Lake Crashers/transcript

This article is a transcript of the Kamp Koral: SpongeBob's Under Years episode "Lake Crashers/transcript" from season , which aired on .

• [The episode opens with a danger sign, with fire below it. SpongeBob and Patrick are standing on opposite sides.]
• SpongeBob: Are you ready?
• Patrick: [beating chest] I'm ready!
• SpongeBob: Fire coral wrestling in three--
• Patrick: [stomps]
• SpongeBob: Two. [stomps] One.
• [A wrestling bell goes off as the two step onto the fire coral, screaming in pain. They then jump into the air and start wrestling each other. They scream in pain again as they are launched onto the ground next to Sandy, laying on top of each other.]
• Sandy: [laughs, wipes tear] Y'all are more tangled up than a sow on spaghetti night.
• Patrick: Mm, spaghetti.
• [Kevin and Bubble Bass are seen each holding a tall stack of books. They whistle, then bump into each other as they fall down and the books scatter all over the place.]
• Larry: [Mo comes onto the scene with a Frisbee] Larry is wide open, bro. Throw it!
• [Mo throws the Frisbee at Larry, which knocks him backwards into a long line of anchovies waiting at the outhouse. The anchovies get knocked over like dominoes, and the outhouse falls over to reveal an anchovy reading the newspaper.]
• Anchovy: [covering themselves] Meep?
• Sandy: Hey, everyone crashing into each other just gave me a crazy good idea of what we could do today.
• SpongeBob: What is it, Sandy?
• Sandy: Have our very own crash-a-rific demolition derby. I spent a summer with my Uncle Earl traveling with his [black-and-white demolition derby footage is shown] Deep-Fried Mud-Pied Southern Baked Demolition Derby. [mimics revving as a live-action squirrel is seen driving a vehicle] Yee-haw!
• Patrick: [rubbing belly] Mm, mud pies.
• Sandy: [pulling everyone to her sides] We need some derby vehicles and a place for all the crashing without the grownups finding out.
• All: Ooh. [laughter]
• [Bubble transition to later that night, where the Kamp Koral entrance is shown. A tire rolls by, and SpongeBob and Patrick pop out of it. They lift up the dock and place the tire under it.]
• SpongeBob: [whistles]
• [Sandy hops out of a can with orange traffic batons, and gestures with them. The campers appear behind the slide as they begin sliding down.]
• Sandy: Go!
• [The campers begin going down the slide and through the tire under the dock.]
• Camper #1: Whoa!
• Camper #2: Ah!
• Anchovy #1: Meep!
• Camper #3: Whoo!
• Camper #4: [stops mid-air as the lighthouse light shines onto him, and everyone else tenses up] Ah!
• All: [as the lighthouse light continues rotating, wiping sweat] Phew.
• [The campers continue going down the slide.]
• Camper #5: Ah!
• Anchovy #2: Meep.
• Anchovy #3: Meep.
• [SpongeBob and Patrick get onto the slide themselves. Patrick gets stuck in the tire, and SpongeBob flies into him, sending them both forward. The tire is no longer under the dock, lowering it.]
• [Bubble transition to the demolition derby, where several crowd members are spectating.]
• Perch: [on platform with mic] Good evening, and welcome to the first ever Kamp Koral Under-the-Lake Demolition Derby!
• Crowd: [cheering as one of them gets knocked down]
• Squidward: [in cheerleader outfit] Reduced to cheerleader. [grumbling, then Pearl grabs him] Hey! What are you--
• [Pearl throws Squidward into the air, and he flails in the air. He lands in Pearl's arms as he strikes a pose.]
• Crowd: [cheering, throws roses] Squiddy!
• Squidward: Did I say reduced? I mean, [gets lifted in the air and holds six pom-poms in his tentacles] promoted to cheerleader. Yeah-ha! [falls down]
• [Craig moves the spotlight over to Mo and Harvey, who wave.]
• Perch: [off-screen] All right, let's get to it! [Mo and Harvey open the doors behind them, with Harvey struggling] Born from the unholy union of nerds and jocks, give it up for the number five car, [a wooden vehicle with a football helmet breaks through the wall] the Muscle Machine!
• [Larry and Bubble Bass are in the vehicle. The vehicle is shown in greater detail, with dumbbells as wheels and a "2-RIPPED" license plate on the back. Pan over to Patrick struggling to open a pink door with stickers and a sign that says "HOME SWEET HOME."]
• Perch: [off-screen] And the number seven car--
• [Patrick manages to open the door, and a submarine-like vehicle pushes Patrick into the air. SpongeBob and Sandy are in the vehicle.]
• Patrick: Whoa!
• Perch: [off-screen] The Dinghy Dinger!
• [Patrick lands in an audience member's spot, sending him out of the stadium.]
• Patrick: [notices drink in hand from spectator] Ooh! [chews gum]
• [A detailed shot of the Dinghy Dinger is shown. It has a rotating periscope on top of it. SpongeBob and Sandy put their helmets on.]
• Sandy: [fist-bumps SpongeBob] Rock and roll, SpongeBob! It's time we rope these calves. [puts vehicle in drive, starting the engine] [giggles]
• Bubble Bass: [wearing soda drinking helmet] Ludum gladitorium! Let's smash these bottom-feeders back to the Dark Ages.
• Larry: Hey, watch it! My mother is a bottom-feeder.
• Perch: [off-screen] On your mark.
• Larry and Sandy: [growling]
• Perch: [off-screen] Get set.
• Sandy: [pushing on gas pedal]
• Bubble Bass: [sipping from soda hat]
• Sandy: Hang on, SpongeBob! It's about to get bumpier than a swamp toad's backside.
• Perch: Go!
• Sandy: [starts driving] Yee-haw!
• [The other vehicle starts driving as well.]
• SpongeBob and Sandy: [laughing]
• [The two vehicles start running towards each other.]
• Sandy: [growling]
• Bubble Bass: [whimpers]
• [The two vehicles hit and bounce off of each other. The Muscle Machine crashes, but then wall rides on the stadium.]
• Larry and Bubble Bass: [look at each other, then laugh]
• Sandy: [laughs] Two can play that game. We're gonna take this sideways. [maneuvers vehicle to drive on the wall]
• SpongeBob: [screaming]
• Sandy: Whoa!
• [The two vehicles begin driving towards one another on the wall.]
• SpongeBob and Sandy: [laughing]
• Sandy: Yee-haw!
• [The vehicles hit and bounce off each other, sending them both mid-air.]
• Sandy: [screaming]
• [Meanwhile, Patrick chews and blows a bubble from his gum. The Dinghy Dinger sticks to it, making it stretch in the air.]
• SpongeBob and Sandy: Whoa!
• [Patrick still has a hold of the gum with his teeth, and tries to chew it. He takes a sip from his drink, which causes enough suction for the Dinghy Dinger to rebound.]
• SpongeBob and Sandy: Whoa! [vehicle lands in stadium]
• [Patrick's gum splatters onto his face. The Dinghy Dinger lands in the stadium, and knocks the Muscle Machine into the air, and Larry reaches for Tall Tail's legs in the crowd. He grabs onto them and the vehicle begins rotating around the legs. Larry lets go of Tall Tail as he launches themselves back onto the stadium, ripping Tall Tail's shorts off.]
• Tall Tail: Huh? [covering crotch with popcorn] Aww.
• Larry: [tosses away shorts cloth]
• [The Muscle Machine lands back on the stadium. Both vehicles begin driving into each other again.]
• Sandy: Let's see how they like my stilt legs. [presses a button to activate the vehicle's stilt legs, which makes it go over the Muscle Machine]
• [The Dinghy Dinger stops as SpongeBob looks through the periscope.]
• SpongeBob: [laughs, taunting] ♪ Missed me, missed me, now you gotta kiss me! ♪ [imitates kissing]
• Bubble Bass: [Muscle Machine stops] Ha-ha! I think not, my squishy yellow carbuncle! [accelerates vehicle to make it kick mud onto the Dinghy Dinger]
• Sandy: Huh? [mud splatters onto vehicle] Whoa! I can't see nothing through all this mud.
• SpongeBob: [lifts periscope to reveal muddy eyes] Me either.
• [The Muscle Machine rams into the Dinghy Dinger, sending it away.]
• SpongeBob and Sandy: [screaming and holding onto each other] Ahh! Whoa!
• [The Dinghy Dinger starts bumping around the stadium like a pinball.]
• Larry: [laughs]
• Bubble Bass: [looking ahead] Huh? [rapidly taps on Larry's shoulder, then their vehicle gets rammed into by the Dinghy Dinger, making them crash]
• Sandy: You're up, SpongeBob.
• [SpongeBob moves to the side of the vehicle, revealing a plunger cannon.]
• SpongeBob: Fire! [fires plunger cannon, which latches onto the other vehicle]
• Bubble Bass: Huh?
• Sandy: [reverses vehicle, pulling the Muscle Machine backwards with them]
• Larry and Bubble Bass: [screaming] Whoa!
• [Sandy stops the Dinghy Dinger, and paddleballs the Muscle Machine.]
• SpongeBob: [laughs and kicks feet]
• [The camera pans upward to the surface, where a large bubble emerges from the lake. Several of these bubbles start entering the lighthouse, where Mrs. Puff is sleeping in her bed. A bubble pops on her face, and an engine revving sound is heard. Another pops, and tires are heard squealing.]
• Mrs. Puff: [sniffs] Oil burning? [more bubbles pop, sniffs] Rubber melting? [more bubbles pop, sniffs] Tires screeching? [more bubbles pop] Motors revving? [eyes pop out of sleep mask] Ah! [opening lighthouse door, now clothed] Oh, sweet mama, it's a demolition derby! [shuts door and cranks a telescope] Hmm.
• [The telescope goes under the lake as it shows the demolition derby, where the two vehicles crash into each other.]
• Crowd: [cheering]
• Crowd members: Wow! [look behind them] Huh?
• Mrs. Puff: Ah! [cranks back telescope, puts it away] Oh, dear, I should probably put a stop to it. But that smashing and crashing, it's so inviting. [looks at her reflection in the lake] Zoom, smash. [moves away, holding up arms] No, I can't. I must put the children's safety first. But the infectious sound of crunching steel-- [looking at reflection] the derby is calling, and we must answer.
• [Bubble transition back to the derby, where Pearl and Squidward are both cheerleading.]
• Squidward: Go, go, rah, rah! Go, go, [jumps into the air, then gets hit by an incoming vehicle] rah, rah! Whoa! [falls down]
• [Larry, Bubble Bass, SpongeBob, and Sandy all look at the new contestant.]
• Sandy: Who the El Paso is that?
• Perch: [on mic] Looks like we have a new contender. I don't know who it is [Mrs. Puff drives around in a traffic cone-shaped vehicle] or what cabin they're from, but they sure can drive!
• Mrs. Puff: [stops vehicle and jumps out, wearing a black and yellow suit] Ha-sha! [points to herself] They call me Driver X. X as in extreme! The best darn derby driver that you've [flame effects appear] ever seen.
• Crowd: Whoa. [cheering]
• [Split screen views of the other four competitors appear one by one. Everyone gives an aggressive grunt except for SpongeBob, who just laughs and gives a thumbs up.]
• Sandy: As my Uncle Earl would say, let's tie a knot in her tail.
• Larry: [both vehicles start driving] Pedal to the metal!
• Mrs. Puff: [laughing while standing on her vehicle as the other two approach] Hyah! [jumps into vehicle and starts driving]
• [Mrs. Puff's vehicle starts spewing flames from the back and speeds past the other two vehicles, making them spin. Both crash into each other and land upside-down.]
• Sandy and Larry: [in split-screen view] Uh-oh.
• [Mrs. Puff turns her vehicle around.]
• Mrs. Puff: Hyah! [cackles, presses two buttons to reveal pinball flippers]
• Sandy and Larry: [in split-screen view] Uh-oh!
• [Mrs. Puff drives her vehicle into the other two, making them spin rapidly.]
• SpongeBob, Sandy, Larry, and Bubble Bass: [all screaming]
• [Mrs. Puff begins to rapidly press the two buttons, which causes the flippers to send the two vehicles into the walls, making them bounce around like pinballs, which plays pinball effects.]
• Crowd: [cheering]
• [Both vehicles crash and each bounce off a wall, then crash into each other.]
• Mrs. Puff: [waving as the two vehicles crash mid-air] Thank you, thank you.
• [The vehicles land in the stadium again.]
• Larry: Whoa!
• [Both vehicles then drive into Mrs. Puff's vehicle, sending her flying upwards out of it. She lands back inside.]
• Mrs. Puff: Well, all right. Now we've got us a derby. [laughs, spins vehicle around, which makes the other vehicles spin with her]
• [The other four competitors are shown in their spinning vehicles. Then, Mrs. Puff's vehicle throws the Muscle Machine into a wall, then the Dinghy Dinger into another, which sticks to the wall.]
• Sandy: [laughs, presses button to fling the vehicle upwards with stilts]
• Mrs. Puff: Oh, the old stilt leg trick, eh? Well, [turns vehicle around, back of traffic cone opens] take this!
• [The Dinghy Dinger enters Mrs. Puff's vehicle, which she aims upwards and shoots the vehicle out.]
• SpongeBob and Sandy: [screaming, get pushed inside their seats]
• [The Dinghy Dinger rapidly shoots upwards, above the surface and into space. It then falls back down, causing a giant splash in the ocean, and crashing into the stadium once again, making Patrick drop his ice cream.]
• Patrick: [sadly sighs as ice cream falls to the ground]
• Pearl: [sees ice cream, babbling]
• Squidward: [cheerleading on Pearl] Larry, Larry, he's our man. If he can't do it-- [Pearl whistles her blowhole, sending him upwards] Ah!
• Pearl: [crawls onto the arena]
• Squidward: [lands, continues cheerleading] Sandy can! Whoo, whoo, whoo!
• Pearl: [babbling, crawling towards ice cream as Mrs. Puff's vehicle drives by with flames]
• [The derby vehicles continue driving, dodging Pearl as she continues to crawl. A tire falls off and rolls near her. Pearl picks up the ice cream, and the camera zooms in on a spectator drinking something.]
• Spectator: Huh? [pointing to Pearl] There's a baby out there!
• [A spotlight is aimed at Pearl.]
• Crowd: [gasps]
• Mrs. Puff: Oh!
• Larry: [driving Muscle Machine] Yeah! [cackles]
• Mrs. Puff: Oh!
• Sandy: [driving Dinghy Dinger, cackling] I gotcha!
• SpongeBob: [laughing]
• Mrs. Puff: Ah! [whimpers as the other vehicles drive towards Pearl]
• [Mrs. Puff pulls a lever, which puts her in the head of the cone. She gets shot out, does a backflip in the air, and lands in the sand with her hands out. She grabs Pearl and inflates, cushioning the other two vehicles as they run into her, also sending them backwards. The pressure causes Mrs. Puff's helmet to pop off.]
• Crowd: [gasps]
• SpongeBob: [off-screen] Mrs. Puff?
• Crowd: Whoa.
• Squidward: [mouth agape] Wha?
• Perch: [gasps]
• Patrick: [giving thumbs down] Boo! Bring back Driver X! [takes someone's drink next to him and drinks it]
• Sandy: [as Mrs. Puff inflates] You like the demolition derby?
• Mrs. Puff: [sets Pearl down] Like it? It's in my [flexes veiny muscle] blood.
• [Cut to the inside of Mrs. Puff's blood vessels, where all the red blood cells have tires on them. Several crash into each other like in a demolition derby.]
• Mrs. Puff: I came here to keep you safe and protect you, just like I protected Pearl.
• Pearl: [gets into Mrs. Puff's vehicle and starts the engine]
• Squidward: But who's gonna protect us from [points to Pearl, everyone else looks] her?
• Pearl: [babbling as the vehicle spews flames, then begins recklessly driving towards everyone]
• [Everyone runs away from Pearl, and the episode ends.]