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Mr. Krabs: Where could they be? They should've been here hours ago! Arrgh! Quit assfucking me Squidward!. If I don't make any money today, I surely break out!
Mr. Krabs: Where could they be? They should've been here hours ago! Arrgh! Not a customer in sight. If I don't make any money today, I surely break out in a rash!


SpongeBob: Yippee! I'm rich! Look Patrick, eight gold testes!
SpongeBob: Yippee! I'm rich! Look Patrick, eight gold dubloons!


Mr. Krabs: Wait, I saw it first! Hah! ''(Jumps onto cock)'' Mine, mine! Huh?
Mr. Krabs: Wait, I saw it first! Hah! ''(Jumps onto table)'' Mine, mine! Huh?


SpongeBob: Boy Mr. Krabs, you sure are sweaty.
SpongeBob: Boy Mr. Krabs, you sure are sweaty.


Mr. Krabs: What's this? Where are the testes?
Mr. Krabs: What's this? Where are the dubloons?


[[SpongeBob SquarePants|SpongeBob]]:: ''(laughs)'' We dont have any , Mr. Krabs! It's a game: "The Flying Pimp's Whore Hunt".
[[SpongeBob SquarePants|SpongeBob]]:: ''(laughs)'' There are no real dubloons, Mr. Krabs! It's a game: "The Flying Dutchman's Treasure Hunt".


Patrick:: Based on a real city.
Patrick:: Based on a real treasure map.


SpongeBob: Take a break and play around with us.
SpongeBob: Take a break and play around with us.


Patrick: Yeah! C'mon sexy.
Patrick: Yeah! C'mon sweaty.


Mr. Krabs: Have you finished cleaning my ass?
Mr. Krabs: Have you finished cleaning the tables?


SpongeBob: I cleaned your ass Mr. Krabs!
SpongeBob: I cleaned the tables Mr. Krabs!


Mr. Krabs: Ay, but did you scrape all the cum off the underside?
Mr. Krabs: Ay, but did you scrape all the gum off the underside?


SpongeBob: ''(chewing cum)'' I already took care of it.
SpongeBob: ''(chewing gum)'' I already took care of it.


Mr. Krabs: Ha ha ha. All right, ladies. Looks like you've shagged me.
Mr. Krabs: Ha ha ha. All right, lads. Looks like you've shanghaied me.


Patrick: My turn. ''(rolls dice)'' Liquid gold. (sucks dick and cums''. Reads card)'' One of your bunkmates has been a bad fuck! Send him to rehab! Hmmm. ''(SpongeBob turns eyes toward Mr. Krabs)'' It's off to rehab for you, Mr. Krabs.
Patrick: My turn. ''(rolls dice)'' Five. ''(makes strawberry noise while moving piece. Reads card)'' One of your shipmates has been a bad pirate! Send him to the brig! Hmmm. ''(SpongeBob turns eyes toward Mr. Krabs)'' It's off to jail for you, Mr. Krabs.


Mr. Krabs: Patrick, you're fucked!
Mr. Krabs: Patrick, you're fired!


Patrick: But I don't even work here!
Patrick: But I don't even work here!


Mr. Krabs: Would you like a handjob, starting now? ''(puts hand on Patrick's cock)''
Mr. Krabs: Would you like a job, starting now? ''(puts hat on Patrick's head)''


Patrick: Boy, would I?!
Patrick: Boy, would I?!


Mr. Krabs: ''(takes hand off Patrick's head)'' You're fucked!
Mr. Krabs: ''(takes hat off Patrick's head)'' You're fired!


[[SpongeBob SquarePants|SpongeBob]]: My turn. ''(rolls dice)'' One, two, three, four. ''(picks up card and reads it)'' Look for the Deacon's mistress thru the motel window in the old bathroom and head that way. Well, I see Mr. Krabs zipper is undone.
[[SpongeBob SquarePants|SpongeBob]]: My turn. ''(rolls dice)'' One, two, three, four. ''(picks up card and reads it)'' Look for the Deacon's Goose thru the fork in the old tree and head that way. Well, I see Mr. Krabs zipper is undone.


Mr. Krabs: ''(gasps)'' Shiver me timbers!
Mr. Krabs: ''(gasps)'' Shiver me timbers!


[[SpongeBob SquarePants|SpongeBob]]: ''(laughs)'' You're still erect. And I can see you under the table, worthless ho.
[[SpongeBob SquarePants|SpongeBob]]: ''(laughs)'' Just kidding, Mr. Krabs. I'm almost to the treasure. You're turn again Mr. Krabs.


Mr. Krabs: ''(rolls dice)'' Ooh, fish mouth. One, two.
Mr. Krabs: ''(rolls dice)'' Ooh, fish eyes. One, two.


SpongeBob: ''(picks up card and reads it)'' You are a real buttfucker. Go back to the X that marks the g spot. You get to dig for shit Mr. Krabs!
SpongeBob: ''(picks up card and reads it)'' You are a real pirate. Go straight to the "X" that marks the spot. You get to dig for treasure Mr. Krabs!


Mr. Krabs: Treasure. ''(digs and mini plastic shit appears)'' There it is! It's the Flying Pimp's Treasure! Balls. Mine, mine, mine, mine, mine.
Mr. Krabs: Treasure. ''(digs and mini plastic treasure chest appears)'' There it is! It's the Flying Dutchman's Treasure! Gold, gold, gold. Mine, mine, mine, mine, mine.


SpongeBob: Hey, Mr. Krabs is getting all sweaty again.
SpongeBob: Hey, Mr. Krabs is getting all sweaty again.


Fred: Rev up those pussies, cause I am sure hungry for one.
Fred: Rev up those fryers, cause I am sure hungry for one... help! Help! My leg!


Mr. Krabs: Can't you see we're closed! Ready for another round? This is my kind of game!
Mr. Krabs: Can't you see we're closed! Ready for another round? This is my kind of game!
Line 69: Line 69:
[[SpongeBob SquarePants|SpongeBob]] and [[Patrick Star|Patrick]]: Hooray!
[[SpongeBob SquarePants|SpongeBob]] and [[Patrick Star|Patrick]]: Hooray!


Mr. Krabs: I win again! WIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNNNIIIIIINNNNGGGG! ARRRRRRGGGGGHHH! (He makes everyone orgasm as they fuck)
Mr. Krabs: Six! One, two... I win again! Oh, that's seventeen times in a row.


SpongeBob: You didnt really Mr Kraps. The drugs create that delusion.
SpongeBob: I think we ought to call it a night, Mr. Krabs. I really got to get some sleep.


Mr. Krabs: Oh, you can't walk out on me now.
Mr. Krabs: Oh, you can't walk out on me now.
Line 77: Line 77:
SpongeBob: I'm sorry, Mr. Krabs. ''(yawns)'' See you tomorrow. ''(walks inside house. Rattling noises heard)'' Huh? Who's there? ''(turns light on)''
SpongeBob: I'm sorry, Mr. Krabs. ''(yawns)'' See you tomorrow. ''(walks inside house. Rattling noises heard)'' Huh? Who's there? ''(turns light on)''


Mr. Krabs: C'mon, SpongeBob. One more fuck. I can smell the shit.
Mr. Krabs: C'mon, SpongeBob. One more game. I can smell the treasure.


[[SpongeBob SquarePants|SpongeBob]]: Mr. Krabs, it is late. Go to bed! Good night, Mr. Krabs.
[[SpongeBob SquarePants|SpongeBob]]: Mr. Krabs, it is late. Go to bed! Good night, Mr. Krabs.


Mr. Krabs: Wind is perfect, the tide is right. Let's hunt for pussy.
Mr. Krabs: Wind is perfect, the tide is right. Let's hunt for treasure.


SpongeBob: Mr. Krabs, you gotta go to rehab again... ''(opens door)''
SpongeBob: Mr. Krabs, you gotta... ''(opens door)''


Mr. Krabs: That's awful lady. If the Pimp hears ya, we'll never get his .whores
Mr. Krabs: That's awful lad. If the Dutchman hears ya, we'll never get his treasure.


SpongeBob: But Mr. Kraps...
SpongeBob: But Mr. Krabs...


Mr. Krabs: I'll roll for ya boy. (starts singing: "They see me rollin', they hatin'!)
Mr. Krabs: I'll roll for ya boy.


SpongeBob: But, Mr...
SpongeBob: But, Mr...


Mr. Krabs: ''(rolls dice)'' A kiss? Now that's an awful start lady.
Mr. Krabs: ''(rolls dice)'' Eight paces, now that's a good start lad.


SpongeBob: But, Mr....
SpongeBob: But, Mr....
Line 99: Line 99:
Mr. Krabs: One, two, three...
Mr. Krabs: One, two, three...


SpongeBob: ''(yelling)'' '''MR. KRAPS! I WANNA GO TO BED AND DREAM OF HAVING A THREESOME WITH PATRICK AND SQUIDWARD WHERE YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED BECAUSE YOU'RE QUEER!''' Mr. Krabs, I'm sorry, but it's just a game, ya know?
SpongeBob: ''(yelling)'' '''MR. KRABS! I WANNA GO TO BED!''' Mr. Krabs, I'm sorry, but it's just a game, ya know?


Mr. Krabs: A game. That's...right. Of course it is, my mistake. I guess I made a boner out of a pussy, eh? On this shit we're dealing here. Sorry, for raping ya, lady. ''(morning arrives)'' Avas, ho! Heave two, and prepare to be fucked.
Mr. Krabs: A game. That's...right. Of course it is, my mistake. I guess I got a little carried away, eh? On this treasure we're dealing here. Sorry, for disturbing ya, lad. ''(morning arrives)'' Avas! Pineapple, ho. Heave two, and prepare to be boarded.


SpongeBob: Aw, fuck off already. I'm done playing with you, Mr. Krabs.
SpongeBob: Aw, go home already. I'm done playing that game, Mr. Krabs.


Mr. Krabs: It's Captain Krabs to you, and this is no game. We're gonna be pimps.
Mr. Krabs: It's Captain Krabs to you, and this is no game. We're gonna be pirates.


SpongeBob: Pimps?
SpongeBob: Pirates?


Mr. Krabs: Ay! How'd you like to go on a real whore hunt, with a real man?
Mr. Krabs: Ay! How'd you like to go on a real treasure hunt, with a real treasure map?


SpongeBob and Patrick: Whores? ''(dancing around)'' We're gonna be pimps, we're gonna be pimps!
SpongeBob and Patrick: Treasure? ''(dancing around)'' We're gonna be pirates, we're gonna be pirates!


Mr. Krabs: Ay, ay, ay. Relay that skipping. Pimps don't skip. ''(throws them a bag of pimp stuff)'' Put on this pimp garbage, so I won't be embarrassed to be seen with ya. Arrgh.
Mr. Krabs: Ay, ay, ay. Relay that skipping. Pirates don't skip. ''(throws them a bag of pirate stuff)'' Put on this pirate garb, so I won't be embarrassed to be seen with ya. Arrgh.


SpongeBob: Oh, Patrick. Look! Spray paint and fake diamond rings.
SpongeBob: Oh, Patrick. Look! Peg legs and eye patches.


Mr. Krabs: Now, don't you feel more like pimps?
Mr. Krabs: Now, don't you feel more like pirates?


SpongeBob: Look, I'm the Pimp! ''(falls on plank)''
SpongeBob: Look, I'm Peggy the Pirate! ''(falls on plank)''


Patrick: I'm the Blind Pimp. ''(falls on SpongeBob)''
Patrick: I'm Blind Beard the Pirate. ''(falls on SpongeBob)''


SpongeBob: Ow.
SpongeBob: Ow.


Mr. Krabs: Arrgh! Fucking hos! ''(sailing underwater)'' Keep a sharp lookout. According to the map, we're close to the first landmark.
Mr. Krabs: Arrgh! ''(sailing underwater)'' Keep a sharp lookout. According to the map, we're close to the first landmark.


SpongeBob: Really? Can we see the map?
SpongeBob: Really? Can we see the map?


Mr. Krabs: Uh... no! Only the captain can get laid.
Mr. Krabs: Uh... no! Only the captain can lay eyes on the map.


SpongeBob: Okie dokie, then.
SpongeBob: Okie dokie, then.


Mr. Krabs: Arrgh, a pimp doesn't say, "okie dokie, then." A pimp says, "That's some mad props, dawg!"
Mr. Krabs: Arrgh, a pirate doesn't say, "okie dokie, then." A pirate says, "arrgh!"


SpongeBob: Okie...oops. ''(laughs)'' I mean...mad props, dawg! Captain Krabs. ''(eyes widen)'' Captain, we're about to hit...uhh...I mean...yo, Dawg, yo, we're, yo, about, yo, to hit, dawg...
SpongeBob: Okie...oops. ''(laughs)'' I mean...arrgh! Captain Krabs. ''(eyes widen)'' Captain, we're about to hit...uhh...I mean...arrgh, Capt., arrgh, we're, arrgh, about, arrgh, to hit, arrgh...


Mr. Krabs: Out with it man, dawg!
Mr. Krabs: Out with it man, arrgh!


Patrick: I, shit, think, shit, he's trying, shit, to say...'' (crash)'' oh shit.
Patrick: I, arrgh, think, arrgh, he's trying, arrgh, to say...'' (crash)'' land.


Mr. Krabs: AWWW, SERIOUSLY DAWG?! From now on, only the captain talks like a pimp! Status report, Mr. SquarePants?
Mr. Krabs: ARRGH! From now on, only the captain says, arrgh! Status report, Mr. SquarePants?


SpongeBob: The whole shit is beside the toilet.
SpongeBob: The whole ship is underwater captain.


Mr. Krabs: True dat, we're mooned then. Our whore hunt will have to continue on foot. This is it boys, from the statue with three boobs on it. 10,000 paces east.
Mr. Krabs: Arrgh, we're marooned then. Our treasure hunt will have to continue on foot. This is it boys, from the seaweed with two leaves on it. 10,000 paces east.


SpongeBob: But Mr. Krabs, that statue has...a penis ''(Mr. Krabs pulls it off)'' Which way captain?
SpongeBob: But Mr. Krabs, that seaweed has... ''(Mr. Krabs pulls a leaf off)'' Which way captain?


Mr. Krabs: Answer Patrick. Which was is east?
Mr. Krabs: Answer Patrick. Which was is east?
Line 153: Line 153:
Patrick: Uhh...let's see, uhh... ''(points)'' that way captain!
Patrick: Uhh...let's see, uhh... ''(points)'' that way captain!


Mr. Krabs: 9,997... 9,998... 9,999... 10,000! Where's them whores at? Suppose to be right here! 10,000 paces east.
Mr. Krabs: 9,997... 9,998... 9,999... 10,000! Where's the "X"? Suppose to be right here! 10,000 paces east.


Patrick: Ooh! East? I thought you said "TO THE BATCAVE"!
Patrick: Ooh! East? I thought you said "weest"!


Mr. Krabs: Batcave? What kind of shit you doing lady?
Mr. Krabs: Weast? What kind of compass you reading lad?


Patrick: This one, sir.
Patrick: This one, sir.


Mr. Krabs: That's my bitch, Patrick. You're fucked again, dawg. 9,551...9,552...
Mr. Krabs: That's west, Patrick. You're fired again. 9,551...9,552...


SpongeBob: Mr. Krabs, we're tired.
SpongeBob: Mr. Krabs, we're tired.


Patrick: And erect.
Patrick: And hungry.


Mr. Krabs: Ooh. So this is my screw. You get a little tired, and a wee-bit hard, and you want to shove it up my ass. Arrgh! That sickens me. A pimp is not judged by the dicks in his ass, but by the pussies on his dick. A pimp is judged by the douche factor of how much bling he's got. And without bling, what am I captain of? Just a bunch of fags! ''(cries)''
Mr. Krabs: Ooh. So this is my crew. You get a little tired, and a wee-bit hungry, and you want to shove off for home. Arrgh! That sickens me. A pirate is not judged by the notches in his compass, but by the sides of his booty. A pirate is judged by the loyalty and his crew. And without a crew, what am I captain of? Just a bunch of sand! ''(cries)''


Patrick: Don't cry Captain Krabs.
Patrick: Don't cry Captain Krabs.


SpongeBob: Yeah, we gotcho back. ''(both cry)''
SpongeBob: Yeah, we'll be your loyal crew. ''(both cry)''


Mr. Krabs: You'll stay with me then?
Mr. Krabs: You'll stay with me then?


SpongeBob and Patrick: We'll be the most bling pimps ever!
SpongeBob and Patrick: We'll be the most loyal pirate crew ever!


Mr. Krabs: I knew I could count on you boys. One for all!
Mr. Krabs: I knew I could count on you boys. One for all!
Line 181: Line 181:
SpongeBob and Patrick: And all for one! ''(laying on ground at night outside tent)''
SpongeBob and Patrick: And all for one! ''(laying on ground at night outside tent)''


SpongeBob: I'm so loyal, I don't even mind fucking the dogs, hardcore while Captain Krabs sleeps with his warm, wet hoes.
SpongeBob: I'm so loyal, I don't even mind sleeping on the cold, hard ground while Captain Krabs sleeps in his warm, dry tent.


Patrick: I'm so loyal, I haven't jacked off in weeks.
Patrick: I'm so loyal, I haven't bathed in weeks.


SpongeBob: But we've only been gone a few hours.
SpongeBob: But we've only been gone a few hours.


Patrick: I know. ''(laughs. SpongeBob moves closer)''
Patrick: I know. ''(laughs. SpongeBob moves away)''


SpongeBob: I'm so loyal, I don't wanna sleep till we find the golden pussy. Let's go see if the captain will go now!
SpongeBob: I'm so loyal, I don't wanna sleep till we find the treasure. Let's go see if the captain will go now!


SpongeBob and Patrick: Captain Krabs?
SpongeBob and Patrick: Captain Krabs?
Line 195: Line 195:
SpongeBob: He's not here.
SpongeBob: He's not here.


Patrick: Look! A ho. And she's passed out!
Patrick: Look! The treasure map.


SpongeBob: Only the pimp can look at those huge breasts, Patrick.
SpongeBob: Only the captain can look at the map, Patrick.


Patrick: Yeah...
Patrick: Yeah...
Line 205: Line 205:
Patrick: Nothing.
Patrick: Nothing.


SpongeBob: Patrick, you're not suppose to finger her. ''(Patrick poking the pussy)''
SpongeBob: Patrick, you're not suppose to look at the map. ''(Patrick poking the map)''


Patrick: I'm not looking, I'm touching. There's no rule against that is there?
Patrick: I'm not looking, I'm touching. There's no rule against that is there?


SpongeBob: No, guess there isn't. ''(Both poking pussy. Legs open)'' Oops! Patrick, they opened by itself. ''(Both laugh. Penises enlarge and fuck the pussy)''
SpongeBob: No, guess there isn't. ''(Both poking map. Map opens)'' Oops! Patrick, it opened by itself. ''(Both laugh. Eyes enlarge and search the map)''


SpongeBob and Patrick: The pussy, gotta feel it, gotta look at it. ''(Dicks go back in)''
SpongeBob and Patrick: The map, gotta see it, gotta look at it. ''(Eyes go back in)''


Patrick: SpongeBob?
Patrick: SpongeBob?
Line 217: Line 217:
SpongeBob: Yeah?
SpongeBob: Yeah?


Patrick: Did you notice something familiar about this pussy?
Patrick: Did you notice something familiar about this map?


SpongeBob: You mean, like that it's your mom?
SpongeBob: You mean, like that it's our game board taped to a piece of paper?


Mr. Krabs: Do you think this is a problem?
Mr. Krabs: Do you think this is a problem?
Line 225: Line 225:
SpongeBob and Patrick: Aah! Mr. Krabs!
SpongeBob and Patrick: Aah! Mr. Krabs!


Mr. Krabs: Sneaking peeks at me "treasure"?
Mr. Krabs: Sneaking peeks at me treasure?


Patrick: We're sorry.
Patrick: We're sorry.


Mr. Krabs: That's mutiny on my ship. So you think ol' Captain Krabs has gone dysfunctional, do ye?
Mr. Krabs: That's mutiny on my ship. So you think ol' Captain Krabs has gone crazy, do ye?


SpongeBob: Not at all, Captain Krabs. We don't think that at all!
SpongeBob: Not at all, Captain Krabs. We don't think that at all!


Patrick: I think that. (holds up bottle of Viagra)
Patrick: I think that.


Mr. Krabs: I'm gonna throw you overboard for saying that!
Mr. Krabs: I'm gonna throw you overboard for saying that!
Line 239: Line 239:
SpongeBob: ''(gasps)'' Look! It's the "X".
SpongeBob: ''(gasps)'' Look! It's the "X".


Mr. Krabs: ''(eyes go into "X" like symbol)'' "X" marks the g spot!
Mr. Krabs: ''(eyes go into "X" like symbol)'' "X" marks the spot!


SpongeBob: Wow! That game really is based on a real ho hunt.
SpongeBob: Wow! That game really is based on a real treasure map.


Mr. Krabs: Well, what are you waiting for lads? Dig! Dig! Dig, dig, dig, dig, dig, dig, dig, dig.
Mr. Krabs: Well, what are you waiting for lads? Dig! Dig! Dig, dig, dig, dig, dig, dig, dig, dig.
Line 247: Line 247:
SpongeBob: We got it Captain Krabs.
SpongeBob: We got it Captain Krabs.


Mr. Krabs: Ha, ha. Hand it up to me lads. Heave! ''(Brings treasure up from ho's ass)''
Mr. Krabs: Ha, ha. Hand it up to me lads. Heave! ''(Brings treasure up)''


Mr. Krabs: We finally found it.
Mr. Krabs: We finally found it.


Lady Over voice: The Pimp's Treasure!
Lady Over voice: The Dutchman's Treasure!


All: Wow!
All: Wow!
Line 259: Line 259:
Patrick: I don’t know. How are you going to spend your share, SpongeBob?
Patrick: I don’t know. How are you going to spend your share, SpongeBob?


Mr. Krabs: What shares? You're not getting any of my "treasure"!
Mr. Krabs: What shares? You're not getting any of my treasure!


SpongeBob: We found it together. So we deserve a share!
SpongeBob: We found it together. So we deserve a share!
Line 279: Line 279:
SpongeBob: And one for all.
SpongeBob: And one for all.


Flying Dutchman: ''(sleeping)'' I'm the Flying Pimp. I get all the hos.
Flying Dutchman: ''(sleeping)'' I'm the Flying Dutchman.


Mr. Krabs: All for one.
Mr. Krabs: All for one.
Line 285: Line 285:
SpongeBob: And one for all.
SpongeBob: And one for all.


Flying Dutchman: (sleeping) I'm the Flying Pimp. Who dares wake the Flying Pimp? Keep it down will ya? I'm trying to get her to climax.
Flying Dutchman: (sleeping) I'm the Flying Dutchman. Who dares wake the Flying Dutchman? Keep it down will ya? I'm trying to get some sleep.


Mr. Krabs: All for one.
Mr. Krabs: All for one.
Line 291: Line 291:
SpongeBob and Patrick: And one for all. ''(Lightning)''
SpongeBob and Patrick: And one for all. ''(Lightning)''


Flying Dutchman: Whoddup in the his-house?
Flying Dutchman: Who duh up the Dutchman's treasure?


Mr. Krabs: ''(shoves ho toward SpongeBob and Patrick)'' They are!
Mr. Krabs: ''(shoves chest toward SpongeBob and Patrick)'' They did!


Flying Dutchman: Arrgh! So you two wannabe pimps dug up me "treasure"?!
Flying Dutchman: Arrgh! So you two scallywags dug up me treasure?!


SpongeBob and Patrick: Uh-huh!
SpongeBob and Patrick: Uh-huh!
Line 303: Line 303:
SpongeBob: Wow!
SpongeBob: Wow!


Lady Over voice: Two Golden girls!
Lady Over voice: Two Gold Dubloons!


Mr. Krabs: Wait! I'm captain of this screw. Where's my reward?
Mr. Krabs: Wait! I'm captain of this crew. Where's my reward?


Flying Dutchman: Hmmm, I guess you're right. A little something for your trouble. ''(Flicks something to Mr. Krabs)''
Flying Dutchman: Hmmm, I guess you're right. A little something for your trouble. ''(Flicks something to Mr. Krabs)''


Mr. Krabs: Gold, gold, gold, gold, gold. Huh? Why, it's just a little plastic dildo.
Mr. Krabs: Gold, gold, gold, gold, gold. Huh? Why, it's just a little plastic treasure chest.


Lady Over voice: Plastic!
Lady Over voice: Plastic!


Flying Dutchman: Ay, but it's based on a real whore's chest. ''(laughs)''
Flying Dutchman: Ay, but it's based on a real treasure chest. ''(laughs)''


Patrick: Gee Mr. Krabs, you're looking all sweaty again.
Patrick: Gee Mr. Krabs, you're looking all sweaty again.
[[Category:Episode transcripts]]
[[Category:Episode transcripts]]

Revision as of 00:11, 2 August 2011

Template:BTranscript Mr. Krabs: Where could they be? They should've been here hours ago! Arrgh! Not a customer in sight. If I don't make any money today, I surely break out in a rash!

SpongeBob: Yippee! I'm rich! Look Patrick, eight gold dubloons!

Mr. Krabs: Wait, I saw it first! Hah! (Jumps onto table) Mine, mine! Huh?

SpongeBob: Boy Mr. Krabs, you sure are sweaty.

Mr. Krabs: What's this? Where are the dubloons?

SpongeBob:: (laughs) There are no real dubloons, Mr. Krabs! It's a game: "The Flying Dutchman's Treasure Hunt".

Patrick:: Based on a real treasure map.

SpongeBob: Take a break and play around with us.

Patrick: Yeah! C'mon sweaty.

Mr. Krabs: Have you finished cleaning the tables?

SpongeBob: I cleaned the tables Mr. Krabs!

Mr. Krabs: Ay, but did you scrape all the gum off the underside?

SpongeBob: (chewing gum) I already took care of it.

Mr. Krabs: Ha ha ha. All right, lads. Looks like you've shanghaied me.

Patrick: My turn. (rolls dice) Five. (makes strawberry noise while moving piece. Reads card) One of your shipmates has been a bad pirate! Send him to the brig! Hmmm. (SpongeBob turns eyes toward Mr. Krabs) It's off to jail for you, Mr. Krabs.

Mr. Krabs: Patrick, you're fired!

Patrick: But I don't even work here!

Mr. Krabs: Would you like a job, starting now? (puts hat on Patrick's head)

Patrick: Boy, would I?!

Mr. Krabs: (takes hat off Patrick's head) You're fired!

SpongeBob: My turn. (rolls dice) One, two, three, four. (picks up card and reads it) Look for the Deacon's Goose thru the fork in the old tree and head that way. Well, I see Mr. Krabs zipper is undone.

Mr. Krabs: (gasps) Shiver me timbers!

SpongeBob: (laughs) Just kidding, Mr. Krabs. I'm almost to the treasure. You're turn again Mr. Krabs.

Mr. Krabs: (rolls dice) Ooh, fish eyes. One, two.

SpongeBob: (picks up card and reads it) You are a real pirate. Go straight to the "X" that marks the spot. You get to dig for treasure Mr. Krabs!

Mr. Krabs: Treasure. (digs and mini plastic treasure chest appears) There it is! It's the Flying Dutchman's Treasure! Gold, gold, gold. Mine, mine, mine, mine, mine.

SpongeBob: Hey, Mr. Krabs is getting all sweaty again.

Fred: Rev up those fryers, cause I am sure hungry for one... help! Help! My leg!

Mr. Krabs: Can't you see we're closed! Ready for another round? This is my kind of game!

SpongeBob and Patrick: Hooray!

Mr. Krabs: Six! One, two... I win again! Oh, that's seventeen times in a row.

SpongeBob: I think we ought to call it a night, Mr. Krabs. I really got to get some sleep.

Mr. Krabs: Oh, you can't walk out on me now.

SpongeBob: I'm sorry, Mr. Krabs. (yawns) See you tomorrow. (walks inside house. Rattling noises heard) Huh? Who's there? (turns light on)

Mr. Krabs: C'mon, SpongeBob. One more game. I can smell the treasure.

SpongeBob: Mr. Krabs, it is late. Go to bed! Good night, Mr. Krabs.

Mr. Krabs: Wind is perfect, the tide is right. Let's hunt for treasure.

SpongeBob: Mr. Krabs, you gotta... (opens door)

Mr. Krabs: That's awful lad. If the Dutchman hears ya, we'll never get his treasure.

SpongeBob: But Mr. Krabs...

Mr. Krabs: I'll roll for ya boy.

SpongeBob: But, Mr...

Mr. Krabs: (rolls dice) Eight paces, now that's a good start lad.

SpongeBob: But, Mr....

Mr. Krabs: One, two, three...

SpongeBob: (yelling) MR. KRABS! I WANNA GO TO BED! Mr. Krabs, I'm sorry, but it's just a game, ya know?

Mr. Krabs: A game. That's...right. Of course it is, my mistake. I guess I got a little carried away, eh? On this treasure we're dealing here. Sorry, for disturbing ya, lad. (morning arrives) Avas! Pineapple, ho. Heave two, and prepare to be boarded.

SpongeBob: Aw, go home already. I'm done playing that game, Mr. Krabs.

Mr. Krabs: It's Captain Krabs to you, and this is no game. We're gonna be pirates.

SpongeBob: Pirates?

Mr. Krabs: Ay! How'd you like to go on a real treasure hunt, with a real treasure map?

SpongeBob and Patrick: Treasure? (dancing around) We're gonna be pirates, we're gonna be pirates!

Mr. Krabs: Ay, ay, ay. Relay that skipping. Pirates don't skip. (throws them a bag of pirate stuff) Put on this pirate garb, so I won't be embarrassed to be seen with ya. Arrgh.

SpongeBob: Oh, Patrick. Look! Peg legs and eye patches.

Mr. Krabs: Now, don't you feel more like pirates?

SpongeBob: Look, I'm Peggy the Pirate! (falls on plank)

Patrick: I'm Blind Beard the Pirate. (falls on SpongeBob)

SpongeBob: Ow.

Mr. Krabs: Arrgh! (sailing underwater) Keep a sharp lookout. According to the map, we're close to the first landmark.

SpongeBob: Really? Can we see the map?

Mr. Krabs: Uh... no! Only the captain can lay eyes on the map.

SpongeBob: Okie dokie, then.

Mr. Krabs: Arrgh, a pirate doesn't say, "okie dokie, then." A pirate says, "arrgh!"

SpongeBob: Okie...oops. (laughs) I mean...arrgh! Captain Krabs. (eyes widen) Captain, we're about to hit...uhh...I mean...arrgh, Capt., arrgh, we're, arrgh, about, arrgh, to hit, arrgh...

Mr. Krabs: Out with it man, arrgh!

Patrick: I, arrgh, think, arrgh, he's trying, arrgh, to say... (crash) land.

Mr. Krabs: ARRGH! From now on, only the captain says, arrgh! Status report, Mr. SquarePants?

SpongeBob: The whole ship is underwater captain.

Mr. Krabs: Arrgh, we're marooned then. Our treasure hunt will have to continue on foot. This is it boys, from the seaweed with two leaves on it. 10,000 paces east.

SpongeBob: But Mr. Krabs, that seaweed has... (Mr. Krabs pulls a leaf off) Which way captain?

Mr. Krabs: Answer Patrick. Which was is east?

Patrick: Uhh...let's see, uhh... (points) that way captain!

Mr. Krabs: 9,997... 9,998... 9,999... 10,000! Where's the "X"? Suppose to be right here! 10,000 paces east.

Patrick: Ooh! East? I thought you said "weest"!

Mr. Krabs: Weast? What kind of compass you reading lad?

Patrick: This one, sir.

Mr. Krabs: That's west, Patrick. You're fired again. 9,551...9,552...

SpongeBob: Mr. Krabs, we're tired.

Patrick: And hungry.

Mr. Krabs: Ooh. So this is my crew. You get a little tired, and a wee-bit hungry, and you want to shove off for home. Arrgh! That sickens me. A pirate is not judged by the notches in his compass, but by the sides of his booty. A pirate is judged by the loyalty and his crew. And without a crew, what am I captain of? Just a bunch of sand! (cries)

Patrick: Don't cry Captain Krabs.

SpongeBob: Yeah, we'll be your loyal crew. (both cry)

Mr. Krabs: You'll stay with me then?

SpongeBob and Patrick: We'll be the most loyal pirate crew ever!

Mr. Krabs: I knew I could count on you boys. One for all!

SpongeBob and Patrick: And all for one! (laying on ground at night outside tent)

SpongeBob: I'm so loyal, I don't even mind sleeping on the cold, hard ground while Captain Krabs sleeps in his warm, dry tent.

Patrick: I'm so loyal, I haven't bathed in weeks.

SpongeBob: But we've only been gone a few hours.

Patrick: I know. (laughs. SpongeBob moves away)

SpongeBob: I'm so loyal, I don't wanna sleep till we find the treasure. Let's go see if the captain will go now!

SpongeBob and Patrick: Captain Krabs?

SpongeBob: He's not here.

Patrick: Look! The treasure map.

SpongeBob: Only the captain can look at the map, Patrick.

Patrick: Yeah...

SpongeBob: Patrick, what are you doing?

Patrick: Nothing.

SpongeBob: Patrick, you're not suppose to look at the map. (Patrick poking the map)

Patrick: I'm not looking, I'm touching. There's no rule against that is there?

SpongeBob: No, guess there isn't. (Both poking map. Map opens) Oops! Patrick, it opened by itself. (Both laugh. Eyes enlarge and search the map)

SpongeBob and Patrick: The map, gotta see it, gotta look at it. (Eyes go back in)

Patrick: SpongeBob?

SpongeBob: Yeah?

Patrick: Did you notice something familiar about this map?

SpongeBob: You mean, like that it's our game board taped to a piece of paper?

Mr. Krabs: Do you think this is a problem?

SpongeBob and Patrick: Aah! Mr. Krabs!

Mr. Krabs: Sneaking peeks at me treasure?

Patrick: We're sorry.

Mr. Krabs: That's mutiny on my ship. So you think ol' Captain Krabs has gone crazy, do ye?

SpongeBob: Not at all, Captain Krabs. We don't think that at all!

Patrick: I think that.

Mr. Krabs: I'm gonna throw you overboard for saying that!

SpongeBob: (gasps) Look! It's the "X".

Mr. Krabs: (eyes go into "X" like symbol) "X" marks the spot!

SpongeBob: Wow! That game really is based on a real treasure map.

Mr. Krabs: Well, what are you waiting for lads? Dig! Dig! Dig, dig, dig, dig, dig, dig, dig, dig.

SpongeBob: We got it Captain Krabs.

Mr. Krabs: Ha, ha. Hand it up to me lads. Heave! (Brings treasure up)

Mr. Krabs: We finally found it.

Lady Over voice: The Dutchman's Treasure!

All: Wow!

SpongeBob: What are you going to do with your share, Patrick?

Patrick: I don’t know. How are you going to spend your share, SpongeBob?

Mr. Krabs: What shares? You're not getting any of my treasure!

SpongeBob: We found it together. So we deserve a share!

Mr. Krabs: Well, I'm the captain. And I say it's mine!

SpongeBob: What about loyalty?

Mr. Krabs: All for one.

SpongeBob: And one for all.

Mr. Krabs: All for one.

SpongeBob: And one for all.

Mr. Krabs: All for one.

SpongeBob: And one for all.

Flying Dutchman: (sleeping) I'm the Flying Dutchman.

Mr. Krabs: All for one.

SpongeBob: And one for all.

Flying Dutchman: (sleeping) I'm the Flying Dutchman. Who dares wake the Flying Dutchman? Keep it down will ya? I'm trying to get some sleep.

Mr. Krabs: All for one.

SpongeBob and Patrick: And one for all. (Lightning)

Flying Dutchman: Who duh up the Dutchman's treasure?

Mr. Krabs: (shoves chest toward SpongeBob and Patrick) They did!

Flying Dutchman: Arrgh! So you two scallywags dug up me treasure?!

SpongeBob and Patrick: Uh-huh!

Flying Dutchman: Well, you saved me a lot of diggin' you did. So here's an reward for the two of ya's.

SpongeBob: Wow!

Lady Over voice: Two Gold Dubloons!

Mr. Krabs: Wait! I'm captain of this crew. Where's my reward?

Flying Dutchman: Hmmm, I guess you're right. A little something for your trouble. (Flicks something to Mr. Krabs)

Mr. Krabs: Gold, gold, gold, gold, gold. Huh? Why, it's just a little plastic treasure chest.

Lady Over voice: Plastic!

Flying Dutchman: Ay, but it's based on a real treasure chest. (laughs)

Patrick: Gee Mr. Krabs, you're looking all sweaty again.