Frankendoodle/transcript

This article is a transcript of the SpongeBob SquarePants episode "Frankendoodle" from season 2, which aired on January 21, 2002.

• French Narrator: Well, well, what is this? Ah, the artist at sea. Let us watch and see the fruits of his struggle. Ah, it seems that inspiration has struck.
• Artist at sea (Doug Lawrence): Hmm... ah! [kisses his pencil, then draws some more strokes. He hums something, but accidentally throws his pencil into the sea. It sinks in the water until it's out of sight]
• Artist: My pencil! [searches for it in the sea] What? No, no!
• French Narrator: The artist has learned the first lesson of the sea: Always bring a spare pencil.
• Artist: No! [Cut to the pencil dropping into the water. Meanwhile, SpongeBob and Patrick are playing "Rock, Paper, Scissors" with bubbles]
• SpongeBob: Okay. Ready, Patrick? One...
• Patrick: Two...
• Both: Three!
• [SpongeBob blows a scissors bubble and Patrick blows a paper bubble.]
• SpongeBob: Scissors beats paper, Patrick! [they both laugh] One...
• Both: Two...
• SpongeBob: Three! [both blow paper bubbles] Patrick, how come you always do paper? [the falling pencil pops the two paper bubbles and lands in the sand between SpongeBob and Patrick, and the two scream and run around. They both hide behind the pineapple away from the pencil.]
• Patrick: What is that thing, SpongeBob?
• SpongeBob: It looks like a giant pencil.
• Patrick: Go touch it.
• [SpongeBob extends his arm and touches the pencil.]
• SpongeBob: It is a giant pencil, Patrick! [grabs the pencil] Let's draw some giant pictures with it.
• Patrick: Whatcha drawin'?
• SpongeBob: Stand back, Patrick! I can't draw with you breathing down my neck!
• Patrick: Psh, artists.
• SpongeBob: It's a jellyfish.
• Patrick: Pretty good, SpongeBob! But it's lacking basic construction, and your perspective leaves a lot to be desired.
• SpongeBob: Eh, everybody's a critic.
• [The drawing comes to life and swims away buzzing.]
• Patrick: SpongeBob, your drawing's coming to life!
• SpongeBob: Now that's more like it, Mr. Critic!
• Patrick: No, I mean it's swimming away!
• SpongeBob: Do you know what this means, Patrick?
• Patrick: Your art can never hang in a museum.
• SpongeBob: It means we found a magic pencil!
• Patrick: Now all I need is a magic mustache and all my dreams will have come true.
• SpongeBob: [laughs] Coming right up! [draws a mustache on Patrick's face]
• Patrick: Life is good! [the mustache floats away; shrugs] Easy come, easy go. [the mustache heads for Squidward's house]
• Squidward: [looking at himself in the mirror] Squidward, if you had some hair, you'd be the most gorgeous creature in the sea! You've got looks... talent... all you need is a full head of... [the mustache comes in through the window and rests on his head] hair!
• Patrick: My turn!
• SpongeBob: Be careful, Patrick! Being an artist is a heavy responsibility. Each work of art is like a child and must be treated as such.
• Patrick: Come on! I was just gonna draw a cartoon.
• SpongeBob: Okay! Why didn't you say so? [hands Patrick the pencil]
• [Patrick draws a crudely-drawn picture of Squidward with a small stature of a jellyfish and a waving fist.]
• SpongeBob: Hey! Another jellyfish!
• Patrick: It's Squidward, silly!
• [The badly drawn Squidward comes to life and grumbles at them.]
• SpongeBob: It's kind of creepy looking when it moves.
• Patrick: Eww. You're right, SpongeBob. [the badly drawn Squidward starts walking away.]
• SpongeBob: We can't let him go into town! [Patrick erases it as Jellyfish Squidward screams]
• Patrick: Poor Squidward.
• SpongeBob: [dings!] Hey! My brain just hatched an idea. [draws a dollar on Squidward's green mat, attached to a string while laughing] This is gonna be classic!
• Squidward: [dressed up] I think I fancy a stroll around the park.
• SpongeBob: [doorbell rings] Oh, Squidward!
• Squidward: [opens door] What do you want? Hello, what's this? Someone left me some money for a perm. [SpongeBob and Patrick snicker] Come to Hairy! [SpongeBob pulls the string, Squidward falls over, and the mustache falls off his head] Ow! SpongeBob! Oh, my hair! [it floats away] SpongeBob!
• [Squidward goes back inside and slams the door, Patrick and SpongeBob laugh while hopping up and down and suddenly stop]
• SpongeBob: Wait! I've got another idea! This'll be the ultimate prank. I'll draw me, and when Squidward answers the door... it won't be me! [draws a doodle of himself, Patrick laughs. The drawing stands up] Aww, look at him. Ain't he a doll? All he needs is a tie. [draws it] Ready for action!
• [The SpongeBob doodle shouts nonsense and he runs over to Squidward's house. SpongeBob and Patrick laugh]
• Patrick: He's going to the door.
• [DoodleBob knocks on the door.]
• SpongeBob: He's knocking on the door. [Squidward comes out.] And Squidward's answering the door and...
• [DoodleBob picks up Squidward, holding him upside-down and repeatedly pounds his head on the ground]
• Squidward: Ooh! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow!
• Patrick: He's beating up Squidward! Ha! Ha! Ha!
• [Patrick and SpongeBob watch DoodleBob slam Squidward back and forth.]
• SpongeBob: DoodleBoy, stop! [DoodleBob throws Squidward back in his house.]
• Squidward: Whoa! Ow. [DoodleBob steals the magic pencil and then runs away with it]
• Patrick: He's got the pencil.
• SpongeBob: What have I done? We've got to find him!
• [Bubble transition to SpongeBob and Patrick in a field with tall bushes.]
• SpongeBob: Where could he possibly be?
• Patrick: Maybe he's in that poorly drawn pineapple.
• SpongeBob: Come on, let's go! [Patrick shudders and hides in a bush]
• Patrick: I'm not going in there... [SpongeBob also hides in a bush]
• SpongeBob: Come on, Patrick. I'm right behind you. Baby steps. [They both stand up in the bush, with one of Patrick's legs and one of SpongeBob's legs visible. They proceed to the drawn pineapple] Almost there... [But DoodleBob draws a hole and they fall into it, screaming as they crash]
• Patrick: What just happened?
• DoodleBob: [speaking nonsense] Meahoy, memoyay? Neyoyoyminoy, ladyonmamoy! (Translating "You want that pencil? Then you better get up here!")
• SpongeBob: Come on, Patrick. Give me a boost up!
• Patrick: Can't we just stay down here where it's safe?
• SpongeBob: No way. I created this monster and I've got to stop him. [a giant wrench falls that DoodleBob draws it as he throws it and lands on Patrick's head]
• DoodleBob: Neofineyin!
• SpongeBob: See what I mean, Patrick?
• Patrick: [dizzily] Where's the leak, ma'am? [Both try to climb up the hole, but watch DoodleBob as he draws a bowling ball from a rock. He rolls it at Patrick, whose head turns into a bowling pin in surprise] Yurrgh! [the bowling ball hits Patrick, transforming him into several pins. A "strike" symbol appears. Another "strike" symbol then appears after the bowling ball falls into the hole]
• SpongeBob: You okay, Patrick?
• Patrick: [painly] Finland!
• DoodleBob: [speaking nonsense and more nonsense] Meyaiovah! Mee hoy minoy! Meah froyay! (Translating "You'll never get me now!") [runs off in the distance, Bubble transition to a coral rock wall and a field]
• SpongeBob: [whispering] There he is.
• Patrick: He's hideous. He makes me sick, just looking at him. Those big bulgy eyes, that square body, those two buck teeth, and that stupid tie! [SpongeBob looks down at his own clothes]
• SpongeBob: Eh hem.
• Patrick: [blushes awkwardly] Oh! But it looks good on you, SpongeBob! Heh-heh.
• SpongeBob: He's putting down the pencil! This is our chance. On the count of three, we'll jump out and surprise him!
• Patrick: Oh, boy, a surprise party! Is it his birthday?
• [DoodleBob breaks through the coral rock wall that SpongeBob and Patrick are hiding behind.]
• DoodleBob: [nonsense] Bawahh bwah bwah wahh! [grabs SpongeBob]
• SpongeBob: Patrick! Patrick! Do something!
• Patrick: Happy birthday!
• [DoodleBob throws SpongeBob, who screams and lands with a thud in the distance.]
• Patrick: [gives DoodleBob a rock] Here's your present. [DoodleBob bashes it on his head] You're welcome.
• DoodleBob: [nonsense] Dewaaagheaugaaagh! [runs for his life until SpongeBob stops him whilst holding the pencil in his face]
• SpongeBob: Hold it right there, Doodle. I brought you into this world and now I'm gonna take you out. Any last words?
• DoodleBob: [speaking nonsense fast] Bee ha, bala hala ba ba! (Translating "OK, I'll be outta here!")
• SpongeBob: I'm sorry, what was that?
• DoodleBob: [slowing gibberish down] Bee ha, bala hala ba ba. [starts to shout more gibberish while SpongeBob erases his face. DoodleBob mutters, then he hits a rock]
• SpongeBob: Hold still, Doodle. This is for your own good. [begins to erase DoodleBob to oblivion] Take that and this and this and that and this that this that... [screams in victory] I am SpongeBob, destroyer of evil!
• Patrick: Take it easy. It's just a drawing.
• SpongeBob: [calmly] Well, that takes care of that, eh, Patrick?
• Patrick: Done and done.
• [When SpongeBob and Patrick go home, it is soon revealed that one of DoodleBob's arms have survived the erasing. It creeps out from under the rock. Cut to nighttime. SpongeBob had just returned home. He draws on the spaces of his bedroom to make it look like a fancy bedroom, complete with a canopy for his bed.]
• SpongeBob: Gee, Gary, you should have been there! It sure was exciting, but you know, I kind of miss the little doodle. He was like a son to me. But I'm sure glad things are back to normal. Well, good night, sweet prince.
• Gary: [with a crown on] Meow.
• SpongeBob: Good night, magic pencil. [falls asleep. DoodleBob's arm goes into SpongeBob's house, it starts going up the stairs and takes a bathroom break, finally he sneaks up to SpongeBob's bed, grabs the pencil, and starts to re-draw himself. He wakes up] Oh, hey, Magic Pencil. What are you doing up? Drawing yourself a glass of water? [laughs] [DoodleBob pops up in his bed; SpongeBob screams in shock] DoodleBob! [chuckles nervously] No hard feelings, right? [DoodleBob draws two angry eyebrows on his face then He jumps on SpongeBob's bed holding the pencil threateningly which SpongeBob screams in Terror immediately] What do you think you're doing, doodle?!
• DoodleBob: You Doodle! Me SpongeBob! [SpongeBob screams and jumps out of the way as DoodleBob erases his pillow, then part of SpongeBob's house whilst chasing him downstairs. DoodleBob erases a door and the back of SpongeBob's pants, revealing his butt] Huh?! [erases his butt]
• SpongeBob: [screams] Be careful with that thing! Who knows what will happen? [DoodleBob erases his nose] I nose. [DoodleBob erases some parts of his face and body, DoodleBob laughs at the way he looks now] Very funny, Doodle. Now it's my turn. [When SpongeBob and DoodleBob struggle, the pencil breaks into two. SpongeBob has the lead and draws the rest of his face and body back] Well, Doodle, it looks like this is a draw. ("Well, Doodle, it seems to be a duel, don't you think?" in Latin Spanish) [DoodleBob sharpens the pencil with his mouth. He now has both sides] You've made your point. ("You managed to solve it" in Latin Spanish) No matter. I was voted most artistic in high school. [the lead piece flies out of his hand, crashes through the window and hits Squidward]
• Squidward: [offscreen] Ouch! SpongeBob, you're gonna pay for that!
• SpongeBob: Uh, maybe it was most clumsy. [DoodleBob starts to attack him again as SpongeBob hides in a bookshelf, as DoodleBob approaches him, he gets his foot stuck in a piece of paper on the floor, DoodleBob sees this and tries to get it off as he says "Huh?! I'm stuck. Somebody help me! I am stuck!"] Huh? [looks in a book] Paper! [DoodleBob tosses the pencil from his hand] Page for Mr. Doodle! [Traps DoodleBob in his notebook. SpongeBob watches as DoodleBob is preserved as a drawing, which smiles. So the next day after the battle, SpongeBob hangs the piece of paper with DoodleBob on the wall with a push-pin]
• Patrick: Hey, SpongeBob, what's with all the ruckus?
• SpongeBob: Take a look for yourself, Patrick.
• Patrick: [gasps] It's the evil Doodle!
• SpongeBob: No, no, not evil. He was just a two-dimensional creature. Lost in our three-dimensional aquatic world. Longing for a purpose. [blows from a pipe]
• Patrick: So... he's a drawing?
• SpongeBob: Exactly! See how happy he is?
• Patrick: [looks at a framed picture of SpongeBob] He still looks kind of creepy.
• [Cut to outside. SpongeBob has just drawn a diving board. The pencil's broken halves have recently been taped together.]
• SpongeBob: Oh, great Magic Pencil, your powers are too mighty for us ocean dwellers. So I will send you back to the magic kingdom from where you came. Are you ready, Patrick?
• Patrick: Ready! [SpongeBob drops the pencil into Patrick's mouth. SpongeBob jumps from the diving board and onto Patrick's chest, and the pencil is launched back to the surface. In the real world, the artist from earlier is curled up in a fetal position]
• French Narrator: We rejoin the artist in a creative slump.
• Artist: [the pencil reaches the surface and lands on him] Huh? What's this? [jumps up and holds his pencil in joy] My pencil! [tries to draw, but unfortunately, the pencil lead breaks]
• French Narrator: [as the artist starts to cry] The second most important rule for the artist at sea: Always bring a pencil sharpener.
• Artist: Noo!