Dying for Pie/transcript: Difference between revisions
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{{L|Captain|Heave-ho! ''[Squidward looks out from the window and sees some pirates outside carrying some pies onto the ship]'' If you drop one single slice of me booty, I'll have... your booty!}} | {{L|Captain|Heave-ho! ''[Squidward looks out from the window and sees some pirates outside carrying some pies onto the ship]'' If you drop one single slice of me booty, I'll have... your booty!}} | ||
{{L|Squidward|''[walks outside and talks politely to the pirates]'' Uh... hi, there. Those homemade pies sure look good.}} | {{L|Squidward|''[walks outside and talks politely to the pirates]'' Uh... hi, there. Those homemade pies sure look good.}} | ||
{{L|Pirate|Oh, these aren't homemade, they were made in a factory... a bomb factory. They're bombs.}} | {{L|Pirate|Oh, these aren't homemade, they were made in a factory... a '''''bomb''''' factory. They're bombs.}} | ||
{{L|Squidward|Oh, well, that's too bad. I thought they were pies and I wanted to buy one. ''[holds up money]''}} | {{L|Squidward|Oh, well, that's too bad. I thought they were pies and I wanted to buy one. ''[holds up money]''}} | ||
{{L|Captain|Wait! ''[jumps down off the ship]'' We were just kidding about all that bomb stuff. That'll be 25 bucks, please.}} | {{L|Captain|Wait! ''[jumps down off the ship]'' We were just kidding about all that bomb stuff. That'll be 25 bucks, please.}} | ||
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{{L|Pirates|''[all talking at once]'' Cherry. Apple. Raspberry.}} | {{L|Pirates|''[all talking at once]'' Cherry. Apple. Raspberry.}} | ||
{{L|Squidward|Well, if it'll get old man Mr. Krabs off my back. ''[Gives the captain the money; the captain runs off happily. Cut to Squidward placing the pie on Mr. Krabs' desk]'' Okay, here it is, Mr. Krabs, fresh from the oven. I'll be returning to my life now.}} | {{L|Squidward|Well, if it'll get old man Mr. Krabs off my back. ''[Gives the captain the money; the captain runs off happily. Cut to Squidward placing the pie on Mr. Krabs' desk]'' Okay, here it is, Mr. Krabs, fresh from the oven. I'll be returning to my life now.}} | ||
{{L|Mr. Krabs|Not yet. I | {{L|Mr. Krabs|Not yet. I gotta make sure ya did it right. ''[Grabs a piece of the pie. He is about to put a piece in his mouth]'' Wait a second... this would go '''''great''''' with some milk! ''[while walking to the milk, he trips over a book and the piece of pie flies into the milk, causing an explosion, sending both Squidward and Mr. Krabs out of the Krusty Krab]'' So, ya tried to kill me over a little new-age management, eh?}} | ||
{{L|Squidward|But, Mr. Krabs, I had no idea. I can explain! ''[cut to inside Mr. Krabs' office]''}} | {{L|Squidward|But, Mr. Krabs, I had no idea. I can explain! ''[cut to inside Mr. Krabs' office]''}} | ||
{{L|SpongeBob|Mr. Krabs, are you okay? I heard a... wow, a pie, ''[looks at the card attached to it]'' it's from Squidward! ''[reading]'' "To SpongeBob... Well, here | {{L|SpongeBob|Mr. Krabs, are you okay? I heard a... wow, a pie, ''[looks at the card attached to it]'' it's from Squidward! ''[reading]'' "To SpongeBob... Well, here ya go."}} | ||
{{L|Squidward|And that's what happened!}} | {{L|Squidward|And that's what happened!}} | ||
{{L|Mr. Krabs|25 dollars?! A bomb?!}} | {{L|Mr. Krabs|25 dollars?! A bomb?!}} | ||
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{{L|Squidward|It's not there.}} | {{L|Squidward|It's not there.}} | ||
{{L|SpongeBob|Hey guys. ''[licks his fingers then rubs his tummy]'' Thanks for the pie, Squidward. ''[sings]'' La, la, lalalalalala. ''[skips out]''}} | {{L|SpongeBob|Hey guys. ''[licks his fingers then rubs his tummy]'' Thanks for the pie, Squidward. ''[sings]'' La, la, lalalalalala. ''[skips out]''}} | ||
{{L|Mr. Krabs| | {{L|Mr. Krabs|Ya had to kill 'im. The boy cries ya a sweater of tears... and you kill 'im. How are you gonna live with yourself?}} | ||
{{L|Squidward|Kill him? ''[imagines SpongeBob taking a tray to a customer]''}} | {{L|Squidward|Kill him? ''[imagines SpongeBob taking a tray to a customer]''}} | ||
{{L|SpongeBob|Here's your order, sir.}} | {{L|SpongeBob|Here's your order, sir.}} | ||
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{{L|Squidward|Yes, hello, doctor? Hospital? It won't do any good? Eleven times?! ''[hangs up]'' Oh, he's a goner. How do we tell him? ''[both look out the window and see SpongeBob cheerfully wiping off a table, apparently having forgotten about the earlier incident]''}} | {{L|Squidward|Yes, hello, doctor? Hospital? It won't do any good? Eleven times?! ''[hangs up]'' Oh, he's a goner. How do we tell him? ''[both look out the window and see SpongeBob cheerfully wiping off a table, apparently having forgotten about the earlier incident]''}} | ||
{{L|Mr. Krabs|Don't tell him. That'll only make him feel worse. The way I see it, he's only got till sunset. Why ruin his last day on earth? The lad deserves to enjoy his final hours. ''[walks away]''}} | {{L|Mr. Krabs|Don't tell him. That'll only make him feel worse. The way I see it, he's only got till sunset. Why ruin his last day on earth? The lad deserves to enjoy his final hours. ''[walks away]''}} | ||
{{L|Squidward|''[tears up]'' You're right, Mr. Krabs! ''[sobs]'' I'm gonna make SpongeBob's final hours the best he's ever had! And this time, there's gonna be love! So much, he's gonna drown in it! ''[opens the door then turns around, smiling]'' DROWN IN IT! ''[walks out]''}} | {{L|Squidward|''[tears up]'' You're right, Mr. Krabs! ''[sobs]'' I'm gonna make SpongeBob's final hours the best he's ever had! And this time, there's gonna be love! So much, he's gonna drown in it! ''[opens the door then turns around, smiling]'' '''''DROWN IN IT!''''' ''[walks out]''}} | ||
{{L|Mr. Krabs|''[writes on a notepad]'' Note—to—self: Watch out for Squidward. ''[Cut to Squidward walking over to SpongeBob, who is singing happily and wiping the table]''}} | {{L|Mr. Krabs|''[writes on a notepad]'' Note—to—self: Watch out for Squidward. ''[Cut to Squidward walking over to SpongeBob, who is singing happily and wiping the table]''}} | ||
{{L|Squidward|Uh, SpongeBob?}} | {{L|Squidward|Uh, SpongeBob?}} | ||
{{L|SpongeBob|''[sing-songy]'' Yes?}} | {{L|SpongeBob|''[sing-songy]'' Yes?}} | ||
{{L|Squidward|I forgot to tell you, there's a part two to your gift.}} | {{L|Squidward|I forgot to tell you, there's a part two to your gift.}} | ||
{{L|SpongeBob|Part two? ''[bounces up and down]'' Part two, part two, part two, part two... ''[Squidward grabs him]''}} | {{L|SpongeBob|'''''Part two?''''' ''[bounces up and down]'' '''''Part two, part two, part two, part two'''''... ''[Squidward grabs him]''}} | ||
{{L|Squidward|Please, don't do that.}} | {{L|Squidward|Please, don't do that.}} | ||
{{L|SpongeBob|What's the part two?}} | {{L|SpongeBob|What's the part two?}} | ||
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{{L|SpongeBob|Then let's roll! ''[both walk out]'' Bye, Mr. Krabs! ''[Mr. Krabs cries, puts a "Help Wanted" sign in the window, and continues crying while he walks off]'' Heads up, Squidward. Looks like they're gonna replace ya.}} | {{L|SpongeBob|Then let's roll! ''[both walk out]'' Bye, Mr. Krabs! ''[Mr. Krabs cries, puts a "Help Wanted" sign in the window, and continues crying while he walks off]'' Heads up, Squidward. Looks like they're gonna replace ya.}} | ||
{{L|Squidward|Uh, yeah. Let's take a look at that list.}} | {{L|Squidward|Uh, yeah. Let's take a look at that list.}} | ||
{{L|SpongeBob|Well, the first thing I | {{L|SpongeBob|'''''Well''''', the first thing I wanna do is show my best friend Squidward to everybody in town. ''[cut to SpongeBob and Squidward talking to a businessman]'' Hi, there, this is my best friend, Squidward. ''[cut to SpongeBob and Squidward talking to some kids]'' Hey, kids, check it out! This is my best friend, Squidward. ''[one of the kids throws a rock at Squidward's head. Cut to SpongeBob and Squidward walking up to a fish sitting on a bench]'' Hi, I wanna show you my best friend, Squidward.}} | ||
{{L|Squidward|Hey, Frank. ''[montage ends]'' Glad that's over.}} | {{L|Squidward|Hey, Frank. ''[montage ends]'' Glad that's over.}} | ||
{{L|SpongeBob|Good, 'cause we're onto our next activity.}} | {{L|SpongeBob|Good, 'cause we're onto our next activity.}} | ||
{{L|Squidward|Which is...?}} | {{L|Squidward|Which is...?}} | ||
{{L|SpongeBob|I'm gonna show my best friend Squidward to everybody in town wearing a salmon suit.}} | {{L|SpongeBob|I'm gonna show my best friend Squidward to everybody in town '''''wearing''''' a salmon suit.}} | ||
{{L|Squidward|You're gonna be wearing a salmon suit?}} | {{L|Squidward|'''''You're''''' gonna be wearing a '''''salmon suit'''''?}} | ||
{{L|SpongeBob|''[laughs]'' That's a good one, Squidward! ''[cut to Squidward in a salmon suit in front of some kids. All the kids throw rocks at him. Cut to SpongeBob checking off the item on his list]'' Next... ''[he and Squidward sit by a rock]'' Knock-knock jokes! Hey, Squid, knock-knock!}} | {{L|SpongeBob|''[laughs]'' That's a good one, Squidward! ''[cut to Squidward in a salmon suit in front of some kids. All the kids throw rocks at him. Cut to SpongeBob checking off the item on his list]'' Next... ''[he and Squidward sit by a rock]'' Knock-knock jokes! Hey, Squid, knock-knock!}} | ||
{{L|Squidward|Who's there?}} | {{L|Squidward|Who's there?}} | ||
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{{L|Squidward|Yeah. ''[laughs nervously]''}} | {{L|Squidward|Yeah. ''[laughs nervously]''}} | ||
{{L|SpongeBob|Sunsets always remind me of bowls of fruit. What do they make you think of, Squidward? ''[Squidward imagines SpongeBob laughing and then exploding]''}} | {{L|SpongeBob|Sunsets always remind me of bowls of fruit. What do they make you think of, Squidward? ''[Squidward imagines SpongeBob laughing and then exploding]''}} | ||
{{L|Squidward|Explosions... uh, I, I mean, uh... e- | {{L|Squidward|Explosions... uh, I, I mean, uh... e-erosion!}} | ||
{{L|SpongeBob|You know, if I were to die right now in some sort of fiery explosion due to the carelessness of a friend, well, that would just be okay. ''[Squidward tears up until he hears a burping sound by SpongeBob]'' Huh? ''[SpongeBob burps again]'' Wow, it feels like something just dropped into my lower intestine. ''[smells the aroma]'' Hey, smells like cherry. Or maybe grape. Blueberry? ''[the sun starts to go down]'' Here it is, the sunset! I always love to count it down. Five... You do the rest, buddy.}} | {{L|SpongeBob|You know, if I were to die right now in some sort of fiery explosion due to the carelessness of a friend, well, that would just be okay. ''[Squidward tears up until he hears a burping sound by SpongeBob]'' Huh? ''[SpongeBob burps again]'' Wow, it feels like something just dropped into my lower intestine. ''[smells the aroma]'' Hey, smells like cherry. Or maybe grape. Blueberry? ''[the sun starts to go down]'' Here it is, the sunset! I always love to count it down. Five... You do the rest, buddy.}} | ||
{{L|Squidward|Four... three... two... one... ''[nothing happens]''}} | {{L|Squidward|Four... three... two... one... ''[nothing happens]''}} | ||
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{{L|Squidward|Five... four... three... ''[an explosion is heard from behind the wall]'' two! ''[crying]'' one! Well, at least I was able to make his last few hours meaningful. ''[sighs]'' I am such a good person. ''[another explosion is seen behind the wall but this time, it knocks the brick wall down with black smoke on top of Squidward, revealing SpongeBob, still alive and well, blowing some bomb-shaped bubbles with black smoke and the bubble explodes]''}} | {{L|Squidward|Five... four... three... ''[an explosion is heard from behind the wall]'' two! ''[crying]'' one! Well, at least I was able to make his last few hours meaningful. ''[sighs]'' I am such a good person. ''[another explosion is seen behind the wall but this time, it knocks the brick wall down with black smoke on top of Squidward, revealing SpongeBob, still alive and well, blowing some bomb-shaped bubbles with black smoke and the bubble explodes]''}} | ||
{{L|SpongeBob|Hey, Squidward, check this out! ''[Squidward gets up and mutters angrily]'' Squidward, we already played babble like an idiot.}} | {{L|SpongeBob|Hey, Squidward, check this out! ''[Squidward gets up and mutters angrily]'' Squidward, we already played babble like an idiot.}} | ||
{{L|Squidward|Why are you still here?!}} | {{L|Squidward|'''''Why are you still here?'''''!}} | ||
{{L|SpongeBob|Well, since we finished everything on the list, I thought I'd make up a new one. ''[holds up a book that says "Friends 4 Ever"]'' I already filled up this book of ideas. We should be able to finish by January | {{L|SpongeBob|Well, since we finished everything on the list, I thought I'd make up a new one. ''[holds up a book that says "Friends 4 Ever"]'' I already filled up this book of ideas. We should be able to finish by January!}} | ||
{{L|Squidward|''[slaps book away]'' Forget the book! I spent the whole day with you, doing all kinds of ridiculous things, because you were supposed to explode!}} | {{L|Squidward|''[slaps book away]'' '''''Forget''''' the book! I spent the whole day with you, doing all kinds of ridiculous things, because you were supposed to explode!}} | ||
{{L|SpongeBob|You want me to explode?}} | {{L|SpongeBob|You want me to explode?}} | ||
{{L|Squidward|YES! That's what I've been waiting for!}} | {{L|Squidward|'''''YES! That's what I've been waiting for!'''''}} | ||
{{L|SpongeBob|Umm...okay, I'll try. ''[grunts and then yells]'' Gary!! You are gonna finish your dessert, and you are gonna like it! ''[laughs]'' Now it's your turn!}} | {{L|SpongeBob|Umm...okay, I'll try. ''[grunts and then yells]'' Gary!! You are gonna finish your dessert, and you are gonna like it! ''[laughs]'' Now it's your turn!}} | ||
{{L|Squidward|''[yells and stomps on the ground repeatedly]'' That's not what I meant, you barnacle head!!}} | {{L|Squidward|''[yells and stomps on the ground repeatedly]'' '''''That's not what I meant, you barnacle head!!'''''}} | ||
{{L|SpongeBob|Ooh, good one.}} | {{L|SpongeBob|Ooh, good one.}} | ||
{{L|Squidward|No! You were supposed to explode into a million pieces! ''[flaps his arms]''}} | {{L|Squidward|No! You were supposed to explode into a million pieces! ''[flaps his arms]''}} | ||
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{{L|Squidward|Because the pie you ate was a bomb!}} | {{L|Squidward|Because the pie you ate was a bomb!}} | ||
{{L|SpongeBob|What pie?}} | {{L|SpongeBob|What pie?}} | ||
{{L|Squidward|The one that I left sitting on the counter this morning that I bought from pirates for 25 bucks and I didn't know it was a bomb, and you ate it... th... ''that pie!''}} | {{L|Squidward|The one that I left sitting on the counter this morning that I bought from pirates for 25 bucks and I didn't know it was a bomb, and you ate it... th... '''''that pie!'''''}} | ||
{{L|SpongeBob|Pie... ''[realizes; takes out the exploding pie from before]'' Oh, you mean ''this'' pie! ''[Squidward is shocked]'' I was saving it in my pocket for us to share. Let's eat! ''[walks forward and trips on a rock]'' Oops! ''[the pie flies into Squidward's face in slow-motion, causing an explosion in Bikini Bottom the size of an atomic bomb]''}} | {{L|SpongeBob|Pie... ''[realizes; takes out the exploding pie from before]'' Oh, you mean '''''this''''' pie! ''[Squidward is shocked]'' I was saving it in my pocket for us to share. Let's eat! ''[walks forward and trips on a rock]'' Oops! ''[the pie flies into Squidward's face in slow-motion, causing an explosion in Bikini Bottom the size of an atomic bomb]''}} | ||
{{L|Squidward|''[the town is now decimated]'' Ouch. ''[fade to black, episode ends]''}} | {{L|Squidward|''[the town is now decimated]'' Ouch. ''[fade to black, episode ends]''}} | ||
[[Category:Transcripts]] | [[Category:Transcripts]] | ||
Revision as of 01:52, 29 April 2023
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