Don't Be a Jerk
"Don't Be a Jerk (It's Christmas)" is a song that was released as a bonus on the SpongeBob's Greatest Hits CD. This was also included in the 2008 "Built By Me" Lego competition part of Nicktoons Network Animation Festival.
The song was later featured in the series' second Christmas special, It's a SpongeBob Christmas! In the episode, SpongeBob and Sandy, find that the song's music works as an antidote to Plankton's jerktonium-laced fruitcake, so SpongeBob sings the song to everyone in Bikini Bottom, returning them to their normal forms.
Lyrics
Lyrics highlighted in red text were only used in the album version of the song.
- [Speech]
- Ahoy, everybody! SpongeBob here. Christmas means presents and mistletoe, sharing and caring, so during this most festive season, please, don't be a jerk.
- Bring joy to the world; it's the thing to do
- But the world does not revolve around you
- Don't be a jerk
- It's Christmas!
- There's a sign above the line that says "Express"
- That means ten items or less
- Don't be a jerk (don't be a jerk)
- It's Christmas
- Be nice to babies and animals, old folks too
- 'Cause that's how you'd like them to treat you
- Use turn signals, don't screen my calls
- Don't you wreck my house when you deck the halls
- Spit your gum where it won't wind up on my shoe
- Squeeze toothpaste from the bottom of the tube.
- Don't be a jerk (don't be a jerk)
- It's Christmas!
- It's Christmas!
- When others are talking never interrupt
- Don't put people down or leave the toilet seat up
- It's the time for family and holly and turkey
- 'Tis the season to be jolly not jerky (jolly not jerky)
- Don't dig in the cereal box for goodness sakes
- Take the prize and leave me nothing but flakes
- Don't be a jerk (don't be a jerk)
- It's Christmas!
- Santa brought nearly every gift on your list
- Why whine about the one that he missed?
- Don't be a jerk (don't be a jerk)
- It's Christmas!
- It's Christmas!
- Don't be a jerk (don't be a jerk)
- It's Christmas!
- Don't be a jerk (don't be a jerk)
- It's Christmas!
- Live Performance
- ________________________________________________________________________________
- Tom Kenny: And I need you guys to close your eyes, 'til I say "open your eyes." Everybody, close your eyes 'til I say "open your eyes," Right? Somebody served you peeking. Get out. Get out, I'm serious. No. Alright, Close your eyes... And don't open them 'til I say "open." The Hi-Seas: Ooh..
- ( SpongeBob and Patrick wearing a Christmas Tree costume, with the rest of the Hi-Seas appeared. )
- Tom Kenny: (in a SpongeBob voice) Open your eyes! (normal voice) Pretty cool, huh? There's a new CD out called "Spongebob's Greatest Hits." And we have a cut-out there to hope your hearing a lot of November and December. Um... And I wrote and it's um...... it's some of the message I got. It's called "Don't Be a Jerk (It's Christmas). " ( in a SpongeBob voice ) Bring joy to the world; it's thing to do But the world does not revolve around you. Don't be a jerk it's Christmas! There's a sign above the line that says "Express" that means 10 items or less. Don't be a jerk ( Don't be a jerk) it's Christmas! Be nice to babies and animals, old folks too. 'Cause that's how you'd like them to treat you. Ues turn signals, don't screen my calls. Don't you wreck the house when you deck the halls. Spit your gum where it won't wind up on my shoe, squeeze toothpaste to the bottom of the tube. Don't be a jerk ( Don't be a jerk ) It's Christmas!
- It's Christmas!
- ( trombone plays) Ha ha ha!
- When others are talking, never interrupt.
- Don't put people down or leave the toilet seat up.
- It's the time for family, holly and turkey.
- 'Tis the season to be jolly, not jerky! ( Jolly, not jerky! )
- Don't dig in the cereal box for goodness sakes, Take the prize and leave me nothing but flakes.
- Don't be a jerk ( Don't be a jerk ) It's Christmas!
- Santa brought nearly every gift on your list, Why whine about the one that he missed?
- Don't be a jerk ( Don't be a jerk ) It's Christmas!
- Don't be a jerk ( Don't be a jerk ) It's Christmas!
- Don't be a jerk ( Don't be a jerk ) Hey! It's Christmas!
- The Hi-Seas: Ooh...
- Tom Kenny: ( in a SpongeBob voice ) Please, don't be, please, don't be, please, don't be a J-E-R-K, Jerk.