Company Picnic/transcript

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• [The episode starts off with SpongeBob working at the Krusty Krab. Food items shaped into a picnic are put on the grill. SpongeBob starts speaking in their voices.]
• Herb (SpongeBob): Sure is a nice day for a picnic.
• Loretta (SpongeBob): Oh Herb! It's like a second honeymoon!
• Herb (SpongeBob): Just look at Timmy and Sally throwing the old disc around!
• Timmy (SpongeBob): C'mon and throw it, sis!
• Sally (SpongeBob): I just wanna say I'm gonna be real sad when you go off to college.
• [Sally plops onto the grill.]
• Timmy (SpongeBob): Oh Sally, don't be such a goop! (SpongeBob appears, tears in his eyes) You know... I'll always be your big brother! [sniffles]
• [SpongeBob starts crying and his tears start dropping on the grill]
• Loretta (SpongeBob): Is it starting to rain?
• Herb (SpongeBob): Nothing can spoil this perfect day!
• Sally (SpongeBob): What's the matter big brother got something in your eye?
• Timmy (SpongeBob): Yeah... that's it... that must be it...
• Sally (SpongeBob): Ha haw, who's the goof now because here it comes!
• [SpongeBob makes Sally throw the disc/pickle]
• Squidward: Oh, what now? I don- WHAT THE-
• [The pickle lands in Squidward's face, causing Squidward not to see]
• Squidward: [screams] PICKLE JUICE! Oh, my eye!
• [Squidward tries to grab something to make him see again, but instead picks up the hot sauce and squirts it in his eye. This causes his eye to catch fire]
• Squidward: [screams]
• Mr. Krabs: I smell something burning...
• Squidward: Yeah. Probably my eye...
• Mr. Krabs: Oh, stop your drama, Squidward.
• [Mr. Krabs blows the extinguisher in his face]
• Squidward: You missed a spot.
• [Mr. Krabs flashes it in his face three times. He walks into the kitchen and sees what SpongeBob is doing. He then blows the extinguisher on Herb, Loretta, Timmy, and Sally.]
• Mr. Krabs: What in the name of Neptune's tail fin is going on in here, boy?
• SpongeBob: Oh, I'm playing picnic with my wonderful little food friends Herb and Loretta! These are their kids Timmy and Sally.
• Mr. Krabs: Mhm. Sounds to me like you're wasting my precious ingredients! Listen SpongeBob, just because there isn't any customers doesn't mean you can't do SOMETHING productive.
• SpongeBob: Like what, Mr. Krabs?
• Mr. Krabs: Well, I mean you could, OH! You can dust the pickles! Or uh, alphabetize the buns! Ehhh, you could, uh... water down the ketchup!
• SpongeBob: At this point it would be ketchuping up the water.
• Mr. Krabs: Whatever. Now if these little fellers could work... maybe you'll be on to something... hey, you couldn't make me a little tiny army of unpaid workers, could ya?
• SpongeBob: Huh, well I can try, Here's a little worker. We'll call him Pete.
• Mr. Krabs: Ohhohohohoo! Hi Pete!
• [Pete droops a bit]
• Mr. Krabs: Hey, what's wrong with Pete? He's not working!
• SpongeBob: Maybe Pete is just tired.
• Mr. Krabs: Well now, that shouldn't interfere with Pete's work.
• SpongeBob: Well I don't know Mr. Krabs, i guess it might affect his productivity-
• Mr. Krabs: [gasps] No! Not his productivity!
• SpongeBob: Hey, maybe if Pete can go on a picnic like the Patty family, he might be rested and happy and more productive then ever!
• Mr. Krabs: [gasps] No! Not leaving the workplace for pleasure!
• SpongeBob: Hey! Maybe Pete's boss could have a company picnic and Pete could have a great time and relax and come back and work twice as hard!
• Mr. Krabs: Company picnic?
• [Pete comes back up]
• SpongeBob: See, look! He's already perking up!
• Mr. Krabs: Gee, SpongeBob, you think if I threw a picnic, your productivity would increase?
• SpongeBob: Definitely!
• Squidward: [opens door] What's going on in here?
• Mr. Krabs: Just in time, Mr. Squidward! You're about to go on... the greatest company picnic ever!
• [Mr. Krabs and SpongeBob high-five each other and then the screen moves to the window and shows an eye that then goes back to The Chum Bucket]
• Plankton: A company picnic ay? That gives me an idea.
• [bubble transitions to Jellyfish Fields and shows SpongeBob, Mr. Krabs, and Squidward sitting on toilet paper.]
• Squidward: This is the greatest company picnic ever?
• Mr. Krabs: Yes, yes it is.
• SpongeBob: Pace yourself Squidward, the fun is just getting started.
• Squidward: Is this, toilet paper we're sitting on?
• Mr. Krabs: Oh, don't think of it as just toilet paper, it has thousands of uses. [shows SpongeBob putting on a hat made out of toilet paper.]
• SpongeBob: Here's one!
• Squidward: Well, I guess things will pick up once the food gets here.
• Mr. Krabs: Right you are! Here's the food! [points to a pile of condiment packs.]
• Squidward: [picks up packet of mustard] What?
• Mr. Krabs: Oh, you're confused? Let me show you a little hack. [bites a pack of mustard and opens it with his mouth.] See? You open it with your teeth. [puts mustard on a round piece of toilet paper.] There, isn't that fun? And afterwards, you can toss it around like a, you know, one of those things you toss around. [Squidward holds the disk shaped paper.] Here let me show ya. Go out for a long one SpongeBob!
• SpongeBob: Going long!