Bubble Bass's Tab/transcript

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This article is a transcript of the SpongeBob SquarePants episode "Bubble Bass's Tab" from season 12, which aired on April 9, 2021.

[The episode begins at the Krusty Krab]
Squidward: One large Flatsom Fries. Extra jetsam. [drops it on tray] Four orders of Duck Weed. [drops it on tray]
Bubble Bass: Me thinks thou forgot my gravy, thou lumpish clay-brained flap dragon.
SpongeBob: [laughs] Flap dragon.
Squidward: Oh, and finally, one deep sea donut. [drops it on tray] That comes to a total of-
Bubble Bass: Whatever the measure, squadron, put it on my account.
Mr. Krabs: [peaks in from tray] Oh no, you don't. No more food for you until you pay your tab.
Bubble Bass: P-p-p-ay t-t-t-t-tab? [reaches into his pocket and grabs a coin] I'll flip you for it.
Mr. Krabs: [grabs coin] I'll take that.
Bubble Bass: [pulls game from pants] How about a game of Three Deadly Challenges?
SpongeBob: Oh, castle! Pick castle!
Mr. Krabs: Oh, back! [slaps game out of Bubble Bass's hands]
Bubble Bass: [runs out of building]
Squidward: [laughs] I bet we'll never see that game geek again.
Bubble Bass: [through drive thru speaker] Fifty Krabby Patties, please. Extra pickles. Put it on my tab.
SpongeBob: [walks up to drive thru window to deliver food to Bubble Bass] Coming right up!
Mr. Krabs: [yelling] Bubble Bass! You...
Bubble Bass: [chanting] Hey, nonny nonny! You look pretty funny! You won't get my money! [starts rubbing his butt on drive thru window] Nah nah nah nah nah!
[Con man in his car honks horn, causing Bubble Bass to run away]
Mr. Krabs: Mr. Squidward! I want you and SpongeBob to go after Bubble Bass and collect his tab!
SpongeBob: [cheers happily]
Squidward: Bleck.
[transition to next scene at Bubble Bass' house, where SpongeBob and Squidward are about to arrive at]
SpongeBob: [chanting] Hey, nonny nonny! You look pretty funny! You won't get my money! [stops chanting] I can't help it. It's catchy.
Squidward: Look. I just want to collect the money as soon as possible and go. Bubble Bass, we're here to collect your tab! [kicks down door]
SpongeBob: Squidward, that was so masculine.
Squidward: Heh. Well,... Let's go. [him and SpongeBob walk into Bubble Bass' house] I know you're in here. Come out!
SpongeBob: [sniffs] Hmm. Smells funny in here.
[Bubble Bass appears as a moose head on the wall before popping back into the wall.
Squidward: Smells like deadbeat. [shouting] If you don't pay up, we'll sell this furniture. [holds up nearby chair and drops it, damaging the corner] How much do you think this is worth? I just chipped it.
SpongeBob: Oh, it was the chip that sold me. I'll give ya ten bucks.
Bubble Bass: [from basement] Hey! Don't touch mother's things! I'll pay the tab! Come downstairs, and we'll work things out. [he wiggles at the carpet, causing SpongeBob and Squidward to painfully fall down the stairs into the basement]
SpongeBob: [lands in Squidward's lap] My savior!
Squidward: [rolls SpongeBob off his lap] Alright, where is he?
Bubble Bass: [from underground room] If you want me to pay, you're gonna have to play the Three Deadly Challenges!
SpongeBob: [jumps into the air] Oh! The Three Deadly Challenges! I got this game! [ he opens up his body, revealing a shelf of board games] Where is it? Game of Strife? Chutes and Bladders? Oh, here it is! [he pulls out Three Deadly Challenges and closes his body] The Three Deadly Challenges!
Squidward: A board game. Woopee.
SpongeBob: [shouting] Okay, Bubble Bass! We accept the challenge!
Squidward: Why are you giving him the upper hand? He owes us money!
SpongeBob: Oh. But I wanna pway the Thwee Deadwy Chawenges.
Squidward: Oh alright already! Let's get this over with!
SpongeBob: Oh yeah! [Squidward kicks him into underground cellar as SpongeBob laughs]
Squidward: Oh, boy. [climbs ladder into cellar]
[in the cellar]
SpongeBob: Woah. A life size version of the Three Deadly Challenges. Beautiful.
Squidward: Looks like a hobo campground.
SpongeBob: No, Squidward. You have to look with your imagination. [he waves his hand across the screen, revealing a more fantasy-like landscape]
Squidward: What the? No! [he ruins the fantasy landscape] It's a dump!
Bubble Bass: Thou are two oozing cysts on the hind side of a plague dog's nose.
Squidward: What did he say?
SpongeBob: The colorful insults are the best part of the game.
Squidward: That figures. [walks to where Bubble Bass is along with SpongeBob] So how do you win this goofball game anyway?
SpongeBob: Since Bubble Bass challenged us, all we have to do is get close enough to tag him out. We get three chances, or should I say three challenges.
Squidward: Oh. [grunts]
SpongeBob: Oh, boy! Look, Squidward! [wields sword a few times]
Squidward: This feels stupid. [sighs]]
SpongeBob and Squidward: Charge!
[Squidward laughs. SpongeBob exits the kitchen with a rose in his mouth.]
SpongeBob: [takes the rose out of his mouth] Ole, Señor Squidward?
[Squidward jumps out the boat, and holds his arm out to SpongeBob.]
Squidward: Ole, SpongeBob.
[SpongeBob puts the rose back into his mouth, twirls, and then starts dancing with Squidward.]
Squidward: I'll lead.
Mama Bass: [pokes Squidward's arm] May I?
[Mama Bass giggles whilst looking at Squidward.]
Squidward: Eh, but of course. [he and Mama Bass dance. SpongeBob eats the rose and the episode ends with Squidward and Mama Bass dancing out of the Krusty Krab]