Feats of Meats
The Feats of Meats are a Hamdonian trial held in the The Patrick Star Show episode "Much Tofu About Nothing."
Description
If a commoner wants to marry royalty over the king's chosen suitor, the two suitors can battle in the Feats of Meats to see who gets the rights. It consists of three trials. In the episode, Sir Frankfurter is the announcer, while Tofu Todd and Prince Shmeat are the two contestants.
Events
- Archery: The two competitors must each shoot an arrow at a target. Tofu Todd struggles to launch his bow and misses the target, while Shmeat wins it with little effort.
- Jousting: The two competitors compete in a jousting match on horseback. Tofu Todd accidentally mounts his horse backwards. Princess Hamhock decides to give him an advantage by making Greasy spread grease on the track. Shmeat's horse trips and bucks him off, letting Todd win the round.
- Barbecue battle: The two competitors fight on the top of a giant barbecue. Shmeat hits Tofu Todd with a wedge of ham and sends him away. Princess Hamhock realizes Todd is in no condition to fight and dresses as him, then returns and pantses Shmeat. Greasy drops a banana peel that makes Shmeat fall onto the grill.
Jolly King Pork Chop is impressed by Todd's victory until he finds out that Princess Hamhock had disguised herself as him, and the real Todd shows up. The trials end with Hamhock being forced to marry Shmeat.