As Seen on TV/transcript: Difference between revisions

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 {{L|Squidward|But, but, but, but, but, but, but...}}
 {{L|Mr. Krabs|''[SpongeBob is still smiling]'' Don't throw your buts at me, Mr. Squidward. We got a timetable to keep. This thing airs tonight.}}
-{{L|SpongeBob|Tonight?!}} {{L|Squidward|Tonight?!}}{{L|Mr. Krabs|Yup, I got a sweet deal on the prime-time slot.}} {{L|Narrator|3:28 am}} {{L|SpongeBob|It's almost on, Gary.}} {{L|Gary|''[yawns]''}} {{L|SpongeBob|Yeah, I got butterflies, too. This is the most exciting thing to happen in the history of history. ''[TV shows wild west show. Then shows KK commercial]''}} {{L|SpongeBob|Look, Gary! It's on!}} {{L|''[commercial starts]''}} {{L|Pearl|Oh, Jen. I've got a real problem.}} {{L|Squidward|''[Jen]'' What's your problem, Amy?}} {{L|Pearl|''[Amy]'' I've got all this money ''[shows money then throws them away]'' and I don't know what to do with it and I'm hungry.}} {{L|''[Mr. Krabs is laughing off-set]''}} {{L|Pearl|''[Amy]'' Who's there?}} {{L|Squidward|''[Jen]'' Where's that coming from?}} {{L|''[Purple smoke appears, it's Mr. Krabs]''}} {{L|Amy and Jen|Yippee, it's Mr. Krabs.}} {{L|Mr. Krabs|That's right, Amy. I heard all about your little problem and I'm here to help. Follow... me!}} {{L|Amy and Jen|''[outside the Krusty Krab]'' Where are we?}} {{L|Mr. Krabs|Why, we're at none other than the Krusty Krab.}} {{L|Amy|Did you say Krusty Krab?}} {{L|Mr. Krabs|That's right, Krusty Krab. Home of the world famous ''[outside of the Krusty Krab is shown again]'' Krabby Patty!}} {{L|Jen|What's a Krabby Patty?}} {{L|''[Mr. Krabs' jaw drops]''}} {{L|Mr. Krabs|Why, it's only the most mouthwatering appetizing food in the seven seas.}} {{L|SpongeBob|There I am, Gary! There I am!}} {{L|Mr. Krabs|We start with a fresh patty, grilled and juicy. Add some crisp undersea veggies and cheese. Topped off with secret sauce and some buns. Voila! A Krabby Patty.}} {{L|Amy|I want a Krabby Patty.}} {{L|Jen|Me, too.}} {{L|Mr. Krabs|How do you like them Krabby Patties, girls? ''[laughs]''}} {{L|Amy & Jen|''[thumbs up. Mr. Krabs still laughing]''}} {{L|SpongeBob|Look, Gary, there I am again. Look!}} {{L|Mr. Krabs|Two more satisfied customers. So why don't you come on in, and have yourself a Krabby Patty today.}} {{L|All|♪The Krusty Krab: Come Spend Your Money Here!♪}} {{L|''[commercial ends]''}} {{L|SpongeBob|That was the best 60 seconds of my life! Well, time for bed.}} {{L|SpongeBob|Time to go do my favorite thing at my favorite place. ''[humming]''}} {{L|Old Man Jenkins|Hey, you!}} {{L|SpongeBob|Top of the morning, oldster.}} {{L|Old Man Jenkins|Hey! I saw you on TV last night. ''[Then a flashback shows that Old Man Jenkins was actually watching a bran flakes commercial and saw the yellow box]''}} {{L|Announcer|New, Bran Flakes. Bold, new taste. Bran Flakes.}} {{L|SpongeBob|You did?}} {{L|Old Man Jenkins|Yeah. You were on a commercial.}} {{L|SpongeBob|You're right! Wow, he recognized me.}} {{L|Old Man Jenkins|Yup. See ya later, Bran Flakes. What a nice cereal box.}} {{L|SpongeBob|''[talking to self]'' "Weren't you that guy on TV?" Yes! I am that guy. ''[laughs]'' How kind of you to notice. Weren't you that guy on the television last night? Yes, that was me. I... ''[runs into Peterson]''}} {{L|SpongeBob|Oh, please excuse me, sir.}} {{L|Peterson|Oh, that's quite all right, uhh, SpongeBob.}} {{L|SpongeBob|Wow. I'm getting recognized all over. Why, next thing you'll know, people are going to start doing things like holding doors open for... ''[gasps]'' Why, sir, I'm flattered.}} {{L|Peterson|Really? I don't smell anything.}} {{L|SpongeBob|''[laughs]'' You're on your way.}} {{L|Fred|Excuse me, sir, can I get a napkin?}} {{L|SpongeBob|Why, of course, good sir. And next time, feel free to approach me. It most be so degrading to ask across the room. And who am I making this bad boy out to?}} {{L|Fred|To my tail fin. I'll get it myself.}} {{L|SpongeBob|F-I-N. There we are, darling. Hmph. Looks like shyness got the best of him.}} {{L|Squidward|There you are, SpongeBob. I need you to...}} {{L|SpongeBob|No problem, Squidward. I got one already made out. Enjoy.}} {{L|Squidward|''[holding a napkin reading, "To my tailfin; Love, SpongeBob]'' To my tailfin? ''[checks to see if he has one]''}} {{L|SpongeBob|Yes, I am that guy on TV.}} {{L|Tyler|Hey, look!}} {{L|SpongeBob|Please, good people, no photos at work.}} {{L|Tyler|Here's the ketchup.}} {{L|SpongeBob|Well, maybe just one. ''[poses]'' Another one? Okay. Limbo. And now, the, uh, oh, I got it.}} {{L|Mr. Krabs|There you are, SpongeBob.}} {{L|SpongeBob|Yes, pilot.}} {{L|Mr. Krabs|I need you to... ''[gets hit with mop]'' ...OW! ''[finger breaks]'' Alright, boy. Get in there and scrub the head and stop acting so predictable.}} {{L|SpongeBob|I'm so misunderstood. Alas, good people, even the brightest of stars grow weary, and I am no exception. But I will shine again after a quick break in my quarters. Stay beautiful. ''[we cut to Dale and Lou in the restroom]''}} {{L|Dale|Hey, were you able to catch Glenn the Pinkfish on Flounderman last night?}} {{L|Lou|No. How was he?}} {{L|Dale|Well, I knew that this guy's acting was good, but his singing was phenomenal. I'm telling you, Vendor, if that guy was to cut a solo record, he'd be a hit. ''[both close bathroom doors]''}} {{L|SpongeBob|''[pupils change into stars]'' Solo record!}} {{L|''[In Mr. Krabs' office]''}} {{L|Mr. Krabs|So, if I fire him and make his successor do twice the work, and... ''[knock on door]'' ...eh, come in. ''[in walks SpongeBob and poses like a model]'' Oh, it's just you, SpongeBob. Those heads better be beautiful.}} {{L|SpongeBob|They are, Mr. Krabs, and so is mine. And now I gotta lay something on ya, Krabs Baby.}} {{L|Mr. Krabs|The only thing you better lay is some patties on the grill, Fry Boy.}} {{L|SpongeBob|Nah, I can't take that gig, Krabber. That phase in my career is over. I'm an entertainer now.}} {{L|Mr. Krabs|What in blazes are you talking about?}} {{L|SpongeBob|Come on, Krabs. Let's think outside the box for a second. Commercials are old-hat. The people want music. If I could change fate I would, Krabsy. And I'm an entertainer deep down. A people's person. We're on the same page here, aren't we?}} {{L|Mr. Krabs|Boy, those Krabby fumes must've gotten to your head. Borrow Squidward's gas mask and get right back to work.}} {{L|SpongeBob|''[snaps fingers twice]'' I knew you'd understand. Well, thanks for the start. I'm out of here. ''[SpongeBob snaps his fingers outside his office]''}} {{L|Mr. Krabs|Oooooh... I've never felt such a strange combination of pity... and indigestion.}} {{L|Bill|There he is! Hey! We've been waiting for you. ''[SpongeBob makes an O-shaped mouth wiggling]''}} {{L|Nazz|Where have you been?}} {{L|Bill|How long are you going to keep us standing here?}} {{L|Squidward|Well, SpongeBob? Are you just going to stand there like a half-wit, mouth agape? Or are you going to fill these peoples' orders?}} {{L|SpongeBob|Pipe down, Squidward. This crowd looks angry. They're not going to wait any longer. I think I better give them what they need, and fast.}} {{L|Squidward|I think so, too, or Krabs will fire both of us. ''[smiling]'' On second thought, keep 'em waiting.}} {{L|SpongeBob|No can do, Squidward. These people demand entertainment.}} {{L|Squidward|Enter-what?}} {{L|''[SpongeBob grabs microphone]''}} {{L|SpongeBob|How you doing, folks?}} {{L|All|Hungry!}} {{L|SpongeBob|That's no problem, ladies and germs. 'Cause SpongeBob is here to satisfy. ''[turns down light's dimness]''}} {{L|Squidward|Hey!}} {{L|Bill|Eating here was ''your'' idea!}} {{L|SpongeBob|I'd like to call this little number "Striped Sweater." ♪The best time to wear a striped sweater is all the time. One with a collar, turtleneck, that's the kind ''[screeching]'' 'Cause when you're wearing that one... special... sweater...♪ ''[light turns back on; all yelling]'' Squidward, this crowd is insatiable.}} {{L|Squidward|Then why don't you back in the kitchen, and grab some patties, and give them what they CAME HERE FOR?!}} {{L|SpongeBob|Juggling! Thanks, Squiddy. ''[crowd booing]''}} {{L|Nancy|Is this some kind of joke?}} {{L|SpongeBob|They want juggling and jokes at the same time? Tough crowd.}} {{L|Bill|Oh, now what's he doing?}} {{L|SpongeBob|Uhh, what do you call a vampire whose car breaks down 3 miles from a blood bank? A cab!}} {{L|Bill|We're losing our appetites!}} {{L|SpongeBob|Uh, okay. There's a nun, an astronaut, and a hairdryer.}} {{L|All|We want patties!}} {{L|SpongeBob|Well, the most I can juggle is three, but the show must go on. Whoa! ''[SpongeBob slips and patties flip in the air]''}} {{L|All|Boo!}} {{L|SpongeBob|No! ''[talking in his head]'' My career is over. All those years clawing my way up. All the people I've stepped on. Wasted. ''[patties land on the grill]''}} {{L|Bill|Hey! Finally!}} {{L|Nancy|That's what we've been waiting for.}} {{L|''[dotted lines form from his eyes to point to patty]''}} {{L|SpongeBob|They seem to like it when I put this patty on the grill. I may be able to save this act, yet. Roll with it, SpongeBob. Roll with it. There's more where that came from, folks. ''[SpongeBob puts a whole ton of patties on the grill]''}} {{L|All|Yay!}} {{L|SpongeBob|You like that?}} {{L|Bill|It's what we wanted all along.}} {{L|SpongeBob|''[thinking]'' It seems to be working. But how do I follow it up? Buns! ''[speaking]'' It's a stretch, but we've all got to push the envelope, sometime. Okay, folks. How do you like this? ''[Flips patties inside buns]''}} {{L|All|Yeah!}} {{L|SpongeBob|I'm breaking new ground. Time to get edgy.}} {{L|Customers|We want onions! Cheese! Yeah!}} {{L|SpongeBob|Ready for the grand finale? ''[splatting]''}} {{L|All|Whoopee! Krabby Patties!}} {{L|Mr. Krabs|Well, SpongeBob, looks like you've finally found your calling.}} {{L|SpongeBob|I'll say. I'm so glad I gave up fry cooking for this.}}
+{{L|SpongeBob|Tonight?!}} {{L|Squidward|Tonight?!}}{{L|Mr. Krabs|Yup, I got a sweet deal on the prime-time slot.}} {{L|Narrator|3:28 am}} {{L|SpongeBob|It's almost on, Gary.}} {{L|Gary|''[yawns]''}} {{L|SpongeBob|Yeah, I got butterflies, too. This is the most exciting thing to happen in the history of history. ''[TV shows wild west show. Then shows KK commercial]''}} {{L|SpongeBob|Look, Gary! It's on!}} {{L|''[commercial starts]''}} {{L|Pearl|Oh, Jen. I've got a real problem.}} {{L|Squidward|''[Jen]'' What's your problem, Amy?}} {{L|Pearl|''[Amy]'' I've got all this money ''[shows money then throws them away]'' and I don't know what to do with it and I'm hungry.}} {{L|''[Mr. Krabs is laughing off-set]''}} {{L|Pearl|''[Amy]'' Who's there?}} {{L|Squidward|''[Jen]'' Where's that coming from?}} {{L|''[Purple smoke appears, it's Mr. Krabs]''}} {{L|Amy and Jen|Yippee, it's Mr. Krabs.}} {{L|Mr. Krabs|That's right, Amy. I heard all about your little problem and I'm here to help. Follow... me!}} {{L|Amy and Jen|''[outside the Krusty Krab]'' Where are we?}} {{L|Mr. Krabs|Why, we're at none other than the Krusty Krab.}} {{L|Amy|Did you say Krusty Krab?}} {{L|Mr. Krabs|That's right, Krusty Krab. Home of the world famous ''[outside of the Krusty Krab is shown again]'' Krabby Patty!}} {{L|Jen|What's a Krabby Patty?}} {{L|''[Mr. Krabs' jaw drops]''}} {{L|Mr. Krabs|Why, it's only the most mouthwatering appetizing food in the seven seas.}} {{L|SpongeBob|There I am, Gary! There I am!}} {{L|Mr. Krabs|We start with a fresh patty, grilled and juicy. Add some crisp undersea veggies and cheese. Topped off with secret sauce and some buns. Voila! A Krabby Patty.}} {{L|Amy|I want a Krabby Patty.}} {{L|Jen|Me, too.}} {{L|Mr. Krabs|How do you like them Krabby Patties, girls? ''[laughs]''}} {{L|Amy & Jen|''[thumbs up. Mr. Krabs still laughing]''}} {{L|SpongeBob|Look, Gary, there I am again. Look!}} {{L|Mr. Krabs|Two more satisfied customers. So why don't you come on in, and have yourself a Krabby Patty today.}} {{L|All|♪The Krusty Krab: Come Spend Your Money Here!♪}} {{L|''[commercial ends]''}} {{L|SpongeBob|That was the best 60 seconds of my life! Well, time for bed.}} {{L|SpongeBob|Time to go do my favorite thing at my favorite place. ''[humming]''}} {{L|Old Man Jenkins|Hey, you!}} {{L|SpongeBob|Top of the morning, oldster.}} {{L|Old Man Jenkins|Hey! I saw you on TV last night. ''[Then a flashback shows that Old Man Jenkins was actually watching a bran flakes commercial and saw the yellow box]''}} {{L|Announcer|New, Bran Flakes. Bold, new taste. Bran Flakes.}} {{L|SpongeBob|You did?}} {{L|Old Man Jenkins|Yeah. You were on a commercial.}} {{L|SpongeBob|You're right! Wow, he recognized me.}} {{L|Old Man Jenkins|Yup. See ya later, Bran Flakes. What a nice cereal box.}} {{L|SpongeBob|''[talking to self]'' "Weren't you that guy on TV?" Yes! I am that guy. ''[laughs]'' How kind of you to notice. Weren't you that guy on the television last night? Yes, that was me. I... ''[runs into Peterson]''}} {{L|SpongeBob|Oh, please excuse me, sir.}} {{L|Peterson|Oh, that's quite all right, uhh, SpongeBob.}} {{L|SpongeBob|Wow. I'm getting recognized all over. Why, next thing you'll know, people are going to start doing things like holding doors open for... ''[gasps]'' Why, sir, I'm flattered.}} {{L|Peterson|Really? I don't smell anything.}} {{L|SpongeBob|''[laughs]'' You're on your way.}} {{L|Fred|Excuse me, sir, can I get a napkin?}} {{L|SpongeBob|Why, of course, good sir. And next time, feel free to approach me. It most be so degrading to ask across the room. And who am I making this bad boy out to?}} {{L|Fred|To my tail fin. I'll get it myself.}} {{L|SpongeBob|F-I-N. There we are, darling. Hmph. Looks like shyness got the best of him.}} {{L|Squidward|There you are, SpongeBob. I need you to...}} {{L|SpongeBob|No problem, Squidward. I got one already made out. Enjoy.}} {{L|Squidward|''[holding a napkin reading, "To my tailfin; Love, SpongeBob]'' To my tailfin? ''[checks to see if he has one]''}} {{L|SpongeBob|Yes, I am that guy on TV.}} {{L|Tyler|Hey, look!}} {{L|SpongeBob|Please, good people, no photos at work.}} {{L|Tyler|Here's the ketchup.}} {{L|SpongeBob|Well, maybe just one. ''[poses]'' Another one? Okay. Limbo. And now, the, uh, oh, I got it.}} {{L|Mr. Krabs|There you are, SpongeBob.}} {{L|SpongeBob|Yes, pilot.}} {{L|Mr. Krabs|I need you to... ''[gets hit with mop]'' ...OW! ''[finger breaks]'' Alright, boy. Get in there and scrub the head and stop acting so predictable.}} {{L|SpongeBob|I'm so misunderstood. Alas, good people, even the brightest of stars grow weary, and I am no exception. But I will shine again after a quick break in my quarters. Stay beautiful. ''[we cut to Dale and Lou in the restroom]''}} {{L|Dale|Hey, were you able to catch Glenn the Pinkfish on Flounderman last night?}} {{L|Lou|No. How was he?}} {{L|Dale|Well, I knew that this guy's acting was good, but his singing was phenomenal. I'm telling you, Vendor, if that guy was to cut a solo record, he'd be a hit. ''[both close bathroom doors]''}} {{L|SpongeBob|''[pupils change into stars]'' Solo record!}} {{L|''[In Mr. Krabs' office]''}} {{L|Mr. Krabs|So, if I fire him and make his successor do twice the work, and... ''[knock on door]'' ...eh, come in. ''[in walks SpongeBob and poses like a model]'' Oh, it's just you, SpongeBob. Those heads better be beautiful.}} {{L|SpongeBob|They are, Mr. Krabs, and so is mine. And now I gotta lay something on ya, Krabs Baby.}} {{L|Mr. Krabs|The only thing you better lay is some patties on the grill, Fry Boy.}} {{L|SpongeBob|Nah, I can't take that gig, Krabber. That phase in my career is over. I'm an entertainer now.}} {{L|Mr. Krabs|What in blazes are you talking about?}} {{L|SpongeBob|Come on, Krabs. Let's think outside the box for a second. Commercials are old-hat. The people want music. If I could change fate I would, Krabsy. And I'm an entertainer deep down. A people's person. We're on the same page here, aren't we?}} {{L|Mr. Krabs|Boy, those Krabby fumes must've gotten to your head. Borrow Squidward's gas mask and get right back to work.}} {{L|SpongeBob|''[snaps fingers twice]'' I knew you'd understand. Well, thanks for the start. I'm out of here. ''[SpongeBob snaps his fingers outside his office]''}} {{L|Mr. Krabs|Oooooh... I've never felt such a strange combination of pity... and indigestion.}} {{L|Bill|There he is! Hey! We've been waiting for you. ''[SpongeBob makes an O-shaped mouth wiggling]''}} {{L|Nazz|Where have you been?}} {{L|Bill|How long are you going to keep us standing here?}} {{L|Squidward|Well, SpongeBob? Are you just going to stand there like a half-wit, mouth agape? Or are you going to fill these peoples' orders?}} {{L|SpongeBob|Pipe down, Squidward. This crowd looks angry. They're not going to wait any longer. I think I better give them what they need, and fast.}} {{L|Squidward|I think so, too, or Krabs will fire both of us. ''[smiling]'' On second thought, keep 'em waiting.}} {{L|SpongeBob|No can do, Squidward. These people demand entertainment.}} {{L|Squidward|Enter-what?}} {{L|''[SpongeBob grabs microphone]''}} {{L|SpongeBob|How you doing, folks?}} {{L|All|Hungry!}} {{L|SpongeBob|That's no problem, ladies and germs. 'Cause SpongeBob is here to satisfy. ''[turns down light's dimness]''}} {{L|Squidward|Hey!}} {{L|Bill|Eating here was ''your'' idea!}} {{L|SpongeBob|I'd like to call this little number "Striped Sweater." ♪The best time to wear a striped sweater is all the time. One with a collar, turtleneck, that's the kind ''[screeching]'' 'Cause when you're wearing that one... special... sweater...♪ ''[light turns back on; all yelling]'' Squidward, this crowd is insatiable.}} {{L|Squidward|Then why don't you back in the kitchen and grab some patties and give them what they came here for!}} {{L|SpongeBob|Juggling! Thanks, Squiddy. ''[crowd booing]''}} {{L|Nancy|Is this some kind of joke?}} {{L|SpongeBob|They want juggling and jokes at the same time? Tough crowd.}} {{L|Bill|Oh, now what's he doing?}} {{L|SpongeBob|Uhh, what do you call a vampire whose car breaks down 3 miles from a blood bank? A cab!}} {{L|Bill|We're losing our appetites!}} {{L|SpongeBob|Uh, okay. There's a nun, an astronaut, and a hairdryer.}} {{L|All|We want patties!}} {{L|SpongeBob|Well, the most I can juggle is three, but the show must go on. Whoa! ''[SpongeBob slips and patties flip in the air]''}} {{L|All|Boo!}} {{L|SpongeBob|No! ''[talking in his head]'' My career is over. All those years clawing my way up. All the people I've stepped on. Wasted. ''[patties land on the grill]''}} {{L|Bill|Hey! Finally!}} {{L|Nancy|That's what we've been waiting for.}} {{L|''[dotted lines form from his eyes to point to patty]''}} {{L|SpongeBob|They seem to like it when I put this patty on the grill. I may be able to save this act, yet. Roll with it, SpongeBob. Roll with it. There's more where that came from, folks. ''[SpongeBob puts a whole ton of patties on the grill]''}} {{L|All|Yay!}} {{L|SpongeBob|You like that?}} {{L|Bill|It's what we wanted all along.}} {{L|SpongeBob|''[thinking]'' It seems to be working. But how do I follow it up? Buns! ''[speaking]'' It's a stretch, but we've all got to push the envelope, sometime. Okay, folks. How do you like this? ''[Flips patties inside buns]''}} {{L|All|Yeah!}} {{L|SpongeBob|I'm breaking new ground. Time to get edgy.}} {{L|Customers|We want onions! Cheese! Yeah!}} {{L|SpongeBob|Ready for the grand finale? ''[splatting]''}} {{L|All|Whoopee! Krabby Patties!}} {{L|Mr. Krabs|Well, SpongeBob, looks like you've finally found your calling.}} {{L|SpongeBob|I'll say. I'm so glad I gave up fry cooking for this.}}