Ask Patrick Anything/transcript

This article is a transcript of the SpongeBob SquarePants interactive short "Ask Patrick Anything," which aired on November 30, 2014.

• Narrator: Ask Patrick Anything!
• [Patrick's rock appears and Patrick comes out]
• Narrator: You can ask this sincere sea star and his magic rock anything, and he'll certainly have an answer for you.
• Patrick: Yes sir! Just like a genie!
• Narrator: Let's try together. Patrick, is tomorrow going to be a good day?
• [the rock shakes and Patrick comes out again]
• Patrick: [says yes repeatedly]
• Narrator: Told 'ya. He knows everything.
• Narrator: Now you think of a question. That's right. You. Any question, got it? Ask now!
• [the rock shakes and Patrick comes out again]
• Patrick: My head is saying yes, but my tummy is saying no. And I always trust my tummy, so, no.
• Narrator: There's your answer. But before another question, ask Pat!
• [the rock shakes and Patrick comes out again]
• Patrick: You'll find the answer in your hind. Or, is it butt?
• Narrator: Hmm, probably not the answer you expected. Now viewer, think of a really big question. Ready, Set, Ask!

• Narrator: What say you now, Patrick?
• [the rock shakes and Patrick comes out again]
• Patrick: I have one answer, and one answer only.[Quietly]Applesauce.
• Narrator: Umm, Patrick, wanna try that again?
• Patrick: Ask later. I'm busy.
• Narrator: Umm, that was... Ask Patrick Anything!
• Patrick: The inner machinations of my mind are an enigma.
• Narrator: They certainly are, Patrick. They certainly are.