Culture Shock/transcript: Difference between revisions
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{{L|Squidward|Uh-uh... Yes, sir?}} | {{L|Squidward|Uh-uh... Yes, sir?}} | ||
{{L|Mr. Krabs|There's gonna be some changes around here. ''[Incidental 4 walks in. Mr. Krabs gasps]'' A customer! Welcome to the Krusty Krab! ''[runs up to Incidental 4 with a chair and seats him. Brings him back to the table]'' SpongeBob, cater to his every whim. And don't screw this one up.}} | {{L|Mr. Krabs|There's gonna be some changes around here. ''[Incidental 4 walks in. Mr. Krabs gasps]'' A customer! Welcome to the Krusty Krab! ''[runs up to Incidental 4 with a chair and seats him. Brings him back to the table]'' SpongeBob, cater to his every whim. And don't screw this one up.}} | ||
{{L|SpongeBob|Aye aye sir! Welcome aboard, sir! Here at the Krusty Krab, ''you'' are the captain, and I am your cabin boy. You just say the word and I will throw myself in the brig! May I take your order?}} | {{L|SpongeBob|Aye aye sir! Welcome aboard, sir! Here at the Krusty Krab, '''''you''''' are the captain, and '''''I''''' am your cabin boy. You just say the word and I will throw myself in the brig! May I take your order?}} | ||
{{L|Incidental 4|All I wanted was change for the payphone. ''[shows the dollar]''}} | {{L|Incidental 4|All I wanted was change for the payphone. ''[shows the dollar]''}} | ||
{{L|SpongeBob|Aye-aye, sir! ''[runs off quickly and comes back with change. Talking in a French accent]'' Monsieur's chángé. ''[snaps his fingers]''}} | {{L|SpongeBob|Aye-aye, sir! ''[runs off quickly and comes back with change. Talking in a French accent]'' Monsieur's chángé. ''[snaps his fingers]''}} | ||
{{L|Incidental 4|Thanks. ''[laughs nervously and leaves a penny on the table]'' Here you go. ''[runs off as Mr. Krabs smells the penny]''}} | {{L|Incidental 4|Thanks. ''[laughs nervously and leaves a penny on the table]'' Here you go. ''[runs off as Mr. Krabs smells the penny]''}} | ||
{{L|Mr. Krabs|Yah! ''[jumps on it. Later, Mr. Krabs | {{L|Mr. Krabs|Yah! ''[jumps on it. Later, Mr. Krabs puts the penny away in his safe in his office and is with Squidward and SpongeBob]'' Now as you may have noticed, profits are way down this month. ''[pulls down a chart with zig-zag lines going down and his eyes sticking out on each side]'' We've got to think of a gimmick to bring in customers. ''[pulls the chart up]'' Do you lubbers have any ideas?}} | ||
{{L|SpongeBob|I've got one! ''[takes out a tray with a soda and a pair of socks on it]'' A free pair of socks with every purchase! Or maybe 'Double Patty Midnight Madness'! Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh! I know! I know! I know! How about 'mouth full of clams' day! Everyone who shows up with a mouthful of clams... ''[talks with mouth full of clams]'' ...gets a free drink! Huh? Huh?}} | {{L|SpongeBob|I've got one! ''[takes out a tray with a soda and a pair of socks on it]'' A free pair of socks with every purchase! Or maybe 'Double Patty Midnight Madness'! Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh! I know! I know! I know! How about 'mouth full of clams' day! Everyone who shows up with a mouthful of clams... ''[talks with mouth full of clams]'' ...gets a free drink! Huh? Huh?}} | ||
{{L|Mr. Krabs|Well, uhh, I was | {{L|Mr. Krabs|Well, uhh, I was thinkin’ more along the lines of live entertainment. ''[Squidward gasps]''}} | ||
{{L|Squidward|That's it, a floor show! Wait, a talent show! With your host, me! ''[runs up to Mr. Krabs with stars in his eyes]'' This is the moment I've... ''[eyes return to normal]'' I mean, we've been dreaming of. Think of it, Mr. Krabs, you will be responsible for bringing culture to this cultural wasteland we call Bikini Bottom! And not to mention, the money.}} | {{L|Squidward|That's it, a floor show! Wait, a talent show! With your host, me! ''[runs up to Mr. Krabs with stars in his eyes]'' This is the moment I've... ''[eyes return to normal]'' I mean, we've been dreaming of. Think of it, Mr. Krabs, you will be responsible for bringing culture to this cultural wasteland we call Bikini Bottom! And not to mention, the money.}} | ||
{{L|Mr. Krabs|The money? ''[Squidward is lying on the table]''}} | {{L|Mr. Krabs|The money? ''[Squidward is lying on the table]''}} | ||
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{{L|SpongeBob|Hoppin' clams! A talent show! I'm talented! I'd better call my folks! ''[runs off as Squidward and Mr. Krabs shake hands]''}} | {{L|SpongeBob|Hoppin' clams! A talent show! I'm talented! I'd better call my folks! ''[runs off as Squidward and Mr. Krabs shake hands]''}} | ||
{{L|Mr. Krabs|Squidward, you've got a deal. Make my little girl a star! ''[later, the restaurant is being redecorated for the show. Squidward is writing notes on a notepad.]''}} | {{L|Mr. Krabs|Squidward, you've got a deal. Make my little girl a star! ''[later, the restaurant is being redecorated for the show. Squidward is writing notes on a notepad.]''}} | ||
{{L|SpongeBob|Hey Squidward, what time am I | {{L|SpongeBob|Hey Squidward, what time am I goin’ on?}} | ||
{{L|Squidward|Going on what?}} | {{L|Squidward|Going on what?}} | ||
{{L|SpongeBob|The show! When am I | {{L|SpongeBob|The show! When am I goin’ on the show? I have a great act!}} | ||
{{L|Squidward|What talent could you possibly possess? ''[SpongeBob blows a big bubble which turns into a hippo. Then blows two small bubbles for the hat and cane. Both dance]''}} | {{L|Squidward|What talent could you possibly possess? ''[SpongeBob blows a big bubble which turns into a hippo. Then blows two small bubbles for the hat and cane. Both dance]''}} | ||
{{L|SpongeBob|Ta-da! ''[Squidward yawns]''}} | {{L|SpongeBob|Ta-da! ''[Squidward yawns]''}} | ||
{{L|Squidward|No one, not even your parents, would want to see that. ''[hippo bubble pops]'' What the people want is culture, not dancing bubbles.}} | {{L|Squidward|No one, not even your parents, would want to see that. ''[hippo bubble pops]'' What the people want is culture, not dancing bubbles.}} | ||
{{L|SpongeBob|Ok, I get it. Don't worry, Squidward, I'm going to come up with the most cultured act ever!}} | {{L|SpongeBob|Ok, I get it. Don't worry, Squidward, I'm going to come up with the most cultured act ever!}} | ||
{{L|Squidward|I can hardly wait. ''[SpongeBob runs off]'' Phew. The only culture that guy has is in his tennis shoes. ''[laughs]'' Tennis shoes. I crack myself up. ''[ | {{L|Squidward|I can hardly wait. ''[SpongeBob runs off]'' Phew. The only culture that guy has is in his tennis shoes. ''[laughs]'' Tennis shoes. I crack myself up. ''[bubble translation to the night of the talent show where people are outside conducting interviews and people inside are talking and getting set-up]''}} | ||
{{L|Incidental 95|''[Talking in the background]'' We are now at the Krusty Krab Talent Show featuring the finest talent in the town...}} | {{L|Incidental 95|''[Talking in the background]'' We are now at the Krusty Krab Talent Show featuring the finest talent in the town...}} | ||
{{L|SpongeBob|''[peeks out from behind the curtain]'' Wow! A full house! ''[gasps]'' There's Mom and Dad! They are gonna be so proud! ''[Mr. Krabs shakes | {{L|SpongeBob|''[peeks out from behind the curtain]'' Wow! A full house! ''[gasps]'' There's Mom and Dad! They are gonna be so proud! ''[Mr. Krabs shakes Harold SquarePants' hand]''}} | ||
{{L|Mr. Krabs|Hello, I'm Mr. Krabs, and I like money.}} | {{L|Mr. Krabs|Hello, I'm Mr. Krabs, and I like money.}} | ||
{{L|SpongeBob|I gotta get ready! ''[Squidward gets everyone's attention]''}} | {{L|SpongeBob|I gotta get ready! ''[Squidward gets everyone's attention]''}} | ||
{{L|Squidward|Alright, people, listen up. Gather around everyone, chop, chop. ''[performers gather around]'' Now, you may be thinking this is your one shot at the big time. Well, it's not. It's mine.}} | {{L|Squidward|Alright, people, listen up. Gather around everyone, chop, chop. ''[performers gather around]'' Now, you may be thinking this is your one shot at the big time. Well, it's not. It's '''''mine'''''.}} | ||
{{L|SpongeBob|Hey, Squid! How about this for the show? ''[runs off and runs back with a tub full of water and the words 'Mister Absorbency' written on the front]'' The Amazing Mister Absorbency! ''[puts his finger in the water and absorbs it. Absorbs the water into his legs]'' Ta-da! ''[absorbs water into his head]'' Ta-da!}} | {{L|SpongeBob|Hey, Squid! How about this for the show? ''[runs off and runs back with a tub full of water and the words 'Mister Absorbency' written on the front]'' The Amazing Mister Absorbency! ''[puts his finger in the water and absorbs it. Absorbs the water into his legs]'' Ta-da! ''[absorbs water into his head]'' Ta-da!}} | ||
{{L|Squidward|No one is | {{L|Squidward|No one is gonna wanna see you engorge yourself.}} | ||
{{L|SpongeBob|''[grabs Squidward's legs]'' Please, Squidward, let me be in the show! I'll do anything! Anything! Anything!}} | |||
{{L|Squidward|So you really | {{L|Squidward|So you really wanna be in the show?}} | ||
{{L|SpongeBob|Oh, yes!}} | {{L|SpongeBob|Oh, yes!}} | ||
{{L|Squidward|Okay, you get to mop up afterwards. ''[hands SpongeBob a mop]'' Now will you stop bugging me? ''[walks off]''}} | {{L|Squidward|Okay, you get to mop up afterwards. ''[hands SpongeBob a mop]'' Now will you stop bugging me? ''[walks off]''}} | ||
{{L|SpongeBob|So, this is what it feels like... the big time! With this mop, I shape my destiny! ''[show starts and crowd applauds. Squidward comes out and gets the cue cards that are in his tuxedo]''}} | {{L|SpongeBob|So, this is what it feels like... the big time! With this mop, I shape my destiny! ''[show starts and crowd applauds. Squidward comes out and gets the cue cards that are in his tuxedo]''}} | ||
{{L|Squidward|Good evening and welcome to the 1st annual Squidward Tentacles Talent Show. Sponsored by the Krusty Krab, home of the Krabby Patty, because no one else would give it a home. ''[Patrick laughs]'' Thank you. Our next act is living proof that nepotism is alive and well. ''[Patrick laughs again]'' Put your fins together for... ''[Patrick cracks up laughing very hard. Bashes on the table with laughter, shaking dinnerware. He falls off his chair]'' Put your... ''[Patrick laughs]'' Put... ''[Patrick laughs]'' Pearl. ''[crowd claps as curtain rises for Pearl, dressed in cheerleader uniform]''}} | {{L|Squidward|Good evening and welcome to the 1st annual Squidward Tentacles Talent Show. Sponsored by the Krusty Krab, home of the Krabby Patty, because no one else would give it a home. ''[Patrick laughs]'' Thank you. Our next act is living proof that nepotism is alive and well. ''[Patrick laughs again]'' Put your fins together for... ''[Patrick cracks up laughing very hard. Bashes on the table with laughter, shaking dinnerware. He falls off his chair]'' Put your... ''[Patrick laughs]'' Put... ''[Patrick laughs]'' '''''Pearl'''''. ''[crowd claps as curtain rises for Pearl, dressed in cheerleader uniform]''}} | ||
{{L|Mr. Krabs|Hooray! My little girl is finally a star.}} | {{L|Mr. Krabs|Hooray! My little girl is finally a star.}} | ||
{{L|Pearl|Give me a K-R-U! ''[jumps up and down on the stage causing the crowd to fly up and down with her]'' Give me a S-T-Y! ''[jumps up and down again]'' Krusty Krab! ''[jumps up and down]'' Krusty Krab! ''[jumps up and down]'' Krusty Krab! ''[jumps up and down]''}} | {{L|Pearl|Give me a K-R-U! ''[jumps up and down on the stage causing the crowd to fly up and down with her]'' Give me a S-T-Y! ''[jumps up and down again]'' Krusty Krab! ''[jumps up and down]'' Krusty Krab! ''[jumps up and down]'' Krusty Krab! ''[jumps up and down]''}} | ||
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{{L|Gary|''[clears throat]'' Meow. Meow. Meow. Meow. Meow. Meow.}} | {{L|Gary|''[clears throat]'' Meow. Meow. Meow. Meow. Meow. Meow.}} | ||
{{L|Sandy|''[with awe]'' Oh, he has such a way with words.}} | {{L|Sandy|''[with awe]'' Oh, he has such a way with words.}} | ||
{{L|Squidward|''[checks his watch]'' Come on, come on, Ginsburg, if he doesn't hurry it up, we're not | {{L|Squidward|''[checks his watch]'' Come on, come on, Ginsburg, if he doesn't hurry it up, we're not gonna have time for the best act... '''''me!''''' ''[SpongeBob walks up]''}} | ||
{{L|SpongeBob|Squidward, should I use Mr. Cleanser or Dr. Clean?}} | {{L|SpongeBob|Squidward, should I use Mr. Cleanser or Dr. Clean?}} | ||
{{L|Squidward|Yes. ''[audience applauds as curtain opens, revealing Plankton in a magician costume and a sign that says 'The Amazing Plankton!']''}} | {{L|Squidward|Yes. ''[audience applauds as curtain opens, revealing Plankton in a magician costume and a sign that says 'The Amazing Plankton!']''}} | ||
{{L|Plankton|I, the amazing Plankton, with the use of prestidigitation... ''[turns his wand into flowers]'' ...will make a Krabby Patty disappear before your very eyes. ''[ | {{L|Plankton|I, the amazing Plankton, with the use of prestidigitation... ''[turns his wand into flowers]'' ...will make a Krabby Patty disappear before your very eyes. ''[throws the flowers aside]'' First, I'll need a volunteer from the audience. ''[jumps onto a table and grabs the Krabby Patty from the Touppe fish. Runs toward the door, but Krabs stops Plankton]''}} | ||
{{L|Mr. Krabs|Nice try. Your act's over, bub. ''[grabs the patty]''}} | {{L|Mr. Krabs|Nice try. Your act's over, bub. ''[grabs the patty]''}} | ||
{{L|Plankton|You may win this time. | {{L|Plankton|You may win this time. Shi-ya Ka-zing! ''[he claps his hands and ignites into a mini-explosion. The smoke from the explosion clears and he is completely charred]'' Well, this stinks. ''[he walks off to the Chum Bucket and is booed. Mr. Krabs runs up to Squidward backstage, leaving a trail of flames]''}} | ||
{{L|Mr. Krabs|Squidward! ''[Literally races towards him, like an over speeding race car]'' This show is a disaster! You're | {{L|Mr. Krabs|Squidward! ''[Literally races towards him, like an over speeding race car]'' This show is a disaster! You're ruinin’ me!}} | ||
{{L|Squidward|Now, now, don't you worry, Mr. Krabs. I've saved the best for last, you'll see.}} | {{L|Squidward|Now, now, don't you worry, Mr. Krabs. I've saved the best for last, you'll see.}} | ||
{{L|Mr. Krabs|For your sake, I hope you're right. ''[bunch of spot lights gleam around Krusty Krab]''}} | {{L|Mr. Krabs|For your sake, I hope you're '''''right'''''. ''[bunch of spot lights gleam around Krusty Krab]''}} | ||
{{L|Squidward|And now, ladies and gentlemen, the moment you've all been waiting for. We've saved the best for last. Put your hands together for... ''[all streamers, confetti and purple, pink and blue balloons fall everywhere]'' the incomparable Squidward! ''['Squidward Live' words blink in pink and green lights as the crowd applauds. Curtain opens and the background shows a canyon. Squidward dances with birds, accompanied by classical music. Then, the lights go dark and music becomes techno as Squidward dances weirdly. Makes weird noises as he dances after the first part of his dance.]''}} | {{L|Squidward|And now, ladies and gentlemen, the moment you've all been waiting for. We've saved the best for last. Put your hands together for... ''[all streamers, confetti and purple, pink and blue balloons fall everywhere]'' the incomparable Squidward! ''['Squidward Live' words blink in pink and green lights as the crowd applauds. Curtain opens and the background shows a canyon. Squidward dances with birds, accompanied by classical music. Then, the lights go dark and music becomes techno as Squidward dances weirdly. Makes weird noises as he dances after the first part of his dance.]''}} | ||
{{L|Incidental F4|What the...?!}} | {{L|Incidental F4|'''''What the...?!'''''}} | ||
{{L|''[Squidward continues to make weird noises and dance weirdly. Crowd is booing and they throw tomatoes at Squidward]''}} | {{L|''[Squidward continues to make weird noises and dance weirdly. Crowd is booing and they throw tomatoes at Squidward]''}} | ||
{{L|Mr. Krabs|I'm | {{L|Mr. Krabs|I'm losin’ money on this deal! ''[puts a $1.00 sticker over the free sign on the salad bar. Grins.]''}} | ||
{{L|Fred|It's worth every penny. ''[everyone runs up to Mr. Krabs with dollar bills in hand]''}} | {{L|Fred|It's worth '''''every penny'''''. ''[everyone runs up to Mr. Krabs with dollar bills in hand]''}} | ||
{{L|Squidward|You bottom feeders! You don't even know talent!}} | {{L|Squidward|You bottom feeders! You don't even '''''know talent!'''''}} | ||
{{L|Crowd|No talent! No talent! No talent! No talent! ''[curtain closes as Squidward leaves in frustration and anger]''}} | {{L|Crowd|No talent! No talent! No talent! No talent! ''[curtain closes as Squidward leaves in frustration and anger]''}} | ||
{{L|SpongeBob|Hey, Squidward, can I go on now?}} | {{L|SpongeBob|Hey, Squidward, can I go on now?}} | ||
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{{L|Mrs. SquarePants|Oh, my son's a star!}} | {{L|Mrs. SquarePants|Oh, my son's a star!}} | ||
{{L|Mr. SquarePants|Who ever knew he had such talent?}} | {{L|Mr. SquarePants|Who ever knew he had such talent?}} | ||
{{L|Mr. Krabs|I'll be | {{L|Mr. Krabs|I'll be needin’ another wheelbarrow for next week's show! ''[crowd throws flowers at SpongeBob]''}} | ||
[[ru:Культурный шок/Стенограмма]] | [[ru:Культурный шок/Стенограмма]] | ||
[[Category:Transcripts]] | [[Category:Transcripts]] | ||
Revision as of 20:38, 15 February 2023
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