Chatterbox Gary/transcript

File:Whelk Attack 094.png	"Spon... Spo... Spo...!" This SpongeBob SquarePants episode transcript is incomplete. You can help Encyclopedia SpongeBobia by adding new content to the page.

• [The episode begins at SpongeBob's house. SpongeBob is reading a catalog with his snail, Gary.]
• SpongeBob: Ooh, take a look a this, Gare Bear. Found a slime ball in your shoe? Even purebred snails call fall victim to the scourge of slime balls. [puts the catalog on the table and flips his glasses in his head]
• [Gary hacks and spits out a slime ball. SpongeBob catches the slime ball with a catcher's mitt.]
• SpongeBob: You really got some air on that one.
• Gary: Meow.
• SpongeBob: I know that meow. That says, "I'm hungry." [flips his chair over to reveal Gary's food bowl] Lucky for you, I speak fluent snail. [sticks out a can of snail food from his mouth and dumps some food in Gary's bowl]
• Gary: [pouts] Meow!
• SpongeBob: What, you're not hungry?
• Gary: [kicks the food bowl in SpongeBob's face] Meow-meow!
• SpongeBob: [whips the food off with his nose] Oh, of course. [opens his face and pulls out a leash] You wanna go for a walk? [closes his face] Gary, you really need to work on your pronunciation.
• [SpongeBob goes to put the leash on Gary. But Gary backs away. SpongeBob tries again, but fails. Then the two start a brawl, which ended with SpongeBob getting tangled in the leash.]
• SpongeBob: Okay, no walkies. [pulls the leash off]
• [Gary angrily meows at SpongeBob and pushes him against the table. The catalog falls off the table.]
• SpongeBob: Oh, if only you could talk like a real person. [Gary points at something in the catalog] Huh? Ooh! [reads] "The chatterbox translation collar? Know what your best friend is saying!" A snail translator! That's a great idea, Gary. [picks up the phone and calls the chatterbox salesman]
• Chatterbox salesperson: [filing her nails] Chatterbox order line.
• SpongeBob: Hello, yes, could you please send me one chatterbox snail collar?
• Chatterbox salesperson: Do you want regular, express, or our fastest delivery option time warp?
• SpongeBob: Ooh, time warp, please!
• Chatterbox salesperson: Very well, your package was delivered last Thursday.
• [SpongeBob hangs up the phone, turns around, and gasps as he sees a huge box in the middle of the floor.]
• SpongeBob: Oh, I wonder where this came from.
• [Gary slithers off the box and SpongeBob opens it. He dumps out the styrofoam, which is formed into a cube. He touches it and styrofoam explodes in his face. SpongeBob inhales the styrofoam and holds up the new translation collar.]
• SpongeBob: Oh, here we go. [puts the collar on Gary's shell] Okay, Gary, speak to me.
• Gary's collar: [Gary meows] Check, check. [Gary meows] One, two. Ah, that's more like it. Hello, there, Papa Bob.
• SpongeBob: [tears up] Papa Bob. Oh! Oh, Gary, now you can express you innermost thoughts in language I can understand. [holds up diary] I have so many questions.
• Gary's collar: [Gary meows] Lay 'em on me, Papa Bob.
• SpongeBob: What do you dream about?
• [As Gary explains, he is shown flying in the sky with jellyfish.]
• Gary's collar: [Gary meows] Mostly, I dream of flying above it all...
• SpongeBob: Aww, that's sweet.
• Gary's collar: While I breathe fiery destruction upon my enemies.
• [Gary breathes fire on the town of Bikini Bottom and the townspeople scream and run in terror. The vision ends and SpongeBob gets very scared.]
• SpongeBob: [gulps] Hey, if you're gonna dream, dream big, right? [clears throat] Let's move on to question two, shall we? What are your long-term goals?
• Gary's collar: [Gary meows] To finish restoring my hotrod.
• [Gary's hotrod is shown sputtering and firing up its engines. One tail pipe falls off.]
• SpongeBob: Yeah, you need to get on that. But what I really want to know is, [turns upside-down and shakes his butt] how do I look in these pants?
• [Gary's eyes look squared until he shakes his head.]
• Gary's collar: [Gary meows] They really bring out the sharp corners of your buttocks.
• SpongeBob: Oh, Gary, you flatterer. Come on, Gare, let's show Patrick your new voice. [meets up with Patrick outside] Oh, Patrick, I have got a surprise for you! [laughs] Say hello to Gary.
• Patrick: [shakes Gary's eyestalk] Hello, Gary.
• Gary's collar: [Gary meows] Hello, stinky man.
• Patrick: Hmm? Hmm. [smells his really stinky armpit and his head melts] Phew! Ooh, you're right, Gary, I am ripe! [grabs a trashcan and dumps garbage onto himself] Ah, much better.
• Gary's collar: [Gary sniffs and meows] Delightfully disgusting.
• Patrick: Thank you, my good man.
• [The scene changes to Sandy leaving the Bikini Bottom Dentist Office.]
• Sandy: Thanks for the old tooth scrubbing! Bye!
• SpongeBob: Sandy! Gary has a new translating collar.
• Gary's collar: [Gary meows] Hello, hairy astronaut lady.
• Sandy: How do you do, little fella? [pets Gary]
• Gary's collar: [Gary meows] You know, same shell, different day.
• SpongeBob: Isn't it amazing?
• Sandy: Aww, that ain't nothing. I invented a nut translator ages ago. [puts a nut translator on a walnut]
• Walnut: [through nut translator] The pistachios are all out to get me. You can't trust 'em. They're working for the peanut mafia!
• Sandy: [laughs] Walnuts are extra nutty.
• [The scene changes to Squidward meditating in his house.]