Face Freeze!/transcript

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This article is a transcript of the SpongeBob SquarePants episode "Face Freeze!" from season 8, which aired on July 21, 2012.

[episode begins at Krusty Krab]
Patrick: Thanks for having lunch with me, SpongeBob.
SpongeBob: Anything for my bestest buddy. There's no better way. I could've spent my lunch drink. [slurps] Ahh.
Patrick: That's a pretty cool face. [chuckles] Check you this one out. [chomps, chews]
SpongeBob: [laughs] I love it. What do you think of this? AWOO! [laughs]
Patrick: Oh, hey, how about this? [dolphin call]
SpongeBob: That's awesome! [SpongeBob and Patrick both laughing]
Mr. Krabs: [snores] Ooh. I know this sound. It's the sound of me money being flushed down the toilet! [SpongeBob and Patrick laughs] SpongeBob! Why aren't you manning the fryer?
SpongeBob: Sorry, sir. I got carried away. Patrick and i here making face at each other.
Patrick: Funny faces make me laugh! [laughs]
Mr. Krabs: What? Are you out of your liquid-absorbing mind?
SpongeBob: Why, is there something wrong?
Mr. Krabs: Haven't ye ever heard the saying "If you don't stop making that face, it'll freeze that way"?
SpongeBob and Patrick: Aah, no!
Mr. Krabs: Let me tell you the story of face freeze. [thunder claps, SpongeBob and Patrick's tooth chattering, breathing quickly] It here a cold day, in november, and in Bikini Bottom lived a man who loved to make faces. And the one he liked best was the stinky tongue out. [Fred raspberries and laughs] But what he really liked, was to stick his tongue at people. [Fred raspberries and laughs, Sadie and green Monroe wasps]
Sadie: How huge! [Monroe cries]
[Fred raspberries]
Mr. Krabs: Until one day, when he stuck his tongue out for the 444th time, [Fred raspberries] his face froze with his tongue sticking out...
Fred: Huh, huh... Huh? Permanently.
Mable: Weirdo.
Fred: [muffled] No... NO!
Mr. Krabs: He couldn't open his mouth for months. Until one day, his tongue dried up and fell off!
SpongeBob and Patrick: Oh, no!
Mr. Krabs: So are you fonna keep making faces, boys?
SpongeBob and Patrick: Huh-uh.
Mr. Krabs: Good. I hope you've learned your lesson.
SpongeBob: I'm glad Mr. Krabs caught us before it was too late. Let's agree never to make faces again.
Patrick: Done and done.
SpongeBob: Patrick! Don't even smile. That's considered making a face.
Patrick: Right, gotcha. No problem. Not gonna make faces. No faces... at all.
SpongeBob: No faces... at all. Yeah. This is... [gulps] easy. How you holding up?
Patrick: Huh, fine. You?
[SpongeBob grunts, laughs]
Patrick: [laughs] Dun ah eeh.
[SpongeBob and Patrick laughing both]
SpongeBob: Hey! [Patrick laughs] Patrick. PATRICK!!!!!
Patrick: What?
SpongeBob: Look at us. We're okay. Our faces didn't freeze.
[Patrick stretching]
Patrick: Gosh, you're right.
SpongeBob: Guess, Mr. Krabs made a mistake. Well, now that we know his tall tale isn't true. Let's make lots of faces.
Patrick: You mean like this? [stretching] Ree eeh eeh!
[SpongeBob and Patrick laughing both, SpongeBob growls]
Patrick: [laughs] Aye yi yi yi!
SpongeBob: [laughs] Aw!
Patrick: Phee!
SpongeBob: Ay yi yi yi yi yi!
Patrick: Dun ree ah yee!
SpongeBob: Doy doy doy doy!
Patrick: Ah ah ooh!
SpongeBob: Duh!
Patrick: Aydh!
SpongeBob: Awoot duh doo!
Patrick: Looo ooo ooo!
SpongeBob: Day ah dah da dah!
[SpongeBob and Patrick laughing both]
SpongeBob: I can't breathe! Well, still no frozen faces. Let's really put this myth to the test. Let's see what happens when me hold one face for a long time.
Patrick: Yes! But, now do you choose just one? Um, well, let's see. Oh, oh... How about an eye cross, uh? And then slip into and overbite.[Pulling out upper jaw] And the finishing touch. Gah lowh.
SpongeBob: [chuckles] Delightfully wicked, my friend. I call this one... [smooth, snap, pop] The Gary. Meow!
Patrick: [chuckles] Gloriously disgusting, sir.
SpongeBob: Let's not keep these grotesque faces to ourselves. Let us share then with the whole wide sea. [SpongeBob and Patrick laughing both]
[scene cuts]
[Spongebob and Patrick laughing]
[Spongebob and Patrick Come out of the Ocean]
[Everybody swims away]
[Spongebob and Patrick laughing again]
Sandy: You two need help.
[scene cuts]
Patrick: Hey Spongebob!
[Patrick turns on Flashlight]
[Spongebob and Patrick Laughing]
[Patrick turns off Flashlight]
Patrick: Hey Spongebob!
[Patrick turns on Flashlight]
[Spongebob and Patrick Laughing]
[Patrick turns off Flashlight]
Patrick: Hey Spongebob!
[Patrick turns on Flashlight]
[Spongebob and Patrick Laughing]
Spongebob: It never gets so old!
[Patrick turns off Flashlight]
[Squidward rips Tent]
Squidward: Would You Mind?!
Spongebob: Mind What? Making Faces? Of course were don't.
[Spongebob and Patrick Laughing]
Spongebob: Your Turn Squidward let's see your Crazy Face.
Squidward: I don't wanna make faces I want to SLEEP! D-de-de-de-Da!

Spongebob: Dah That's an good one right there [Spongebob and Patrick laughs]