Lords of the Larp/transcript

This article is a transcript of the Kamp Koral: SpongeBob's Under Years episode "Lords of the Larp/transcript" from season , which aired on .

[The episode opens with Perch in the watchtower.]
Perch: [through microphone] Good morning, Kamp Koral! Just a friendly reminder to [yelling] run for your lives! It's Dodgeball Day!
[A girl camper is drinking from a drinking fountain.]
Scottish kid: What is dodgeball? [gets hit by a dodgeball, then the girl camper gets hit as well]
Larry: [with the other jocks, who are holding dodgeballs] Game on, bros.
Elwood: Ru--! [a dodgeball lands in his mouth]
Campers: [screaming and running away as dodgeballs are thrown at them]
Mo: [pointing] Larry, 4 o'clock!
Larry: [looks in the direction Mo is pointing at, where a bunch of anchovies are] Hm?
Mo: Pinball maneuver!
Larry: [retracts his arm and releases it, sending a dodgeball to hit the anchovies like a pinball]
Anchovies: [meeping and briefly turning different colors as they are hit, then all fall over]
[Mo, Larry, and Craig skid to a half and each throw a dodgeball. Several more campers are knocked over. One gently rolls to a camper and knocks him over.]
Craig: [shedding a tear] It's beautiful, man. It's beautiful.
Larry: Bros, look! [camera pans over to the nerds playing a medieval board game on a table] Dweebs!
Bubble Bass: Well want to thee, brave adventurer. [places down a board game piece] The coral giant has spotted you. He hurls a boulder. Elden ranger, roll an agility save.
Kevin: [rolls the die, which lands on a 20] 20! Critical save. I dodged it! [gets hit with a dodgeball]
Bubble Bass: [turns around] Curse of the elder gods. It's Dodgeball Day!
Mo: Time for my screwball special. [cranks her arm around her dodgeball, which she tosses at the table, knocking it over and leaving a dust cloud; the ball continues looping in the air] Huh?
Mr. Krabs: [sips his drink, sighs] What's this now? [moves his eye stalks to dodge the dodgeball] Ooh. Ahh. [the dodgeball bounces off of a coral tree and comes back to knock him over, spilling his drink all over him, yelps]
Mo: [catches the dodgeball]
Larry: Oh, we hit camp master Krabs. [all run away] Run!
Mr. Krabs: [catches Mo with his claw] You! What do you think you're doing?
Mo: Uh, dodgeball sports fun?
Mr. Krabs: Oh-ho, fun, eh? Look at the Pontoon cabin. [Bubble Bass and Kevin are groaning on the ground] Do they look like they're having fun?
Mo: Um, a little?
Mr. Krabs: [sets Mo down, pointing his claw] No. I should've seen this comin'. You kids from Frigate cabin are too aggressive. [points ahead] Get your gear. [tosses the dodgeball away] You're gonna live in the Pontoon cabin for a whole week.
Mo: [looks at the Pontoon cabin, then screams with the nerds]
French Narrator: [narrating time card] Later that day...
Mo: [off-screen] This is totes unfair! [seen lifting Bubble Bass as a weight inside the Pontoon cabin] I'm a highly trained athlete! I'm a modern-day warrior and I'm stuck here with you nerdy acts.
Bubble Bass: A warrior, you say? Interesting. I believe the fates have [gets off of Mo] forced to you upon us to learn the exciting world of [rubs hands together] Coins and Caverns!
Mo: [holding Harvey and Kevin] Oh, is that the lame game you play?
Kevin: Do you think fighting orcs--
Harvey: Slaying dragons--
Kevin: And putting your life on the line as a warrior is lame?
Mo: Probably. [sets down Harvey and Kevin] How do you play?
Harvey: You build a character sheet. It's filled with stats like how strong or smart you are.
Kevin: Don't give her stats. It'll just confuse her.
Mo: Stats? Hey, kinda sounds like fantasy football!
Kevin: What's football?
Bubble Bass: [at the table with the board game] So what say you, good warrior? [turns on a lamp] Want to test your metal and roll up a character?
Mo: Oh.
Bubble Bass: [holds out a pair of dice] You roll these dice like your life depends upon it. [gives the dice to Mo]
Mo: Hmm. [throws the dice so hard they break through the cabin]
Bubble Bass: [unamused] Okay, how about roll the dice like you want to keep them on the table?
French Narrator: [narrating time card] Several soda-fueled hours later.
[The nerds and Mo are playing the board game.]
Bubble Bass: All but one of you avoid the undead dragon's necrotic breath. The elf falls to the ground. [flicks over an archer board game piece]
Kevin: [chokes and falls to the floor, tugs on Mo's shirt] Tell my Elven wife I love her. [passes out]
Mo: Tell her yourself, because we're gettin' you outta here.
Bubble Bass: The dragon advances. [moves dragon board piece]
Mo: [moves character board piece] I charge the dragon!
Bubble Bass: It's your attack!
Mo: [flicks the die onto the board, which lands on a 20] 20. Critical hit!
Harvey and Kevin: [cheer]
Bubble Bass: [as Mo moves her character piece] Your ax plants in the dragon's chest!
Mo: [flicks her character piece into the dragon] Hi-yah!
Bubble Bass: Its radiant light [shines flashlight onto dragon piece] burns into the dragon, eradicating its undead soul! [knocks over dragon piece] It falls, defeated.
Harvey and Kevin: Huzzah!
Mo: Huzzah! So, what's next? You got somethin' that can top this tabletop?
Nerds: [whisper amongst each other]
Bubble Bass: It is decided. You're ready for the next level.
French Narrator: [narrating time card] The next level.
[The scene changes to the camp at dusk. The nerds are in medieval costumes.]
Kevin and Harvey: [play fanfare from their medieval trumpets]
Bubble Bass: [exits the cabin] Hear ye, hear ye. [unrolls paper] The Lords of LARP proudly introduce their newest warrior!
[Kevin and Harvey spray fire extinguishers at the cabin entrance as Mo emerges.]
Mo: Yeah!
Bubble Bass: Headbutt the Berserker!
Mo: [swings fake ax and yells]
Jocks: [jogging] Hut, hut, hut, hut, hut, hut, hut! [stop in front of the Pontoon cabin, then take some steps backward]
Larry: [pointing] Whoa, bro. Did these brainiacs actually turn you into a dweeb?
Mo: I have learned the ways of the LARP. Now, if you'll excuse us, we are off to save the hamlets from an ogre!
Bubble Bass: [as the nerds and Mo run off] Into the fray!
Kevin: [laughing as he falls down and gets back up]
Larry: It's like they're turning her muscles into brains. [touches his head]
Craig: What if she tries to get into college and all she has is brains? She'll never get a sports scholarship that way.
Larry: Also, what the heck is a LARP?
SpongeBob: LARP means live action roleplay.
Larry and Craig: [yelp]
SpongeBob: It's like nerd sports. [pointing] I can teach you if you want.
Larry: Sports, you say? Bros, if we're ever gonna snap Mo out of this, it's gonna be with sports. Even if it's a nerd sport. How fast can you teach us LARP?
SpongeBob: Ooh, faster than a wall of bubbles.
[Bubble transition to the next morning, where a rooster is heard crowing.]
Craig: [now in LARP gear, blows a conch shell to play fanfare]
Mo: [wakes up] Hm?
Harvey and Kevin: [wake up, with Kevin hitting his head on the upper bunk]
Bubble Bass: [opens his bedroom door] The horn of challenge! To arms!
Kevin: Raise the draw castle!
[A large cardboard cutout drawing of a castle is reeled up to the front of the cabin.]
Bubble Bass: [emerges, then uses his spyglass to see the Jocks and SpongeBob]
SpongeBob: [being held by Larry] Remember, guys, it's all about having fun and smiting thine enemies.
Bubble Bass: Egads! The barbarians are at the gate. Battle positions!
Bubble Bass, Harvey, and Kevin: [charging out from the entrance] Charge!
Mo: [charging as well] Charge!
SpongeBob: Lords of the LARP, the Brobarians challenge you to a battle royale!
Bubble Bass: We accept your challenge.
Larry: Then today you shall... uh... line? [SpongeBob whispers to him] Perish, bro!
Craig: [blows the conch shell]
Jocks: [charge ahead]
Larry: Hooray!
Tall Tail: Yah! [chucks a dodgeball, breaking through the Pontoon cabin]
Mo: Beware! Their giant is deadly accurate with those boulders! [gets in front of a cowering Bubble Bass, then uses her ax to deflect two dodgeballs, then headbutts another]
Tall Tail: [dodges the reflected dodgeballs]
Bubble Bass: You saved me. Unfortunately, you're stunned for 20 Valhallas.
Mo: [lowers her ax to the ground] One Valhalla. Two Valhalla.
Bubble Bass: [holding a bean bag] Now, it is my turn. [his eyes turn to flames as he tosses the bean bag] Fireball! [the bean bag falls to the ground not far from where he stands] I'm doomed.
Kevin: [loads a bow] I'll deal with the giant. [shoots the arrow at Tall Tail's elbow]
Tall Tail: Ow.
SpongeBob: Direct hit, Tall Tail. [points] Your throwing arm has been rendered useless.
Tall Tail: [arm sags] Forsooth.
Craig: [grunts at Harvey]
Harvey: By the power of the ancient kelp warriors, sea bear! [looks cute as he puts bear ears on his headphones, then roars]
Craig: Huh? Magic's confused, Brobarians. [tosses his pool noodle as he yells and runs away from Harvey]
Tall Tail: [Harvey stops in front of him, laughs as he twirls around a tennis ball on a pole, then swings it into the sand near Harvey] Yah!
Kevin: [gets in front of Harvey, aiming his bow] Not so fast, giant.
Larry: [uses SpongeBob to deflect the arrow mid-air] Yay!
Harvey: [runs off]
Kevin: [reaches behind his ear for another arrow, but sees he is out] Huh? [gasps] I'm out of arrows. [holds up a sword] Switching to swords!
Larry: [brings out his own sword] Ha!
SpongeBob: Remember to block with my face. [Kevin stabs him in the face] Good job.
[Larry and Kevin swordfight as Mo is seen still standing still with her ax.]
Mo: 12 Valhallas. 13 Valhallas.
[Harvey chases Craig around Tall Tail. Larry swings his sword.]
Harvey: [yells as he tries SpongeBob with his sword, who dodges his attacks; he then gets the sword inside of SpongeBob's mouth, which he struggles to pull out and is sent backward to a coral tree]
Larry: Ha-ha. [pokes Kevin with his sword]
Kevin: [holds the sword] I am a sheath to death, slain. [fakes dying]
Craig: [yelling, still running away from Harvey, then leaps as Harvey gets hit by Tall Tail's weapon]
Harvey: [dizzy, then gets hit repeatedly into the ground with Tall Tail's tennis ball] Ouch.
Bubble Bass: [tosses a bean bag at Larry] Fireball!
[Craig throws his shield to deflect the bean bag.]
Craig: [gives a thumbs-up] I got you, bro.
Larry: [gives a thumbs-up] Thanks, bro.
Bubble Bass: [repeatedly tries to catch his bean bag and fails] Whoa.
SpongeBob: [as Larry approaches Bubble Bass] Prepare to play dead.
Bubble Bass: [whimpers]
Mo: [off-screen] 20 Valhallas! [swings her ax to the ground in front of Bubble Bass]
Larry: Whoa! [slides away, then Craig and Tall Tail appear next to them and groan]
Mo: Come at me, bros.
All: [yell and run into each other, fighting as SpongeBob is sent flying and bounces]
SpongeBob: [laughs] Whee!
Bubble Bass: [tosses a blue bean bag into Harvey's hole] Healing spell. [runs away]
Harvey: [emerges from the hole] Huzzah!
Bubble Bass: [tosses a blue bean bag at Kevin to revive him]
Kevin: I am rejuvenated! To battle! [clutches his side as it hurts] Ow, ow, ow.
Mo: [skids on the ground, then uses her ax to protect herself from Craig and Larry's swords]
Larry: [an arrow bounces off of him] Huh?
Kevin: Three against one? You should've brought more men.
Larry: [groans and falls over] I'm comin', ancestor bros. See you in Brohalla.
Craig: Bro? [gets tackled by Harvey]
Harvey: [fakes chomping] Chomp, chomp, chomp, chomp!
Craig: I am devoured. [fakes dying]
[The Nerds and Mo meet up just before the ground shakes. Tall Tail stands in front of them.]
Mo: Uh...
Tall Tail: [swings his tennis ball weapon to hit the Nerds away]
Mo: [falls to the ground, her ax breaking in two, gasps]
Bubble Bass: [tossing a die to Mo] Roll like your life depends on it!
Mo: [catches the die, runs ahead, stepping over Harvey, then leaps and yells at Tall Tail as he leaps at her at the same time in slow-motion; yells as she throws the die at Tall Tail's chest, which lands on a 20]
Kevin: 20! Critical hit!
Tall Tail: [falls over]
SpongeBob: The Lords of LARP have won!
Nerds and Mo: [each raising a hand in the air] Victory!
Larry: [groans as Bubble Bass holds out his hand] Huh?
Bubble Bass: Well fought, brave warrior. [Larry grabs his hand to get up]
All: Huzzah! Huzzah! Huzzah!
Mr. Krabs: [holding a teacup, sighs] It warms me heart to see them playin' together. Camp master Krabs, ol' boy, you really did all right this time. [sips, then screams as an arrow hits him, spilling the drink all over him]
Mo: Slay the ogre!
All except Mr. Krabs: [yell]
Mr. Krabs: [as everyone charges at him] Say what now? I surrender!
[The camera pans up to the sky as an orange bean bag is tossed to the screen as it fades to black.]