Back to the Past/transcript

This article is a transcript of the SpongeBob SquarePants episode "Back to the Past" from season 7, which aired on February 15, 2010.

[episode starts with SpongeBob and Patrick walking through Jellyfish Fields]
SpongeBob: Oh boy Jellyfishing, I can’t wait! Can you Patrick? [Patrick is eating tartar sauce] Patrick? Patrick?
Patrick: Did you say something?
SpongeBob: I said... [Gets hit in the eye with a jellyfishing net] Ow!
Patrick: I’m sure how to respond to that.
SpongeBob: [Gasps happily] Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy! [Mermaid Man is sleeping]
Barnacle Boy: [to Mermaid Man] Hey we’re stuck here remember?
Mermaid Man: Why is that?
Barnacle Boy: Because you forgot to fill up the boat mobile before we left. See?
SpongeBob: Hey heroes! Is there anything we can do? [bubble transition to where SpongeBob and Patrick are pushing Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy while they grunt and get tired] So is that it?
Barnacle Boy: Yes. Thank you boys we don’t usually do this but in term for pushing the invisiboat up all those hills. There’s something I'd like you to see, but you must promise to not touch anything.
SpongeBob and Patrick: Okay! [Bubble transition to where Barnacle Boy opens the locker door] Wow!
SpongeBob: Oh the magic claw from episode 1582! Man Ray’s power glove.
Patrick: Ooh! A pair of binoculars.
Mermaid Man: Yes boys, this is our locker of memories. It contains uh... Uh... I can’t remember.
Barnacle Boy: [sighs] It contains all the mero-billa up from our super human adventures.
Patrick: Wow. Hey SpongeBob, check it out!
SpongeBob: The Dirty Bubble's bubble wand!
Barnacle Boy: Correct! [blows the bubble wand to reveal the Dirty Bubble, the Dirty Bubble starts laughing evilly.]
SpongeBob and Patrick: [starts screaming nervously as the Dirty Bubble stares at them.]
Barnacle Boy: [laughs] Scared boys?
SpongeBob and Patrick : Mmm-hmm.
Barnacle Boy: Well don't be. [pops the Dirty Bubble with a needle]
Mermaid Man: And as long as no one touches anything there's nothing here to be scared of.
SpongeBob : Understood.
Barnacle Boy: And this is our time machine. This device allows us to transport into the future or past at a date or destination of our choosing.
SpongeBob and Patrick : Ooh!
Barnacle Boy: Unfortunately, the consequences of altering the order of history are so dangerous, we chose it to leave it alone so you mustn’t touch...
Patrick : [Yells] Hey, this snack machine took my quarter! I want my crunchy munchities!
Barnacle Boy: No!
Patrick : Stupid box! [presses the start button on the time machine and the alarm goes off] You really gotta get that thing fixed.
Barnacle Boy: You fool! You realized what you’ve done?!
Patrick: [cluelessly] Well I lost a quarter.
SpongeBob, Patrick, Mermaid Man, and Barnacle Boy: [ Episode goes to where they all scream all the way in the time machine]
SpongeBob: Oh where are we? [Gasps] It can’t be! Bikini Bottom has at least 39 people living here!
Barnacle Boy: Maybe as you knew it, but this is a different Bikini Bottom of another time. Maybe if you've hadn’t touched the time machine like we told you Patrick, we wouldn’t be in this mess! Hopefully we hadn’t changed anything with our presence.
[Barnacle Boy points his finger at Patrick angrily as the latter shrinks back in fear].
SpongeBob: Oh! Everything looks so fashioned.
Man Ray: [laughs wickedly, destroys Bikini Bottom, and laughs wickedly a reprise] I’m ready to rule the world and its riches! With this weapon, nothing can stop me!
Young Mermaid Man: That’s what you think.
Man Ray: [Gasps] Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy?!
Young Mermaid Man: Sorry Man Ray. But my stallward companion Barnacle Boy and I beg to differ with you.
Young Barnacle Boy: You've tangled with the wrong end of the fishhook of justice Man Ray.
Young Mermaid Man: Now prepare for a heaping helping quick dry-ing tartar sauce.
Mermaid Man: Wow our bodies are so tight.
Barnacle Boy: What went wrong?
Young Barnacle Boy: [Man Ray screams] Jumpin' Jellyfish Mermaid Man, what happened to the tartar sauce?
Patrick: [Burps] Good thing that was around. I was starving.

{{L|Mermaid Man|Curious. Could i have forgotten to refill it?

Man Ray: [shoots up the Tartar Sauce can up while laughing]
Patrick: This is creeping me out!
SpongeBob 1: Patrick what about Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy?
Patrick: I don’t got time for that!
Mermaid Man: Where are you going boys?
Patrick: [episode goes to where SpongeBob and Patrick are in the locker] I just want to go home!
Barnacle Boy: When are we going to have those two classified as villains?
Mermaid Man: They left us here! What are we going to do? I’m sure it’ll all work out.
Young Mermaid Man: Don’t worry, Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy are always here to help the elderly. There’s something familiar about these two Barnacle Boy. I just can’t put my flipper on it.
Young Barnacle Boy: Hey neat hat!
Barnacle Boy: Thanks I... uh... [Man Ray laughs wickedly]
Young Mermaid Man: Let’s get these poor defenseless saviors out of harm’s way.
SpongeBob and Patrick: [episode goes to where they scream on the way back]
Patrick: Well, that’s more like it. back in good old present day Bikini Bottom.
SpongeBob: Yes Patrick, were all born in our place in time. Hello fella citizen. Hello Squilliam.
Squilliam: Man Ray is great.
SpongeBob: Yeah. Must be taking care of his oppugations.
Patrick: That'll Oughta Teach Him To Jaywalk.

SpongeBob: Uh Patrick do you notice anything different about our prison.
Patrick: Sorry I couldn’t hear you over the clatter of prison chains.
SpongeBob: I said is there something odd about Bikini Bottom since we got back.
Patrick: No. But yes! Just look at the giant medicine billboard! It’s missing a bolt on the bottom right corner!
SpongeBob: Even worse than that Patrick. The police got new uniforms!
Patrick: Oh no! What did they do with those old ones?!
SpongeBob: And yikes! What happened to the Krusty Krab?! [Reads the sign] The designated area where you are permitted by Man Ray, your ruler, to obtain sandwiches using Man Ray dollars? Do you see the under-lying tradity in all this.
Patrick: I’m out of Man Ray dollars?
SpongeBob: No Patrick it means we somehow changed the course of history when we went to the past. And now, in this reality, Man Ray is ruler. Oh we got to do something.
Patrick: But what?
SpongeBob: What any self respecting citizen of the Free World would do in a time crisis. See if I still have a job!
Man Ray: Hey, you’re not eating fast enough!
SpongeBob: Excuse me, Squidw... [Thought it was Squidward but realized it was Barnacle Boy]
Barnacle Boy: Yes?
SpongeBob: Barnacle Boy? What are you doing here?
Barnacle Boy: Just taking stuff in a wasted life.
Mermaid Man: [Rings the bell] Order up!
SpongeBob: Mermaid Man, He's wearing a hairnet! What happened? Why are the two greatest heroes ever stuck in this greasy spoon not combating the evils of Man Ray?
Mermaid Man: I lost the desire and the physique to fight long ago kid. Flipping patties is so much easier on the joints when you’re my age.
SpongeBob: What about the younger "Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy"? Surely they refuse to surrender without a fight.
Mermaid Man: You got spaghetti for brain's kid? We are the younger ones. The older ones [is about to cry] lost our souls, have been mortalized in this very restaurant. [cries] [Older MM and BB graves shown]
SpongeBob: I’m so sorry for your loss of yourself.
Barnacle Boy: I hate to break up the memorial service but we’re out of tartar sauce out here.
Mermaid Man: Tartar Sauce?! The topping that destroyed life as we knew it! If only my tartar sauce attack hadn’t failed that day, we wouldn’t be living in this wasteland! We’re already out?
Patrick: Yep. Chewy bit’s... [Burps]
Mermaid Man: I knew I recognized you from somewhere, you were there. and you ate that tartar sauce on that day! Do you realize what you’ve done?!
SpongeBob: Sorry Mermaid Man we didn’t mean to destroy your lives and everything you held dear. What do we say to try to make things right? With your help of course.
Mermaid Man: I’m not teaming up with you to do jack diddly squat! Besides, Man Ray had me by the neck! Oh E-Evil!
SpongeBob: Does that mean the defeat was so traumatic that it has given Man Ray a stranglehold on your psyche?
Mermaid Man : Barnacles no! It means he put the electrical collar on me that won’t allow me to leave the restaurant!
SpongeBob: Oh, let’s get the nasty thing off of you.
Mermaid Man: Haven't you two idiots have done enough damage already??
SpongeBob: I can’t get a good grip on it! I must need a better angle. Hold on. Sorry, sorry. Hey Patrick can you give me a hand on here?
Mermaid Man: Keep away from me! [SpongeBob and Patrick grunting]
SpongeBob: [Mermaid Man gets a bump on his head] Ta-daaa! You're free! Can we coax you and Barnacle Boy out of retirement to save the know universe?
Mermaid Man: I suppose you’ve proven your medal kid, I’ll have my eye on you two. Now let’s pop that Dirty Bubble!
SpongeBob: Actually we’re fighting Man Ray.
Mermaid Man: Oh. Well in that case let the light house of justice shine on Ray Man!
SpongeBob 1: Okay I suppose that’s close enough. Back to the past gents, just stop you from eating the tartar sauce again for the first time. Hmm
The First SpongeBob, Patrick, Mermaid Man, and Barnacle Boy: [episode goes to where all scream in the time machine]
Man Ray: [destroys Bikini Bottom and laughs twice] I am ready to rule the world and its riches!
Young Mermaid Man: Not so fast Man Ray!
Young Barnacle Boy: We’ve got a little surprise for you.
Second Old Mermaid Man: [He and along with the Second SpongeBob, Patrick, and Barnacle Boy come out of the locker machine] Keep your tongue out of the tartar sauce!
Mermaid Man: Impostors!
Second Old Mermaid Man: Who are you calling impostor, impostor? I must prevent our tartar sauce from being eaten by that fool!
Mermaid Man: If I want to get near my tartar sauce I gotta to go through me first!
Second Old Mermaid Man: I’m gonna make me eat those words!
Mermaid Man: Bring it. [The second beats the first] Take this! [beats the second] I’ll never let you win.
Second Old Mermaid Man: Oh yes I will.
Young Mermaid Man: What do you make of this?
Young Barnacle Boy: Tangled timeline Mermaid Man. I-
Man Ray: [laughs wickedly] You old coops provided me the perfect distraction. Now prepare to be disappeared!
Young Mermaid Man: Sounds good on paper you purveyor of evil but fortunately we all know what happens to paper underwater. Barnacle Boy the tartar sauce. [pours tartar sauce on the Second Man Ray]
Patrick 2: Wow! I’ve never eaten that much tartar sauce.
Patrick 1: Yes you have.
Patrick 2: Well it sure ain't sittin right.
Man Ray: [laughs wickedly] Foolish mools. Once Again your bufoon-ery has given me victory! [blows up the tartar sauce can] [Laughs wickedly] Oh I'm going to savor this. It’s not every day I get to defeat Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy 3 times over. [is about to shoot two SpongeBobs, Patrick, two Old Mermaid Mans and Barnacle Boys but another locker comes]
SpongeBob 2: [He along with the second Patrick comes out of the machine] Patrick don’t eat the tartar sauce!
Man Ray: You’re too late! Your fat friend beat you to it. Now prepare to taste, laser! [another time machine comes, which it opens, and the third SpongeBob and Patrick are falling, screaming] So how...
SpongeBob 4: [The time machine door with the fourth SpongeBob and Patrick] I told you we had to go back farther!
Man Ray: Uh... [Thinks but another time machine comes]
Third Mermaid Man: Up, up, and away! [The third Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy jump out and fall to the ground]
SpongeBob 5: [another time machine opens with the fifth Patrick also] Now Patrick! [He along with the fifth Patrick pour tartar sauce on the third Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy and drop the can on them]
Man Ray: I can’t get my head around this. Where are they all coming from? [Man Ray’s machine comes] Another machine? [Man Ray comes out]
Second Man Ray: [shoots his own whole time machine and laughs wickedly] I took care of your blasted time machine! [laughs again and flies away]
Man Ray: Uh! I got to sit down and think this through.
Young Mermaid Man: [chains the Second Man Ray] Gotta! You’ve got plenty of time for thinking in the stony lonesome.
Man Ray: I’m sorry, did you say something? I’m still trying to comprehend what just happened here.
Young Mermaid Man: It’s pretty simple really. You were defeated by a Convoy of time cruising crime stoppers. Thank you SpongeBob and Patrick.
Four SpongeBobs and Two Patricks: You’re Welcome!
SpongeBob 6 and Patrick 6 : [ another time machine which holds seven SpongeBobs and six Patricks comes] Oh hi there! Hello! Hello! Hello!
One Other SpongeBob: We just wanted to come back and revisit the day that evil was defeated forever.
SpongeBob 7: [another time machine appears] Hey, how you doing?
Seventh Patrick: We’re here.
Eighth and Ninth SpongeBobs and Patricks: [two time machines appear] Oh hi there! How you doing?
Tenth SpongeBob and Patrick: Hello! Hello!
Last SpongeBob and Patrick: [more appear] Oh hi there! [More and more appear while the episode pans into outer space] Hello! Hello!