
  • Karen: Your name?
  • Mr. Krabs: I be Eugene....er....I mean, uh, (looks at the used ketchup wrapper on the floor) Sir Krumple O'Wrapper. Uh, that's my name. Don't wear it out.
  • Karen: Alright, let's pull up your reservation. (looks through the reservation sheet) Oh, I'm so sorry, sir. I'm not showing any "O'Wrapper."
  • Mr. Krabs: Reservation? In this sinkhole?!
  • Karen: There's a two-year wait for a table.
  • Squidward: What's seems to be the problem? Well, well, well, (blows Mr. Krabs and SpongeBob's disguises off their faces with a fan) if it isn't Mr. Krabs and SpongeBob. Now just follow me. I believe I have a table reserved just for you. (the 'table' that Squidward 'reserved' for Mr. Krabs and SpongeBob turns out to be a toilet. Squidward puts a tablecloth on the toilet) Bon Appetit, Suckers! (laughs at them as he walks away. Soon, everyone joins in the humiliation by laughing at Mr. Krabs and SpongeBob as they leave the restaurant in sadness) See you in two years! (laughs and scoffs at them)
  • Plankton: Yeah, see how you like it, Krabs! (laughs along with Squidward as Mr. Krabs and SpongeBob leave)
  • French Narrator: One week later.... (cuts to a long line at Le Chum Bucket. Squidward continues to sign his fan's autograph book)
  • Nancy-Suzy Fish: I was here first!
  • Tyler: No, I was!
  • Squidward: One at a time, please.
  • Nancy-Suzy Fish: Oh, Mr. Tentacles, it's so nice to finally meet you!
  • Squidward: Yes, isn't it? (signs her autograph book with Squidward's picture on it) Next? Whoa! (notices the line is becoming long and slow) Plankton!
  • Plankton: (frying the chum fricassee in nuggets) Yeah, what's up?
  • Squidward: Are you not seeing the line of people out there?! What's the hold-up with the new batch of Fricassee?!
  • Plankton: What's the hold-up? You said it took exactly 24 hours. (points to the machine with the cooking time at a few minutes before 24 hours)
  • Squidward: I don't care if it isn't finished! Just take the orders!
  • Plankton: But I haven't even sauteed it yet. Whatever you say. (cuts to Mr. Krabs and SpongeBob sitting alone on the curb)
  • Mr. Krabs: (sniffs) What am I gonna do? What am I gonna do? (cries as SpongeBob comforts him)
  • SpongeBob: Oh, sir, I'm sure that the new Chum Fricassee can't taste better than a Krabby Patty. (cuts to a customer walking out of Le Chum Bucket with leftover in his bag)
  • Plankton: Thank you, sir. Come again. Enjoy your leftovers.
  • Tyler: Oh, I will. (sees Mr. Krabs crying in agony and grief. Tyler gives Mr. Krabs his leftovers) Please, sir. Take my chum. It's the least I can do to help. Poor guys.
  • Mr Krabs: (digs into the bag and pulls out the leftover Chum Fricassee) You go first, boy.
  • SpongeBob: (takes a bite of the Chum Fricassee) Hey, this is great!
  • Mr. Krabs: Better than a Krabby Patty?
  • SpongeBob: A what?
  • Mr. Krabs: (also takes a bite of the Chum Fricassee and gasps) This is delicious! No!!!!!! I'm ruined! (cries in agony as SpongeBob comforts him)
  • Squidward: (Meanwhile, the line keeps getting longer and longer and Squidward continues to serve his Chum Fricassee to his customers and fans) Here you go, folks. Enjoy my world famous Fricassee. (All of a sudden, someone bursts through the front door which turns out to be Squidward's grandmother and she's not very happy) Grandma!
  • Grandma Tentacles: (enters the restaurant and corners her grandson by the kitchen doors) Someone's been cooking my recipe (sniffs) and they're doing it wrong!
  • Squidward: What are you doing here?
  • Grandma Tentacles: Saving my recipe from my bumbling grandson! (crushes Squidward's foot with her walker)
  • Squidward: Ow! I didn't do it! Uh, uh, it was him! (points to Plankton)
  • Plankton: What?! Oh, you're not pinning this on me! You said you didn't care if it was ready or not!
  • Squidward: Ok, I admit it! I admit it! But—but what's the big deal? (Grandma Tentacles crushes his foot with her walker) Ow!
  • Grandma Tentacles: The big deal is when the chum is not cooked for exactly 24 hours, it causes severe tummy trouble!
  • (Listening to Grandma Tentacles, customers form a mob.)
  • Male Fish: You fed us undercooked chum?!
  • Grandma Tentacles: Tear him apart, people! (Customers form a mob and start to attack Squidward. They do an uproar, following what his grandmother says.)
  • Fred: I've had it and I'm not gonna take it anymore! (Fred picks up a trash can then throws it on a table. Other customers throw their chum meals on the ground and on the wall of the Chum Bucket. Another customer rips apart of an awning. Frank grabs a napkin holder, throwing napkins on the floor. Plankton pops up near the napkins.)
  • Plankton: Not the napkins!!! (Frank doesn't listen to Plankton.)
  • Angry Mob: (An axe chops Squidward's picture in half.) He got what he deserves, that's what I say! (Else where in the exterior of Le Chum Bucket, it bursts into flames caused by the mob. As the restaurant is on fire, the customers run out of the bucket building.) It's on fire! It's all burning! Run! (the fire incinerates the restaurant, leaving only Plankton and Squidward standing with charred faces)
  • Plankton: My restaurant! (cries)
  • Squidward: My fan base! (Squidward also cries.)
  • Grandma Tentacles: I hope you learned your lesson, genius! (crushes Squidward's foot with her walker)
  • Squidward: Ow! (cries along with Plankton)
  • SpongeBob: (cuts to the Krusty Krab) Gee, Mr. Krabs, it sure was nice of you to hire Squidward back. Especially since he tried to destroy your business and all.
  • Mr. Krabs: I figure it's the least I can do for him after causing all that mayhem over at the Chum Bucket. In fact, I promoted him. He's our new doormat!
  • Squidward: No! (laying on the floor like a doormat as punishment) Living the dream! (Moaning and groaning, some customers who destroyed the Chum Bucket wipe their feet on Squidward.)
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