Driven to Tears/transcript: Difference between revisions
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Narrator | {{L|Narrator|A very special day in Bikini Bottom!!}} | ||
{{L|SpongeBob|I'm ready! ''[walking up to Mrs. Puff's Boating School with Patrick]'' I'm ready! I'm ready! Patrick, did you bring my flashcards?}} | |||
{{L|Patrick|Right here, buddy. ''[takes them out of his pocket]'' Everything you need to pass the test is on these cards. ''[eats the cards]'' Mmm.}} | |||
{{L|SpongeBob|No, Patrick!}} | |||
{{L|Patrick|Hey, learning tastes good.}} | |||
{{L|SpongeBob|Patrick, I needed those.}} | |||
{{L|Patrick|Oh, fiddlesticks. You've taken that driving test more times than anyone.}} | |||
{{L|SpongeBob|57 times.}} | |||
{{L|Patrick|Well, then 58 is your lucky number. You're gonna pass that driving test, SpongeBob, because you're a winner.}} | |||
{{L|SpongeBob|I'm a winner?}} | |||
{{L|Patrick|Who's a winner?}} | |||
{{L|SpongeBob|''[sadly]'' I'm a winner.}} | |||
{{L|Patrick|Who's a winner?}} | |||
{{L|SpongeBob|''[cheered up a little]'' I'm a winner.}} | |||
{{L|Patrick|Who's a winner?!}} | |||
{{L|SpongeBob|I'm a winner! I'm a winner! I'm a winner! ''[runs into the classroom]''}} | |||
{{L|Narrator|One minute thirty seven seconds later... ''[SpongeBob walks up crying]''}} | |||
{{L|Patrick|How'd you do, winner? ''[crying continues]'' Let's see that license.}} | |||
{{L|SpongeBob|I didn't get a license, Patrick.}} | |||
{{L|Patrick|Are they gonna mail it to you?}} | |||
{{L|SpongeBob|No, Patrick, I failed the boating test. I guess 58 wasn't my lucky number after all.}} | |||
{{L|Patrick|No way! 58 is like the luckiest number ever! The test must be rigged.}} | |||
''' | {{L|SpongeBob|Let's just go home, Patrick.}} | ||
{{L|Patrick|We're not going anywhere until I get to the bottom of this. I'm taking that test, myself.}} | |||
{{L|SpongeBob|''[hanging onto Patrick's pants]'' No, Patrick! I've been training for years. They'll eat you alive. ''[Patrick's pants rip off]''}} | |||
{{L|Patrick|Please, SpongeBob. I think I know what I'm doing.}} | |||
{{L|SpongeBob|No, Patrick. No!}} | |||
{{L|Mrs. Puff|''[Patrick walks up to the boat she is sitting in and gets in it, in his underwear]'' Good morning.}} | |||
{{L|Patrick|You're not the judge of me.}} | |||
{{L|Mrs. Puff|Actually, I am. Let the testing begin! ''[clicks pen. Scene cuts to SpongeBob, outside the boating school]''}} | |||
{{L|SpongeBob|I shouldn't have let him do it. What kind of friend am I?}} | |||
{{L|Patrick|SpongeBob! SpongeBob!}} | |||
{{L|SpongeBob|I'm here for you, buddy.}} | |||
{{L|Patrick|I passed my test!}} | |||
{{L|SpongeBob|You got a perfect score?}} | |||
{{L|Patrick|Yeah, I thought you said it was hard.}} | |||
{{L|SpongeBob|Perfect score. ''[eye twitches]''}} | |||
{{L|Patrick|Come on, I'm gonna get my picture taken for my new license. ''[scene cuts to the license registration building]''}} | |||
{{L|Lady|Stand behind the line, sir.}} | |||
{{L|Patrick|''[smiling]'' How do I look?}} | |||
{{L|SpongeBob|''[sarcastically]'' Like a winner.}} | |||
{{L|Lady|Ready?}} | |||
{{L|Patrick|Ready. ''[banner comes down which says "CONGRATULATIONS" on it. Balloons and confetti fall]''}} | |||
{{L|SpongeBob|Huh?}} | |||
{{L|Fish|Congratulations, Mr. Star. You're the one millionth person to pass the test.}} | |||
{{L|Patrick|Does that mean I get a free key chain?}} | |||
{{L|Fish|Uhh, no.}} | |||
{{L|Patrick|Oh.}} | |||
{{L|Fish|You get a brand-new boat mobile. The new Bass Blaster 3000. The ultimate boating machine.}} | |||
{{L|Patrick|Yeah! All right!}} | |||
{{L|Fish|Women will want you. ''[all sigh]'' Men will want to be you. ''[all sigh]'' You'll be the envy of your friends. ''[SpongeBob groans]''}} | |||
{{L|Patrick|Isn't this great? I got my license and a new boat.}} | |||
{{L|SpongeBob|I'm so happy for you... ''["La Cucaracha" horn blows in his face]'' Whoa!}} | |||
{{L|Patrick|The horn works. ''[scene cuts to Patrick driving his new boat down the road]'' Whoo! This is the greatest day ever. Right, SpongeBob?}} | |||
{{L|SpongeBob|Right, Patrick. I can't think of one thing that would make this day better. Except maybe getting my license.}} | |||
{{L|Patrick|Maybe if you apply yourself you could be the two millionth person to get his license.}} | |||
{{L|SpongeBob|Two millionth?}} | |||
{{L|Patrick|Then you can get a free boat just like me.}} | |||
{{L|SpongeBob|Yeah, just like you.}} | |||
{{L|Patrick|I try to serve as an inspiration to others.}} | |||
{{L|SpongeBob|Can we go home now? ''[zoom out and scene shows Patrick driving around his rock over and over]'' We've been driving around your house for hours.}} | |||
{{L|Patrick|I know. It's a lot faster than walking, isn't it?}} | |||
{{L|SpongeBob|Thanks for the ride, Patrick.}} | |||
{{L|Patrick|No problem, buddy. You can't help being a...pedestrian. ''[shudders then drives off. SpongeBob imitates Patrick. Scene cuts to SpongeBob in bed asleep. His clock turns to 3:00am when an engine revving is heard which sends SpongeBob into his diving board then back into his bed]''}} | |||
{{L|SpongeBob|Patrick, what are you doing?}} | |||
{{L|Patrick|I'm trying to work on my boat mobile. Now could you keep it down? It's 3:00 in the morning, people are trying to sleep. ''[SpongeBob groans and shuts his window then goes back to bed. Scene cuts to 4:00am]''}} | |||
{{L|SpongeBob|4:00? ''[yawns. Doorbell rings]'' Who could be at the door at this hou-- ''[falls down the stairs. Opens the door]'' Now what is it, Patrick?}} | |||
{{L|Patrick|You will never guess what happen to me today.}} | |||
{{L|SpongeBob|You got your license.}} | |||
{{L|Patrick|Yeah! ''[shows his license]'' But that's not all.}} | |||
{{L|SpongeBob|You got a new boat.}} | |||
{{L|Patrick|Yeah. Have you been following me? You know, you need to get your own life. ''[walks off]''}} | |||
'' | {{L|SpongeBob|''[gets back into bed]'' Oh...I just need a few minutes sleep. ''[foghorn alarm blows]''}} | ||
{{L|Gary|Meow.}} | |||
{{L|SpongeBob|Yes, Gary, I saw his new boat. ''[scene cuts to morning where SpongeBob is leaving home to go to work]'' I'm so tired. ''[horn honks]''}} | |||
{{L|Patrick|Hey, buddy. Need a ride to work?}} | |||
{{L|SpongeBob|Thanks, Patrick, but I'd rather walk to work. ''[tries to take a step but falls down in the process. Scene cuts to Patrick driving SpongeBob to the Krusty Krab]''}} | |||
{{L|Patrick|Boy, I never realized how empty life is without a license.}} | |||
''' | {{L|SpongeBob|Thanks for the ride.}} | ||
{{L|Patrick|No problem, buddy. You can give me rides once you get your license. I mean, if you get your license.}} | |||
''' | {{L|SpongeBob|That's it. I am through driving around with Patrick. If I have to see one more boat mobile...}} | ||
{{L|Mr. Krabs|SpongeBob, you're manning the drive-thru.}} | |||
{{L|SpongeBob|When did we get a drive-thru?}} | |||
{{L|Mr. Krabs|I realized there's a lot of young people on the go these days. They don't have time to sit down and eat. They're too busy out on the open road living their dreams.}} | |||
{{L|SpongeBob|I used to have a dream.}} | |||
{{L|Mr. Krabs|Yeah? I used to have a kidney stone. Everything passes eventually. Now stop dreaming and work for a living.}} | |||
{{L|SpongeBob|''[through headphones]'' Welcome to the Krusty Krab, may I -- ''["La Cucaracha" horn honks]''}} | |||
{{L|Patrick|The horn still works. ''[scene cuts to SpongeBob switching the OPEN sign to CLOSED then walking out of work. Patrick drives up in a racing uniform]'' Hey, SpongeBob.}} | |||
{{L|SpongeBob|What's with the helmet, Patrick?}} | |||
{{L|Patrick|Well, since I'm now an expert driver, I have to keep up my image. ''[clicks tongue]''}} | |||
{{L|SpongeBob|Uh-huh. ''[scene cuts to Patrick driving]''}} | |||
{{L|Patrick|Boy, driving is so easy.}} | |||
{{L|SpongeBob|Oh?}} | |||
{{L|Patrick|Do you want me to give you lessons?}} | |||
{{L|SpongeBob|''[sarcastic]'' Oh, that would be great.}} | |||
{{L|Patrick|Oh! ''[drives over to SpongeBob’s parents]''}} | |||
{{L|SpongeBob|Patrick!}} | |||
{{L|Patrick|Hi, mommy. Hi, daddy.}} | |||
{{L|Mr. SquarePants|Patrick, how many times do we have to tell you we're SpongeBob’s mom and dad, not yours?}} | |||
{{L|Patrick|What? I'm an orphan? Oh, but guess what? I passed my driver's test.}} | |||
{{L|Mrs. SquarePants|That's great, Patrick.}} | |||
{{L|Patrick|SpongeBob failed his test, so don't mention it.}} | |||
{{L|Mrs. SquarePants|Oh, we know how to stay clear of that minefield.}} | |||
{{L|SpongeBob|Mom!}} | |||
{{L|Patrick|Well, I've got to take Mr. Walks-a-lot back home. He's always asking for rides.}} | |||
{{L|SpongeBob|Hey. ''[Patrick drives off]''}} | |||
{{L|Mr. SquarePants|Even Patrick has a license. ''[both parents sigh]''}} | |||
{{L|Patrick|Let's see what this baby can do. ''[steps on the gas. Ride pass a sign that reads 'SPEED LIMIT 40 MPH']''}} | |||
{{L|SpongeBob|Patrick, the speed limit is 40mph.}} | |||
{{L|Patrick|Yeah, yeah.}} | |||
{{L|SpongeBob|''[reads the speedometer]'' 40.5mph? That's almost 41mph. He's speeding. Patrick! Stop this car. ''[car stops next to a policeman]''}} | |||
{{L|Patrick|What? Where? Who?}} | |||
{{L|SpongeBob|Officer, it is my civilian duty to report that the the driver of this vehicle is speeding. Why don't you clock him with your radar gun?}} | |||
{{L|Officer|Umm...ok. ''[uses radar gun. It reads 0mph]'' Actually, he's going 40mph under the limit. So, move along before I run you in, tattletale. ''[drives off]''}} | |||
{{L|SpongeBob|Are you sure you don't want to run him in? ''[scene cuts to Patrick driving. Green light turns red]'' It's a red light, Patrick! ''[Patrick runs through red lights]'' Patrick, you just ran 3 red lights!}} | |||
{{L|Patrick|So?}} | |||
{{L|SpongeBob|You're suppose to stop!}} | |||
{{L|Patrick|I think the driving genius knows what he's doing!}} | |||
{{L|SpongeBob|Driving genius?! Why would a genius make an illegal u-turn... through an orphanage?!}} | |||
{{L|Patrick|They ran for it in time. What are you so mad about?}} | |||
{{L|SpongeBob|I should've gotten that license, and this should be my boat mobile!}} | |||
{{L|Patrick|How can you say that?! If you were my friend, you'd be happy for me getting my license!}} | |||
{{L|SpongeBob|If you were my friend, you wouldn't rub your license in my face!}} | |||
{{L|Patrick|I'm not rubbing my license in your face! This is rubbing my license in your face! ''[takes out license and rubs it in SpongeBob’s face, which makes muffled noises]''}} | |||
{{L|SpongeBob|Oh, give me that! I worked my whole life for this! You don't deserve this! ''[tears up Patrick's license then laughs. The pieces of the license fly into the officers hands]''}} | |||
{{L|Officer|Huh, litterbugs. This is why I joined the force. ''[drives off after SpongeBob & Patrick]''}} | |||
{{L|SpongeBob & Patrick|It's the police!}} | |||
{{L|Officer|''[over speaker]'' Pull it over, litterbug!}} | |||
{{L|Patrick|Litterbug?! No! ''[drives faster]''}} | |||
{{L|Officer|Ooh, I got me a runner. ''[a bunch of police cars are following him]''}} | |||
{{L|SpongeBob|Patrick, what do you think you're doing?}} | |||
{{L|Patrick|I don't know! I don't have a license anymore. ''[drives around cards, through a sign then off a cliff into the front lot of the Bikini Bottom Jail. Scene cuts to courtroom]''}} | |||
{{L|Judge|90 days. I hope you learned a valuable lesson about littering.}} | |||
{{L|Patrick|So long, buddy. Don't forget to feed Gary. Sometimes you forget to feed him.}} | |||
{{L|SpongeBob|What have I done? Patrick can't survive in prison. He's too soft. Wait! ''[runs up to the judge]'' Patrick's innocent. I tore up Patrick's license and threw it out the window. I'm the litterbug. Take me instead.}} | |||
{{L|Judge|Well, considering there's no legal precedent...oh, what the heck. 90 days! ''[SpongeBob is put in jail]''}} | |||
{{L|Narrator|One debt to society later... ''[door buzzes. SpongeBob is let go out of jail where Patrick is waiting for him]''}} | |||
{{L|SpongeBob|Patrick!}} | |||
{{L|Patrick|SpongeBob! ''[both hug]''}} | |||
{{L|SpongeBob|I'm glad you passed the test. I'm glad you have a license. And to prove it, I made you this: Pals 4 Ever. ''[shows him a license plate that reads "PALS 4 EVER"]'' Let's put it on your boat mobile, buddy.}} | |||
{{L|Patrick|Oh, I don't have a boat mobile anymore.}} | |||
{{L|SpongeBob|What?}} | |||
{{L|Patrick|It stopped working so I threw it away. The needle was on E and I figured that must mean end.}} | |||
{{L|SpongeBob|Oh, then what do we do with this? ''[Patrick takes it and puts it on his behind]''}} | |||
{{L|Patrick|How's that?}} | |||
{{L|SpongeBob|Yeah!}} | |||
{{L|Patrick|Ready, buddy?}} | |||
{{L|SpongeBob|Ready, pal. ''[hops on Patrick's shoulders and makes car noises]'' Whoo! Whoo!}} | |||
'' | |||
SpongeBob | |||
[[Category:Episode transcripts]] | [[Category:Episode transcripts]] |
Revision as of 13:02, 26 August 2011
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