A SquarePants Family Vacation/transcript

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• Patrick: (Sweating) "Well, I'd probably be enjoying the view if I still had any blood flowing through my arms, OW!."

• (Vine starts to break)

• SpongeBob: "Don't worry Patrick, you're patience isn't the only thing that's wearing thin! (Vine breaks, both screaming and swinging on a vine. SpongeBob sees different vine) Grab it Patrick!"

• Patrick: "Got it! Okay SpongeBob, your turn! SpongeBob!" 

• SpongeBob: (Snoring, wakes up and grabs vine) "Oh I got it!"

• (SpongeBob and Patrick slide through the sand, land behind a rock) 

• Monster: (Looks around, shrugs and flies away)

• SpongeBob: "Whew, that was a close one, right Patrick?"

• Patrick: "Yeah, looks like everything worked out just... vine..." (Patrick laughing)

• (Ringing noise)

• SpongeBob: "Patrick... Patrick, did you hear that?"

• Patrick: It sounded like it came from the other side of this big rock!" 

• SpongeBob: "This isn't a big rock, it's a big wall!)

• (Camera zooms out to reveal "no parking" sign on brick wall)

• Patrick: "Do you think it belongs to that gift shop right there?"

• (Camera pans to gift shop)

• SpongeBob: (Walks up to gift shop) "What would a gift shop be doing right in the middle of nowhere?"

• Patrick: "Uh... selling gifts?"

• (SpongeBob and Patrick enter gift shop)

• SpongeBob: (Looking around) "Wow Patrick, look at all this stuff! (Taking multiple pictures) You gonna buy something?"

• Patrick: "No, I'm not in the market for any souvenirs."

• SpongeBob: "Well you can never have to many- (Gasps) Oh no! I just realized what this place is!"

• Patrick: "You have?"

• SpongeBob: "Patrick, we have walked straight into a (whispering) tourist trap..."

• Patrick: "A TRAP!"

• SpongeBob: "Shhh..."

• Patrick: (Whispering) "...A trap..."  

• SpongeBob: (Sweating) "Come on. Let's escape, before we spend all our money on useless trinkets..."

• (SpongeBob and Patrick tip-toeing out of gift shop)

• SpongeBob: "Patrick wait, I saw a very nice driftwood sculpture over there which would work great as a mantlepiece."

• Patrick: "SpongeBob no!"

• (Cuts to Patrick spelling his name in the sand, SpongeBob enters crying and carrying multiple shopping bags")

• Patrick: "SpongeBob!"

• SpongeBob" "Patrick that tourist shop took me for everything I had! Now we don't have any money, we're still lost, and we're gonna be in big trouble! Oh this vacation is a disaster!"

• Patrick: "SpongeBob I-"

• (SpongeBob bursts into tears) 

• Patrick: "I don't think this vacation has been a disaster."

• SpongeBob: "...You don't?"

• Patrick: (Picks up brochure, opens) "No! Of course not, see?! We did everything we dreamed of doing at The Great Barrier Reef."

• SpongeBob: "Patrick you're right! We went down a sewage pipe..."

• Patrick: "Like a slide."

• SpongeBob: "Bounced off a huge anemone..."

• Patrick: "Like a trampoline."

• SpongeBob: "Hid in a nest!"

• Patrick: "Like a fort!"

• SpongeBob: "And swung on some vines! Which are a lot like ropes! This vacation has it all!"

• Patrick: (Closes brochure) "All except for one thing."

• SpongeBob: "Whats that?"

• Patrick: "A way out of here."

• SpongeBob: "My poor parents must be worried sick."

• Patrick: "I suggest we take a nap here until they come and find us! And then we'll be well-rested on the way home."

• SpongeBob: (Walking away, Leaving his bags.) "I suggest we start walking."

• Patrick: "I was afraid he was gonna suggest that."

• (Cuts to SpongeBob and Patrick, singing The Road Song with tired, dry voices)

• Patrick: "SpongeBob, maybe we should take a break from the singing for a while."

• SpongeBob: "Good idea Patrick. I'll just play the road song on this whistle I got from the souvenir shop." 

• (SpongeBob playing The Road Song on whistle)

• Harold: "Oh hey son, we're ready to go."

• (SpongeBob continues playing, multiple animals begin to follow as he walks with Patrick through the forrest)

• Patrick: "Wow SpongeBob, you're pretty good with that thing."

• SpongeBob: "Well thanks Patrick, glad you think so."

• Patrick: "Apparently I'm not the only one who does."

• SpongeBob: "What do you mean? Who else could- (Camera zooms out to reveal the monster) Oh no not again. 

• (The monster drops to the floor)

• Patrick: "The whistle seems to have soothed it."

• SpongeBob: "I think it's offering us a ride!"

• (fruit fly points to its back)

• (Cuts to SpongeBob and Patrick on top of the monster)

---

• Road. Road. Road. Road. Road. Road. (Continues throughout song)

• When I'm above the road

• All I see is sky

• When I'm above the road

• On a giant fruit fly

• When I'm above the road 

• (Both) He used to fill us with dread...

• When I'm above the road

• I'm as snug as a baby bug in bed

• Let's all sing the above the road song

• I wanna sing it all day long 

• Let's all sing the above the road song (Clap Clap!)

• Let's all sing alonnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnng

• Duh...

---

• (Giant Fruit fly drops SpongeBob and Patrick back onto playground)

• SpongeBob: "Thanks again. Patrick I think that is the friendliest terrifyingly large insect I have ever had the pleasure of being carried off by."

• Patrick: Me too. 

• (Margaret and Harold pull up in car)

• Margaret: "SpongeBob? Oh there you are!"